There can be so much shame around the ways we procrastinate and self-sabotage. But these behaviors aren’t just “bad habits” — they’re actually forms of self-protection. In this episode, Sarah uncovers the hidden roles our nervous system and parts play in keeping us stuck around the things we desire most. 

You’ll learn how to work with your nervous system and parts, rather than against them, using practical somatic tools to help shift these patterns. Plus, Sarah answers listener questions on discipline, self-care, and why some of us freeze when it comes to responding to text messages, emails, and other correspondence. If you’ve ever felt stuck in a cycle of avoidance and frustration, this episode will show you why it makes so much sense.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

00:42 Self-Sabotage Is a Form of Self-Protection

03:30 Understanding the Experience of Procastination

09:10 The Habitual Process of Procastination

14:09 Why Do We Self Sabotage?

17:41 Protective Parts at Work When We Self Sabotage

19:31 How to Befriend Your Nervous System

27:53 “Why Can’t I Stay Disciplined?”

41:31 “Why Do I Feel So Much Resistance Around Self-Care?”

50:48 “Why Do I Struggle to Respond to People?”

53:53 Relationships Are About Messiness 

Join the NEW 2-Day Live Experience:

Feel overwhelmed by conflict in your relationships? Get ready for tangible, science-backed tools inside Mastering Conflict: The Art of Turning Conflict into Connection. The two-day live experience is co-hosted by Sarah and licensed marriage and family therapist, Vienna Pharoan.

Only $27 with replays available for a limited time.

bit.ly/sp-masteringconflict

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Contact Us:

Have questions? Want to let us know how you’re liking the podcast? Reach out to Sarah’s support team at [email protected]. 

Important Keywords:

Procrastination – The act of delaying or avoiding tasks, often due to underlying fears or protective mechanisms in the nervous system. Sarah explains that procrastination is not laziness but a way the body tries to keep us safe from perceived danger.

“Self-Sabotage” - This term can often feel shaming, but it is simply a way our nervous system and parts protect us from what they don’t yet know is safe, often by pushing away or leaving things we might actually deeply desire.

Autonomic Nervous System - The body’s internal network that controls responses to stimuli and regulates our experiences of safety, fear, and connection. In the context of self-sabotage, it drives automatic reactions based on past experiences stored in our internal "database."

Protective Parts - Protective parts are internal mechanisms (or versions of ourselves) developed to shield us from pain or harm, often formed during childhood. These parts use behaviors like perfectionism, overachievement, or avoidance to keep us safe from perceived threats. While they are well-intentioned, they can also keep us stuck in unhelpful patterns until their needs are addressed.

Regulation - Regulation refers to the ability to maintain or return to a state of safety, presence, and connection within the nervous system. A regulated nervous system promotes calmness, focus, and the capacity to handle life's challenges effectively. Building regulation involves consistent neural exercises and creating disconfirming experiences that show your system it’s safe to come into a state of rest.

Parts Work - A therapeutic process that involves connecting with and healing younger parts of yourself that hold onto past wounds. It’s a core tool for building internal safety and reshaping how you show up in relationships and life.

Do you struggle to know what kind of boundaries to set? Many of us are taught to intellectualize our approach to boundary setting, which can leave us feeling confused or overwhelmed. In this episode, Sarah explores the embodied nature of boundaries and why unresolved trauma can leave us setting self-protective boundaries that aren’t actually aligned with our highest truth.

You’ll learn about three styles of boundary setting — diffuse, rigid, and embodied — and how to somatically begin coming back in contact with your truth. During the Q&A with Rachel, Sarah will also tackle real-life boundary challenges in work, relationships, and beyond. If you feel caught in cycles of over-giving, reflexively saying “yes” or “no,” or sacrificing your own needs, this episode will help you understand why — and how to create boundaries that truly serve you.

Episode Highlights: 

00:00 Introduction

00:15 What Are Embodied Boundaries? 

04:46 Why We Struggle With Boundaries

09:22 Self-Protective Boundaries: Diffuse

18:01 Self-Protective Boundaries: Rigid 

25:01 Embodied Boundaries

28:33 Steps to Begin Setting Embodied Boundaries

35:17 Q&A Segment With Rachel 

35:58 “Can I Stay in a High-Pressure Work Environment?”

43:25 “How Can I Stop Over-Giving and Being Resentful?”

