The Angry Therapist Podcast

We were handed a blueprint for what a “good life” is supposed to look like: fall in love, get married, buy the house, have kids, build a career, and stay together.

But what happens when you achieve the life you were supposed to want and realize it doesn’t actually feel like yours?

I talk about breaking away from inherited ideas of happiness, questioning the lives we’re maintaining simply because we’ve already spent years building them, and creating something more honest and customized.

I also answer questions about open relationships, getting over self-doubt after leaving a good person, and why a relationship can be meaningful without lasting forever.

I talk about:

• The blueprint we inherit for what a “good life” is supposed to look like
• Getting everything you were supposed to want and still feeling unhappy
• The difference between a good life and a life that actually feels like yours
• Redefining marriage, family, success, wealth, and commitment
• Breaking patterns and questioning what you’re maintaining simply because you’ve already built it
• Whether open relationships can work and what needs to be addressed before opening one
• Why changing relationship structures doesn’t automatically fix existing problems
• Getting over self-doubt after breaking up with a good person
• Why someone can be a good person and still not be your person anymore
• Letting relationships be meaningful without needing them to last forever

If you’re tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.

For 31 days, we’ll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership. Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.

Learn more and join here:https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way

🎙️ Connect with me:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298

My book publishing company, Soulprint:https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read my book in progress, Sht Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack:*https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available here:https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/

📘 Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose.:https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898

Follow me on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/

Find out more:https://www.theangrytherapist.com/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Being in love and loving someone aren’t always the same thing.

Being in love can be about chemistry, longing, fantasy, desire, and the way someone makes you feel. But loving someone asks something harder: can you keep seeing who they actually are as they change? Can you stay curious about the person they’re becoming instead of holding them to the version you first fell for?

In this episode, I talk about why intensity alone isn’t enough to build a life with someone, why long-term relationships can go through seasons where the love feels different, and why falling out of love doesn’t automatically mean the relationship is over.

I also get into what happens after betrayal when you’re still watching an ex’s life and waiting for them to suffer, fail, or finally understand what they did to you. At some point, healing means taking your attention back and putting it somewhere they no longer get to participate in.

And I answer one of the questions I hear most: how do you know whether your marriage is going through a hard season or whether the relationship is actually ending?

In this episode, I talk about:

• The difference between being in love and loving someone
• Why intensity and chemistry aren’t enough
• Loving someone as they grow and change
• Why we sometimes miss who we were in a relationship more than the person
• Three questions to ask when looking back on a past relationship
• Why falling in and out of love can be part of a long-term relationship
• How to stop making an ex’s life evidence for your own
• Why healing can require teaching your attention a new address
• The difference between a hard season and a relationship that may be ending
• Why movement, ownership, and changed behavior matter more than promises

Sometimes love isn’t about getting back to who you used to be together. Sometimes it’s about deciding whether you still want to know and choose the people you’re becoming.

If you’re tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.

For 31 days, we’ll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership. Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.

Learn more and join here:
https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way

🎙️ Connect with me:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298

My book publishing company, Soulprint:
https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read my book in progress, Sht Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack:*
https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available here:
https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/

📘 Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose.:
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898

Follow me on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/

Find out more:
https://www.theangrytherapist.com/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when one person is willing to grow and the other isn’t, why growth should be an invitation rather than an ultimatum, and why sometimes the most important thing your partner needs from you isn’t perfection — it’s your willingness to lean in.

In this episode, I sit down with Bryan Reeves to talk about what changes in the second half of life and why the rules that got us here may not be the same ones that carry us forward.

We also get into men’s loneliness, why so many men wait until life or a relationship falls apart before asking for support, and how the need to be the hero can keep us isolated.

We also talk about becoming fathers later in life, how pregnancy can expose old wounds and patterns in a relationship, and why presence may matter more than getting everything right.

In this episode, we talk about:

Thanks for listening. If something in this conversation makes you think of someone, send it their way.

Connect with Bryan Reeves:

Website: https://bryanreeves.com/

Book — Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her): https://bryanreeves.com/book

Love With Integrity Online Community: https://www.skool.com/lovewithintegrity

If you’re tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.

For 31 days, we’ll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership. Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.

Learn more and join here:
https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way

🎙️ Connect with me:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298

📚 My book publishing company, Soulprint:
https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📖 Read my book in progress, Sht Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack:*
https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist

Ready for deeper work? Check out my Secure Self course:
https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/

📘 Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose.:
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898

📱 Follow me on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/

🌐 Find out more:
https://www.theangrytherapist.com/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the life you spent years trying to build isn’t the life you want anymore?

For most of my life, I was trying to arrive somewhere - make more money, build the audience, get another book deal, buy the house, become somebody. There was always another number to hit, another door to get through, another version of myself I thought would finally let me exhale.

But lately, something has shifted.

In this episode, I talk about giving yourself permission to disappoint the person you used to be. Not because that version of you was wrong, but because you’re allowed to change. You’re allowed to outgrow the goals, identities, and plans that once made perfect sense.

I get into the difference between constantly becoming someone and actually experiencing your life, why ambition can be useful without being allowed to drive, and how easy it is to postpone happiness by attaching it to the next achievement, relationship, body, house, promotion, or milestone.

Maybe the question isn’t, “Where is all of this going?”

Maybe it’s, “Where can I go while I’m still here?”

I also answer an Ask Angry question about knowing when it may be time to leave a marriage - and why waiting for absolute certainty can keep us stuck much longer than we realize.

In this episode, I talk about:

Thanks for listening. If something in this episode hits you, pass it along to someone who might need it.

If you’re tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.

For 31 days, we’ll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership.

Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.

Learn more and join here:
https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way

🎙️ CONNECT WITH ME

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose
Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298

📚 My book publishing company, Soulprint
https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read my book in progress, Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack
https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist

🧠 Ready for deeper work? Check out the Secure Self course
https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/

📘 Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose.
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898

📱 Follow me on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/?hl=en

🌐 Find out more
https://www.theangrytherapist.com/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you know whether a relationship can last and when it might be time to leave? In this Therapy Thursdays episode, we take on your questions about conflict, attraction, exes, love languages and the hurt we carry into new relationships. There’s one question underneath many of them: are you working through what’s happening, or waiting for something to change?

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What matters more than love?

My answer is capacity.

I think we’ve wildly overestimated love’s ability to carry a relationship. You can love someone deeply and still lie to them, betray them, disappear when things get uncomfortable, refuse to look at yourself, or be unable to create a safe space for them. Love is a feeling. A relationship requires skills.

In this episode, I answer questions about what actually makes relationships work, how relationships change over time, and what it means to leave someone you still love. I also talk about social media, comparison, and how constantly looking at everyone else’s life can make us question our own.

I talk about:

● Why love alone isn’t enough to sustain a relationship

● Capacity, communication, accountability, and repair

● Why long-term relationships require us to grow and become someone we’ve never been before

● What happens when couples resist change and begin to drift apart

● How you can love someone and still know you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with them

● Why staying in a relationship out of fear can sometimes create more pain

● The difference between inspiration and inadequacy on social media

● How comparison can make you overlook the life you’re actually living

Thanks for listening. If any of these words help you or someone you know, pass them along.

If you’re tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.

For 31 days, we’ll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership. Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.

Learn more and join here: https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way

🎙️ Connect with me:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HERE

My book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read my book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on my SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when you decide an idea is worth pursuing, even when you don't know where it's going to take you?

Kelsey Crane joins me to talk about The Vanishing, her debut novel and the first book in The Exiles trilogy. We get into her journey from storytelling and gardening to writing a novel, why she chose to self-publish, what it feels like to reinvent yourself in your 40s, and the fear that comes with putting your work into the world.

We also talk about nature, creativity, climate change, the power of storytelling, and the idea that we're not defined by one story or one moment in our lives. Kelsey shares why she believes creating something for future generations can be a powerful source of motivation.

In this episode:

• Reinventing yourself in your 40s
• Writing your first novel
• The reality of self-publishing
• Fear and pushing through uncertainty
• Nature as a source of creativity
• Climate fiction and telling teenagers the truth
• Why it's okay to be a beginner
• Creating a legacy for future generations

Follow Kelsey and check out The Vanishing.

Guest links:

✨ The Vanishing novel: https://tr.ee/nhKDU8
✨ Shopify: http://bit.ly/4hmSopJ
✨ Goodreads: http://bit.ly/4fRbbs9
✨ Website: https://www.theexilesseries.com
✨ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/artforartssake

🎙️ Connect with me:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.HERE

My book publishing company, Soulprint:HERE

📘 Read my book in progress, Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack:HERE

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available:HERE

📘 Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose:HERE

📸 Follow me on Instagram:HERE

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Some of the hardest truths about relationships are the ones we spend the most time avoiding. I’m talking about the conversations that challenge the way we think about marriage, love, resentment, breakups, and even our own intuition.

I start with a controversial idea: I think marriages need to die. Not because divorce is the goal, but because long-term relationships can’t survive if the old version of the marriage is expected to stay the same forever. Growth asks us to let old dynamics end so a new relationship can be born.

I also answer some of your relationship questions about resentment, breakups, choosing the wrong partners, trusting your gut, and what happens when love activates old attachment wounds.

I talk about:

If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe for more conversations about relationships, healing, attachment, and personal growth. If this episode spoke to you, leave a comment and share it with someone who needs this reminder.

🎙️ Connect with me:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298

My book publishing company: Soulprint
https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read my book in progress, Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack:
https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available here:
https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/

Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose:
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898

Follow me on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/?hl=en

Find out more:
https://www.theangrytherapist.com/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, I reflect on what I’d tell myself 10 years ago about

Connect with me:

📘My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298

My book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read my book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on my SubStack https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available here. https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/ 

📘 My book, Break Up On Purpose: https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898

📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/theangrytherapist

🌐 Find out more: https://www.theangrytherapist.com/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you staying because you want to or because you’re afraid to leave? In this Therapy Thursdays, I answer your questions about fading attraction, slow-burn love, situationships, and healing after heartbreak. We also talk about what it takes to start liking yourself again. And before you decide there’s no spark, there’s one question worth asking yourself…

🎙️ Connect with me:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HERE

My book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read my book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on my SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices