Perfect Prey: A Coercive Control Podcast

In this episode of Perfect Prey, Dr. Christine is joined by Kitty Mayo, child advocate and founder of Georgia Protective Parents, for an important conversation about reunification camps, family court, coercive control, and the experiences of protective parents.

Kitty shares her family’s experience with the family court system and how her children were ordered into a reunification program following allegations of abuse. She describes what happened during that process and why she believes these programs can be deeply harmful to children and families.

Kitty also discusses her advocacy work with Georgia Protective Parents, a nonprofit focused on child safety and legislation affecting children and protective parents. The organization works across political lines and advocates for legislation it believes protects children.

Together, Dr. Christine and Kitty explore what reunification programs can look like in practice, the importance of attachment, the use of isolation and coercion, and the lack of transparency and regulation that Kitty says exists within some of these programs.

What We Cover

• Kitty’s family court experience
• Reunification camps and “repair” therapy
• The impact of separation on children and attachment
• Allegations of abuse and retaliation
• Isolation, intimidation, and coercion
• The experiences of protective parents
• The lack of transparency and regulation surrounding some programs
• The financial costs associated with reunification programs
• Ethan’s Law and efforts to strengthen protections for children
• Grassroots advocacy and contacting legislators
• The importance of speaking up and creating systemic change

Why This Conversation Matters

For protective parents and survivors navigating family court, understanding how reunification programs operate and how children experience these interventions can be incredibly important.

Kitty’s story also highlights how advocacy can move beyond individual cases. Through Georgia Protective Parents, she is working with other advocates to raise awareness, support child-safety legislation, and encourage protective parents to use their voices.

As Dr. Christine and Kitty discuss throughout the episode, advocacy does not always mean being publicly visible. Sometimes it can be as simple as writing an email, contacting a representative, or sharing your story.

About Kitty Mayo

Kitty Mayo is a child advocate and founder of Georgia Protective Parents, a nonprofit organization advocating for legislation and policies focused on child safety. The organization works with both mothers and fathers and describes itself as bipartisan, with a focus on supporting legislation based on its impact on children rather than political party.

Connect with Georgia Protective Parents

Georgia Protective Parents:
Instagram & Facebook: Search Georgia Protective Parents

Connect with Dr. Christine Cocchiola

Protective Parenting Program:
Protective Parenting Program

Website:
Coercive Control Consulting

YouTube:
Dr. Christine Cocchiola on YouTube

TikTok:
Dr. Christine Cocchiola on TikTok

Instagram:
Dr. Christine Cocchiola on Instagram

TEDx:
Dr. Christine Cocchiola’s TEDx Talk

Books:
FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld
Every Moment of Every Day

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs to hear this conversation.

— Dr. Christine Cocchiola & Kitty Mayo 🩵

In this episode of Perfect Prey, Dr. Christine is joined by Hope Hooton, child safety advocate and mother, for a deeply important conversation about coercive control, domestic violence, family court, and the urgent need to prioritize child safety.

Hope shares the heartbreaking story of her children, Alec and Lydia, and the devastating circumstances surrounding their deaths. She discusses the coercive control, domestic violence, and mental health concerns involved, as well as the warning signs and risk factors that she believes were not adequately recognized by the systems responsible for protecting her children.

The conversation also explores how temporary custody decisions can have life-altering consequences when courts fail to fully examine allegations of domestic violence and coercive control. Hope explains what happened in her case and how her experience has shaped the advocacy work she does today.

Rather than allowing her grief to be the end of Alec and Lydia’s story, Hope has turned it into a mission to help protect other children and families. She discusses the Alec and Lydia Act, her work with other protective and bereaved mothers, and the changes she believes are necessary to make child safety a true priority in family court.

What We Cover

• Hope’s story and the loss of Alec and Lydia
• Coercive control and domestic violence
• Warning signs and lethality risks in custody cases
• The role of mental illness, psychosis, and perpetrator behavior
• Family court failures and temporary custody orders
• Why protective parents’ concerns can be minimized
• The importance of recognizing patterns rather than isolated incidents
• The Alec and Lydia Act and its focus on child safety
• Hope’s advocacy and work alongside other mothers
• Turning grief into meaningful systemic change

Why This Conversation Matters

Child safety should always be at the center of custody decisions. Hope’s experience raises important questions about how family courts assess risk, how coercive control is recognized, and what happens when serious concerns raised by protective parents are dismissed or minimized.

