On today’s episode, I’m sharing an insightful conversation with Vanessa Bennett, a licensed depth psychologist and co-author of It's Not Me, It's You. Together, we delve into the complexities of codependency and relationship dynamics, exploring how societal norms shape our understanding of love and attachment. Vanessa shares her journey from advertising to therapy and how she learned to value authenticity over attachment in relationships. Plus, how triggers can be opportunities for growth and why breaking up doesn't have to be a total mess. Whether you're navigating a breakup or seeking healthier relationship patterns, I hope you find Vanessa’s tips just as valuable as I have!

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/741

"I'll start dating as soon as I lose those 10 pounds."

"I can't go to that event until I find the perfect outfit."

"I'll put myself out there when I feel more confident, more ready."

Do any of these sound familiar? That little whisper in the back of your head that seems so reasonable, almost protective?

I want you to sit with this for a moment: underneath that whisper is a belief that where you are right now, exactly as you are, is not good enough. That unless you present some flawless version of yourself to the world, you're not worthy of love, connection, or success.

This is how perfectionism sneaks its way into our relationships, and it's far more insidious than you might think. On today’s episode I’m going to give you tips to identify where you’re being a perfectionist, recognize the impact it’s having on your relationships, and take your choices back from perfectionism.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/740

I felt so lucky to record this episode! On today’s show, I had my first chance to host world-renowned fitness and nutrition expert JJ Virgin. She’s been at the top of the wellness space longer than practically anyone else, and today she’s using her expertise to teach us how to age powerfully. I always say that we don’t get to choose whether we age, but we do get to choose how we age. If you choose to age without losing your strength and ability, then this episode is for you!

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/739

Have you been going through life confused about why the people you trust always seem to let you down? Or do you avoid trusting anyone because you aren’t sure who deserves it? You might have learned disordered trust patterns from your family of origin. On today’s episode, I’m sharing some strategies for identifying patterns that don’t serve you and getting clarity on who deserves a space in the front row of your life.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/738

I'm so excited to have Tim Chantarangsu on the show to talk about life as a comedian, being one of the OG content creators (he started *before* YouTube was a thing), family, food, and being a father. 

I met Tim on the set of Counsel Culture with Nick Cannon and was immediately drawn to how insightful and humorous he was. I hope you enjoy this interview as much as I did!

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/737

Do you catch yourself saying…

I don’t want them to think…

I don’t want them to feel…

I don’t want to seem difficult…

I don’t want to hurt their feelings…

If so, this episode is for you because it’s about becoming a boundary boss without guilt. When we say, “I don’t want them to think,” or “I just wanted to be nice,” we’re self-abandoning and not setting boundaries we need to set. It’s time to change that!

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/736

I'm thrilled to welcome my close pal, Jennifer Pastiloff, back to the show to celebrate the release of her new book, Proof of Life: Let Go, Let Love, and Stop Looking for Permission to Live Your Life. It's a call to arms to stop self-abandoning and no longer wait for permission, which I think is perfect for this community. ❤️

Jen has such a unique voice and wonderful sense of humor, and in this girlfriend jam, we talk about shame loss, Jen's inspiration for the subtitle, and how she is really living what she's writing about. It's so inspiring and empowering. 

Watch to the end because she also shares a beautiful poem for those who feel like they're constantly behind. I think you'll love it! 

P.S. Jen's TEDx Talk, Nothing You Do Is Wrong: https://youtu.be/_-RlIS9JbhM?si=fU2V8AuP6CvlqzSw

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/735

Do you find yourself saying "I don't want to hurt their feelings" while completely abandoning your own needs? You think you're being nice, but you're actually training people to ignore what matters to you—because you're ignoring it first.

In this episode, I break down the hidden cost of people-pleasing and why "being nice" is often just self-abandonment dressed up as politeness. I go over the 5 core types of boundaries (physical, emotional, mental, material, and energetic) and shares exactly what healthy boundary-setting looks like in real life.

You'll learn:

• Why boundaries aren't walls—they're doors that YOU control
• How you teach people to treat you by what you allow, stop, and reinforce
• The difference between being liked and being safe
• What to do when people get mad about your boundaries
• Why the more authentic you is waiting on the other side of the limits you set

Plus, get Terri's Boundary Script Kit with scripts for all 5 types of boundaries at terricole.com/guide.

If you've spent years people-pleasing and managing other people's emotions, this episode will help you reclaim your peace and show up as your full, authentic self.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/734

Doors to Boundary Bootcamp are open! It's my 8 week Flagship Boundary Course with 8 Live Q&A Coaching Calls. To get more info and sign up got to terricole.com/bb2025

I am so excited to have dating coach and podcast host Sabrina Zohar on the show to talk about dating, relational issues, and what a secure, emotionally safe relationship looks like. 

Sabrina shares the work that she did to get out of unhealthy relational patterns, how she navigates her relationship with her narcissistic father, what her and her partner do to make each other feel safe and secure, how she sets boundaries with difficult people, and so much more. 🔥

I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did!

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/733

Do you say yes when you want to say no?

Do you do more emotional labor in nearly all of your relationships?

Are you the one everyone counts on, while no one is there for you? (Maybe you don’t even allow people to be there for you?)

If any of this sounds familiar, this episode is for you. 

I had many requests to do another episode on people-pleasing, so let’s cover how people-pleasing and self-abandonment are survival mechanisms, the cost of these behaviors to us and our relationships, and how we can slowly shift into healthier ways of relating.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/732