Psychometrics can be key in understanding ourselves in general. However, they become particularly illuminating when we seek to understand toxic dynamics with narcissists.

Narcissists conflate us describing things as they are, with saying how we want things to be. Using this simple picnic metaphor can help us avoid this trap.

Last night I witnessed a woman abusing her boyfriend over dinner. She operated in 6 stages to break him down. I share those six stages and some ways to reduce the risk of being hurt in such situations.

When a narcissist breaks up with us, that is commonly referred to as a "discard". However, today I came across a tweet from psychotherapist Jonathan Shedler that mentioned being "shrugged off". There is an emotional quality to this expression which I think is highly relevant to situations with narcissists.

Kylie Borg was in a toxic relationship and, as often is the case, she did not realise it. Little by little, things got worse, until one day she set her boundaries - and stood by them. So what did her ex do?

Index:

Why would a divorce lawyer need to learn about narcissism? Why is "trying to prove to the court that your ex is a narcissist" a losing strategy? What could you do instead? Why is "seeking justice from the court" likely to backfire?

It's understandable to want justice or closure. And it works best when it comes from within.

Narcissists are about as reasonable as hostage takers. Though perhaps less so. However, we can learn some techniques from FBI hostage negotiators that help us get better outcomes when dealing with narcissists.

We all have fears, and some fear are actually quite common. Once we realise this, we see how narcissists will exploit different fears in different people. And, doing so, it is common for narcissists to be able to control people, with minimum effort.

Narcissists confuse us by lying to us and gaslighting us. It can be awfully hard to figure out what is true, and what is false. However, there are some simple sentences that can help us ungaslight ourselves a bit after dealing with narcissists.