In this powerful episode, I’m joined by Russell Tellup, a brave and deeply reflective man who opens up about the childhood abuse that shaped every corner of his life. From a young age, Russell was made to feel like the problem. Unseen. Unheard. Unloved. His sense of worth was crushed before it had a chance to form, leaving him to carry the unbearable belief that he didn’t matter.As we talk, Russell shares how those early wounds followed him into adulthood, leading him into relationships with narcissistic partners who mirrored the same emotional neglect and manipulation he experienced as a child. What unfolds in this conversation is raw and real. There are moments of deep sadness. There’s anger. And there’s a profound sense of clarity as he begins to piece together the lifelong pattern of trauma that kept him stuck as he now helps other men in this position.This is not just a story of pain, it’s a story of awakening. Russell’s courage to speak his truth is what transforms it. And in his vulnerability, you’ll find extraordinary strength.So often, we don’t hear the stories of men who’ve endured narcissistic abuse. But it happens. And it matters. Russell’s voice cuts through the silence and reminds us that abuse doesn’t discriminate, it just hides where shame lives.If you’ve ever felt like the black sheep, like you were never enough, or like you kept attracting the same kind of pain, you are not alone. This conversation will stay with you. Russell’s story is a reminder that even in the darkest places, there is the possibility of healing, and there is always power in finally being heard.If you need to get in touch with Russell, he has a private Facebook community for men: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1AYsbsh7uw/Don’t ever be alone in your journey and make sure you come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control:https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruisesDisclaimer:The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available

This is not the kind of story that wraps up neatly with a bow. Rebecca Fraser’s story is raw, messy, and unfinished because healing after deep betrayal, family fracture, and years of abusive relationships with narcissists is never clean or simple. It’s the kind of survival story that digs into the parts most people don’t want to talk about, the shame, the loneliness, the repeated heartbreak, and the unbearable weight of carrying trauma in your body for years.In this episode, Rebecca shares her lived experience of growing up in a home torn apart by infidelity and addiction, being cast as the “problem child,” shuffled into foster care as a teenager, and entering a series of romantic relationships that only deepened her wounds. Alongside this emotional pain, she has been fighting a long battle with Lyme disease, a battle she believes was intensified by the unrelenting stress and trauma she endured.We explore the nervous system scars left by betrayal trauma, the painful roles children are assigned within dysfunctional families, and the long-term impact of being repeatedly gaslit, invalidated, and silenced not just by partners, but by family and community. Rebecca speaks openly about the heartbreak of losing friendships, the feeling of being “too much” for others, and the internal struggle of not trusting herself to choose safe people anymore. Don’t ever be alone in your journey and make sure you come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control:https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises.

Disclaimer:

The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.

This isn’t a soft, polished survivor story, this is the raw, unfiltered truth of Dani Brooks, who has survived decades of narcissistic abuse, coercive control, sexual trauma, and being abandoned by the very systems meant to help.

In this episode, Dani pulls back the curtain on what it really takes to survive when trauma runs so deep it touches every part of your identity and what happens when, even after hitting rock bottom, you are forced to find your own way to heal while carrying the weight of leading others to safety.

If you’ve ever been gaslit, crushed by shame, or left screaming into a void for help that never came this one is for you.We’re here to lift the shame, break the silence, and expose the fierce, messy, painful truth of reclaiming yourself after narcissistic abuse.

Don’t ever be alone in your journey and make sure you come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises.

Disclaimer:

The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.

In today’s episode, I sit down with Radka Crossley, an incredibly courageous woman whose story will stay with you long after the episode ends. Radka spent 18 years in an abusive marriage to a narcissist, but the roots of her pain began long before that. Raised by an alcoholic mother and an emotionally unavailable father, her nervous system was wired for survival from a very young age.Together, we explore how her early childhood environment shaped the parts of her that tolerated abuse, ignored red flags, and questioned her own worth. This episode is a powerful exploration of inner child wounding, attachment trauma, and how patterns of neglect and addiction in our upbringing can set the stage for toxic, coercive relationships later in life.Radka’s story is heartbreaking, raw, and full of insight but it’s also a story of resilience. You’ll hear how she began to slowly find her way back to herself, reclaiming her voice, and starting to understand that none of it was ever her fault.This one is especially for you if you’ve ever wondered,Why did I stay so long?Why do I keep attracting unavailable people?Why does this feel so familiar, even when it hurts?Radka’s story lifts the lid on the shame so many survivors carry and together, we bring compassion to the parts of her still holding the pain. This conversation will help you feel less alone and more seen in your own healing journey.Don’t ever be alone in your healing.Come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises, where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse, and coercive control:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises

Disclaimer:The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.

In today’s episode, I interview Mandy Metters, a recovered cocaine addict. You’ll hear her story of resilience, strength and shame that because of her abuse, she turned to drugs to numb out the pain of feeling worthless. She grew up with a narcissistic, alcoholic father and was diagnosed with bi polar. Or was this all because of trauma? Mandy’s courage and resilience shine through alongside the pain of the shame. You will see us examine those shame parts of her and the emotions still trapped in her body due to the trauma of experiencing narcissistic abuse. This one is definitely for you if you took a substance to numb out your pain and we lift that shame and celebrate the beauty of a nervous system trying to protect you. 

Don’t ever be alone in your journey and make sure you come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.

In our 2nd episode of my rebranded podcast, No Visible Bruises sharing real survivor stories of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control, I sit down with Sandra Dec. I knew this would be a raw yet familiar conversation about narcissistic abuse. But very quickly, her story unfolded into something far more complex, a web of betrayal, cheating, hidden pasts, and shocking truths that could rival any Netflix drama.

What began as love was built on lies- bigamy, secret families, manipulation, and the slow erosion of self-worth. But Sandra’s story is not just about what happened to her. It’s about how she survived… and how she healed.

In this episode, we explore how trauma lives in the body and how reconnecting with physical awareness and grounding practices can help you heal. We unpack the patterns of deception and narcissistic abuse that creep in over time, often rooted in childhood wounds and shaped by familiar dynamics from narcissistic parenting.

We talk about emotional and financial abuse, the invisible kind, the slow self-sacrifice, the erosion of identity, the subtle control that doesn’t leave bruises. We go deep into the confusing experience of reactive abuse and self-blame, where victims are left doubting themselves more than their abuser.

And we explore why leaving isn’t as simple as walking away and how survival responses, fear, physiology, and a longing for love can keep people stuck in places they know are breaking them.

But this is also a story of rising. Of breaking generational cycles. Of embracing the shadow self and finding safety in truth, self-love, and the courage to reclaim identity.

This episode is for anyone who has ever doubted their reality. Who’s ever stayed too long. Who has ever been cheated on. Who’s learning to trust themselves again.

Sandra’s story will stay with you, not just because of the twists and turns, but because of her strength, her honesty, and the light she now shines for others.

So take a deep breath, and press play. This one is powerful.

Don’t ever be alone in your journey and make sure you come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control

https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises

.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.

Today marks the launch of our rebranded podcast, No Visible Bruises sharing real survivor stories of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control, and the long-lasting physiological impact of trauma not just the psychological.

In our very first episode, we sit down with Kirstie Haysman, who bravely shares her experience of narcissistic abuse and how it intertwines with her diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis.

This conversation is one not to miss.

We explore: • How chronic conditions like arthritis, fibromyalgia, IBS and others can be linked to the trauma of relational abuse • What happens in the body when we are exposed to long-term stress and emotional abuse • How healing is possible when we understand the connection between the nervous system and our physical health • The importance of working with the body, not against it

If you’ve ever wondered whether your chronic symptoms could be connected to your past and present experiences of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse & coercive control… If you’ve ever felt unseen in your pain… If you’ve ever questioned the invisible impact of emotional abuse…

This episode is for you.

Listen now, share with someone who needs it, and join us in shining a light on what’s been hidden for far too long.

Do not suffer alone and come and join my private FREE Facebook group - No Visible Bruises- Narcissistic Abuse, Domestic Abuse & Coercive Control https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises. Disclaimer: The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.

Can you imagine the hidden wounds left by a narcissist's mind games? My journey shows how abuse hurts more than just the heart. As a survivor of narcissistic abuse you often feel stuck, thinking your pain defines you, but real strength comes from understanding how trauma lives in the body. 

By learning new ways to heal, like body-based therapy and nervous system support, people can rebuild their lives. The path from hurt to healing isn't quick, but it's about taking small, kind steps forward. Each victory whether earning your own money, finding a new career, or feeling stronger inside proves how tough you can be. 

As a survivor you aren't trapped by what happened to you, but powered by your courage to create a new story and turn deep pain into real hope and growth.

0:00 Final Week of Trauma and Narcissism Redefined Podcast

2:41 Introduction to the New Facebook Community

5:39 Personal Story and Struggles

12:04 Journey to Financial Independence

14:42 Final Thoughts and Future Plans

Podcast Resources:

• Join my new community: No Visible Bruises - Survivor Stories of Narcissistic Abuse, Domestic Abuse & Coercive Control https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises

• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse

• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/

• Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson

• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Do you know the invisible weight of transactional love?

As someone who has walked through the emotional minefield, I understand how every interaction becomes a calculated performance. 

The narcissist conditions you to believe your worth is transactional and you constantly have to prove your value through endless giving, pleasing, and sacrificing. Your authentic self disappears and is replaced by a version carefully crafted to avoid criticism and earn microscopic fragments of affection. Each day becomes an exhausting dance of walking on eggshells, anticipating their next emotional manipulation. The trauma leaves invisible scars, making you question your own reality, your own memories. But healing is possible. 

Recognising that your worth isn't determined by their validation is the first powerful step towards reclaiming your identity. You are valuable simply by existing, not by how perfectly you serve someone else's toxic narrative. Your survival is your strength.

0:00 Intro  

2:13 The Future of the Podcast  

3:37 Transactional Love and Personal Experiences  

9:01 Impact of Transactional Love on Children  

12:30 Challenges and Solutions for Parents and Survivors  

15:12 Conclusion

Podcast Resources:

• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse

• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/

• Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson

• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself, are they really a narcissist? The complexities of narcissistic relationships can be overwhelming, leaving you questioning your own sanity. However, it's crucial to understand that the word "narcissist" is merely a label, not a definition of your worth.

The spectrum of narcissism is vast, with varying behaviors and traits that can make it challenging to pinpoint. Remember, no true narcissist would ever question their own narcissistic tendencies. If you find yourself pondering this, it's a sign that you're not the problem.

Instead, focus on your healing journey, as the path to recovery is not an easy one. Seek support, explore your emotions, and reclaim your voice. Your well-being is paramount, and with the right guidance, you can break free from the cycle of narcissistic abuse.

0:00 Introduction and Podcast Rebrand  

1:14 Upcoming Episodes and Guest Interviews  

2:48 Identifying Narcissists and the Narcissism Spectrum  

4:44 Impact of Narcissistic Relationships on Victims  

7:41 Physiological and Emotional Effects of Narcissistic Abuse  

11:36 The Abuse Cycle and Trauma Bond  

13:09 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Quiz link https://m.me/carolinestrawson?ref=podcast

Podcast Resources:

• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse

• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/

• Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson

• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/