April 14, 2026

What If It’s Not “Settling”? Reimagining Acceptance

37 minutes

This solo episode is going to explore a fear that many of us carry inside our intimate relationships but rarely say out loud: the fear of settling. What is it? Where does it come from? And most importantly, what does it cost us? Dr. Alexandra will offer you a reframe that is both clarifying and hopeful. We are going to reimagine what acceptance actually means – not as a passive giving-up, but as one of the most powerful and underrated tools available to us in love.

In this episode, you will hear about:

The cost of comparison and how to shift from external comparison to internal reflection.

How the word “settling” is working against you.

What Acceptance is and is not, and how to determine whether you are acting in the spirit of acceptance or resignation.

How to tend to the grief that is often built into Acceptance.

Grab a pen and paper! Dr. Alexandra has included a writing exercise in this episode, designed to guide you towards acceptance - both of yourself and your partner.

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

Reimagining Love episodes: Relational Ambivalence: Should I Stay or Should I Go? Part 1 https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/relational-ambivalence-should-i-stay-or-should-i-go-part-1-rerelease/

Relational Ambivalence: Should I Stay or Should I Go? Part 2 https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/relational-ambivalence-should-i-stay-or-should-i-go-part-2-rerelease/

Inviting a Reluctant Partner into Relationship Work https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/inviting-a-reluctant-partner-into-relationship-work-re-release/

“I Think I’ve Outgrown My Relationship!” https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/i-think-ive-outgrown-my-relationship

Is There an “Effort Mismatch” in Your Relationship? https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/is-there-an-effort-mismatch-in-your-relationship

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274

Access Resources, like quizzes and courses: https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/resources

Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530

Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s Loving Bravely newsletter: https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/

Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Join Esther Perel's annual clinical conference Sessions Live 2026! Learn in person in Brooklyn, New York or virtually on May 15th and 16th. Use code SOLOMON50 for $50 off a virtual ticket or SOLOMON100 for $100 off in-person. Get your tickets at https://sessionslive2026.estherperel.com/

Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

...more

View all episodes

By Dr. Alexandra Solomon

4.9

278278 ratings