The Overwhelmed Brain

Wanting different things than your partner (kids, stability, freedom) doesn't make you a bad person — it makes this relationship a system with incompatible "inputs." And if you feel torn or guilty about what to do, I've been there. And I'll walk you through the hard questions you need to ask before resentment becomes the default.

Life is really all about a series of decisions from moment to moment. Most are no-brainers: You know when to eat, for example. But others can literally be life-changing. And for those, being grounded and sure about your decision is the best place to be before making it.

Some conversations go down a path of dysfunction because one or both people refuse to be direct, or perhaps they're trying to manipulate to get a certain outcome. The head games that some people play are annoying and waste precious time that could be invested into the relationship instead of the toxicity.

If you feel stuck or awkward expressing emotions, I've been there! In this episode, I confront how avoidance, people-pleasing, fear of judgment, and more keep you emotionally distant from yourself and the people who want to connect with you.

Toxic, dysfunctional, and emotionally abusive behavior stem from the same foundational challenges in almost everyone. Learning what those challenges are and healing them can resolve carrying around years of future dysfunctional behavior.

What are the obstacles to peace, comfort, and happiness? You may be walking amongst people and things right now that are literally draining positivity from your life.

Sometimes what drives our decisions isn't necessarily what has our best interests in mind. Old survival mechanisms can be running the show, steering us into unfavorable outcomes without us even realizing it. Better outcomes require learning what exactly is driving our behaviors at the deepest level.

You're not crazy for feeling lonely in a relationship where schedules clash and one of you seems to be filling their time with other things to do. Hmm... what's really going on in this relationship. I answer a listener's question about this very thing in this episode, plus talk a little bit about minimizing and letting go of clutter and overwhelm.

Sarcasm can hide contempt while being disguised as humor. But, it can also bring humor to a difficult situation. Is there a limit to sarcasm and can it hurt relationships? Lots to discuss.

It might feel better not knowing the answers to some questions becuase, after all, knowing might mean you now have to do something about it. But when you don't ask the hard questions and don't talk about the hard stuff, life doesn't get any easier and the hard stuff never gets resolved.