In this episode, we’re diving into the conversations I wish I could have had with the covert narcissist in my life. The words I rehearsed but never said. The truths I buried for the sake of “keeping the peace.” The sarcasm I bit back. The boundaries I swallowed. All of it. Because sometimes, the only way to make sense of the madness that is covert narcissistic abuse is to talk it out—even if it’s only in your own head.

We’re pulling back the curtain on:

This isn’t just about venting. It’s about reclaiming the space to name what happened, to validate the version of reality you know you experienced, and to remind you that you’re not crazy. You’re not too sensitive. You’re not imagining it. You’re waking up.

So grab your tea, your journal, or just a quiet moment in your car, and let’s process together. Because your voice matters. Even if it’s shaking. Even if it’s only just starting to come back.

✨ Leave this episode knowing:

—

🔗 Want support on your healing journey?

#covertnarcissism #gaslighting #emotionalabuse #covertnarcissist #healingjourney #narcissisticabuserecovery #reclaimyourvoice #podcastforsurvivors

At the end of every episode, I say, “I wish you so much peace on your journey of healing.” But today, I want to pause and really talk about what that journey actually looks like—because healing from covert narcissistic abuse isn’t what most people think.

When I first left, I believed healing meant I’d wake up one day and magically stop hurting. I thought it meant I’d feel strong and peaceful all the time. Instead, I felt confused, angry, exhausted… and sometimes even guilty for walking away.

What I didn’t know then—but deeply understand now—is that healing isn’t a return to who you were before. That version of you doesn’t exist anymore. And that’s not a tragedy—it’s a transformation. Healing is not going back—it’s becoming.

In this episode, I take you inside the real healing process: the grief, the guilt, the spiral staircase of progress. I unpack what we’re actually healing from—the chronic invalidation, emotional starvation, and deep erosion of self-worth that doesn’t leave bruises but leaves a lasting impact.

You'll hear examples that hit home, like standing in the grocery store frozen by the realization that you don’t have to buy his favorite cereal anymore. Or crying in the bathroom because someone raised their voice, and it took you back. You’ll also hear what healing becomes: the moment you say no without explaining, the first night you sleep peacefully, the sound of your own laugh returning after years of silence.

We’ll talk about:

🔔 Listen now and remember: Healing is happening inside of you, even on the days it feels invisible.

As always, I wish you so much peace on your journey of healing—because it’s real, it’s sacred, and so are you.

In this raw and emotional episode, we’re diving deep into one of the most devastating dynamics in families with a covert narcissist: when the parent doing all the emotional labor is unseen, while the other parent gets all the praise.

We unpack the covert narcissist’s relentless need for supply and scapegoats—and how this manipulative cycle plays out not just with their partner, but with their children. You’ll hear the heartbreaking truth of what it feels like to be the steady, loving, rule-setting parent while your kids are pulled toward the fun, charming, and performative parent who barely shows up... until the cameras are on.

This episode is for the parents who make the lunches, wipe the tears, stay up worrying, enforce the rules, and still get painted as the “problem.” It’s for the ones who feel erased, blamed, and heartbroken.

You’re not alone—and you’re not invisible.

Tune in for validation, practical healing tools, and the reminder that your love leaves a lasting mark, even if your children can’t see it right now. The truth will rise.

To the invisible parent: You are the anchor. You are the lighthouse. And one day, they will know.

I often get asked:

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

Not all bruises are visible—and some of the deepest ones live in the hearts of our children.

In this powerful episode, we talk about the unseen wounds of emotional abuse, especially when you're parenting alongside a covert narcissist. What happens when the world only believes abuse if they can see it? What happens to the children growing up in that invisible war zone?

If you’ve ever felt dismissed because your scars weren’t physical, or if you’re watching your children carry emotional weight no child should bear, this episode will speak to your soul. You’ll hear validation, truth, and hope for healing—for you and for your kids.

This one’s for the parent who keeps showing up, even when no one sees how hard it is. You are not alone. And your love is rewriting their story.

🎙️ Tune in now—and please, share this with someone who needs to know: their story matters too.

What a privilege it is to introduce to you Debbie Mirza! She is best-selling author of the book "The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist," one of the first books I ever read that opened my eyes to the nightmare that I was living. This book is an amazing resource for gaining awareness and understanding of covert narcissism.

Have you ever tried to Grey Rock a covert narcissist—only to watch it completely blow up in your face? You stayed neutral, kept your answers short, and avoided reacting… but somehow, things escalated anyway.

In this episode, we dive deep into why Grey Rocking often backfires with a covert narcissist, and how to use it in a smarter, safer, and more strategic way. You'll learn how covert narcissists twist neutrality into rejection, how they bait you into reacting, and how to avoid giving them emotional fuel—without triggering more manipulation.

We’ll break down:

Tune in now and learn how to outsmart the manipulation—without losing your peace.

Is a peaceful divorce possible when dealing with a covert narcissist? In this eye-opening episode, I sit down with high-conflict divorce coach Eleanor Marks to unpack the complexities of separation from a covert narcissist. We dive into the concept of radical acceptance—understanding the reality of your situation and adjusting your expectations accordingly. If you're navigating a high-conflict divorce or struggling to co-parent with a covert narcissist, this conversation will provide clarity, validation, and practical steps to regain your power.

🔹 Can a divorce ever be “healthy” with a covert narcissist?

Your freedom starts with knowledge—tune in now!

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Imagine being pushed, prodded, and ignored—until you finally snap. Then suddenly, you’re the problem. Sound familiar?

In this episode, we’re diving deep into reactive abuse—one of the most insidious tactics covert narcissists use to flip the script and make survivors question their reality. I’ll share real-life stories—both from childhood and marriage—illustrating how this pattern plays out, how narcissists provoke reactions only to play the victim, and why your reaction does not make you the abuser.

If you’ve ever been told, “Wow, you’re the crazy one,” or “You really have anger issues,” after finally standing up for yourself—this episode is for you. Let’s dismantle the shame and reclaim your truth.

You are not alone. Your reactions don’t define you. And you deserve to heal.

Subscribe now and don’t miss next week’s deep dive on the Grey Rock method!

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

In this powerful Part Two of the two-part series with Dr. Anthony Mazzella and Renee Swanson, we shift perspectives. In part one, we discussed the adult child uncovering a covert narcissistic parent, and this is featured on The Narcissism Decoder. Now we shift to the parent who realizes their adult child exhibits covert narcissistic behaviors.

Dr. Mazzella, a seasoned psychotherapist and psychoanalyst, brings his expertise in to explore the emotional turmoil, self-doubt, and painful realities parents face when confronted with this harsh truth. Together, we unpack the deep-seated psychological mechanisms that drive covert narcissism, the role of early relationship failures, and how unresolved emotional wounds shape an insatiable need for validation.

This episode offers a compassionate yet realistic discussion on:

If you’ve struggled with feelings of guilt, confusion, or helplessness in your relationship with an emotionally manipulative adult child, this episode provides the clarity and support you need.

You can find part one on The Narcissism Decoder - https://www.drmazzella.com/the-narcissism-decoder-podcast/