💬 Episode Description (Show Notes):
Why do narcissists hate your peace so much? In this episode, Christy breaks down why your calm threatens their control, the sneaky ways they try to shake it, and simple tools to guard your peace like the crown jewel it is. ✨
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Why does it feel like every time you finally get calm, the narcissist in your life stirs up that drama? Today I'm sharing why your piece is such a threat to them and the exact tools you can use to guard it like the crown jewel. It is. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice and how to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun.
So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. All right, so why do these narcissists hate our peace so much? First of all, they survive on control, drama, and emotional chaos. So your piece means they are losing their influence on you, right? They want to shake you up. They want to keep you chaotic in your brain. So think of it like this. Your piece is evidence that you know longer need them. Again, your piece is evidence that you no longer need them and that terrifies them. Their ego, you know how big their egos are, okay? Their ego feeds on reaction. So that could be angers, tears defending yourself, but silence and calm.
That starves them. It starves their ego, it starves that needing to be fed that they have, right? So how did they attack your piece? You probably know, but we'll go through a few little examples. First, there's the drama bombs, right? The sudden emergencies, which we talked about last week. Even with the texting, they exaggerate things, say they're emergencies. Things are important when you're finally relaxing. Of course the text barrages, right? So they're endless messages when you've gone no contact or gray rock. So if you haven't blocked 'em and you can still see you just aren't responding or writing to them at all, you could definitely end up with a lot of messages. They get very compulsive about it. Basically desperate to get a response from you, right? The guilt trips, this could be you've changed or you don't care about family or you don't care about whatever anymore, right?
These guilt trips, when they see a change to make you feel bad about that change, by the way, don't feel bad about that change, right? And the lovely smear campaigns. So this is stirring others up against you when you won't react to them directly. So this is designed to pull you out of calm because in peace you can think clearly. They don't like that because clear thinking means their mask can slip, you can outsmart them. We have a podcast on how to outsmart narcissists. It can be done not when you're under their spell, not when you're in their control. But when you are coming out of that, when you are on the other side, you can think clearly, you think like a new person and therefore you can see beyond their mask. In other words, they don't have that control. So how do you guard your piece?
Alright, here's one tool, the breathe in anchor tool, okay? This is grounding. This is feet flat on the ground, deep breath in, slower breath out, focusing on your breathing and say to yourself, this is one of my favorite phrases in the world and we're adding it with a little breath work right now because it such a joyous combo. Alright? You've probably heard it if you haven't, write it down. Not my circus, not my monkeys. They are not your circus. It's not your monkeys, it's not your drama, right? Oh, disconnect yourself from it. Breathing. You could do halo breaths in through the nose, out through the mouth. You can repeat this over and over to empower you more and more. Not my circus, not my monkeys. Alright? Number two, tech boundaries. You can mute your notifications if you can't block them or don't want to. For whatever reason.
You can use the do not disturb mode and remind yourself just because they message, I want you to hear this, all of you in the back. Just because they message does not mean you must answer. It doesn't. There isn't urgency unless there is a life situation or your child needs to be picked up immediately. Something like that. Other than that, pause that mofo, mute it, look at it, put it in a drawer. Go take a breather. Go anchor your feet down and scream about circus and monkeys. Alright, number three, energetic boundaries. Let's picture a lovely crown of light on your head. Maybe it could, I don't know, look like a golden crown. Okay? Protecting your mind from their words. So really, if you can't visualize, just think it. I know some of you aren't visual, I'm very visual, so it's hard for me to relate to that part.
But however you are able to create something in your mind, think of it as there is a protection there. There's a barrier. And if you are visual, imagine it being a golden crown, golden light, whatever around your head, full of peace, protecting from their bullshit and visualize or think of their chaos bouncing off that energy field, bouncing off the clickety clank of your crown. Okay? Yeah, those energetic boundaries. And four, permission to rest. You do not need to defend your peace to anybody, okay? You don't need to defend it to anyone. You don't need to explain it. You don't need to have a second thought about it. You deserve to have peace. That's it. That's your right. It is your right to have peace. Even if you've had chaos your whole damn life or your whole damn relationship with this person, it's time that ends.
You want peace, you got it. And guarding your peace, it's not selfish. They're going to guilt trip you. They're going to make all the reasons, either it's hurt them or it's hurt someone else, right? Oh, you're different and oh, no one likes you. Now who knows? They say it all. It is survival for you. I give you full permission for you to rest. Rest your mind, rest your body. Protect yourself. Okay? So your peace is power. And maybe you're not used to having that power or maybe you're starting to feel it come back, but that's the proof that you're healing, that you're breaking free, that their grip, their terror grip is gone. And that's exactly why narcissists hate it and exactly why you must guard it. Okay, let's say that again. It's exactly why narcissists hate it, which is exactly why you must guard it.
Okay? So if you want more tools like this, if you have not gotten my boundaries pocket guide, that's always linked in my show notes, goodbye Gil Boundaries, okay? And if you want to go deeper, if you really want transformation, and my schedule, I will tell you guys is blowing up right now. So if you want to get in, act quickly, click the link and we will have our first one-on-one session. So I either do it where we have one, one-on-one, which will be two further, basically like an intake session. It's an hour and a half kind of deep dive. And then we'll go into whatever program you want to sign up for. And there is the monthly program, there's the three month program. If you already know you want one of those, you can just sign up directly for that and we can use your first session as an intake. So basically you get a little discount because we'll go extra on your first one hour session. We'll go longer than that since you're signing up ahead of time for a month or three months, one month at a time. It's great if you're tiptoeing in and you're like, yeah, I know I want to transform. I know I'm ready to do this work, but you're just like a little, huh, three months, that's like you are going to be unrecognizable in three months in a good way.
You are at the F this, I'm over this, I'm done feeling like this and I need peace. I want to feel that peace because we can listen to all this stuff and we can definitely use some of these tools ourselves. But having someone holding you accountable that you're checking in with every week and customized to your situation is a lot different. You're going to get deeper transformation. We do somatic healing, and I should have mentioned that at the beginning. We do somatic healing. It's not just the advice, it's taking the body healing as well. So you're getting the advice on your specific situation. And then we're using somatic tools to make that lasting change that goes beyond mindset. That can sometimes slip back when you are changing your bodies, actual what it remembers and changing that and turning the wiring around, creating new stories, creating more confidence, creating self-trust through the body.
That's when big shit happens. That's when you wear the double crowns. So if you're interested in that, the links again are always on my show notes. If you have any questions, my email's there too. You can be like, Christie, I don't know what to do. Or you want to know, what do you mean by somatic healing? I've talked about it here, but if you want me to lay anything out in an email for you, email me or go sign up and let's do it. Alright? And we have fun. I mean this is healing work, but it can also be hella fun and hella empowering, right? It's me you're working with. Yeah, you can do all the work you want, but you haven't done it with Christie. Alright, so that's it. A little longer than oh, 12 minutes. Not too bad. I felt like I was blabbing a little bit at the end there, but another episode, there it is, 12 minutes.
Don't forget, Thursdays are thrive in five. So make sure you're following my podcast. So you get notifications that, hey, the gang's all here and we're going to sing about narcissism. Narcissism. I can't sing talk right now. So yes, definitely. Please also share this with anyone that is going through this that so I can help more people. And speaking of helping more people, I might do a separate episode just to quickly blurb this, you guys, I really could use your help. I could use your help helping more women. And it takes you literally 30 seconds. You just go down, scroll down to if you're on Apple, scroll all the way down on my main show page and there is the review section. You click five stars, you write, Christie is amazing, I love her golden crown, she's the bomb. Say whatever you want to say. Hopefully nice things.
Click submit. You are done. And that helps my algorithm reach more women so you essentially can help more women in your situation. So help me them, help everybody. So glad you found me. Are you glad you found me? You're sitting here listening, so I guess so. So imagine if you can help get more women to get help and get answers in their life when they're struggling. So I'd appreciate that so much. And that's about it. Thrive in five on Thursday. I think I kind of a ddd on that. Thrive in five on Thursdays is basically in five or so minutes. Usually a somatic experience of breath work or visualization meditation, a little pep talk, whatever it is related to Tuesdays episodes. So it's a little complimentary episode that's quick and I know a lot of you're loving them. I've gotten a lot of comments recently that you save those and you go back to them and they're just so digestible when you might not have the time for a full episode. So yeah, it enjoy my free Facebook group because damn Gina, why not? It's going to be full of other lovely ladies like you. And I do some funny memes, I do some videos, I always put my podcast episodes. I post 'em up there and I might try to start doing some group like lives in there where we can chat. So check that out and I'll see you in the next one. Bye.