56:20 “Am I Going Backward in My Healing Journey?”

Take Sarah’s FREE Quiz:

Feeling stuck in any area of your life? Take Sarah’s quiz to learn more about the self-protective system inside you that’s often responsible for your stuckness—and how to harness its power to step toward the life you desire.

https://bit.ly/yms-sp-quiz

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

Embodied Boundaries –  A behavioral response that is rooted in one’s internal truth, limits, and needs. These boundaries are usually accessed when close to or in regulation and allow for deep levels of connectivity and autonomy.

Self-Protective Boundaries – When we’ve experienced trauma or our truth was chronically taken away, we learn to adapt and set self-protective boundaries. These boundaries are typically rooted in survival or a younger part that is seeking safety.

Diffuse Boundaries – An adaptive, self-protective boundary associated with the reflexive “yes” response. Think of these as “Swiss cheese” boundaries, where it is a boundary of sorts but it is permeable.

Rigid Boundaries – An adaptive, self-protective boundary associated with the reflexive “no” response. Think of these as “steel wall” boundaries, where nothing is able to permeate the boundary. 

Autonomic Nervous System: The self-protective system within the body that is responsible for our thoughts, feelings, sensations, behaviors, and perception of self, others, and the world around us, as well as regulating involuntary functions, such as your heart rate and digestion, and playing a central role in how you react to stress or calm.

What if the work you do isn’t just a paycheck but a path to alignment and fulfillment? In this episode, Sarah breaks down how our nervous system influences career choices and why so many of us end up in survival-based jobs rather than roles that truly inspire us. She explores the impact being misaligned in our work has on our nervous system, relationships, health, and overall well-being.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re meant for more, this episode will teach you how to step into a career (and life) that truly aligns with your gifts. You’ll learn how to create congruency in your current role, identify your true calling, and take tangible steps toward your desires. When you’re aligned with your purpose, it not only allows for deeper personal fulfillment — it also lights up the world around you.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

00:27 Choosing a Career or Job From Survival

06:45 Human Beings Thrive When Purposeful

08:39 Finding Your Unique Gifts

11:03 How Being Misaligned Impacts Our Relationships

13:53 How Being Misaligned Impacts Our Health

14:51 Tools For Becoming More Aligned

22:50 Changing Your Role As You Heal

25:12 Our Systems Deeply Desire Alignment

26:47 Transitioning Careers and Finding Fulfillment 

32:51 Work Environments Can Replicate Dynamics From Childhood

37:55 Why Self-Like Parts Keep Us From Our Purpose  

Download Sarah’s FREE Workbook: 

Want more science-backed tools? Download Sarah’s free workbook, “How to Gain Control Over How You Feel,” for actionable prompts and exercises to help you start feeling better on a daily basis.

https://bit.ly/yms-sp-workbook

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

Protective Parts - Protective parts are internal mechanisms (or versions of ourselves) developed to shield us from pain or harm, often formed during childhood. These parts use behaviors like perfectionism, overachievement, or avoidance to keep us safe from perceived threats. While they are well-intentioned, they can also keep us stuck in unhelpful patterns until their needs are addressed.

Nervous System Regulation – Techniques and strategies used to calm and stabilize the nervous system. Regulation helps move the body out of a fight/flight, freeze, or shut down responses and into a balanced state of presence and connection.

Internal Safety – The feeling of stability and security that comes from within, rather than external circumstances. Sarah emphasizes that without internal safety, change can feel terrifying or overwhelming for our system and parts, making it difficult to step into a fulfilling career.

“Self-Like” Parts – These protective parts often sound like adult you but are in fact a protective part that is coming online to keep us safe. This often looks like self-doubt, avoidance, hesitation, retreating, or seemingly “rational” arguments that are based in fear.

Alignment – The state of living in accordance or congruency with one’s purpose, values, and natural gifts. Sarah explains that when we are aligned with our work, it energizes us rather than drains us, creating a ripple effect of positive impact.

Disconfirming Experiences – New, positive experiences that challenge and override old self-protective beliefs. For example, if it was unsafe in the past to use our voice, any time we tolerably step toward using our voice in the present, that is a disconfirming experience, showing our nervous system the past is over and it’s now safe to speak up.

In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah dives into the complex layers of family dynamics, personal boundaries, and healing from past experiences. You'll learn how the dynamics within your family of origin created the roles you had to play, how those roles shape your adult relationships, and how to begin breaking free from those roles to step into your most fully-expressed self.

Through personal insights and therapeutic wisdom, Sarah discusses why our family of origin often triggers or activates us the most—and why we often see our caregivers as an extension of ourselves. If you’ve ever dreaded going home or struggle to set boundaries with your family, this episode will equip you with the somatic tools necessary to release the pain of the past and move forward with more ease.

Episode Highlights:

00:00 Introduction 

00:15 Why We Struggle with Our Family of Origin

12:57 Becoming the Primary Parent to Your Parts

22:45 Access Healthy Aggression 

27:41 Finding Belonging Through Chosen Family

30:58 Differentiating From Our Caregivers

37:37 Creating Safety & Setting Boundaries

49:40 Processing Recent Traumatic Experiences 

56:58 Healing From Abuse

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Join the 10-Week You Make Sense Course:

Ready to go even deeper into somatic healing? Sarah’s 10-week live course, You Make Sense, is now open for enrollment. You’ll get tangible, science-backed tools to help you step toward the relationships, purpose, and life you desire.

https://bit.ly/sp-yms

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast  

Important Keywords:

Family of Origin – The family system you were born into or raised in that shaped how you relate to others, your sense of belonging, and your identity. This dynamic then informs the way you show up in your adult life.

Boundaries – Boundaries are not a cognitive process but a somatic one that is informed by our internal truth, limits, and needs. We are all born with an innate ability to know our internal truth, but many of us become disconnected from that truth as a result of trauma. 

Somatic Healing - Somatic healing focuses on addressing trauma and stress stored in the body, rather than just the mind. It involves practices that help release trapped activation/energy, regulate the nervous system, complete the incomplete response to trauma of the past, and reconnect with the physical self. Techniques like movement, touch, and breathwork are commonly used to support this healing process.

Healthy Aggression - A term coined by Peter Levine, this is our lifeforce energy, which is needed to set boundaries, protect oneself, and assert personal needs. It’s also the energy that allows us to experience full aliveness, connection, wonder, and awe. When suppressed, it can lead to unresolved anger, resentment, and even physical symptoms, but when expressed appropriately, it helps complete past emotional responses.

If you’ve ever tossed and turned at night, wondering why you just can’t seem to get the rest you need, you’re not alone. In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah Baldwin breaks down how insomnia, struggling to stay asleep, and other sleep disorders are often deeply connected to what’s happening in your nervous system.

Sarah explains why stress, unresolved trauma, and even daily overwhelm can keep you stuck in fight-or-flight, making deep sleep and rest nearly impossible. From easy, science-backed strategies like movement and time in nature to simple bedtime routines and setting boundaries, this episode is packed with practical tools to help you experience better quality sleep.

Episode Highlight:

00:00 Intro

00:35 Why Do We Struggle with Sleep?

04:31 7 Things You Need to Achieve Deep Rest

12:36 Effects of Chronic Lack of Sleep

16:50 The Epidemic of Sleep Disorders

21:24 3 Categories of Sleep Struggles

30:02 Why Nervous System Regulation is Needed for Deep Sleep

32:57 Creating a Nighttime Routine

39:00 Finding Relief From Insomnia

43:30 Unresolved Emotions or Grief Can Impact Sleep

46:58 What To Do When You Wake Up During the Night    

48:40 Setting Boundaries Around Sleep

Join the 10-Week You Make Sense Course:

Ready to go even deeper into somatic healing? Sarah’s 10-week live course, You Make Sense, is now open for enrollment. You’ll get tangible, science-backed tools to help you step toward the relationships, purpose, and life you desire.

https://bit.ly/sp-yms

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

Nervous System Regulation – Techniques used to discharge activation and bring the nervous system back into a state of rest. Regulation helps move the body out of a fight/flight, freeze, or shut down response and into a balanced state of presence and connection.

Dysregulation – A state of active self-protection where the nervous system perceives danger. This can either be caused by a real threat based in the present moment or stem from past trauma, danger, or hardship, causing our system to superimpose a past experience onto the present.

Sympathetic Nervous System – When our system believes there is something we can do about the threat, it will send us into this mobilized state of dysregulation, often sometimes referred to as “fight or flight.” This is where we experience things like anxiety, terror, rage, panic, fear, agitation, or irritation.

Freeze State – A blended state of dysregulation experienced as tonic immobility. It is made up of equal parts mobilizing sympathetic energy and immobilizing dorsal energy, rendering us stuck. This state of dysregulation can make it difficult to fall or stay asleep..

Circadian Rhythm – The body’s internal clock that regulates sleep-wake cycles. Exposure to natural light in the morning and evening helps align this rhythm, making it easier to fall and stay asleep.

Restorative Rest – True rest that recharges the nervous system, which is different from passive activities like watching TV or scrolling on your phone. Practices like meditation, sound baths, and deep breathing help bring the body into a relaxed state before sleep.

In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah explores the profound shifts that occur as we heal—both within ourselves and in our relationships. She delves into the challenges of evolving while being in partnerships, the difficulty of letting go when growth outpaces connection, and the natural distance that can emerge between those on different healing journeys.

Sarah also answers listener questions about navigating major life transitions. From unfulfilling marriages and moving forward when a partner is unwilling to grow, to forgiveness and releasing resentment following a betrayal, these questions spark a powerful conversation about trauma, self-protection, and reclaiming life after pain.

Episode Highlights:

00:00 Introduction 

00:15 Processing Endings

03:26 Internal Safety and Connectivity

06:42 Unwritten Contracts and Change in Our Relationships

09:59 Healing Decreases Our Toleration for Suffering

12:15 Giving Ourselves the Things We Never Got

13:21 Healing Invites Space for Change

18:58 Meeting New Parts of Ourselves

28:14 Leaving A Stagnant Relationship

32:13 Navigating Betrayal and Resentment

36:41 Forgiveness and Resolving Past Trauma

Join Sarah’s Email Community:

Want more somatic tools straight to your inbox? Click below to join Sarah’s email community for weekly teachings and additional resources.

https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Connect with Sarah on:

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

Resentment – Resentment often signals unmet needs or unprocessed emotions. Nervous system regulation helps in addressing these feelings by discharging the underlying dysregulation.

Forgiveness – True forgiveness can only happen when a person has processed the appropriate response and emotions related to their trauma, by accessing what’s called healthy aggression.

Relational Shifts in Healing – As healing progresses, people may feel disconnected from past relationships, social circles, or roles. This is a natural part of transformation, signaling new growth and self-awareness.

Somatic Experiencing – Created by Dr. Peter Levine, this therapeutic modality uses body awareness, movement, and nervous system regulation to release and resolve stored trauma. By building capacity to be in our embodied experience, we can teach our nervous system how to pendulate, resulting in the discharge of stored trauma and overall regulation of the nervous system.

There can be a lot of talk around forgiveness in the self-help space, but what does it actually mean to forgive? Forgiveness is not just a mindset shift or something we can “think” our way into—it is a somatic process that requires addressing the nervous system and accessing our healthy aggression. 

Using the latest neuroscience research, Sarah explains how unresolved trauma gets stored in our bodies until we are able to “complete the incomplete experience” or access the appropriate response to what occurred. If you’ve struggled to let go and move forward in life, this episode will give you a step-by-step guide to somatically resolve these wounds, so that you can find freedom from the past and release feelings of shame and resentment.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

00:46 Time Does Not Heal All  

04:36 We Must First Process What Occurred

08:01 What is Healthy Aggression?

11:20 What is Unhealthy Aggression?

12:36 Building Your Capacity for Healthy Aggression

15:56 Practical Applications for Somatic Forgiveness 

21:31 Accessing Your Unmet Needs

24:09 Struggling to Move On After a Betrayal

27:21 Healing Shame and Anger from Childhood Trauma

32:48 How to Overcome Parental Guilt

42:07 Spiritual Bypassing Around Forgiveness 

RSVP to Sarah’s FREE live training:

Ready for tangible somatic tools? Take this work to the next level when you join the Nervous System Starter Kit — a FREE 75-minute live training to help you get into the driver’s seat of your experience and step toward your desires.

https://bit.ly/sp-nssk 

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

Polyvagal Theory - This theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, explains how the autonomic nervous system regulates our responses to stress, danger, and safety. It highlights the role of the vagus nerve in shifting between survival states (fight, flight, freeze, and shut down) and social engagement, which is crucial for emotional healing.

