Relationship Advice

By Thrive Therapy - Colter Bloxom, Lauren Mokarry, and Cayla BozovichSociety & Culture Health & Fitness Mental Health Relationships

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Relationship Advice episodes

October 26How to Identify & Heal From Toxic Abusive Relationships (TAR) with Dr. Jamie Star
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How do you distinguish between standard relational friction and a truly toxic, abusive environment?
In this episode, Colter Bloxom and Cayla Bozovich sit down with Dr. Jamie Star, founder of the STAR Network, to unpack the critical differences between a partner's protective moves in a negative cycle and characterological patterns of abuse. Dr. Jamie shares his personal journey through relational trauma, breaks down how childhood attachment styles shape codependency, and offers a path toward reclaiming safety. By shifting focus away from diagnosing a partner and toward trusting your body's somatic wisdom, this conversation helps you replace blame and confusion with internal clarity and grounded boundaries.

Main Talking Points:
• Differentiating Relational Cycles
• Defining Toxic Dynamics
• Unpacking Childhood Trauma
• Trusting Somatic Signals
• Reparenting Through Consistency
• Regulating Emotional Safety

Healing from relational trauma isn't about fixing an unresponsive partner; it's about anchored self-awareness and cultivating environments where you feel consistently safe, seen, and supported. True recovery begins when you stop looking outward for validation and begin honoring your own internal boundaries.
Connect with Dr. Jamie Star:
Dr. Jamie Star's Website: https://drjamie.com
STAR Network:'s Website: https://starnetwork.org
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Tanasi
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*If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠
review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren

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56 min
October 19You Don’t See What I’m Carrying
How often do we judge a partner’s apparent inaction while feeling entirely overwhelmed by our own stress?

When everyday household friction erupts into an argument, the conflict is rarely about time management—it is a cry to have our unseen emotional burdens recognized. In this episode, we unpack the hidden internal loads partners carry and explore how shifting from quick assumptions to compassionate curiosity transforms relational strain into deep connection.

Main Talking Points:
Uncovering Invisible Emotional Loads

Assessing Individual Daily Capacity

Replacing Assumptions With Curiosity

Validating Unseen Relational Strain

Respecting Varying Nervous Capacities

Connecting Beyond Full Understanding

You do not need to fully comprehend every detail of your partner's internal struggle to offer meaningful relief. Relational safety grows the moment you pause, validate their experience, and acknowledge the weight in each other's backpacks.

Give Me Discounts!
Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order!
Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order.

*If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren

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50 min
October 15 The Passion Triangle with Dr. Cheryl: QUICK ADVICE
⁠Click here to sign up for Relationship Academy
Ready for the next step? Choose your Passion Masterclass time and learn how to bring more connection, intimacy, and passion back into your relationship:
https://drcherylfraser.mykajabi.com/masterclass

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25 min
October 12The Difference Between Being Loved and Being Liked with Jonathan Van Viegen
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Can a marriage survive when love remains, but genuine likability has eroded?

In this episode, marriage and family therapist and author Jonathan Van Viegen joins us to explore why restoring mutual likability matters far more than obsessing over chore division or endless interrogation. We unpack how shifting from scarcity-driven "needs" to open "wants"—and balancing radical maturity with forgiveness—can transform relational injuries into lasting connection.

Main Talking Points:
Loving Versus Liking

Curiosity Over Resentment

Radical Behavioral Maturity

Navigating Forgiveness Journeys

Eliminating "Why" Interrogations

Reframing Needs To Wants
Rebuilding a thriving partnership isn't about perfection or scorekeeping; it's about showing up with the willingness to choose each other every day. Real connection unfolds when you trade defensive interrogation for curiosity and work together toward mutual abundance.

Connect with Jonathan Van Viegen:

Jonathan Van Viegen’s Book: Choosing Us https://jonathanvanviegen.com/book

Jonathan Van Viegen's Website: https://jonathanvanviegen.com

Give Me Discounts!

Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order!

Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order.

*If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
58 min
October 08Finding The One? Try Becoming The One: QUICK ADVICE with Monica Berg
Join our live coaching call tomorrow at 3pm EST for Relationship Advice listeners!
Click here to sign up. Today is the last day to get in at the founders rate!

Check out Monica's Masterclass
Follow Monica on instagram
Stop trying to “find the one” — focus on becoming the one.
A strong relationship starts with knowing yourself: your values, purpose, patterns, and who you want to become. The danger is expecting a partner or marriage to somehow complete your growth for you.

The right relationship should help you become more yourself, not less.
Monica’s Michelangelo vs. Golem distinction is probably the strongest concept in the episode: a healthy partner helps reveal a version of you that you also want to become. An unhealthy dynamic tries to sculpt you into the person they want you to be.

Relationship satisfaction has a lot to do with how we interpret our partner.
Early on, we naturally magnify the positive; later, we can start magnifying the negative. Healthy relationships require intentionally cultivating appreciation, challenging our assumptions, and reframing what’s happening instead of automatically concluding, “My partner is the problem.”

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25 min
October 05The Fight Is Not About The Fight
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Why do small everyday annoyances so easily turn into explosive arguments?

When couples get stuck in repetitive friction, the surface issue is rarely the real battleground. In this episode, we explore how superficial conflicts actually point to deeper emotional needs, and how stepping back allows you to move from defensive cycles into genuine connection.

Main Talking Points:
Underlying Relational Drivers

Power And Control

Closeness And Care

Respect And Recognition

Window Of Tolerance

Intention Versus Impact
True relational resolution isn't about winning an argument over surface logistics, but about creating enough safety to understand what is truly being triggered. When you look past the immediate friction, every conflict becomes an opportunity to deepen trust and mutual care.

Give Me Discounts!
Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order!
Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order.

*If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
52 min
September 28Why You Keep Having the Same Sex feat. Laurie Watson
Free 10 Day Couples Challenge

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Why do so many couples find themselves stuck repeating the same awkward sexual patterns or avoiding physical intimacy altogether?

True sexual connection isn't about forced perfection or quick mechanical fixes, but about building attachment security and communicating openly about your erotic mind. In this episode, Dr. Laurie Watson unpacks how to navigate desire discrepancies, tolerate vulnerability, and reframe sexual friction into deeper relational safety.

Main Talking Points:
Sex Therapy Beyond Mechanics

Tolerating Awkward Intimacy

Attachment In The Bedroom

Individuation Fueling Erotic Energy

Managing Desire Discrepancies

Debunking Common Sex Myths
Great sex doesn't require flawless performance, but rather the courage to tolerate anxiety, honor differences, and stay curious about one another. When you turn sexual friction into honest dialogue, awkwardness becomes a doorway to genuine connection.

Visit Dr. Laurie Watson's Website: https://www.lauriewatson.com

Give Me Discounts!
Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order!
Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order.

*If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
59 min
September 24Why You Keep Dating The Same Person In A Different Body: Dr. Gillian O'Shea Brown
Join Relationship Academy today for a complementary 1:1 with one of the hosts!
Right now, buy one pair of glasses and get 20% off any additional pairs at
WarbyParker.com/RELATIONSHIP

Dr. Gillian's Book!
We often repeat the same relationship pattern with different people because familiar pain can feel safer than uncertainty.

Noticing the pattern is the beginning of change—but lasting growth requires identifying the unmet need behind it.

The “erotic emotional map” helps reveal recurring dynamics by describing the qualities of past relationships.

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29 min
September 21Stop Taking Your Partner's Feelings Personally
Free 10 Day Couples Challenge

Try Relationship Academy

When your partner walks through the door in a bad mood, do you immediately wonder what you did wrong or rush to fix it?
Taking your partner's emotions personally turns their everyday stress into relational friction, forcing them to manage your reaction on top of their own feelings. In this episode, we unpack the shift from carrying emotional responsibility to offering true empathy, giving both of you permission to feel.
Main Talking Points:
Personalizing Versus Empathy

Unpacking Emotional Responsibility

Breaking Fixing Cycles

Tolerating Partner Discomfort

Reducing Emotion Layers

Frameworks Over Scripts
Secure relationships aren't built on avoiding uncomfortable feelings, but on cultivating the capacity to tolerate and hold space for them together. Real connection happens when you allow feelings to be felt without making them about you.

Give Me Discounts!
Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order!
Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order.

*If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
45 min
September 17 Quick Advice: HALT
Get The Founders Rate For Relationship Academy
Get $100 off Spark My Relationship

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19 min

About Relationship Advice

From the publisher's feed

Relationship Advice helps listeners uncover the stuck spots in their relationships by taking expert advice from three licensed professional counselors and boiling it down into digestible tips and tools. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren help people to see that the first step to connecting with somebody else is by connecting with you. They focus their show on understanding and navigating the cycles that couples face, how to practice individuation, and staying in an emotionally regulated state. Just them each week as they come with a jam packed agenda to help you thrive in your relationships.