I can’t believe I’m about to say this (well, I actually can) but…

WELCOME TO THE 200TH EPISODE OF UNF*CK YOUR RELATIONSHIPS!

Fuuuck, has this been a JOURNEY. Most podcasts don’t even break double digits, let alone triple, let alone hit fucking 200. Can I just take a second to brag on myself? Way to go, Michelle. I’m so proud of you.

And I’m proud of YOU, my loves; every single one of you that has shown up wanting to do the work. Wanting to learn. Wanting to reconnect to yourself and to others. I see you. I’m so fucking proud of you for being here.

You’ve given me the gift of my dream come true…so I want to give something back today. I reached out and asked for your relationship situations you could use a little coaching on, and you all DELIVERED. 

Today, we’re playing a little game called TRUTH OR TRIGGER. Let’s see if those stories you’re telling yourself about your relationships are ACTUALLY the truth…or a story your triggers are trying to disguise as the truth.

WORK WITH MICHELLE: 

These aren’t just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD. Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out: https://michellepanning.com/awakening 

Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning

Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

So. Let’s review.

You’re a high-achieving, self-aware woman. You’ve clocked your patterns and traced them back to their cause. You’ve been in therapy. You’ve read the books. You’ve listened to the podcasts. You’ve done breathwork, meditation, EFT tapping, all the things…

And you haven’t made any real fucking progress.

Why? Why have you done all the things, but aren’t getting “better?”

Because mindset work isn’t enough.

Because awareness without embodiment is just you doing mental cartwheels AROUND your trauma, not actually integrating it.

Let’s talk about how to fix that.

WORK WITH MICHELLE: 

Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a shadow work course for the woman who is ready to break free from the anxious/avoidant dance in relationships and step into unfuckwithable confidence, security, and self-worth: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman

Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning

Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

When I tell you this particular guest of mine is one of the most joyous, radiant, embodied women that I know…I hope you know that I fucking mean it. And I’m not just saying it because she’s my client.

Meet Chené O’Brien: a client of mine, an embodiment coach, and the owner of the hottest f*cking accent ever.

Chené’s healing journey started from a place of constant self-abandonment…but she clocked that pattern, embraced the pieces of herself that kept trying to throw her needs to the curb, and is now out here helping others connect to their own embodied wisdom.

Her story brought me to tears. Genuinely. And now it’s your turn. So without further ado…let’s turn the mic over to Chené, shall we?

WORK WITH CHENÉ:

Want to work with Chené? Uh, yeah you fucking do. Head to her website now to get started: https://embodieddelight.carrd.co/

CONNECT WITH CHENÉ:

Follow Chené on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/embodied_delight?igsh=MTFpM2pnNHZiMzJ2MQ==

WORK WITH MICHELLE: 

Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a shadow work course for the woman who is ready to break free from the anxious/avoidant dance in relationships and step into unfuckwithable confidence, security, and self-worth: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman

Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning

Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

It all happens so fast.

One minute you’re living your best life. You’re hitting the gym. You’re journaling. You’re doing your embodiment practices. You’re going out with your friends. You’re going on solo dates. You have hobbies that you love…

And then you meet someone.

It is astonishing how QUICKLY I’ve seen women go from their glow-up era to “Wait, did I say the right thing? Did I mess up? Oh, he wants to hang out Friday—I’d better cancel my plans. Did that come across as too needy? Was I too much? What if he—”

GIRL. TAKE A BREATH.

Even when you’re a self-aware human, it’s easy to get swept up in the excitement of a new relationship. You can easily end up abandoning yourself without even realizing it’s happening…because when it does happen, it isn’t anything catastrophic. It just…happens. A little here. A bit more there.

Until suddenly, when something finally goes wrong in the relationship and you bother to look up at your life for the first time in a while, you realize that you don’t even recognize the person you’ve become.

But WHY do we do this—and how can we stop?

WORK WITH MICHELLE: 

Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a shadow work course for the woman who is ready to break free from the anxious/avoidant dance in relationships and step into unfuckwithable confidence, security, and self-worth: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman

Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning

Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

Everybody talks about wanting a man who COMMUNICATES, who’s HONEST, who CHOOSES YOU wholeheartedly…

Until one actually shows up. And you go running like your f*cking ass is on fire.

If you grew up without a secure attachment, your brain is wired to read insecurity as desirable. Which means your brain basically can’t tell the difference between a bear attack and a man telling you he really, really likes you.

Sound ridiculous? Yeah, no f*cking kidding. But it’s true. And until you learn how to teach it otherwise, you’re going to keep treating every emotionally available man like he’s trying to eat you…and not in the fun way.

So. Let’s get you recalibrated, shall we?

WORK WITH MICHELLE: 

Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a shadow work course for the woman who is ready to break free from the anxious/avoidant dance in relationships and step into unfuckwithable confidence, security, and self-worth: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman

Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning

Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

If you’ve ever been ugly crying into your pillow, your chest aching like someone f*cking ripped your heart out, and said to yourself, “What the FUCK? I should be over this by now!”

…Then this episode is for you, babe. Welcome to the fucking club.

I’ve worked with hundreds of women, and all of us—including me—have experienced a similar feeling while going through a breakup: the feeling that we’re taking too long to heal. That we “should have been over this by now.” 

Yeah, so, bad news…grief doesn’t give a shit about your schedule. You try to tell it that you’re on Step 5 of your healing journey, so it’s time for it to see itself out? It’s going to tell you to fuck off with its WHOLE chest.

Healing isn’t pretty. It isn’t quick. Hell, it doesn’t even go in a straight line.

But it does happen…even if you can’t tell it’s happening. Let me tell you how healing ACTUALLY works.

WORK WITH MICHELLE: 

Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a shadow work course for the woman who is ready to break free from the anxious/avoidant dance in relationships and step into unfuckwithable confidence, security, and self-worth: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman

Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning

Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

Do you ACTUALLY want him…

Or does he just trigger your daddy wound?

Ouch, right? But we really need to talk about it. 

I was the QUEEN of daddy issues once upon a time. So trust me when I say I get exactly how addictive this pattern can be…and how f*cking fast we need to clock it, own it, and clean it tf up.

If you’re always dating the guy who’s hot and cold with you, the guy who’s there one second and gone the next, the guy whose attention and love you need to EARN…

Congrats. You’ve probably got a gaping daddy wound that needs some stitching up…and this is where it starts.

WORK WITH MICHELLE: 

Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a shadow work course for the woman who is ready to break free from the anxious/avoidant dance in relationships and step into unfuckwithable confidence, security, and self-worth: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman

Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning

Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

This one’s going to sting, loves…

But we need to talk about feminine energy.

Specifically, we need to talk about performative feminine energy.

We’re seeing a huge resurgence in embracing feminine energy…and that’s fucking amazing. We love to see it. But with that resurgence, I’m also seeing an upswing in people mistaking performative femininity for actual feminine embodiment.

And if you don’t know the difference (or don’t know shit about the feminine, period) don’t stress. We’re going to fix that right tf now.

WORK WITH MICHELLE: 

Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a shadow work course for the woman who is ready to break free from the anxious/avoidant dance in relationships and step into unfuckwithable confidence, security, and self-worth: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman

Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning

Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

“You’re too much.”

“You’re too emotional.”

“Your standards are too high.”

“You’re too picky.”

“You’re asking for too much.”

RED LIGHT, babe. Hold tf up.

Listen to me very, very, very closely.

You are not too much.

“But Michelle, they said—” I don’t give a shit.

“But Michelle, I asked for—” Did I fucking ask?

You are not too much. Period. Done. End of conversation. 

And if people keep telling you you’re “too much” then…maybe the problem isn’t you.

Maybe the problem is that you keep dating the wrong people.

WORK WITH MICHELLE: 

Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a shadow work course for the woman who is ready to break free from the anxious/avoidant dance in relationships and step into unfuckwithable confidence, security, and self-worth: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman

Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning

Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

I hope you have a mirror on hand, babe…because you’re about to take a good, long, hard look at yourself in it.

Here’s the thing: if you feel like you’re always attracting the same emotionally unavailable men, I have good news and bad news.

The good news? It’s not bad luck—you’re not just shit at picking men.

The bad news? It’s actually wired into you to want these kinds of men.

“Wait, that sounds worse!” Yeah…sorry. But it’s true. This pattern is wired into your system…and until you figure out how to get the wires uncrossed, you’re going to keep repeating that pattern.

But I have more good news—and more bad news.

There is a way to break this pattern…if you sit down and acknowledge the actual common denominator in all of your failed relationships.

You.

WORK WITH MICHELLE: 

Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a shadow work course for the woman who is ready to break free from the anxious/avoidant dance in relationships and step into unfuckwithable confidence, security, and self-worth: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman

Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning

Website: http://www.michellepanning.com