This conversation is for survivors, protective parents, advocates, attorneys, clinicians, and anyone working toward safer outcomes for children navigating family court.

About Hope Hooton

Hope Hooton is a child safety advocate and mother dedicated to protecting children and advocating for family court reform. Following the deaths of her children, Alec and Lydia, Hope has devoted herself to educating others, supporting fellow mothers, and working toward legislation that strengthens protections for children and holds systems accountable.

Connect with Hope Hooton

📖 Book: Hope Hooton’s Book on Amazon

🎙️ Podcast — Voices Against Filicide: Listen on Apple Podcasts

🌐 Linktree: Hope Hooton’s Linktree

▶️ YouTube: Hope Hooton on YouTube

📸 Instagram: Hope Hooton on Instagram

📘 Facebook: Hope Hooton on Facebook

🎵 TikTok: Hope Hooton on TikTok

Connect with Dr. Christine Cocchiola

Protective Parenting Program: Protective Parenting Program

Website: Coercive Control Consulting

YouTube: Dr. Christine Cocchiola on YouTube

TikTok: Dr. Christine Cocchiola on TikTok

Instagram: Dr. Christine Cocchiola on Instagram

TEDx: Dr. Christine Cocchiola’s TEDx Talk

Books: FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld | Every Moment of Every Day

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs to hear this conversation.

— Dr. Christine Cocchiola & Hope Hooton 🩵

In this episode of Perfect Prey, I’m joined by award-winning journalist and author Jess Hill for an important conversation about coercive control, domestic abuse, victim-survivors, children, and post-separation abuse.

We explore what coercive control looks like, why it can be difficult to recognize, and how perpetrators maintain power through psychological, emotional, financial, and other forms of abuse. We also discuss how abuse can continue after separation through stalking, harassment, legal systems, and family court.

Jess and I examine the impact on children, the importance of recognizing coercive control when assessing risk, and her work toward criminalizing coercive control in Australia—while emphasizing that legal reform is only one part of creating meaningful change for victim-survivors.

What we cover

• What coercive control actually is—and why it is often misunderstood

• How coercive control can be difficult to recognize while you are experiencing it

• The psychological and emotional impact of living under coercive control

• Why leaving an abusive relationship does not necessarily mean the abuse ends

• Post-separation abuse, stalking, harassment, and continued control

• How children experience and are affected by coercive control

• The ways children can become part of an abusive dynamic

• Family court and the challenges faced by victim-survivors navigating legal systems

• Why understanding patterns of behavior matters when assessing risk

• The importance of listening to victim-survivors and taking coercive control seriously

• Jess’s work toward criminalizing coercive control in Australia

• Law reform, prevention, and creating meaningful systemic change

Why listen

Coercive control is often misunderstood because it does not always look like what people expect abuse to look like. There may be no single incident that explains what is happening. Instead, control can develop through patterns of behavior that gradually restrict a person’s autonomy, freedom, relationships, and sense of self.

This conversation is also about what happens after a victim-survivor leaves. Separation can become another stage of control, particularly when perpetrators use legal systems, children, stalking, or other mechanisms to maintain power.

For survivors, protective parents, clinicians, attorneys, advocates, researchers, and anyone trying to better understand coercive control, this episode offers an important conversation about recognizing patterns, understanding risk, and creating systems that better protect victims and children.

Guest bio

Jess Hill is an award-winning Australian journalist and author focused on domestic abuse, coercive control, and gender-based violence. She is the author of See What You Made Me Do, a groundbreaking examination of domestic abuse and coercive control. Through her journalism, research, and advocacy, Jess has helped shape conversations around domestic violence, prevention, and law reform in Australia. 

Connect with Jess Hill:

Instagram: @jessicahelenhill

Website: www.jesshill.com.au

Book: See What You Made Me Do available on Amazon

Podcast: www.vwt.org.au/thetrap

Connect with Dr. Christine:

Protective Parenting Program: Protective Parenting Program

Official site: www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com

YouTube: www.

TikTok: @dr.c_coercivecontrol

Instagram: www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol

TEDxTalk: https://youtu.be/gp2qByKOue4?si=jJpjpRewxHD9JdYg

Books:

FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld

Every Moment of Every Day

Available on Amazon.

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it, subscribe for more trauma-informed conversations, and consider leaving a review. Your support helps other survivors and protective parents find information, validation, and community.

— Dr. Christine Cocchiola & guest Jess Hill 

Description

In this episode of Perfect Prey, I’m joined by Jayden Posen, a survivor and advocate who shares her powerful story of coercive control, grooming, sexual violence, trafficking, and systemic failure.

Jayden discusses how abuse can begin through manipulation and trust, how perpetrators use psychological tactics to gain control, and what happens when survivors speak up but the systems meant to protect them fail to listen.

This conversation is a reminder of why we need to recognize grooming, understand coercive control, and take survivors seriously.

What we cover

• Jayden’s experiences of sexual violence and systemic failure beginning at age 14

• How “boys will be boys” normalizes harmful behavior and prevents accountability

• The connection between coercive control, sexual violence, and power

• How threats of self-harm can be used as a coercive control tactic

• Social media, pornography, misogyny, and the influence of online personalities

• Human trafficking, exploitation, and the vulnerabilities within nightlife environments

• Why survivors are so often asked the wrong questions

• Victim-blaming, silence, and the pressure to protect institutions and reputations

• The role of bystanders and the importance of accountability

• Why young people need better education around consent, boundaries, power, and healthy relationships

• Jayden’s work toward the Nightlife Safety and Accountability Act

Why listen

Jayden’s story is a powerful reminder that abuse does not always begin with violence. It can begin with grooming, attention, manipulation, threats, and the gradual erosion of a person’s autonomy.

This conversation also asks us to look beyond individual incidents and examine the systems, cultural messages, technology, and institutions that can allow abuse to continue.

For parents, educators, advocates, clinicians, survivors, and anyone working with young people, this episode offers an important conversation about recognizing coercive control, challenging victim-blaming, and creating environments where accountability matters.

Guest bio

Jayden Posen is a survivor, advocate, and public speaker who uses her lived experience to raise awareness about sexual violence, exploitation, attempted trafficking, coercive control, and systemic failure. After experiencing repeated harm from a young age, Jayden now speaks publicly about survivor advocacy, nightlife safety, accountability, and the need for stronger protections for vulnerable people.

She is also developing the Nightlife Safety and Accountability Act, a policy initiative focused on prevention, accountability, trafficking prevention, public safety, and protecting vulnerable people in nightlife environments.

Connect with Jayden

Instagram: @jaydenposen on Instagram

Website: JaydenPosen.info

Email: [email protected]

Learn more about Jayden’s advocacy and the Nightlife Safety and Accountability Act through her website and social media.

Connect with Dr. Christine:

Protective Parenting Program: Protective Parenting Program

Official site: Coercive Control Consulting

YouTube: Dr. Christine Cocchiola on YouTube

TikTok: Dr. Christine Cocchiola on TikTok

Instagram: Dr. Christine Cocchiola on Instagram

TEDxTalk: It is ALL Coercive Control — TEDx

Books:

Framed

Every Moment of Every Day

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it, subscribe for more trauma-informed conversations, and consider leaving a review. Your support helps other survivors and protective parents find information, validation, and community.

— Dr. Christine Cocchiola & guest Jayden Posen

In this episode of Perfect Prey, I'm joined by Richard Grannon, author of A Cult of One, psychology educator, and internationally recognized voice on narcissistic abuse recovery.

Together, we explore one of the most misunderstood questions surrounding coercive control: Why do victims stay? Richard offers a thought-provoking perspective on trauma, attachment, power, and the psychological mechanisms that keep people trapped in abusive relationships. We also discuss how these same dynamics impact children growing up in coercively controlling family systems and why healing requires far more than simply "walking away."

This conversation challenges traditional ideas about codependency, explores the concept of the "cult of one," and examines how coercive control creates an environment where victims gradually lose trust in themselves while becoming increasingly dependent on the abuser.

What we cover

•The psychology behind coercive control

•Why victims stay in abusive relationships

•The "Cult of One" concept

•Trauma bonding and attachment

•Codependency versus subjugation

•Why children align with abusive parents

•Power dynamics in coercively controlling families

•Ego resilience and recovery

•Betrayal by family court and legal systems

•Why understanding abuse is essential for healing

Why listen

Whether you're a survivor, protective parent, therapist, attorney, or advocate, this episode offers a deeper understanding of why coercive control is so difficult to recognize—and even harder to escape. Richard Grannon provides a fresh perspective on recovery while challenging long-held assumptions about abuse, trauma, and victimization.

Guest Bio

Richard Grannon is the author of A Cult of One, a psychology educator, speaker, and internationally recognized expert on narcissistic abuse recovery and complex trauma. With a background in behavioral psychology and over a decade of educating survivors worldwide, Richard helps people understand coercive control, establish healthy boundaries, and rebuild their lives after psychological abuse.

Connect with Richard Grannon

Website

https://richardgrannon.com/

YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/@RichardGrannon

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/richard.grannon/

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/RICHARDGRANNON/

X (Twitter)

https://x.com/RichardGrannon

Connect with Dr. Christine

🩵 Protective Parenting Program

https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/

Official Website

https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/

YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videos

TikTok

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrol

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/

TEDx Talk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp2qByKOue4&t=24s

Books

Framed

https://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBook

Every Moment of Every Day

https://url-shortener.me/c/EveryMomentOfEveryDay

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, share it with someone who may benefit, and leave a review. Your support helps bring trauma-informed conversations about coercive control to more survivors, professionals, and protective parents.

—

Dr. Christine Cocchiola & Richard Grannon

In this episode of Perfect Prey, I’m joined by Professor Sonja Ayeb-Karlsson, Professor of Intersectional Justice at University College London (UCL), whose research examines coercive control, legal entrapment, institutional abuse, migration, and human rights.

Together, we explore how coercive control extends beyond intimate relationships and into family court systems, why protective mothers and children often experience institutional betrayal, and how legal systems can unintentionally reinforce abuse rather than prevent it. We also discuss the Hague Convention, children's voices in family court, and why meaningful reform must begin by listening to survivors.

What we cover•Coercive control beyond intimate relationships

•Family court as a form of institutional abuse

•The Hague Convention and international custody cases

•Legal entrapment and human rights

•Why children's voices are often misunderstood

•Joan Meier's research on child abuse allegations

•The misuse of parental alienation allegations

•Why systemic reform is urgently needed

Why listenIf you're a survivor, protective parent, clinician, attorney, researcher, or advocate, this episode offers a powerful human rights perspective on coercive control and family court abuse. Professor Ayeb-Karlsson shares how research can help expose institutional failures and create meaningful change for women and children.

Guest bioProfessor Sonja Ayeb-Karlsson is Professor of Intersectional Justice at University College London (UCL). Her research focuses on legal entrapment, intersectionality, coercive control, migration, human trafficking, exploitation, and mental wellbeing.

She has published more than 100 academic works, including over 50 peer-reviewed articles, with more than 17,000 citations. Professor Ayeb-Karlsson leads the Everyday Disasters and Violences Research Group at UCL and previously served as a Senior Researcher with the United Nations University's Migration Section. She also leads the mental health and intersectionality work for the Lancet Countdown, is a core member of Hague Mothers and the Council of Europe's Network of Specialised Lawyers and NGOs Assisting Women Victims of Violence, and serves on several international editorial boards.

Connect with Professor Sonja Ayeb-KarlssonUCL Profile: https://profiles.ucl.ac.uk/87069-sonja-ayebkarlsson

Google Scholar: https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=kM8LTfkAAAAJ&hl=en

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/profayebkarlsson

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/prof-sonja-ayeb-karlsson-67692676/

Facebook ; https://www.facebook.com/profayebkarlsson/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@profayebkarlsson

Blueskyhttps://bsky.app/profile/profayebkarlsson.bsky.social

Most of Professor Sonja's research articles are available free of charge. She regularly shares free article downloads on her Instagram, including papers that cannot otherwise be made open access due to journal restrictions.

Connect with Dr. Christine🩵 Protective Parenting Program:https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/Official Website:https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videosTikTok:https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrolInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/TEDx Talk:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp2qByKOue4&t=24sBooks:Framedhttps://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBookEvery Moment of Every Dayhttps://url-shortener.me/c/EveryMomentOfEveryDayIf this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, share it with someone who may benefit, and leave a review. Your support helps more survivors, professionals, and protective parents find these conversations.

—

Dr. Christine Cocchiola & Professor Sonja Ayeb-Karlsson

In this episode of Perfect Prey, I’m joined by Jeremy Indika, child sexual abuse educator, survivor, speaker, and advocate. Jeremy shares his own experience of childhood sexual abuse and explains why understanding grooming, coercive control, and child exploitation has never been more urgent.Together, we explore how perpetrators identify vulnerable children, the similarities between child sexual predators and coercive controllers, and why abuse is so often hidden in plain sight. Jeremy explains how grooming happens both offline and online, why "stranger danger" misses the mark, and what parents can do to empower children without taking away their innocence. We also discuss the rise of online exploitation, the importance of body autonomy education, role-playing safety skills with children, and why creating confident, educated children makes them far less attractive targets for predators.This conversation is both deeply personal and incredibly practical—offering parents, caregivers, educators, and professionals the tools to better understand how abuse happens and, more importantly, how we can prevent it.What we cover•Jeremy Indika's story as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse•The connection between coercive control and child sexual abuse•The stages of grooming and how predators build trust•Why children are "perfect prey" for abusers•The dangers of online grooming, pornography, and sextortion•Why "stranger danger" is no longer enough•Body autonomy and age-appropriate abuse prevention•Teaching children confidence, boundaries, and safe disclosure•Why role-playing difficult situations helps protect children•Supporting children without creating fear•Why education—not shame—is the key to preventionWhy listenIf you're a parent, educator, clinician, advocate, or simply someone who wants to better understand how child sexual abuse happens, this episode provides practical, trauma-informed guidance that could help protect a child.Jeremy reminds us that abuse is rarely about force in the beginning—it's about grooming, trust, and manipulation. By understanding these tactics, adults can create safer environments where children are empowered to speak up and predators lose their greatest advantage.Guest BioJeremy Indika is a child sexual abuse educator, speaker, survivor, and advocate dedicated to preventing child sexual exploitation through education and awareness.Drawing from both his lived experience and years of advocacy, Jeremy works with schools, parents, law enforcement, and organizations to teach practical strategies for recognizing grooming behaviors, empowering children, and preventing abuse before it occurs. Through workshops, social media, YouTube, and his podcast, Jeremy is helping make conversations about child protection more accessible, practical, and impactful.Connect with JeremyWebsite: https://www.jeremyindika.comYouTube:    / @jeremyindika  Instagram:   / jeremyindika  TikTok:   / jeremyindika  Podcast: https://www.jeremyindika.com/podcastConnect with Dr. Christine:Protective Parenting Program: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting...Dr. C's Community: https://go.drcocchiola.com/innercircl...Official site: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting...YouTube:    / @drcocchiola-coercivecontrol  TikTok:   / dr.c_coercivecontrol  Instagram:   / dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol  TEDxTalks:    • It’s All Coercive Control | Christine Cocc...  Books:https://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBookhttps://url-shortener.me/c/EveryMomen...If this episode landed for you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it, subscribe for more trauma-informed conversations, and consider leaving a review—it helps other survivors find validation and safety.— Dr. Christine Cocchiola & Jeremy Indika

Description

In this episode of Perfect Prey, I’m joined by Ann Burgess, pioneering forensic nurse, researcher, educator, and author of Expert Witness. Ann’s groundbreaking work transformed how professionals understand trauma, victimization, sexual violence, and offender behavior. Her research has influenced criminal investigations, forensic psychology, victim advocacy, and some of the most well-known criminal cases in modern history.

Together, we explore the long-term impact of trauma, why victims are so often disbelieved, and how systems continue to fail those who come forward. Ann shares insights from decades of work studying victims, offenders, serial violence, child abuse, and the psychology of coercion and control. We also discuss institutional betrayal, trauma responses in children and adults, family court failures, pornography, grooming, and what it takes to create meaningful change within systems that were never designed to fully protect victims.

What we cover

• Ann Burgess’s pioneering work in victimology and forensic nursing

• How trauma impacts behavior across the lifespan

• Why victims are often disbelieved by systems and institutions

• Institutional betrayal and systemic failures

• Coercive control, fear, and psychological abuse

• Trauma responses in children and adolescents

• Child sexual abuse and delayed disclosure

• Family court, victim credibility, and expert testimony

• The role of pornography and grooming in abusive behavior

• The Menendez case and evolving understandings of trauma

• Why trauma-informed education is critical for professionals

• How offender thinking patterns develop and escalate

Why listen

If you are a survivor, clinician, attorney, advocate, educator, or protective parent, this episode offers a rare opportunity to hear from one of the most influential voices in trauma and victim research.

Ann Burgess’s work helped shape how we understand trauma today. Her insights illuminate why victims respond the way they do, why systems often misunderstand those responses, and why meaningful reform requires us to listen more closely to survivors’ experiences.

Guest Bio

Ann Burgess, DNSc, APRN, FAAN is an internationally recognized forensic nurse, researcher, educator, and author. She is a professor at Boston College and has spent decades studying trauma, victimization, sexual violence, serial offenders, and forensic mental health.

Ann's groundbreaking research on rape trauma syndrome helped transform the understanding of victim responses to sexual assault. She has consulted with the FBI's Behavioral Science Unit, contributed to offender profiling research, and served as an expert witness in numerous high-profile cases.

She is the author of several books, including Expert Witness, which chronicles her work at the intersection of trauma, criminal behavior, and justice.

Connect with Ann Burgess

Book: Expert Witnesshttps://www.amazon.com/stores/Ann-W.-Burgess/author/B0H13DQXPP?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_3&qid=1780604748&sr=1-3&shoppingPortalEnabled=true&ccs_id=9489809f-1ae4-4998-b8db-a0cbcc536d23

Boston College Faculty Profile: https://www.bc.edu

Connect with Dr. Christine

Protective Parenting Program: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/

Dr. C’s Community: https://go.drcocchiola.com/innercirclecommunity

Official site: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videos

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrol

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/

TEDxTalks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp2qByKOue4&t=24s

Books:

https://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBook

https://url-shortener.me/c/EveryMomentOfEveryDay

If this episode landed for you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it, subscribe for more trauma-informed conversations, and consider leaving a review — it helps other survivors find validation and safety.

— Dr. Christine Cocchiola & Ann Burgess

In this solo episode of Perfect Prey, Dr. Christine Cocchiola explores the connection between coercive control, childhood trauma, attachment, and the growing number of children being diagnosed with ADHD and other behavioral disorders.

Dr. Cocchiola challenges listeners to consider a critical question: what if many of the behaviors we label as “problematic” are actually trauma responses? What if children living within coercively controlling family systems are being misunderstood rather than truly seen?

Drawing from the work of Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, Dr. Gabor Maté, Dr. Bruce Perry, and betrayal trauma theory, this episode examines how trauma can manifest as fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses in children — and how coercive control fractures attachment, identity, safety, and regulation.

Dr. Cocchiola also discusses how predatory parents weaponize children, how attachment is intentionally disrupted, and why protective parents play such a critical role in healing and rebuilding safety for their children.

What we cover

This episode is essential listening for protective parents, clinicians, educators, advocates, and anyone trying to better understand trauma, child behavior, and coercive control.

