Forrest and Dr. Rick explore how self-concept, the invisible architecture of who we are, shapes our lives. They discuss how identity can become a cage, the unconscious beliefs we have about who we are, and how loosening those beliefs might be the key to lasting change.

Forrest and Rick talk about the science of psychological flexibility, how to challenge limiting self-beliefs, and why a little more “don’t-know mind” can go a long way. They share insights from Carl Rogers, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Buddhist philosophy, and focus on practical ways to update your self-concept without losing who you are.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:40: What is self-concept?

8:25: Stories, frameworks, and expectations

13:30: ‘I’ vs. ‘me’, and feeling misunderstood

16:55: Carl Rogers’ framework of self-concept and congruence

24:20: Common tropes for defending identity

30:45: Applying principles of biological evolution to your sense of self

34:50: Resistance to change, and misguided beliefs

40:35: Don’t-know mind, affirmation, and taking in the good

47:30: The Buddhist conception of the self

53:40: Living in direct experience, and basic trust

56:50: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days.

Head to fastgrowingtrees.com/BEINGWELL to get 15% off the best deals for your yard. Use BEINGWELL at checkout, and take advantage of their Alive and Thrive Guarantee!

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ 

Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.

Connect with the show:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and Dr. Rick explore one of his most powerful psychological tools: linking. Over time, linking can help us rewire the brain, softening the impact of painful memories. They discuss the neuroscience behind this process, the role of memory reconsolidation, and the importance of matching positive experiences to our original pains. Rick shares personal examples, practical tips, and a few important cautions so you can apply this technique safely. This is a grounded, hands-on episode focused on one of his most high-impact ideas.

Warning: There is a brief mention of SA toward the end of the episode. 

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:45: What is linking?

5:30: The relationship between linking and memory, and coherence therapy

12:20: The challenges with linking, and making the positive stronger than the negative

20:40: How to practice linking

31:00: How to disentangle our adult selves from our ‘parts’

39:30: The “erasure protocol”

53:15: How long it takes for linking to help, and key questions to ask yourself

1:02:05: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days.

Head to fastgrowingtrees.com/BEINGWELL to get 15% off the best deals for your yard. Use BEINGWELL at checkout, and take advantage of their Alive and Thrive Guarantee!

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ 

Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.

Connect with the show:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest answer questions focused on navigating common relationship conflicts, focusing on situations where people need to find a middle path between different needs. The discussion covers balancing sensitivity with directness, bridging differences in emotional processing speeds, setting healthy boundaries without anger, and understanding how childhood patterns influence adult relationships. Throughout, they explore how couples can move from seeing issues as "me problems" to "we problems," emphasizing the importance of being on the same team and strengthening connection.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:50: How do I know if I’m being too sensitive or my partner’s being too harsh?

13:30: I need space to process; my partner wants to resolve things immediately. How do we bridge the gap?

20:55: How do I determine whether or not a relationship problem is a dealbreaker?

33:00: How can I discern between rumination and useful anxiety?

41:40: How can I honor my need for self-protection while maintaining my naturally open heart?

49:15: If parents have certain problematic traits, are their children more likely to develop those traits as well?

56:00: Recap

Rumination Course: Rick’s 5-week online course Breaking Out of Rumination starts on March 29th. Rumination is a big pain point for many people, and this course will help you learn how to break repetitive patterns of thought. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount.

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ 

Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.

Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order.

Connect with the show:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In one of my favorite conversations, bestselling author David Epstein joins the podcast to explore how to find your path in life, the problem with 10,000 hours, and why generalists triumph in a specialized world. David and I discuss why sampling different paths before specializing tends to lead to more fulfillment. David explains why feeling "behind" is actually normal for successful people who take non-linear paths, and how "fit looks like grit" when you find something that genuinely connects with your strengths and interests. We then detail how to identify good fits, a practical process for getting good at almost anything, and what helps create a breakthrough moment.

About our Guest: David Epstein is a bestselling author, science writer, and investigative reporter known for challenging conventional wisdom about peak performance. His books include Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World and The Sports Gene.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction and summary of David’s work

1:25: The benefits of generalism and an unusual background

4:15: Feeling behind, and David vs. Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hours

11:40: Curiosity, transferable skills, and comfort with failure

21:40: Problems with specialization, and the value of consistent learning

27:10: Beginner’s mind and the eight lane highway

31:35: Finding what you want to do, and the value of constraint

41:35: Doing what’s in front of you, and Frances Hesselbein

45:55: How to actually get good at something

54:20: More on getting comfortable with failure

1:00:10: Autonomy, flow, and just picking something

1:04:00: What creates the “breakthrough moment”?

1:11:30: Recap

Rumination Course: Rick’s 5-week online course Breaking Out of Rumination starts on March 29th. Rumination is a big pain point for many people, and this course will help you learn how to break repetitive patterns of thought. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount.

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ 

Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.

Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order.

Connect with the show:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Self-awareness is a good thing…right? In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick Hanson explore how we can stop overthinking and break the self-awareness trap: when knowing ourselves becomes an obstacle to change. They discuss the difference between reflection and rumination, the pitfalls of being "an expert on yourself," and why overthinking is often an avoidance mechanism disguised as problem-solving. Dr. Rick shares practical strategies for managing attention, setting boundaries around decisions, and cultivating an experimental mindset.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Rumination Course: Rick’s 5-week online course Breaking Out of Rumination starts on March 29th. Rumination is a big pain point for many people, and this course will help you learn how to break repetitive patterns of thought. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:40: When self-awareness gets in the way

8:15: Rumination vs. reflection

13:25: Developing passion for the ‘useful truth’, and working with obsession

16:45: Beginner’s mind and self-concept

25:15: The 90/10 approach to overthinking

31:15: Seeing what’s liberating, naming what’s important, seeing your full self

35:05: Managing your attention, and self-trust

42:00: Thinking vs. taking useful action

50:35: Letting yourself experiment

54:00: Self-acceptance, and having a spirit of openness

58:10: Avoiding the unknown  

1:00:35: Recap

I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ 

Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.

Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order.

Connect with the show:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There’s never been more information out there about psychology, self-improvement, and mental health, making it easy to get lost in the details and lose sight of what matters. In this special episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick apply the 90/10 rule to psychology and self-help: what are the small handful of things that tend to make the biggest difference for people?

You’ll learn why most self-help advice should probably be ignored, how to simplify your approach to happiness and personal growth, and what actually moves the needle when it comes to feeling better, getting unstuck, and building a fulfilling life.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Rumination Course: Rick’s 5-week online course Breaking Out of Rumination starts on March 29th. Rumination is a big pain point for many people, and this course will help you learn how to break repetitive patterns of thought. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:00: Putting the big rocks in first

8:40: Root factors of well-being

15:15: Satisfaction, and what helps us rest easy

26:05: Avoidance, and responding to our own objections

32:35: Finding what matters to you, spirituality, and creative expression

36:25: Small, consistent action

39:50: Relationships and the power of repair

43:00: Stress, self-regulation, and creating space around your thoughts

48:55: Identifying your broken link, and the role of integrity

53:30: Allostatic load, and acknowledging when you’ve done your best

1:00:00: Being on your own side, pursuit mindset, and benefiting others

1:03:40: Self-concept, and joining the defense

1:06:00: Bottom up regulation, and taking one thing at a time

1:10:35: Recap

I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order.

Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson.

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ 

Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.

