Talking points: mindset

This is something I’ve seen a LOT of men battle, and with no success—and I include myself in that. This week, I want to reframe the idea of self-worth and give you a few insights that will likely change the game for you. Dig in.

(00:00:00) - Reframing self-worth, and why many men struggle with it

(00:04:27) - Reasons why self-worth gets damaged 

(00:07:26) - You don’t build it by winning all the time; recognize effort instead. Here’s why it works

(00:12:00) - Release the beast from the basement

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Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Talking points: trauma, validation, mindset, relationships

Recently, I put out a call on Instagram: who wants to join me for a short, recorded Q&A. We had a TON of respondents, but I wanted to highlight four in particular that I feel are unique, but at the same time offer a window into what so many men endure. 

These are everyday men from completely different walks of life, all different ages, but united in a single fact: they’re doing the work. I’m deeply grateful to each of them for agreeing to be on the show. 

(00:00:00) - The story of S, six years sober, who struggles with people pleasing and feeling stuck

(00:16:04) - C’s struggle with internal validation and the relationship with his father

(00:35:15) - D’s working on feeling worthy, but his relationships have never felt safe or trustworthy

(00:56:47) - P wrestles with some of the contradictions in the self-help space and past trauma

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Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Talking points: mythology, masculinity, trauma

Myth isn't just old story. It's also a powerful way to frame the workings of the world, the mind, and everything in between. The story of Perseus is just one example of this, with insights on boyhood vs manhood, facing risk, and much more. Dig in.

(00:00:00) - Intro and the first lesson of the Perseus’ story

(00:06:09) - The second lesson

(00:09:36) - Lessons behind Perseus and Medusa

(00:16:09) - How the role of a mother and the initiation into manhood interact

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Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Talking points: masculinity, culture, gratitude, anger, poetry

I don’t typically get starstruck or awed in interviews, even though I’ve talked to many incredible people. But David? Well, he’s had an immense impact on my life, and so much of my work and way of thinking lives inspired by him. He joined me in Seattle and shared so much wisdom, beauty, and of course, poetry. Dig into this one.

(00:00:00) - What is the “conversational nature of reality”, why the unknown is so uncomfortable, and the fear of “descent”

(00:18:44) - How the need for control kills off meaning and purpose, and how real poetry and philosophy come from NOT knowing what to say

(00:25:53) - David reads “Blessing of the Morning Light”

(00:32:42) - How does a man start building a relationship to the unknown parts of himself, and David’s relationship with his father

(00:44:24) - The role of anger and the power of poetry

(00:56:16) - On forgiveness and male friendship

(01:31:57) - How do you properly thank someone who’s had a profound impact on you?

David Whyte is an internationally renowned poet and author, and a scintillating and moving speaker. Behind these talents lies a very physical attempt to give voice to the wellsprings of human identity, human striving and, most difficult of all, the possibilities for human happiness. He draws from hundreds of memorized poems, his own and those of other beloved poets such as Wordsworth, Emily Dickinson, Keats, Pablo Neruda, Fleur Adcock and the sonnets of Shakespeare. He is the author of ten books of poetry, three books of prose on the transformative nature of work; a widely-acclaimed, best-selling book of essays, and an extensive audio collection.

Connect with David

-Website: https://davidwhyte.com/

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/davidjwhyte/

-Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PoetDavidWhyte/

-YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@poetdavidwhyte

-SubStack: https://davidwhyte.substack.com/

***

Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Talking points: psychology, the shadow, attachment theory

Now there's a mouthful of psych words! All jokes aside, a Jungian perspective on attachment theory is a powerful combo. This week, I'm laying out a simple definition for the shadow and anxious attachment, and a straightforward way to begin the work yourself right away. Listen in.

(00:00:00) - A quick primer on anxious attachment and the shadow

(00:05:17) - The first thing you need to figure out, and some common causes of anxious attachment

(00:09:01) - Here’s where you begin exploring

(00:12:40) - What can happen in relationship as you start doing this work, and how to help that

(00:13:55) - A caveat for people with trauma or abuse in their past

***

Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Talking points: culture, masculinity

Broad-brushing things doesn't help us progress. Broad-brushing people is even worse. Young men are facing what feels to them a hostile landscape, and it's causing some serious issues. Listen in.

(00:00:00) - The abusive relationship analogy

(00:05:36) - Porn DOES contribute

(00:08:16) - The new narrative

(00:11:03) - Is there a more positive vision for men and masculinity? And a message to guys who are struggling

***

Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Talking points: mindset, attraction, relationships

I was surprised at the sheer volume of basic advice there is out there on being a more attractive man. This week, we're going to go a little beyond "hit the gym" and "smoke less". How do you build your attractiveness from the inside out AND stay authentically you? Listen in.

(00:00:00) - Be untameable—somewhat

(00:09:50) - Develop emotional sovereignty

(00:12:11) - Develop direction and discipline

(00:14:14) - Have some non-negotiables. Please.

(00:17:39) - Be unapologetically you. Note: this requires serious work on figuring out who you actually are

***

Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Talking points: masculinity, culture, race

It's always a highlight of my life speaking with Jason. This man and his tireless work shaping comprehensive, authentic men is nothing short of inspiring. Deeply grateful to have sat down with him to dig into the nuances of his new book (out Jan 28!), the manosphere, Black America, and what modern men miss out on. Listen. To. This.

(00:00:00) - How Jason’s environment shaped his perception of manhood, and the challenges of hypermasculinity

(00:11:02) - Jason’s take on the idea that men need to build value because they don’t have any inherently

(00:17:40) - What do young men find appealing about the manosphere, in spite of the reactivity and misogyny?

(00:23:39) - Why men don’t share their emotions with women, and what Jason wishes more non-Black men knew about growing up in Black America

(00:35:09) - Do men need extreme hardship in order to have self-respect?

(00:42:11) - On Jason’s new book and being a Comprehensive Man

(00:50:25) - What aspect of a comprehensive man is missing the most in modern culture?

Jason Wilson is the director of the Cave of Adullam Transformational Training Academy and bestselling author of Cry Like a Man and Battle Cry. Since 2005, Jason has been mentoring boys and young men, teaching them how to rise above life's inevitable challenges. His impactful work earned him the President's Volunteer Service Award from President Obama, and acclaimed actor Laurence Fishburne executive produced the award-winning ESPN Films documentary about Jason's work, titled The Cave of Adullam. He is a man of the Most High, a faithful husband to Nicole, and a devoted father to Alexis and Jason II.

Connect with Jason

-Website: https://mrjasonwilson.com/

-NEW Book: The Man The Moment Demands: https://mrjasonwilson.com/the-man-the-moment-demands/

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mrjasonowilson

-Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mrjasonowilson/

-YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MrJasonOWilson

***

Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Talking points: psychology

You've probably seen this idea floating around social media for a while, and it's a solid framework for healing. But what does it actually mean, how does it work, and is it worthwhile if you're a man? This week, let's talk about what inner child work entails.

(00:00:00) - “What’s hidden in the father is revealed in the son”, and what inner child work actually means

(00:10:10) - The main benefits of this kind of work, and where to start

(00:17:35) - Two useful journaling exercises, and how to “father yourself”

(00:24:23) - Next steps

***

Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Talking points: relationships, infidelity, betrayal

The damage from infidelity in a relationship can be complex, traumatic, and last far longer than you might think. What's more, there aren't a lot of men-specific resources out there. Fortunately Adam is changing that. If you or someone you know has experienced infidelity, strongly encourage you to share this one.

(00:00:00) - Why Adam wrote his book, and the stigmas men experience when they’re cheated on

(00:05:13) - How important is it that all parties see the part they may have played, and what NOT to do

(00:15:35) - What leads a woman to have an affair, what to do when you find out, and what happens to a man’s identity when betrayed

(00:26:10) - Navigating jealousy and grief

(00:40:27) - What’s possible in the reconciliation process?

(00:43:53) - On creating safety and repair after betrayal

Adam Nisenson, also known as the Betrayal Shrink, is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. He’s dedicated to helping men navigate the complex emotions and challenges of betrayal trauma. Adam understands firsthand what it’s like to be a betrayed partner, which gives him a unique perspective on how to support clients on their healing journey. He creates a safe and understanding space where clients can explore their feelings and work through their trauma with compassion and wisdom.

Adam graduated from Pacifica Graduate Institute with degrees in Marriage and Family Therapy, Professional Clinical Counseling, and Depth Psychology. He’s committed to addressing important issues like betrayal, infidelity, sex addiction, and the life challenges that come with them. With Adam, the journey isn’t just about recovery; it’s about personal growth and rediscovery.

Connect with Adam

-Book: A Man's Guide To Partner Betrayal: https://www.sanopress.com/books/mgtpb

-Website: https://betrayalshrink.com

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/betrayalshrink

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Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter