In this conversation, Dr. Alexandra totally nerds-out with Dr. Allison Daminger about the division of work in couples, particularly in an often overlooked domain: the mental space. In her research, Daminger found that even when couples approximate parity around “time use”, there are still huge gaps in what she calls “mind use” or cognitive labor… even for modern couples who believe in what she calls the Myth of Mutuality, an equal partnership where both partners evenly share the load.

You will hear about the gendered disparities in cognitive labor in the home in a gentle, blame-free way. When it comes to gender roles in family life, we tend to overestimate the effects of individual differences and underestimate the effects of bigger social forces. So if the load is feeling unequal in your partnership, Daminger wants you to move away from guilt and blame and toward strategies that move you closer to your ideals. 

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

• What constitutes cognitive labor and why women tend to carry the lion’s share.
   
• Experiences from couples in Allison’s research who successfully created shared systems for cognitive labor, and the approaches and conditions that made that possible.
   
• The narratives couples use to justify how they divide labor, especially when trying to avoid recreating gendered patterns (while often recreating them anyway).
   
• How to spot cognitive labor disparities in your own home and use that awareness to divide responsibilities more fairly based on skill rather than “personality” (i.e., gendered expectations).
   
• The pressure that broader societal structures place on individual households, and how reframing the issue can support calls for systemic change.
   
• How to start small and make meaningful shifts toward parity in cognitive labor.

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

• Dr. Allison Daminger’s book, What’s On Her Mind - The Mental Workload of Family Life: https://bookshop.org/p/books/what-s-on-her-mind-the-mental-workload-of-family-life-allison-daminger/585e2aa7eac0a0ea
• Learn more about Dr. Allison Daminger and sign up for her newsletter The Daminger Dispatch: https://www.allisondaminger.com/

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

• Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
• Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
• Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
• Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Dr. Alexandra is in-studio with her husband, Todd, for this special two-part conversation about loving across potentially dealbreaking differences. Inspired by the Netflix show, Nobody Wants This, starring Kristen Bell and Adam Brody, Dr. Alexandra and Todd reflect on navigating a faith difference, with Dr. Alexandra ultimately converting to Judaism in preparation for their marriage. They discuss the larger question: how can a couple go about navigating ANY potentially dealbreaking difference? 

In this second part of their studio conversation, Dr. Alexandra and Todd talk about scorekeeping, with gender roles, attachment styles and general disposition/worldview in mind, best practices for the “winner” and “loser” in a change/sacrifice scenario, how to approach making sacrifices to stave off resentment…and then the REAL juicy stuff: does Todd hate that Dr. Alexandra is now a Swiftie like him? Plus, hear her hot take on shelving conversations for later.

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

• Reimagining Love Episode, Nobody Wants This: How to Love Across Potentially Dealbreaking Differences (Part 1) with My Husband, Todd https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/nobody-wants-this-how-to-love-across-potentially-dealbreaking-differences-with-my-husband-todd/
• Watch the FULL IN-STUDIO CONVERSATION on YouTube: https://youtu.be/4R40kazeU4Q?t=9
• Reimagining Love Episode, Love Stories: Toddcast https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/love-stories-toddcast/
• Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschool

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

• Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
• Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
• Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
• Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Dr. Alexandra is in-studio with her husband, Todd, for this special two-part conversation about loving across potentially dealbreaking differences. Inspired by the Netflix show, Nobody Wants This, starring Kristen Bell and Adam Brody, Dr. Alexandra and Todd reflect on navigating a faith difference, with Dr. Alexandra ultimately converting to Judaism in preparation for their marriage. They discuss the larger question: how can a couple go about navigating ANY potentially dealbreaking difference? 

You’ll hear their reflections on Dr. Alexandra’s decision to convert to Judaism, as they discuss the implications of being the 'sacrificing partner' versus the one being 'sacrificed for’. You will also hear how attachment differences and family of origin dynamics impacted their relationship and what they’ve learned from it all over the years. 

You’ll come away from this episode with:

• A deeper understanding of how interfaith dynamics can enrich or challenge relationships.
• Insights into the importance of communication in overcoming differences.
• Practical advice on navigating family of origin roles and attachment styles to enhance relationship intimacy.

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

• Reimagining Love Episode, Love Stories: Toddcast https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/love-stories-toddcast/
• Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschool

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

• Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
• Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
• Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
• Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Dr. Alexandra’s conversation with Dr. Kristin Neff is all about self-compassion, an essential tool for your emotional well-being toolkit (and that’s scientifically proven!). Dr. Kristen Neff, a trailblazer in the field of self-compassion research, introduces the three foundational pillars of self-compassion, illustrating how integrating all three of these elements empowers individuals to confront their inner critic and cultivate healthier connections.   

The discussion delves into the biological and family of origin influences that shape our self-criticism, while also addressing the grief that may surface when embarking on a self-compassion journey.  You will also learn about Fierce Self-Compassion, and how we can lean into this action-oriented facet to be ambitious and to fulfill our life’s purpose.

You’ll come away from this episode with:

• A deeper understanding of the three pillars of self-compassion and their impact on relationships. 
• Insights into how practising self-compassion can cultivate self-love, foster connection, enhance intimacy, and reduce anxiety, shame, and isolation
• A new perspective on some common myths of self-compassion, such as:

1. Are self-compassion and self-esteem the same thing? 
2. Is “self-compassion” just “self-pity” rebranded? 
3. Does practising self-compassion encourage people to not take personal accountability?
4. Does embracing self-compassion mean we can’t be ambitious or want to come in first place?

• Strategies for integrating self-compassion into your routine, with a simple starting point that Dr. Kristin Neff herself practices daily

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

• Learn more about Dr. Kristin Neff and Self-Compassion: https://self-compassion.org/
• Join the Self-Compassion Community: https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-community/
• Fierce Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff: https://bookshop.org/p/books/fierce-self-compassion-how-to-harness-kindness-to-speak-up-claim-your-power-and-thrive-dr-kristin-neff/76d3f59a98e08da8?ean=9780062991065&next=t
• Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff: https://bookshop.org/p/books/self-compassion-the-proven-power-of-being-kind-to-yourself-dr-kristin-neff/a22f80fa1a9efa3b?ean=9780061733529&next=t
• Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschool

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

• Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
• Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
• Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
• Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

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“The cost of that is courage, to live for love, in truth. It takes a lot of guts and the rewards are indescribable.”

Dr. Alexandra sits down with bestselling author and coach Dr. Martha Beck to explore what it means to live “for love, in truth”, a mantra that can redefine the way we experience love and relationships. In a world filled with societal pressures and expectations, Martha shares her wisdom on how embracing authenticity can unlock profound joy and lead to fulfilling connections. Martha reflects on her unconventional journey through relationships, and the life-changing lessons learned from a spiritual experience she had while under anesthesia and from being shunned by her community in her young adulthood. Together, Dr. Alexandra and Dr. Martha Beck tackle a listener's poignant question about experiencing doubt in her relationship that’s full of “emotional complexities and longing”, leading her to question if her needs are being met.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What Martha Beck means by her mantra, “For love, in truth,” and how to recognize when you’re living out of alignment with your truth.
• How to hold love and truth through moments of doubt and loss, and how to embrace doubt and loss as necessary aspects of growth.
• How to come back to peace when life feels overwhelming.
• How to balance compassion for your partner with holding your own truth, telling your own story, and tending to your personal needs. 

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

• Learn more about Martha Beck: https://marthabeck.com/
• Beyond Anxiety: Curiosity, Creativity and Finding Your Life’s Purpose by Martha Beck: https://bookshop.org/p/books/beyond-anxiety-curiosity-creativity-and-finding-your-life-s-purpose-martha-beck/6741d02da06f0869
• Martha Beck and Rowan Mangan’s Wilder Community: https://wildercommunity.com/
• Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschool

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

• Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
• Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
• Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
• Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this two-part series, Dr. Alexandra will be taking you through how to take care of yourself and your relationship when your partner is struggling. Perhaps your partner is struggling with a job loss, a health diagnosis, a mental health challenge, the loss of a loved one, family drama, co-parenting with an ex, or something else entirely. Whatever it is, the theme is that there is some scenario that is taking up more of your partner’s bandwidth than usual, leaving less bandwidth for you and your relationship.

In this second part, Dr. Alexandra is going to take you through five internal strategies to cope with the situation at hand – strategies designed to help you tend to and take care of yourself. Then she will take you through nine relational strategies that will help you and your partner maintain or restore your relationship even as your partner struggles. 

You’ll come away with this conversation with:

• A toolkit of five internal strategies to support your own emotional health while caring for your partner.
• Nine actionable relational strategies to enhance communication and understanding in your relationship.
• Insights on the significance of self-care for the non-struggling partner and how it contributes to relationship health.
• Food-for-thought on resentment, grieving, high-functioning co-dependency, celebrating small victories, and rebuilding after a dark period (and so much more!)

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

• Terri Cole’s Too Much: https://bookshop.org/p/books/too-much-a-guide-to-breaking-the-cycle-of-high-functioning-codependency-terri-cole-msw-lcsw/077213db5957f23e?ean=9781649631862&next=t&
• Reimagining Love episode, High-Functioning Codependency: From Managing to Loving with Terri Cole https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/high-functioning-codependency-from-managing-to-loving-with-terri-cole/
• Reimagining Love episode, Why Self-Compassion is an Essential Practice with Dr. Kristin Neff https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/why-self-compassion-is-an-essential-practice-with/id1588419386?i=1000733838918
• Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschool

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

• Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
• Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
• Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
• Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this two-part series, Dr. Alexandra will be taking you through how to take care of yourself and your relationship when your partner is struggling. Perhaps your partner is struggling with a job loss, a health diagnosis, a mental health challenge, the loss of a loved one, family drama, co-parenting with an ex, or something else entirely. Whatever it is, the theme is that there is some scenario that is taking up more of your partner’s bandwidth than usual, leaving less bandwidth for you and your relationship.

In this first part, Dr. Alexandra is going to be contextualizing this scenario and providing lots of validation for the struggle that comes with having a struggling partner. She is also going to discuss factors that shape how your partner’s struggle impacts you. Hard things are just hard, but the ways you’re getting activated in the wake of your partner’s struggle also have a lot to do with your specific wounds, as well as the role you played in your family of origin. 

The insights shared in this episode lay the groundwork for a two-part series designed to equip you with effective coping strategies to maintain your well-being while fostering intimacy and connection, even in challenging times.

You’ll come away from this conversation with:

• A deeper understanding of what Dr. Alexandra calls the Recursive Relational Framework (RRF).
• Research examples that demonstrate that your partner’s struggles affect you and that how you respond can influence their outcome.
• Strategies for recognizing and managing your emotional triggers in response to a partner's distress.
• Practical tips for fostering personal growth while supporting a partner through their challenges.

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

• Get the FREE Family of Origin Roles Workbook: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/rolesworkbook/
• Family of Origin Series Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/58WZg044gbmGsL6iPNxXJy?si=bajzkF-kRxG3WL76yJL-qw
• Take the Family of Origin Role Quiz: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/rolesquiz/
• Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschool
• Links to research articles mentioned: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/what-to-do-when-your-partner-is-struggling-part-one/

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

• Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
• Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
• Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
• Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What if the key to deeper intimacy lies in understanding the echoes of our past? Dr. Alexandra Solomon sits with Christine Hassler, a Master coach, podcast host, and author, to discuss how our family of origin roles shape our present connections, emphasizing the importance of inner child work and relational self-awareness. Christine shares her journey through the unhealthy patterns that surfaced in her own relationship with her partner, Stef, offering a raw look at the necessity of self-reflection in cultivating healthier dynamics.