Connect with the show:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how we can improve focus and fix our attention spans in a world that is constantly trying to distract us. They discuss common reasons it’s hard to focus and three key interventions that can help most people. Rick teaches approaches from mindfulness practice, and Forrest explains how we can improve focus motivation and distress tolerance. Topics include ADHD, the role of dopamine, expanding the “Goldilocks Zone,” the practice of doing hard things, and how we can become less reliant on willpower.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

5:25: Three key areas where we seek focus

9:10: Self-belief and inner turmoil

14:10: Three factors for sustaining focus

20:50: The goldilocks zone, physical health, and emotional preoccupation

24:40: Difficulties with meditation and mindfulness

32:40: Willpower vs. motivation

40:20: Quieting the mind

41:25: Decreasing the reward value of our distractions

48:35: Being present with others

54:05: ‘Going wide’, self-compassion, and other tactics for completing tasks

1:02:10: Choice and rumination

1:06:15: Recap

I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order.

Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson.

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ 

Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

Connect with the show:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, one of the world’s leading experts on narcissism and narcissistic abuse, joins Forrest to help us learn how to understand, identify, and recover from relationships with narcissistic people. They start by discussing the traits associated with narcissism, the spectrum of narcissistic behaviors, and Dr. Ramani’s critiques of the NPD diagnosis. They then talk about different kinds of narcissism and why narcissists can be difficult to identify before moving on to the issues with narcissism in relationships. Dr. Ramani explains the general pattern narcissism follows, what narcissistic abuse looks like in practice, and what we can do to become more "narcissist resistant.”

About our Guest: Dr. Ramani is a clinical psychologist, professor emeritus at California State University, Los Angeles, and the author of a number of books including her most recent It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People. Her work has been featured on The Today Show, CNN, and The New York Times. She also offers an online program for survivors of narcissistic abuse. 

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:30: Defining the variety of narcissistic personality styles

9:40: Narcissism as a tactic for external validation

13:00: Narcissistic supplies, personality style, and diagnosable conditions

24:45: The appeal of narcissistic traits, and their effect on specific relationships

33:25: Getting stuck in a relationship with a narcissist, and devaluation

42:45: Manipulation, gaslighting, and discerning what’s real

52:35: Becoming narcissist resistant

1:00:45: Nervous system responses

1:03:25: Covert narcissism and seeing your own traits

1:06:45: Recap

I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order.

Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson.

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ 

Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

Connect with the show:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners, many of which focused on anxiety experiences. They start by discussing “dreaded experiences,” and how we can respond when our worst fears come true. Rick then shares how we can respond effectively to feedback, before answering a short question about taking in the good. Forrest and Rick then answer three questions related to different kinds of anxiety: social anxiety, managing different levels of concern in a relationship, and anxiety brought on by slowing down. 

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:00: How do you handle situations where you really fear something, and then it actually happens?

10:45: How can I become more receptive to feedback, and respond with less defensiveness?

19:00: How long do I need to “take in the good” for?

22:55: How can I work with my anxious parts when navigating social anxiety?

29:20: How can I support a partner who experiences a lot of anxiety?

40:40: Why am I struggling so hard with mindfulness meditation?

48:00: Recap

I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order.

Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson.

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ 

Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

Connect with the show:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this special episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how we can become more self-reliant, and learn to trust ourselves. This helps us be resilient in the face of life’s challenges, and it’s a key resource for people who tend to abandon their wants and needs. They start by discussing why some people struggle with self-trust, the difference between inside-out and outside-in safety, and changing the model we have of ourselves. Forrest introduces a framework for developing self-trust based on self-efficacy, flexibility, self-advocacy, and accurate appraisal, and Rick applies this to how we can build self-worth and feel strong and capable. 

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:10: Why some people have an easier time trusting themselves than others

4:30: An outside-in vs, inside-out sense of safety, and feeling reliable

9:50: Welcoming positive feedback, and psychological flexibility

14:10: Sticking up for yourself

19:55: Stabilizing yourself when feeling helpless

25:00: Evaluating internal stories, and living moment to moment

30:15: Feeling like someone who matters, and feeling seen by others

35:00: Three aspects of self-regulation, and self-appraisal

41:35: Object relations, and focusing attention on your inner world

48:55: Seeing yourself as the creator of your world, and authenticity

55:15: Recap

I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson.

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ 

Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

Connect with the show:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices