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By Frederik Ribersson
4.5
138138 ratings
The podcast currently has 166 episodes available.
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To recover from toxic relationships, we need clear thinking. And some things prevent clear thinking. In this episode, I share some recent insights I had around coffee, sleep, exercise, and more. Some things might seem obvious. But if even one thing helps you rest and recover better, you WILL be better equipped. Sorry for delay in posting, I don't want to post unless I feel inspired and that I'm providing value. I'm working through some things now and will hopefully post again more soon.

Toxic relationships are draining. And managing our energy is crucial in order to get our lives back. I share some thoughts and tips around this, while taking you for a walk - and hoping the noise is not detracting from the content. (If it is, please let me know and I won't record outside again). In short: get out and move! The body needs movement and toxic people feel like they're pulling on the hand break. And there are other things you can do to get your life back on track, I share some suggestions and how you can find what works for you!

I noticed a series of strange signals before things get really weird - but I reacted calmly: I was prepared, this time. I'd started speaking with a woman at the hotel gym. I noticed some weird comments. Each, taken individually, didn't mean much, but together should have alerted me. I was going to have dinner and she tagged along. During the dinner, she attempted to switch on Drama Mode and play victim. But instead of apologise or reassure her, I debunked her claims, calmly. Here are the signals I picked up on, and some thoughts around such (bizarre) interactions. Some might remind you of situations you've been in. Maybe you can imagine if you would have reacted like me, or differently, and you'll see different options. I hope you find this helpful (and possibly entertaining).

Narcissists HATE people talking. Why? Because they can't control what is said. They don't know what is said. That creates uncertainty and reduces their power. And yes, they will happily talk behind others' backs. Create falsehoods, narratives. But when people speak, they will realise conflicting narratives and might get suspicious. Look for a few things: 1. who wants to be the central node of communication in a group 2. who gets upset when people speak 3. who speaks behind other's backs If someone gossips, they'll gossip about you too. If they betray your secrets once, they'll do it again. As long as people don't talk to each other, they probably will be unaware of this.

One of the most helpful tools in systemic therapy is identifying primary and secondary goals. Otherwise we get hypnotised by words. I say I want to run a marathon but I smoke, eat pizza and don't even wear running shoes? Maybe I'm not a hypocrite, but maybe my primary goal is to do nothing whilst claiming I want to do sport, so I can feel better about myself. That's with an individual. But introduce another person in a relationship. They say they want a loving relationship but they start conflict at the worst possible moments? Maybe that's because it's the easiest way to extract energy from you. And if they didn't say that they want a loving relationship, you'd leave?
The podcast currently has 166 episodes available.

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