When family members or friends hold views that we oppose, we can feel stuck. These days, polarization is everywhere, both in our culture at large and within familial and intimate relationships. So often, conversations online feel like a zero-sum game. At the same time, most of us want to live in a world where we can have thoughtful, nuanced conversations with people we don’t see eye to eye with on every issue. In her book, Do You Still Talk to Grandma? When the Problematic People in Our Lives Are the Ones We Love, speaker and teacher Brit Barron offers us a way forward that goes beyond the black and white thinking that’s so characteristic of this time, while also emphasizing the importance of holding fast to our personal boundaries and values. In this conversation, Dr. Alexandra and Brit discuss reminders and a roadmap for cultivating curiosity, humility, and openness, which are essential when it comes to connecting with loved ones we disagree with.

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Do You Still Talk to Grandma? When the Problematic People in Our Lives Are the Ones We Love by Brit Barron

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Connection, both with others and with oneself, really is the answer to so many of life’s woes. We know that investing in our relationships helps us become happier, healthier, and more fulfilled. Dr. Adam Dorsay, author of the book Super Psyched: Unleash the Power of the 4 Types of Connection and Live the Life You Love, walks us through this straightforward but vital idea in this episode: that the antidote to the uniquely modern angst so much of us experience today is connection. Sounds simple, right? Well, not always, when there are so many pulls on our attention and shiny goals to strive towards. Dr. Alexandra talks with Dr. Adam about how connection isn’t just about spending time with others, but so much more than that—an emotional state of aliveness and vitality. Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist and executive coach in Silicon Valley, where he works with high-achieving adults. He is also a resiliency expert and co-creator of an international program for Facebook’s Online Safety employees. In this episode, you’ll learn why so many high-achieving folks feel unfulfilled, even when they seem to have everything at their fingertips. You’ll also get pointers from Dr. Alexandra and Dr. Adam about how to prioritize connection in your life, which will lead to more happiness, stability, and gratitude. 

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Super Psyched: Unleash the Power of the 4 Types of Connection and Live the Life You Love by Dr. Adam Dorsay

Dr. Adam’s podcast, SuperPsyched

Dr. Adam’s Tedx Talks: Friendships in Adulthood: 5 Things to Know | Emotions: The Data Men Miss

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When there’s a struggling person in a family, the system often coalesces around that individual, and while we might imagine these patterns get left behind when kids grow into adults, the dynamic often endures for the long run. Reimagining Love listener Cristina wrote in to Dr. Alexandra from Chicago, asking about how to better handle the challenges of such a situation. She’s the only one in her family who is in therapy, and she is eager to disrupt the dynamic. Cristina wants to stay connected to her sisters, despite the challenges they’ve faced, and her hope is to break longstanding patterns of over-accommodation and resentment while honoring her own needs as well as other family members’. Dr. Alexandra dives into this question with the goal of exploring an empowering therapeutic truth: that when you change your own dance moves, you can transform the entire system. If you’re dealing with something similar, this episode is going to offer you ways forward you may not have experimented yet, that could have the potential to change everything. If you’d like to submit a listener question of your own, you can do so by following the link below.

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In the age of modern technology, we have more information about each other than ever before. Sharing locations with our loved ones can make life more convenient, and while at first glance it may seem like a small decision, the choice to share or not to share actually encapsulates so many of the values and tensions that couples face—questions of closeness and privacy, trust and betrayal, safety and mystery. And if you’ve ever had tense conversations around sharing your location using apps like Find My Friends, Life360, or Snap Maps, Dr. Alexandra is going to help you understand why this topic carries more weight than we might realize, and how to navigate through it and make decisions about location-sharing with your partner.

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Technology Safety & Privacy: A Toolkit for Survivors: Safety Net Project

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The work of building a life we love is deep and longterm. But along the way, there are small and simple gems of wisdom that can pack a big punch and lead us to “aha” moments. Renowned happiness expert Gretchen Rubin’s new book, Secrets of Adulthood: Simple Truths for Our Complex Lives, is full of aphorisms that present those kinds of helpful, concise ideas. Gretchen is the author of many bestselling books, such as The Happiness Project, Better Than Before, The Four Tendencies, and Life in Five Senses. She’s also host of the popular podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin, which helps people track their happiness-boosting habits. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra and Gretchen use aphorisms from the book to explore themes such as the tension between self-acceptance and wanting to grow, and balancing duty and desire in our relationships. Aphorisms can be wonderful conversation-openers, and this episode may even inspire you to write some of your own!

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Secrets of Adulthood: Simple Truths for Our Complex Lives by Gretchen Rubin

Abandon the Empty Nest. Instead, Try the Open Door by Gretchen Rubin (The Atlantic)

Gretchen’s podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin

Gretchen’s website

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Parents of adolescents can sometimes feel like they’re in a tough spot: they get so much pushback and can lose their confidence when it comes to talking about the topics that really matter such as romance and love. Additionally, many parents don’t feel up to the task of talking with their teens about this subject—often because they’re still making sense of their own relationship journeys. In her new book, First Love: Guiding Teens through Relationships and Heartbreak, journalist, author, and professor Lisa A. Phillips reminds us that all adults are really still recovering from being teenagers, and that they bring their own experiences and ideas of first love into conversations with their kids. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra chats with Lisa about how our society has a tendency to demean and devalue fist love, the fact that most adolescents wish their parents spoke with them about relationships, and why a crush really is a milestone, too. They also explore how parents bring their own experiences and biases to these conversations, and often let their own fears and hang-ups stop them from having this important dialog in the first place.

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First Love: Guiding Teens Through Relationships and Heartbreak by Lisa A. Phillips

From WAMU’s 1A: How to talk our teens through their first heartbreaks, featuring Lisa A. Phillips, Alexandra Solomon, and Lauren Hamilton, hosted by Jenn White.

Lisa’s website

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Breakups are heart-wrenching at any age, but when a partner leaves suddenly after three decades of marriage, it takes a lot of time to pick up the pieces. When Suzy Hopkins had this experience, she decided to team up with her illustrator daughter Hallie Bateman to channel her pain into a creative project, and their book, What To Do When You Get Dumped: A Guide to Unbreaking Your Heart, came to life. Suzy had a rich career in journalism including founding her own magazine, and Hallie is a writer and illustrator whose work has appeared in places like the New Yorker and the New York Times Magazine. This is the second book Hallie and Suzy have made together, and on today’s episode, they’re giving us an inside look at what creating this illustrated guide entailed and how healing the creative process was for both of them. Dr. Alexandra chats with them about some of the most painful aspects of breakups, and they explore the incredible renewal that can occur in the wake of loss, when we are able to accept support from those we love and summon the courage to reimagine our lives. 

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What to Do When You Get Dumped by Suzy Hopkins & Hallie Bateman

Hallie’s website

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Today, we are excited to share Dr. Alexandra’s recent interview on the Signal Award-winning podcast No Small Endeavor. Produced by PRX and Great Feeling Studios, the podcast explores what it means to live a good life with the help of courageous and impassioned guests like renowned happiness expert Gretchen Rubin, Hidden Brain podcast host Shankar Vedantam, and New York Times bestselling author Malcolm Gladwell.

In this specific episode, host and theologian Lee C. Camp and Dr. Solomon discuss insights from her book, "Loving Bravely,” as well as the secrets to thriving intimacy, mastering the art of apology, and staying truly present with your partner. Not to mention she shares practical tools for navigating the inevitable challenges of long-term love.  

Listen to more episodes of No Small Endeavor here: https://lnk.to/D28Fv3

Today’s guest, psychiatrist and author Dr. Sue Varma, says that optimists may be born, but “practical optimists” are made. Not all optimism is good, and not all pessimism is bad. BUT when we become mired in negativity, Dr. Sue says, we become paralyzed and passive. So what’s the fix? In her book, Practical Optimism, and in this episode, she makes a compelling case for why we all need more optimism in our lives and tells us how we can cultivate it right now. Dr. Alexandra chats with Dr. Sue about the role self-compassion plays in this journey, and how finding your soul’s purpose can help you remain in an optimistic zone for decades to come. They also discuss how partners can explore their unique strengths in this area as a team.

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Practical Optimism The Art, Science, and Practice of Exceptional Well-Being by Dr. Sue Varma

Dr. Sue’s website

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