• How trauma can mimic ADHD symptoms
• Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn trauma responses in children
• Coercive control within family systems
• How predatory parents fracture attachment intentionally
• Why dysregulated children are often misunderstood
• Attachment, authenticity, and child development
• Trauma, dissociation, and emotional regulation
• The impact of coercive control on school performance and behavior
• Why children exposed to abuse may appear oppositional or disengaged
• Protective parenting and reigniting attachment
• Broken attachment, broken safety, and “broken brain”
• How systems often pathologize traumatized children instead of protecting them

Why listen

If you are raising a child impacted by coercive control, navigating post-separation abuse, or working professionally with children and families, this episode offers a trauma-informed framework for understanding behavior through the lens of attachment and survival.

Dr. Cocchiola invites listeners to shift away from asking “What’s wrong with this child?” and instead ask: “What happened to this child?”

Connect with Dr. Christine:

Protective Parenting Program: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/

Dr. C’s Community: https://go.drcocchiola.com/innercirclecommunity

Official site: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videos

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrol

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/

TEDxTalks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp2qByKOue4&t=24s

Books:
https://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBook

https://url-shortener.me/c/EveryMomentOfEveryDay

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who may need this conversation, subscribe to Perfect Prey, and leave a review — it helps other survivors and protective parents find support and validation.

🩵

— Dr. Christine Cocchiola

In this episode of Perfect Prey, I’m honored to be joined by Judith Herman, one of the world’s foremost pioneers in trauma research and recovery.

Dr. Herman is the author of the groundbreaking books Father-Daughter Incest, Trauma and Recovery, and Truth and Repair—works that fundamentally changed how we understand trauma, complex trauma, institutional betrayal, and survivor healing.

Together, we discuss the origins of trauma theory, the women’s movement that brought survivor voices into public consciousness, the devastating lifelong impact of childhood abuse and coercive control, and why children living in unsafe family systems are so deeply affected—even when the abuse is not overtly physical.

We also explore the ACEs study, attachment, institutional failures, protective parenting, intergenerational trauma, and the critical role of safe relationships in healing.

This is an essential conversation for survivors, clinicians, advocates, educators, attorneys, judges, and anyone seeking a deeper understanding of trauma and recovery.

What we cover

• The origins of trauma and complex trauma theory

• How the women’s movement changed the understanding of abuse

• Dr. Herman’s groundbreaking work on incest and child sexual abuse

• The lifelong mental and physical health impacts of childhood trauma

• The ACEs study and adverse childhood experiences

• Coercive control, family violence, and child development

• Isolation as a tactic of abuse and coercive control

• Why children exposed to family violence are profoundly harmed

• Protective factors that help children heal from trauma

• Attachment, belonging, and the importance of safe relationships

• Institutional betrayal and why survivors must be heard

• Protective parenting and rebuilding connection with children

Why listen

If you are a survivor, protective parent, clinician, advocate, educator, researcher, or legal professional, this episode offers foundational insight into trauma, coercive control, attachment, and recovery.

Dr. Herman’s work helped shape the modern understanding of trauma and continues to guide how we think about healing, institutional accountability, and the long-term impact of childhood abuse.

Guest bio (short)

Judith Herman, MD, is a psychiatrist, researcher, professor, and internationally recognized pioneer in the study of psychological trauma. She is the author of Father-Daughter Incest, Trauma and Recovery, and Truth and Repair, groundbreaking works that transformed the understanding of trauma, complex PTSD, and survivor recovery.

About Dr. Judith Lewis Herman

• Guilford Press: https://www.guilford.com/author/Judith-Lewis-Herman?srsltid=AfmBOopF18dr2S7Z0VoukbbZiSSvNFY7XqwmoLAmoT2OykKgsoR2T4fY

• Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judith_Lewis_Herman

• Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/contributors/judith-l-herman-md

Connect with Dr. Christine:

Protective Parenting Program: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/

Official site: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videos

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrol

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/

TEDxTalks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp2qByKOue4&t=24s

Books: https://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBook

https://url-shortener.me/c/EveryMomentOfEveryDay

If this episode landed for you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it, subscribe for more trauma-informed conversations, and consider leaving a review — it helps other survivors find validation and safety.

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— Dr. Christine Cocchiola & guest Dr. Judith Herman