Decoding Narcissism, Manipulation And Toxic Ideas, with Frederik Ribersson

We often struggle after a toxic relationship and get flashbacks. It might be a challenge to picture the other person accurately. Good sides, bad sides, and memories that were neglected. And this can prevent us from moving forward.

In this episode, I hypothesise that a reason for this is "traumatic memory loss". If there are stressful altercations, there is a risk we shut down and forget the stressful moment. But remember good times. But can't make sense of why we were not relaxed.

When relationships are not linear or stable, it can be hard to comprehend how a person can both be wonderful and a nightmare. Or how some dynamics can be nasty.

Here I share some thoughts and an exercise that could bring clarity.

To recover from toxic relationships, we need clear thinking. And some things prevent clear thinking. In this episode, I share some recent insights I had around coffee, sleep, exercise, and more. Some things might seem obvious. But if even one thing helps you rest and recover better, you WILL be better equipped.

Sorry for delay in posting, I don't want to post unless I feel inspired and that I'm providing value. I'm working through some things now and will hopefully post again more soon.

Smear campaigns are hoaxes. Hoax specialist Mark joins us to explain hoaxes, how they work - and how to recognise them. We discuss the psychology, the levers, how they hack our minds, and how they are used. Use these tools to recognise them, as well as how to react when you are the target of a hoax.

Mark runs the insightful website https://americandebunk.com/ when he debunks political hoaxes. In this episode, we do NOT talk of politics, as it is irrelevant to the topic. The goal is to provide listeners and viewers with tools to recognise techniques, so you can assess if something is a hoax, or is not.

I hope you find this episode insightful, and some of the information helps you protect yourself and your reputation, as well as avoid falling for hoaxes created by bad faith actors, in ALL aspects of life.

After a breakup, it is normal to feel some discomfort, and it can be challenging to sit with it. Instead, we might be tempted to numb ourselves, find coping mechanisms. But maybe sitting through it enough - and not too much - is a key to working out deeper themes that need addressing. And sometimes old thoughts surface, memories, that can help us better understanding what happened, and why, and maybe be a bit kinder with ourselves.

I share some thoughts on the topic, I hope you find a few helpful ideas.

From one day to the next, a whole group of people goes weird. But no one says anything. Are we just imagining things? Maybe we did something wrong? So how can we decode this? In this case, a listener is experiencing this in a work environment.

A few things stand out: how can we tell if we're the problem? Usually, being worried we might be is a rather safe indication we are not.

Then, if we can't think of an event that triggered it, it reduces the likelihood there was such an event.

If people are weird around us, we can sometimes identify who is uncomfortable at being gossiped to, and simply ask if they'd let us know if something got weird.

And remember that this could be a form of mobbing, which might require to involve HR, or management.

Consider options to discuss, but also options to leave in case it is unhealthy and there is little or no support.

As always, exercise your judgement and adapt to your situation.

Hope this is helpful and let me know if you have other questions where my take could be useful in providing elements to decode situations.

Learn how to use emotions to detect toxic signals in a relationship, symptoms of unhealthy relationships, and noticing when something is off. As well as reducing the risk a relationship becomes toxic. Dr Paul Ekman recently passed away and his work on emotions was ground breaking. We can use emotions to decode things happening around us that our rational brains don't see. But with emotions, we can learn the signals.

In this episode, I run through the 7 universal emotions, how to use them to decode toxic situations, and why none of them are "negative", even though 5 are unpleasant.

Toxic relationships are draining. And managing our energy is crucial in order to get our lives back. I share some thoughts and tips around this, while taking you for a walk - and hoping the noise is not detracting from the content. (If it is, please let me know and I won't record outside again).

In short: get out and move! The body needs movement and toxic people feel like they're pulling on the hand break. And there are other things you can do to get your life back on track, I share some suggestions and how you can find what works for you!

After we trusted too easily, too much the wrong person, what do we do? Shutting down and no longer trusting anyone is safe. But... It leads to a very lonely life, and might be a bit of an overreaction, at least in the long term. So what can we do? And how to do it?

A client asked me this question, I gave her a long answer, and thought it might be helpful for some listeners.

I noticed a series of strange signals before things get really weird - but I reacted calmly: I was prepared, this time. I'd started speaking with a woman at the hotel gym. I noticed some weird comments. Each, taken individually, didn't mean much, but together should have alerted me.

I was going to have dinner and she tagged along. During the dinner, she attempted to switch on Drama Mode and play victim. But instead of apologise or reassure her, I debunked her claims, calmly.

Here are the signals I picked up on, and some thoughts around such (bizarre) interactions.

Some might remind you of situations you've been in. Maybe you can imagine if you would have reacted like me, or differently, and you'll see different options.

I hope you find this helpful (and possibly entertaining).

A friend was upset: he's fallen out with an ex colleague, whom I happen to know. He was worried because of a former "colleague" who was smearing him. I happen to know the guy, and found him weird.

In this episode I share part of our conversation. This is relevant for anyone having to deal with a smear campaign.