Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

We all have to make big choices in life, but it’s easy to feel overwhelmed when facing major decisions about careers, relationships, or personal growth. In this episode, Forrest and Rick Hanson explore how to develop a reliable system for making choices that align with your values and goals. They break down balancing analysis with intuition, the five key decision-making styles, and common obstacles that lead to poor choices. The episode also includes two live demonstrations of working through a big decision, which includes learning how to identify what you want and pursue it from a values-oriented perspective.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

3:50: Analysis vs. intuition, and activities vs. results

10:45: Effort, values, and the environments you put yourself in

17:05: The five decision-making styles

28:50: Motives and attachment

33:30: Rigidity, excessive certainty, and other common pitfalls

42:10: Demo #1 - Reverse-engineering a career decision (or Rick with a legal pad)

1:04:55: Demo #2 - Deciding whether to invest deeply in a romantic relationship

1:18:00: Recap

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We’re tired, burnt out, and searching for a reprieve from hustle culture. Something needs to change if we’re going to get to real productivity: doing that is meaningful and fulfilling rather than just checking boxes off an endless to-do list. On today’s episode, Cal Newport joins the podcast to explore slow productivity, deep work, and how we can achieve more by doing less.

About our Guest: Cal is a computer science professor at Georgetown University and the bestselling author of eight books including Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World and most recently, Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment Without Burnout. He also has a YouTube channel and hosts the podcast Deep Questions with Cal Newport. 

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:45: Slow productivity vs. pseudoproductivity

10:35: Anxiety, procrastination, and overwhelm

17:40: Meaningful work and anti-productivity

22:40: Technology, anti-capitalist philosophy, and knowledge work

28:55: The cognitive drain of multitasking

32:45: The distraction of phones social media

36:00: The ratio of deep work to lighter work

41:00: How timeblocking actually reduces stress

45:20: Office hours and shared documents

48:05: Common misconceptions about Cal’s work

55:45: Tailoring advice to your individual situation

1:00:40: Life transitions, and the deceptive advice to “follow your passion”

1:08:00: Obsessing over quality while avoiding perfectionism

1:17:30: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

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Dr. Rick and Forrest answer listener questions focused on navigating relationship challenges. They explore how to rediscover yourself after a codependent relationship, distinguish between healthy and unhealthy desires, maintain friendships after romantic feelings emerge, overcome self-consciousness in social interactions, and communicate effectively during stress responses. Whether you're healing from a breakup, working through attachment issues, or seeking to build more authentic connections, this episode offers practical advice.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

0:50: After a breakup, how can I reconnect with myself and identify what I really want?

7:50: How do I distinguish between healthy and unhealthy wanting?

18:40: How can I stay friends with someone I’ve had romantic feelings for?

32:20: How can I learn to let my thoughts and speech flow more naturally?

39:10: How can I communicate with care when I find myself in an attachment-related freeze response?

56:15: Recap

I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod 

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

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We all have an "inner child:” the part of ourselves that carries the emotions, beliefs and experiences from our early years. While this aspect of ourselves can be a source of creativity, playfulness and wonder, it might also harbor unresolved wounds that affect our adult relationships and behaviors. In this episode, Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore what the inner child really is, how it manifests in our lives, and practical ways to work with this important part of ourselves. They discuss how to identify inner child wounds, demonstrate techniques like voice dialogue, and share strategies for bringing more awareness and healing to our younger selves.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:20: What is the inner child?

7:30: How the inner child shows up in our adult lives

10:40: A CBT-ish way of thinking about the inner child

16:40: Unmet needs, and examples of inner child wounds

21:45: Promoting the positive aspects of the inner child

28:50: How to begin engaging with the inner child

35:30: Shame, and turning toward yourself

39:00: Reparenting

46:30: Voice Dialogue demonstration

1:00:15: Reflections on the demonstration

1:06:00: Other approaches, and reasons you might be having a hard time

1:09:25: Rage and release, looking at pictures, and creating an autobiography

1:14:00: Balancing the inner child's desires with the realities of life

1:20:10: Recap

I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod 

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

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Anxiety is something we all experience from time to time, and because it’s so common it can be easy to take it lightly. But anxiety dominates the lives of many people, and in this episode psychotherapist Joshua Fletcher joins Forrest for an in-depth exploration of anxiety. They talk about the anxiety cycle, moving away from thinking in terms of a “cure,” and the key target of the “willful tolerance of uncertainty.” Josh also shares insights on exposure therapy, managing self-criticism, and developing greater self-awareness. 

About our Guest: Joshua Fletcher, also known as Anxiety Josh, is a psychotherapist based in Manchester, UK, and the author of several books, including his newest, "and how does that make you feel?" Joshua also co-hosts the podcast "Disordered," and you may have bumped into his content on Tiktok or Instagram, where he has over a quarter million followers. 

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

3:30: Josh’s first panic attack

10:15: The vicious cycle of threat monitoring

14:00: The three magic words: “just in case”

20:00: The “willful tolerance of uncertainty”

27:00: Exposure therapy

31:55: Working with self-criticism

41:20: Reward, punishment, and trauma

48:05: Identifying our varied inner voices

52:10: Worried voice, false comfort, and wise mind

54:00: Approaching anxiety as a neurodivergent person

58:10: Healthy disenchantment

1:00:15: Recap

I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod 

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

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Why do so many people seem to resist self-compassion? Dr. Chris Germer, co-creator of the Mindful Self-Compassion program, joins Forrest to explore how we can work with the deeply ingrained shame that gets in the way.

Dr. Germer shares common misunderstandings about self-compassion, and they discuss the complex interplay between shame, self-criticism, and our capacity for self-care. Forrest focuses on the paradox of self-compassion: how approaching it as a “solution to your problems” actually gets in the way of it helping you out. Dr. Germer then shares the model of safety, challenge, and overwhelm, including how we can use it to guide our practice, get to the bottom of shame, and avoid burnout along the way.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:30: What people get wrong about self-compassion 

5:10: Tender vs. fierce self-compassion, and the “paradox of practice”

11:35: Shame and self-compassion

17:35: Safety, challenge, and overwhelm

23:30: Holding ourselves before holding our experience

31:45: Burnout, and inner-kindness vs. external approval

37:35: Getting to the bottom of shame, and loving ourselves up

42:00: Applying mindfulness to self-compassion practice

48:40: Overzealousness, and clarity of intention

53:10: Motivating ourselves

57:00: Recap

I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod 

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

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In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the all-too-common challenge of social anxiety. They break down what it really means to be socially anxious (hint: it's not just being shy), where those feelings come from, and why they stick around. Rick explains the roots of social anxiety, highlighting the role of attachment styles and individual temperament, before Forrest shares how to locate yourself on a spectrum from everyday nervousness to Social Anxiety Disorder. They then discuss evidence-based approaches to working with social anxiety like exposure therapy, cognitive defusion, and mindfulness techniques. Whether you experience feelings of anxiety or are trying to understand a friend who does, this episode will help you feel more confident and connected.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:45: What is social anxiety?

7:10: Where does social anxiety come from?

13:40: Feeling worthy, and other social factors

17:00: Nature vs. nurture

24:15: Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) and comorbid diagnoses

29:50: Exposure therapy, and how to practice it safely

42:00: Positive reinforcement, and responding to ruminative thoughts

55:45: Widening our view, and taking in the good

1:03:15: Talking with younger parts, and self-compassion

1:10:15: Normalizing anxiety

1:11:35: Recap

I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. 

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

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In our first feed drop, we’re sharing the first episode of Season 4 of the Turning Points Podcast. The host of Turning Points is therapist Frantzces Lys, and in this episode she explores family and peer-based approaches to therapy. 

Frantzces is joined by two guests, first Charles Daniels, the CEO and co-founder of Fathers’ Uplift, an organization that provides therapy, coaching, and advocacy for fathers. And second, Gina Connor, a clinical social worker who specializes treating eating disorders, trauma, anxiety, and life transitions through individual and group therapy. 

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

5:00: First guest - Charles Daniels

23:10: Second guest - Gina Connor

33:30: Recap

I hope you enjoy this episode of the Turning Points podcast. Subscribe here: https://sponsored.bostonglobe.com/point32health/turning-points/

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Dr. Rick and Forrest unpack the "Dark Triad" of personality traits - narcissism, Machiavellianism, and sociopathy - and explore how these traits can manifest in everyday relationships. They talk about how individuals with these tendencies use charm and manipulation to control situations and people, and offer practical strategies for identifying these traits in others. You’ll learn how to set boundaries, protect yourself from manipulation, and develop a thoughtful, empathetic approach when navigating relationships with those who exhibit these challenging behaviors. The episode also explores self-care in difficult dynamics, the ethical considerations in labeling others, and how to manage unavoidable interactions with people who display these traits. It’s essential listening for anyone who has encountered toxic behavior, and wants to learn how to deal with it more effectively.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction and disclaimers

3:50: The Dark Triad: Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Sociopathy

7:40: Charisma, privilege, and why some people get away with antisocial behavior

16:10: Sensitivity to criticism, viewing people as means to ends, and other evidence

22:35: Being careful about labeling people

28:50: Developing awareness, and grieving reality

33:10: Boundaries and safety

38:00: Limiting the scope of the relationship

42:20: How to break through the “fuzz” in communication

49:25: Transference, and when it’s safe to confront people

55:15: Self-care in unavoidable situations

59:15: When you notice these tendencies in yourself

1:02:10: Recap

I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. 

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

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Forrest sits down with marriage and family therapist Julie Menanno to explore one of the most crucial aspects of healthy relationships: secure attachment. They discuss the impact of anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment patterns, and provide practical advice on identifying and communicating attachment needs, fostering emotional safety, and addressing the common anxious-avoidant partner dynamic. Julie highlights the importance of emotional validation and recommends strategies for communicating from the heart. Forrest and Julie then talk about what we can learn from how securely attached couples navigate conflict and repair. 

This episode is perfect for anyone looking to strengthen their relationships!

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:20: Attachment styles and emotional safety

4:30: Identifying and meeting attachment needs

12:45: How attachment styles shape our relationships

19:30: The “anxious-avoidant” partner dynamic

26:55: Communicating from the heart

32:40: Emotional validation

35:55: Conflict and repair in a securely attached relationship

44:55: How a therapist manages escalation and overwhelm

50:35: The power of choice in relationships

56:35: Recap

I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. 

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Connect with the show:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices