The Terri Cole Show

Anxiety doesn't always look like fear — sometimes it looks like control, perfectionism, people pleasing, and doing everything "right." In this episode of The Terri Cole Show, I explore the types of anxiety that often hide beneath high-functioning behaviors, codependency, and the struggle to set healthy boundaries.

I sit down with anxiety expert Noelle McWard Akino to explain how anxiety can show up as catastrophizing, control, and distorted beliefs about ourselves. We talk about why high-functioning anxiety can look like success, how overthinking keeps us stuck, and why trying to control everything may actually be a sign that we don't feel safe.

Understanding your types of anxiety can help you recognize your patterns, create healthier boundaries, and learn how to respond differently instead of being driven by fear.

If you struggle with people pleasing, perfectionism, overthinking, self-doubt, or feeling responsible for everyone and everything, this conversation will help you understand the deeper roots of anxiety and begin your emotional healing journey.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/854

Do you ever feel responsible for the feelings of others? Do you overgive and overfunction? Do you suffer from chronic indecision? If any of those things resonate, today's episode is for you. I am going to share with you five signs that your emotional boundaries need help.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/853

ADHD nervous system regulation may be the missing piece behind ADHD paralysis, overwhelm, and executive dysfunction. What if many ADHD symptoms aren't just ADHD—but signs of a nervous system stuck in fight or flight?

In this episode, I sit down with therapist and ADHD expert Jenna Free to explore a different way of understanding adult ADHD. We discuss why ADHD nervous system regulation can be more effective than relying on productivity hacks alone, how chronic fight-or-flight impacts executive functioning, and why slowing down—not pushing harder—may actually help you get more done.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/852

When you're upset with someone about something, do you:

Say nothing, but silently keep score?

Talk to other people about it?

Ice the person out?

Send them a passive-aggressive or sarcastic text?

If any of those rang a bell, you are not alone which is why in this week's episode, I'm breaking down the top 10 indicators that you might be suppressing and/or unconsciously repressing your anger.

Raising your awareness around when you might be acting out feelings of frustration or anger is the first step to expressing yourself in a healthier way. I promise you, learning these skills will improve all of your relationships, including the one you have with yourself.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/354

Conflict resolution isn't about avoiding arguments—it's about learning how to repair them. In this conversation, I explore why couples keep having the same fight, how attachment styles affect relationships, and why emotional regulation matters even more than communication when conflict arises. If you've ever wondered why arguments keep repeating or how to repair after an argument without feeling misunderstood, this episode is for you.

We discuss conflict resolution strategies for couples, childhood wounds, relationship conflict, emotional healing, and the hidden patterns that shape healthy relationships. You'll also learn why most fights aren't really about the dishes, the chores, or the words being said—they're about deeper emotional needs and unresolved core wounds.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/850

Have you ever been in an argument with someone and before the end of the argument, even though they have done something quite egregious, you find yourself apologizing?

Have you ever been in a heated exchange with someone and they straight up deny the thing you know they did? This could sound like, "What are you talking about?"; "I never said/did that."; or, "I'm worried about you."

If you are nodding your head yes, then you are in luck because in today's episode of The Terri Cole Show, this is exactly what I'm addressing. Emotional manipulation is real, people! The more you know about it, the less you will fall victim to it. I'm teaching you all about Boundary Destroyers and their tactics so you can effectively protect yourself.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/313

What happens when the father you needed never showed up?

In this episode, I sit down with filmmaker Tracie Laymon, creator of Bob Trevino Likes It, to explore how growing up with an emotionally unavailable father shaped her life, relationships, and sense of self.

We talk about the father wound, people-pleasing, self-abandonment, healing through safe relationships, and why chosen family can become part of our emotional recovery. If you've ever struggled with feeling unseen, constantly seeking approval, or wondering why healthy love feels unfamiliar, this conversation is for you.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/848

Are you confused about what it means to be codependent? Do you ever wonder what codependency looks like in practice?

If you're nodding your head yes, that's understandable. In my experience, there is often confusion around the topic of codependency, with a ton of misconceptions and a plethora of myths clouding up what it looks like in real life.

In today's episode, I'm delivering rock-solid clarity about what codependency is by showing you what it's not. Ready for some major myth-busting?! Let's go!

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/349

Are you exhausted from trying to "fix" everyone and everything in your life? In this episode, I sit down with my dear friend, yoga mentor, and author Elena Brower to discuss why letting go is the ultimate act of self-love.

We've been conditioned to think that love means fixing, controlling, or "managing" the people around us. But what if the most powerful thing you could do is simply hold space?

In this episode, Elena Brower—bestselling author of Hold Nothing: An Invitation to Let Go and Come Home to Yourself—shares her profound journey from high-functioning perfectionism to a life of presence and service.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/846

"Is she entitled? Or have you just been serving yourself up on a platter?"

My therapist asked me that years ago, while I was mid-rant about a friend who kept asking me for favors. It stopped me cold, and it changed how I understood my own patterns.

If you're the one who says "I got it" before anyone finishes asking, who anticipates everyone's needs, who lies awake wondering if you came off as selfish, this episode is for you.

It's part one of a two-part series on boundaries and high functioning codependency, and I'm breaking down why boundaries are so hard for those of us who over-give, auto-accommodate, and self-sacrifice on autopilot.

You'll learn what boundaries are made of (your preferences, desires, limits, and deal breakers), how HFC traits create disordered boundaries, and why healthy boundaries are the bridge to the relationships you want.

Ready for the scripts? Part two, with word-for-word boundary scenarios, is at terricole.com/718.

This episode is part of our Best of The Terri Cole Show summer series: the most-requested episodes of the show, back to back, while new episodes are in the works for fall.

Get the free assessment guide for this episode: terricole.com/guide Listen to part two: terricole.com/718 Find out where you stand with boundaries: boundaryquiz.com