Healthy Aggression - A term coined by Peter Levine, this is our lifeforce energy, which is needed to set boundaries, protect oneself, and assert personal needs. It’s also the energy that allows us to experience full aliveness, connection, wonder, and awe. When suppressed, it can lead to unresolved anger, resentment, and even physical symptoms, but when expressed appropriately, it helps complete past emotional responses.

Trauma - Trauma is the overwhelm of activation (energy) experienced in our bodies, in the face of helplessness. If we do not have the conditions necessary for trauma to process through our bodies, it becomes stuck and stored, leaving lasting emotional, physical or psychological imprints. It disrupts the nervous system causing chronic dysregulation, disconnection and/or hypervigilance.

Somatic Healing - Somatic healing focuses on addressing trauma and stress stored in the body, rather than just the mind. It involves practices that help release trapped activation/energy, regulate the nervous system and complete the incomplete response to trauma of the past, and reconnect with the physical self. Techniques like movement, touch, and breathwork are commonly used to support this healing process.

Titration of Trauma - This refers to the body's natural process of releasing stored energy from past trauma or stress. It can happen through movement, sound, breathwork, or other somatic practices that allow the body to complete an unfinished emotional cycle and pendulate through stress responses.

Do you ever feel like there’s an invisible wall holding you back from the life you desire? In this episode, Sarah explores why achieving our goals can feel so difficult—even when we’re putting in the effort. The key to unlocking our full potential lies in understanding and befriending our autonomic nervous system, which shapes our entire experience and the ease in which we’re able to take steps forward. 

By viewing the nervous system as a vehicle, Sarah shares practical strategies for how to guide your nervous system down roads that lead to your deepest desires. Through the power of nervous system regulation, parts work, and safe connection, it’s possible to get unstuck and tangibly move toward a more full, expansive life.

Episode Highlight:

00:00 Intro

01:35 The Vehicle Inside You (Your Nervous System)

07:31 The Roads of Your Deepest Desires

19:02 What Determines the Size of Your Life

23:52 Building Capacity in Your Nervous System

26:48: 4 Things That Don’t Actually Work

27:46 #1 - “Muscling Through” 

30:08 #2 - Setting Unattainable Goals

32:43 #3 - Taking Steps in Isolation

34:52 #4 - Comparing Our Self to Others

36:28 Building a Bridge to Where You Want to Go

40:48 Cultivating Safe Community and Connection

42:07 Start Honoring Your ‘NO’

44:58 “What About Taking the Big, Scary Step?”

49:44 “How to Take Tolerable Steps in Dating?”

53:27 “Why Is It So Hard to Take Steps Forward?”     

Join the Expansion Experience:

Ready to start expanding into a bigger life? Join Sarah’s 3-day live experience for tangible somatic tools to break through stagnancy and start expanding. First call starts on March 17th with replays available for a limited time.

https://bit.ly/yms-sp-ee

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

Autonomic Nervous System - The body's command center for automatic functions like breathing, heart rate, and digestion. It also plays a vital role in how we respond to stress and perceived threats, as well as our ability to feel safe, connected, and regulated.

Roads of Safety - The pathways our nervous system recognizes as safe and predictable, often shaped by past experiences. While they provide comfort and stability, they may not always align with our true desires or highest potential.

Roads of Familiarity - The patterns and dynamics we've learned to navigate—whether healthy or not. Our nervous system tends to gravitate toward familiar routes because they offer a sense of control, even if they don’t always serve our well-being.

Safe Connection - The deep sense of being seen, heard, and understood by others, fostering a feeling of belonging and security. Safe connection is essential for regulating the nervous system and expanding our capacity for growth, healing, and change.

In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah explores the science behind relationships using Polyvagal Theory, Attachment Theory, and Parts Work. She explains how these frameworks complement each other and shape our ability to connect, feel safe inside our relational containers, and navigate emotional intimacy.

Sarah highlights the importance of understanding how our nervous system and parts inform the people we choose in our lives, emphasizing that much of what we experience in adult connections is rooted in early life experiences. By combining these three approaches, it’s possible to heal the past in the present, navigate challenges with more ease, and attract the kinds of partners we truly desire.

