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Why do avoidants seem hesitant to commit—even when things are going well?

In this episode of The Thais Gibson Podcast, Thais reveals the three hidden qualities every dismissive avoidant looks for before committing to a long-term relationship or deep friendship. These traits aren’t always spoken aloud, but they quietly determine whether the relationship feels safe and sustainable.

✔️ Why emotional acceptance is essential to avoidants (and how criticism shuts them down)

✔️ The importance of emotional stability—and how avoidants subtly test for it

✔️ How a strong sense of autonomy and independence is a non-negotiable for commitment

✔️ What not to do if you want to build trust with an avoidant partner

✔️ How to communicate your needs while honoring theirs

✔️ Why understanding these three traits can transform your relationship dynamic

If you’ve ever felt confused by an avoidant partner’s pullback or mixed signals, this episode gives you the roadmap to understanding their core needs—and deciding if you're aligned for the long haul.

Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School, best-selling author, and expert in reprogramming subconscious patterns. With a Ph.D. and over 13 certifications in modalities like CBT, Somatic Experiencing, and more, Thais has helped thousands transform their relationships and emotional lives.

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Does your dismissive avoidant partner actually care—or are they just keeping you around?

In this emotionally insightful episode of The Thais Gibson Podcast, Thais and co-host Mike DiZio break down 6 clear signs that a dismissive avoidant partner has developed real feelings for you. From subtle shifts in communication to the moments they begin to open up and meet your needs, you'll learn what to look for—and what it means.

✔️ How to tell when a dismissive avoidant is thinking about you all the time

✔️ Why they might feel the urge to pull back when things get close—and how that changes when they care

✔️ Signs of emotional vulnerability and gradual opening up

✔️ The unexpected moments of protectiveness that reveal affection

✔️ What it means when they begin accommodating your needs—despite internal resistance

✔️ Why the thought of losing you may be the biggest clue of all

This episode isn’t just about recognizing signs—it’s about deciding whether the connection you’re in has long-term potential and whether your needs are truly being met.

00:00 – Intro

05:06 – 1. If You're Thinking About the Person All the Time

09:41 – 2. You Might Feel the Need to Retract

18:15 – 3. You Notice Yourself Opening Up Little by Little

27:16 – 4. You Start Feeling Protective Over the Person

30:55 – DA’s and Words of Affirmation

45:34 – 5. You’ll Try to Accommodate Them by Meeting Their Needs

52:26 – Bonus — The Thought of Losing the Other Person Hurts

Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School, a best-selling author, and a globally recognized expert in attachment theory and emotional healing. With a Ph.D. and over 13 certifications, she’s helped thousands shift subconscious patterns and build lasting relationships.

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Do avoidants really fall in love—or are they just emotionally unavailable?

In this eye-opening episode of The Thais Gibson Podcast, Thais answers one of the most frequently asked questions in attachment theory: Can dismissive and fearful avoidants truly experience love? The answer might surprise you.

Through personal stories and client insights, Thais explains how the depth of love an avoidant can feel is directly tied to their ability to be emotionally vulnerable. Learn why some avoidants may only feel infatuation or superficial connection until they’ve done the deeper work—and how healing their attachment style can unlock the potential for lasting, unconditional love.

✔️ Why vulnerability is the gateway to deeper love

✔️ The difference between infatuation and emotional intimacy

✔️ How love evolves across the 6 relationship stages

✔️ What holds avoidants back from deep emotional connection

✔️ How to support your partner (or yourself) in building secure attachment

✔️ Why doing the work changes how love is experienced and expressed

Whether you’re dating an avoidant, recovering from a relationship, or healing your own patterns, this episode is your compassionate guide to love through the lens of secure connection.

Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School, best-selling author, and an expert in healing attachment wounds. With a Ph.D. and over a decade of experience in the field, Thais has helped over 70,000 students worldwide create empowered relationships and emotional freedom.

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Do you often feel intense emotional reactions but can’t always pinpoint why?

In this powerful episode of The Thais Gibson Podcast, Thais unpacks the 12 core wounds that most commonly affect individuals with a Fearful Avoidant attachment style—alongside the emotions they spark. Whether you identify as a Fearful Avoidant or love someone who does, this deep dive will help you understand, name, and ultimately transform the subconscious beliefs that cause inner turmoil and relational tension.

✔️ Why Fearful Avoidants tend to have the most core wounds of all attachment styles

✔️ How childhood trauma imprints emotional "landmines" in the subconscious

✔️ The top wounds—like I will be betrayed, I am bad, I’m unworthy—and their emotional patterns

✔️ What subconscious emotions are really trying to tell you

✔️ How core wounds like I am unsafe, I am stupid, and I’ll be attacked show up in adult relationships

✔️ The link between shame, hypervigilance, emotional outbursts, and perfectionism

This episode offers a clear, compassionate guide to recognizing your pain points so you can finally start to heal them at the root.

Thais Gibson is the co-founder of The Personal Development School, a best-selling author, and a leading voice in attachment theory and emotional healing. With a Ph.D. and over a decade of experience, she’s helped over 70,000 students in 120+ countries reprogram their subconscious patterns and build thriving relationships.

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What happens when a dismissive avoidant and a fearful avoidant are in a relationship?

This dynamic can be one of the most intense and emotionally turbulent attachment pairings due to conflicting needs, emotional push-pull behaviors, and deep-rooted fears around intimacy and abandonment. In this episode of The Thais Gibson Podcast, we explore the key challenges, patterns, and strategies for building a healthier connection between these two avoidant attachment styles.

✔️ Why the fearful avoidant switches between anxious and avoidant behaviors in this pairing

✔️ How the dismissive avoidant’s emotional withdrawal triggers the FA’s fears

✔️ The push-pull cycle and why these relationships feel unstable

✔️ How both partners can meet each other’s emotional needs without overwhelming themselves

✔️ Key communication strategies to break the cycle of conflict and emotional shutdown

✔️ How to bring more security into the relationship for lasting connection

If you've ever wondered, “Why does this relationship feel so intense yet so distant at the same time?”, this episode will help you understand the dynamic and how to create a healthier balance between independence and connection.

Thais Gibson is the co-founder of The Personal Development School, a best-selling author, and a leader in personal development. With a Ph.D. and over 13 certifications in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Somatic Experiencing, and more, Thais has helped thousands transform their relationships and emotional well-being.

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#attachmentstyles #dismissiveavoidant #fearfulavoidant #relationshipdynamics #attachmenttheory #selfhealing #personaldevelopment #relationshipadvice

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How does no contact affect different attachment styles?

No contact can be an effective strategy after a breakup, but how it works depends entirely on your ex’s attachment style. While anxious, dismissive avoidant, and fearful avoidant attachment styles all process breakups differently, understanding their patterns can help you navigate your healing journey—and even recognize signs that they may still be thinking about you.

✔️ How anxious, avoidant, and fearful avoidant exes respond to no contact

✔️ The timeframes when each attachment style starts processing the breakup

✔️ Why anxious exes reach out quickly, while dismissive avoidants take longer

✔️ Signs your ex is regretting the breakup, missing you, or re-evaluating their decision

✔️ When to extend or break no contact based on their attachment style

✔️ How to use this time to heal and shift into a more secure attachment style

If you’ve ever wondered, “Is no contact working?” or “Will my ex reach out?”, this episode will help you understand their attachment-based response and what it means for your relationship dynamics.

Thais Gibson is the co-founder of The Personal Development School, a best-selling author, and a leader in personal development. With a Ph.D. and over 13 certifications in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Somatic Experiencing, and more, Thais has helped thousands transform their relationships and emotional well-being.

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Dismissive avoidants can seem emotionally shut down—but there is a way in.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in a relationship where the other person won’t open up, especially if they’re dismissive avoidant, this episode of The Thais Gibson Podcast is for you. Thais shares the top 3 proven ways to gently support a dismissive avoidant in letting down their emotional walls—without pushing, overgiving, or losing yourself in the process.

✔️ How asking specific—not general—questions creates space for meaningful sharing

✔️ Why emotional safety and non-judgment are essential to helping a DA open up

✔️ The power of validation, empathy, and simply remembering small details

✔️ How to express your needs without sounding critical or shaming

✔️ The role of acceptance and consistency in building long-term trust

✔️ Why dismissive avoidants often test the waters before becoming emotionally vulnerable

If you’ve ever wondered, “What can I do to connect with a dismissive avoidant partner—or know if it’s even worth it?”, this episode will offer clear, actionable tools to deepen emotional intimacy and assess relationship alignment.

Thais Gibson is the co-founder of The Personal Development School, a best-selling author, and a leader in personal development. With a Ph.D. and over 13 certifications in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Somatic Experiencing, and more, Thais has helped thousands transform their relationships and emotional well-being.

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Why is the anxious + fearful avoidant dynamic so intense—and so difficult to navigate?

This powerful pairing is often filled with deep emotional connection, high sensitivity, and equally high volatility. In this episode of The Thais Gibson Podcast, Thais explores the unique challenges and emotional cycles that define this dynamic—and provides clear guidance on how to move toward emotional security and lasting love.

✔️ Why this dynamic often begins with fireworks but ends in chaos

✔️ The core wounds of both anxious and fearful avoidant attachment styles

✔️ How triggers like abandonment, betrayal, and feeling trapped play out over time

✔️ Unhealthy coping mechanisms to avoid—and what to do instead

✔️ How to communicate with vulnerability, validate each other, and avoid conflict escalation

✔️ Concrete tools to self-soothe, break codependent cycles, and build trust

✔️ How to maintain connection even when core wounds are activated

If you've been in an anxious/fearful avoidant relationship—or are navigating one now—this episode will help you feel seen, supported, and equipped to move toward a healthier relationship foundation.

Thais Gibson is the co-founder of The Personal Development School, a best-selling author, and a leader in personal development. With a Ph.D. and over 13 certifications in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Somatic Experiencing, and more, Thais has helped thousands transform their relationships and emotional well-being.

💡 Take the Free Attachment Quiz:

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Dismissive avoidants can be hard to read—but the signs are there.

Dismissive avoidants often hide their feelings, leading many to assume they aren’t interested at all. In this episode of The Thais Gibson Podcast, Thais breaks down 7 subtle yet clear signs a dismissive avoidant actually DOES like you, so you can finally stop second-guessing their behavior and understand the true indicators of interest.

✔️ Why dismissive avoidants may seem distant even when they’re into you

✔️ How consistency is one of the first hidden signs of interest

✔️ Why clearly communicated needs—especially stated in the positive—get results

✔️ How and when dismissive avoidants actually do open up emotionally

✔️ Why they need more space—and how asking for it can be a sign of care

✔️ The real meaning behind “I enjoy spending time with you”

✔️ When they start including you in their inner circle and introducing you to friends

If you’ve ever been left wondering, “Do they like me or not?”, this episode will help you confidently read between the lines and understand how avoidants express genuine interest—even if it’s not always in the most obvious way.

Thais Gibson is the co-founder of The Personal Development School, a best-selling author, and a leader in personal development. With a Ph.D. and over 13 certifications in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Somatic Experiencing, and more, Thais has helped thousands transform their relationships and emotional well-being.

💡 Take the Free Attachment Quiz:

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📖 Learning Love Book – The guide to healing attachment wounds:

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