Jayson explores the dynamics of conflict avoidance and why so many people are scared to speak up. What childhood roots contribute to staying silent? Who are you really protecting when you avoid conflict? How does the fear of abandonment keep you quiet? Jayson also unpacks the role of differentiation in learning to bring things up with courage and clarity.

Timestamps:

• 0:44 - Conflict avoidance
• 1:28 - Childhood roots of being scared to speak up
• 2:33 - Who are you really protecting by avoiding conflict?
• 3:34 - Fear of abandonment
• 7:25 - Differentiation

Links:

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠
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Jayson unpacks the difference between secure attachment and falling in love. Can you have secure attachment in a brand-new relationship? Why do people often confuse the rush of falling in love with genuine security? When does the attachment system actually turn on? Jayson shares how to support clients who are navigating the complexities of new relationships.

Timestamps:

• 0:41 - Secure attachment in a new relationship?
• 2:28 - Confusing falling in love with secure attachment
• 4:09 - When does the attachment system turn on?
• 9:13 - Working with clients in new relationships

Links:

• ⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠
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Jayson explores why no one is truly broken. What should you do when a client feels like they are? Why can’t you get rid of any part of yourself - and why is that a good thing? Jayson explains why every part of you has value and how embracing all of yourself can be a powerful path to healing.

Timestamps:

• 1:12 - Why no one is broken
• 8:11 - What to do when a client feels broken
• 9:16 - You can’t get rid of any part of yourself
• 11:31 - You need all parts of yourself

Links:

• ⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠
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How should you coach men effectively? Jayson unpacks the impact of male social conditioning and what it means for therapy and coaching. What’s different about working with men in couples therapy? How can coaches help men break out of rigid gender roles without making them feel inferior?

Jayson also shares tips for navigating defensiveness and creating safety while challenging growth. Don’t miss this direct and practical episode on supporting men more skillfully.

Timestamps:

• 1:48 - Male social conditioning
• 7:30 - Men in couples therapy
• 10:37 - What to do differently when coaching men
• 21:42 - Escaping the gender straightjacket
• 26:05 - When you sense a man getting defensive
• 26:37 - Don’t make men feel inferior

Links:

• ⁠The Relationship School⁠
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Jayson dives into the challenge of getting over anger toward your parents. Did your parents drop the ball in ways that still affect you today? How does your past shape your present relationships? What does it actually look like to move from victim to author? And how do you know when you've truly let resentment go?

Jayson also explores why it’s important not to focus solely on the negative, how growth can happen through adversity, and the personal cost of holding on to anger. Don’t miss this powerful solo episode.

Timestamps:

• 1:50 - Did your parents drop the ball?
• 4:45 - Your past impacts your present
• 8:13 - Moving from victim to author
• 11:04 - How do you know when you’ve let resentment go
• 14:53 - Don’t solely focus on negatives
• 18:03 - Growth through adversity
• 20:53 - The personal cost of anger and resentment

Links:

• The Relationship School
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Christian Pankhurst joins Jayson to talk about group work. What does “healing” really mean? What do transformative arcs in group therapy look like? Should the facilitator be part of the group? Can group work replace one-on-one therapy? How can you stay well as a healer? How should facilitators deal with projection? Stay tuned until the end to hear Christian and Jayson share their self-care strategies.

Timestamps:

• 2:22 - Emergent group facilitation
• 3:48 - Is the facilitator part of the group?
• 8:48 - Transformative arcs in group therapy
• 13:37 - What does “healing” mean?
• 15:53 - Why group work?
• 25:52 - Group work vs one on one
• 30:59 - Staying well as a healer
• 40:09 - Dealing with projection as a facilitator
• 50:56 - Where to find Christian

Links:

• Upgrade Your Life & Relationships with Heart Intelligence | Heart iQ
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How should you coach someone whose partner isn’t doing the work? Jayson breaks it down. How should coaches and therapists get their clients to focus on themselves? Should clients leave or stay with an impossible person? Why is it so important for clients to have their feelings validated? How can you help your clients take responsibility for not speaking up? Don’t miss this insightful look at a difficult situation.

Timestamps:

• 1:18 - Coaching someone whose partner isn’t doing the work
• 4:47 - Getting clients to focus on themselves
• 8:47 - Staying with an impossible person
• 10:35 - Leaving an impossible person
• 15:00 - You need to have your feelings validated
• 20:35 - Helping clients feel the sharp edge of the knife
• 24:00 - Why do clients get defensive about the partner they’re criticizing?
• 25:00 - Coaching your client to ask their partner to change
• 31:21 - Helping your clients take responsibility for not speaking up

Links:

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Dr. Will Van Derveer joins Jayson to discuss the uses and misuses of psychedelic drugs. He shares his background, his work in integrative psychiatry, and the limitations of conventional mental health treatments. Dr. Van Derveer also explores the therapeutic potential of ketamine, MDMA, LSD, psilocybin, and more.

Are there people who shouldn’t use psychedelics? If you’re going to use them, what are some best practices? Don’t miss this enlightening episode.

Will Van Derveer, MD is a leader in the adoption of integrative psychiatry practices globally. After discovering that his conventional psychiatric training was inadequate to answer many of the challenges facing his patients, Dr. Van Derveer began to learn how to resolve the root causes of common psychiatric problems such as depression, anxiety, and insomnia.

Dr. Van Derveer has published research on MDMA-assisted psychotherapy for PTSD and written book chapters in the fields of ketamine-assisted psychotherapy and other clinical applications of psychedelic compounds. His passion is finding effective relief from psychological suffering using a vast array of the most natural approaches possible. In addition to traditional medical training, He is a meditation instructor and has trained in shamanism, EMDR, somatic experiencing, internal family systems, cognitive behavioral therapy, and hypnosis.

Timestamps:

• 1:09 - Will's journey
• 3:24 - Limitations of conventional mental health treatments
• 14:56 - Will's journey with psychedelics
• 22:16 - Ketamine
• 27:08 - MDMA
• 31:09 - Other psychedelics
• 42:20 - Jayson's experiance with psychedelics
• 46:02 - Problems in the psychedelics scene
• 57:02 - Psychedelics as part of a long-term treatment plan
• 1:00:00 - Who does NOT benefit from psychedelics?
• 1:04:00 - Tips for using psychedelics
• 1:07:00 - Where to find Will

Links:

• Will's Instagram
• Will's X
• ⁠Relationship Coach Training⁠
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Are you stuck in victimhood? Jayson breaks down how to invert the victim triangle and make the shift from victim to author. What’s the difference between blame and responsibility? Is being in the victim seat always a bad thing? Stay tuned until the end when Jayson shares one important question you should always ask your clients - and yourself.

Timestamps:

• 0:55 - The victim/drama triangle
• 5:08 - The difference between blame and responsibility
• 6:58 - Getting out of the victim seat
• 8:31 - Inverting the victim triangle
• 15:00 - Making the journey from victim to author
• 18:15 - One challenging question

Links:

• Relationship Coach Training
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What if today were your last day on Earth? Jayson is joined by author and retired Navy SEAL Commander Mark Divine for his 3rd time on the show to discuss finding your purpose on this planet, meditation vs. psychedelics, developing mental and physical toughness, and much more. Don’t miss Mark’s exhortation for coaches at the end.

Mark Divine is a retired Navy SEAL, bestselling author, and transformative thought leader, inspiring compassion, resilience, and fortitude. His distinguished military career spanned two decades with tours in Iraq, the Middle East, and the Korean Peninsula, culminating in his retirement in as a Commander. Beyond the battlefield, Mark founded SEALFIT, where he blends Navy SEAL training with innovative mental toughness and mindfulness techniques. Through the Unbeatable Mind program he has trained thousands in his "Kokoro" whole mind system, and through the Mark Divine Courage Foundation, he aids veterans seeking post-traumatic growth. Mark holds a PhD in Global Leadership from Pepperdine University and resides in Encinitas, California, with his wife, Sandy, and Husky Mahina.

Timestamps:

• 5:15 - Horizontal vs. vertical development
• 13:04 - The importance of training your body
• 19:06 - You are not your thoughts
• 24:08 - Vertical development takes time
• 29:24 - What are you on this planet for?
• 37:39 - Don’t feed the fear wolf
• 41:05 - Meditation vs psychedelics
• 45:33 - What if today is your last day?
• 48:48 - Why coaches need to be doing the work
• 56:53 - AI in coaching

Links:

• Mark Divine – Navy SEAL Speaker, Author, Founder of Unbeatable Mind
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