Episode Highlight:

00:00 Introduction

00:15 Understanding Our Relationships

02:00 The Nervous System & Attachment Theory

09:02 How Attachments Form

16:04 How We Connect In Our Adult Lives

21:24 How to Regulate Based On Your Attachment Style

22:12 The Nervous System & Parts Work

32:58 How “Self-Like Parts” Show Up

39:07 Why Moving On Can Be So Challenging 

49:29 Avoidant Attachment & Healing Shame

53:03 Panic In Relationships

Take Sarah’s FREE Quiz:

Feeling stuck in any area of your life? Take Sarah’s quiz to learn more about the self-protective system inside you that’s often responsible for your stuckness—and how to harness its power to step toward the life you desire.

https://bit.ly/yms-sp-quiz

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

Polyvagal Theory – A framework explaining how the autonomic nervous system governs safety, connection, and self-protective responses in our relationships and lives.

Attachment Theory – A psychological model describing how early childhood experiences shape relational patterns, emotional bonds, and the way we connect with others.

Parts Work – A therapeutic approach (e.g., Internal Family Systems) that explores different parts or aspects of the self and their roles in emotional healing.

Nervous System Regulation – Techniques and practices that help manage stress responses, promoting emotional balance and internal safety.

Avoidant Attachment – A self-protective relational pattern where connection can often feel overwhelming and individuals subconsciously withdraw from intimacy due to past emotional wounds.

Anxious Attachment – A self-protective relational pattern where we feel less safe on our own and often sacrifice our own needs in order to maintain connection with another.

Disorganized Attachment – A self-protective relational pattern where we tend to feel comfortable in chaos and want others close, but when they come close, we push them away.

Shame & Internalization – The process of internalizing negative beliefs about oneself, often rooted in childhood experiences of criticism or neglect.

What if there was a way to find more lightness and joy in your healing journey along the way? In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah explores the profound impact of two transformative states within the autonomic nervous system: play and stillness. These states aren’t just about fun and quiet—they’re the keys to unlocking creativity, emotional regulation, and deeper connections.

Sarah shares practical tips to help you embrace these vital states, from finding freedom through dance and movement to building rituals that invite inner peace. Whether you’re using play to resolve conflict in your relationships or creating a nighttime stillness routine for better sleep, this episode offers a roadmap to navigate life with greater ease and aliveness.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

00:17 Play and Stillness

02:03 3 States of Dysregulation

03:00 Getting to Know Your Blended State of Play

11:06 Why Do We Struggle to Experience Play?

15:09 Tools to Begin Stepping Toward Play

19:20 Getting to Know Your Blended State of Stillness

26:40 Why Do We Struggle to Experience Stillness?

30:02 Tools to Begin Stepping Toward Stillness

38:18 “How Do I Feel More Playful and Free While Dancing?”

50:41 “Why Doesn’t Meditation Work For Me?”

59:42 “How Can Play Help Improve My Relationship?” 

Download Sarah’s FREE Workbook: 

Want free trauma-informed tools? Download Sarah’s free workbook, “How to Gain Control Over How You Feel,” for actionable prompts and exercises to help you start feeling better on a daily basis.

https://bit.ly/yms-sp-workbook

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) - The autonomic nervous system is a part of the nervous system that operates unconsciously to regulate vital bodily functions such as heart rate, digestion, and respiratory rate. It has two primary branches: the sympathetic (activates fight-or-flight responses) and parasympathetic (promotes our rest-and-digest state along with our dorsal vagal complex), which are integral in supporting us to experience both regulation and dysregulation. 

Play - Play is a blended state within the autonomic nervous system, made primarily of regulation (ventral vagal complex) with a touch of mobilizing sympathetic energy (sympathetic nervous system). It fosters creativity, learning, and bonding by bringing joy and aliveness into life experiences.

Stillness - Stillness is a state predominantly rooted in regulation (ventral vagal complex) with a subtle influence of the dorsal vagal complex. It encourages deep presence, better sleep, intimacy and emotional connection, and rejuvenation, allowing individuals to fully embrace quiet, restorative moments.

Ventral Vagal Complex - The ventral vagal complex is part of the parasympathetic nervous system associated with safety and regulation. It governs states of connection, calm, and engagement with others, enabling social bonding and overall well-being.

Sympathetic Nervous System - The sympathetic nervous system is responsible for activating the fight-or-flight response, preparing the body to react to real or perceived threats. It increases energy and alertness, mobilizing the body for action when needed.

Dorsal Vagal Complex - The dorsal vagal complex is a branch of the parasympathetic nervous system linked to immobilization and shutdown responses. It becomes active in extreme stress or trauma and helps us to leave our bodies, resulting in feelings of disconnection or dissociation.