You'll come away from this episode with:

• A deeper understanding of how family of origin influences shape your current relationships.
• Practical strategies for engaging in inner child work to enhance self-awareness and relational dynamics.
• Insights into the importance of self-advocacy (especially as women!) and authentic communication in intimate partnerships.
• Perspective on how our professional roles and work offer yet another arena for us to notice and tend to old pain and create new ways of relating to ourselves and the world around us.

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

• Podcast - Life Coaching with Christine Hassler: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-coaching-with-christine-hassler/id1050321415
• Christine Hassler's The Women's Retreat in San Diego, Oct 17-19, 2025: https://christinehassler.com/womensretreat/
• “Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschool
• Couple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: http://pesi.com/dralexandra

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

• Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
• Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
• Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
• Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Anxiety is one of the most common emotional struggles today. Whether you have a formal diagnosis or are simply experiencing the symptoms, you are not alone. 

In this episode, Dr. Alexandra is joined by anxiety expert, therapist, and author Noelle McWard Aquino to talk about the three distinct root causes Noelle has identified and written about in her book Anxiety Unpacked. Together, they discuss which characteristics each type has and what core needs drive them. And most importantly, they discuss practical tools and strategies to help you find relief and peace, regardless of your anxiety type.

You’ll come away with this conversation with:

• A thorough overview of anxiety, with answers to questions that often come up such as: 

-What’s the difference between anxiety and intuition?

-Is it okay if I just avoid the things that make me anxious?

-How am I possibly going to change my behaviour when I feel as anxious as I do?

-Why do we have to deal with anxiety in the first place?

• The three root causes of anxiety, characteristics to identify each type, and strategies to manage each type
• Tips on what to do if you’re struggling with anxiety in your intimate partnership, and what to do if your partner is struggling with anxiety
• Validation on the experience of anxiety and a mindset shift to provide hope that you can find peace and calm 

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

• Learn more about Noelle McWard Aquino:

https://noellemcwardaquino.com/

• Anxiety Unpacked by Noelle McWard Aquino:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/anxiety-unpacked-noelle-mcward-aquino/a60a608d74e71afb?ean=9781960876904&next=t&

• “Your Anxiety Toolkit” on MasterClass:

www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkit

• Couple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: http://pesi.com/dralexandra

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

• Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
• Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
• Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
• Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Have you ever felt like your resilience is being pushed to its limits, especially in the chaotic and complex world we live in today? Dr. Alexandra sits down with organizational psychologist, researcher, and New York Times best-selling author Dr. Tasha Eurich to delve into the insights from her new book, Shatterproof: How to Thrive in a World of Constant Chaos (and Why Resilience Alone Isn’t Enough). In this conversation, they discuss the myths of resilience, as well as what a “resilience ceiling” is and how to identify when we’ve hit it. Most importantly, they talk about how to understand the limits of resilience so that we don’t, as Dr. Tasha would call it, “grit gaslight” ourselves when our usual coping strategies don’t work the way they used to.

You'll come away from this episode with:

• A clearer understanding of the limitations of resilience and how to identify when you’ve reached your 'resilience ceiling’.
• A renewed perspective on the importance of acknowledging struggles as part of personal growth and healing (stoicism isn't the answer here!).
• Practical strategies and tools to enhance your self-awareness and well-being, such as Dr. Tasha’s self-assessment for determining how much of our self-definition is about our work and ambition, and her 2-2-2 tool for managing overwhelm.
• Insights into the essential emotional needs that foster deeper connections in your relationships.

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

• The Resilience Ceiling Quiz

https://resilience-quiz.com/

• Shatterproof: How to Thrive in a World of Constant Chaos (And Why Resilience Alone Isn't Enough) by Tasha Eurich

https://bookshop.org/p/books/shatterproof-how-to-thrive-in-a-world-of-constant-chaos-and-why-resilience-alone-isn-t-enough-tasha-eurich/9f0e6a8876113ed0

• Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschool
• Couple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: http://pesi.com/dralexandra

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

• Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
• Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
• Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
• Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.