The Covert Narcissism Podcast

By Renee Swanson, Bleav

Covert narcissistic abuse crushes one’s soul. This podcast is devoted to understanding covert narcissistic abuse, its effect on the victims, and how to heal.... more

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The podcast currently has 484 episodes available.

Best of The Covert Narcissism Podcast

The most played episodes among Podcast App listeners.

Number 1: Covert Narcissism and Fight or Flight: 8 Tools for Lowering Your Baseline (Part 2)
Covert narcissism doesn't just create crisis moments — it leaves your nervous system stuck in a chronic state of hypervigilance long after the argument ends. You can get good at managing the spike, catching yourself mid-reaction, and still lie awake at night with your jaw clenched and your shoulders up around your ears for no reason at all. In this episode on narcissistic abuse recovery, Renee explains allostatic load — what happens when a nervous system adapts to years of walking on eggshells, gaslighting, and unpredictable moods in a covert narcissistic relationship, and never fully comes back down. She breaks down what chronic hypervigilance actually looks like from the inside, what it does to the body physically, and introduces eight new tools for lowering your baseline over time: Worry Spot, Villain Voice, Letter to Future You, The Doorway Reset, The Off-Duty Ritual, Compliment Jar, The Do-Nothing Timer, and The Petty Playlist. This is part two of a two-part series on covert narcissism and fight or flight. If you haven't heard part one, start there for eight in-the-moment crisis tools built for the spike itself. If you've been listening, learning, and starting to see the patterns of narcissistic abuse in your relationship — but still feel stuck in the same cycles of emotional dysregulation and self-doubt — that's not because you're missing information. It's because this isn't something you're meant to untangle alone. If you're ready to take the next step toward healing, I invite you to check out my coaching program at www.covertnarcissism.com. And if this episode helped, please subscribe so you don't miss what's next. The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and is not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or support a claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
August 23, 202629min
Number 2: Covert Narcissism The Types Keep Shifting (Same Episode, New Eyes)
What if the episode you already listened to still has more to teach you the second time around? In this throwback episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, Renee revisits one of the most-requested episodes in the show's history — the original breakdown of the six types of narcissism: grandiose, vulnerable, malignant, communal, somatic, and cerebral. Instead of just replaying it, she reads back her own words from a year and a half ago and reframes them with everything she's learned since, including sharper insight into how covert narcissism shows up differently across each type, and what those patterns actually cost the people living with them. In this episode, you'll learn: Why covert narcissism isn't its own category, and why that reframe changes how you spot it How grandiose, vulnerable, malignant, communal, somatic, and cerebral narcissism each show up overtly versus covertly Real examples of covert narcissistic behavior — guilt-tripping, gaslighting, backhanded compliments, and fishing for validation Why understanding the pattern doesn't mean you're obligated to stay and manage it If you missed the initial episode, here it is - Unmasking Narcissism If you've ever felt like you understand narcissistic behavior but something still isn't fully clicking, this one's for you — sometimes the same words hit differently the second time around. Ready for support applying what you're learning? Explore coaching at www.covertnarcissism.com. This episode is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional diagnosis or clinical care. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
August 27, 202629min
Number 3: Narcissist or Not? Decoding Red Flags in Dating Apps & Texts (with Dr. Jenny Young)
Ever ignored a gut feeling on a date because you wanted to "give him a chance"? In this episode, I'm sharing a conversation from Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse — host Dr. Kerry McAvoy sits down with Dr. Jennie Young, a PhD linguist and creator of the viral Burned Haystack Dating Method, to break down how the words men use in dating profiles and early text messages expose who they really are before you've ever met in person. Dr. Young holds a PhD in rhetoric and discourse studies, specializing in critical discourse analysis — the study of how language reveals what people don't want you to know. In this episode, she shows you how to spot manipulation, love-bombing, and red flags in dating apps and texting before you invest your time and heart. If you're rebuilding trust in your own instincts and want practical tools for reading between the lines in online dating, this episode is for you. Guest: Dr. Jennie Young, author of Burn the Haystack: Decode Dating, Torch the Duds, and Make Room for Men Who Matter — Instagram: @word_case_scenario Originally aired on: Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse, hosted by Dr. Kerry McAvoy (kerrymcavoyphd.com) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
August 20, 202638min
Number 4: Passive-Aggressive Isn't Always Narcissistic — But It's Never Harmless
Ever asked someone "are you okay?" and gotten a four-syllable "I'm fine" that clearly meant the opposite? That's passive-aggressive behavior — and it's one of the sneakiest patterns to name out loud, because it's built to be deniable. In this episode, we break down the real signs of passive-aggressive behavior across relationships, family, friendships, and work — with specific examples you'll recognize immediately. Then we tackle the question listeners ask constantly: is all passive-aggressive behavior narcissistic? The honest answer is no. Some people are passive-aggressive because they're genuinely afraid of conflict, not because they're trying to manipulate you. But fear-based or not, passive aggression still blocks the thing every real relationship needs — open, honest conversation. We'll walk through how to tell a scared communicator from a controlling one, and what to do either way. What you'll learn: how to spot passive-aggressive behavior in real time, the difference between fear-based and narcissistic passive aggression, and why "they're not a narcissist" doesn't mean you have to live with the silent treatment. If you've been listening, learning, and starting to see the patterns — but still feel stuck in the same cycles — that's not because you're missing information. It's because this isn't something you're meant to untangle alone. There's a point where understanding is not enough, and you need support in actually moving through it. If you're there, I invite you to work with me. Your story matters, and you deserve to be heard without judgment. If you're ready to take the next step toward healing, check out my coaching services at www.covertnarcissism.com. I am here and ready to help. And don't forget to subscribe for more empowering episodes like this one. The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. I share stories from my personal experience as well as from those I've talked with over several years. This material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or claim that any specific person is a narcissist. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
August 30, 202627min
Number 5: Covert Narcissism and Fight or Flight: 8 Tools to Break the Spiral (Part 1)
If you've ever felt your chest tighten before your phone even finishes ringing, or braced for a reaction before you've said a single word — you already know what fight or flight feels like in a covert narcissistic relationship. It's rarely one dramatic moment. It's the accumulation: a grocery store phone call, an ordinary dinner plan, a night class — small moments that train your nervous system to expect danger from everyday life. In this episode, part one of a two-part series on fight or flight and narcissistic abuse recovery, Renee breaks down what's actually happening in your body during a fight or flight response, why hypervigilance develops after covert narcissistic abuse, and how this response can show up as fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Then she walks through eight in-the-moment tools you can reach for the next time your body starts to spiral — including the Curiosity Tool, the Match & Release technique, and six additional grounding and nervous system regulation strategies for moments when you need something quieter, faster, or less visible. This episode focuses entirely on crisis management — what to do right now, in the moment. Part two will cover prevention: the daily practices that lower your baseline over time so these moments happen less often, and hit softer when they do. To revisit a previous episode that breaks down the 4 F's of the fight/flight response, check out Why Your Fight or Flight Response Turned Into Fawning If you've been listening, learning, and starting to see the patterns in your relationship — but still feel stuck in the same cycles — that's not because you're missing information. It's because this isn't something you're meant to untangle alone. If you're ready to take the next step toward healing, I invite you to check out my coaching program at covertnarcissism.com. And if this episode helped, please subscribe so you don't miss part two next week. The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and is not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or support a claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
August 16, 202631min