The inner critic and negative self-talk often feels like our own voice, but many of its harsh words aren’t truly yours. In this episode, I unpack how limiting beliefs get handed down through parents, teachers, and society, and how even one painful comment can loop in the mind as self-criticism. You’ll also learn how projections shape the way you see yourself and others, and I’ll guide you through a simple questioning process to dismantle unhelpful beliefs so you can move toward a kinder inner dialogue.

In this episode, you’ll:

• Discover how the inner critic is formed and why it speaks so harshly.
• Learn how projections influence your beliefs about yourself.
• Explore a practical questioning process to dissolve negative self-talk.

Go Deeper:

Join me in the Becoming Secure women's membership. Tools, teachings, and practices to do the inner work, and Heal Anxious Attachment 🧡

Trauma isn’t only about life-threatening events, it’s also the smaller wounds and unmet needs that shape how we think, feel, and protect ourselves.

In this episode, we explore the layers of the mind (conscious, subconscious, unconscious), the difference between Big T and Little T trauma, and the trauma response or defense systems that develop as a result.

You’ll learn how the body holds these memories and why healing through somatic work can feel surprisingly safe and natural.

Go deeper inside Becoming Secure. A high-touch Women's Group with live workshops and Q&A calls, somatic healing videos, accountability for your personal growth, and a place where you'll immediately remember that you're not the only one going through this 🧡

Join the Becoming Secure membership here. 7 Day Free Trial. Monthly subscription and cancel easily, anytime.

Your body has a default survival pattern like fight, flight, freeze, and fawn which shape how you respond to stress, emotions and triggers. In this episode, you’ll learn how to recognize these patterns, understand your “window of tolerance,” and work with your nervous system to feel calmer and more in control.

By the end you'll

• Understand the four core survival responses and how they can show up in subtle, everyday behaviors.
• Learn what the “window of tolerance” is and why it’s essential for emotional and nervous system health.
• Discover practical tools to move from anxiety back into calm.

Resources Mentioned:

Join my Becoming Secure women's group for 30 Days of Somatic Practices, and monthly live workshops and coaching calls.

Connect with me on Instagram, I love receiving your messages 💖

One of the most powerful things you can do on your healing journey is get good at knowing and trusting what you need — not what you were told to need, not what you think you should need, but what your body and heart are truly craving.

This episode answers a question from a Becoming Secure Community Member who asked: “How do I even know what my core needs are? And once I do… how can I meet them on my own?”

Together, we explore:

• Neediness versus Needs
• When to meet your own needs and when to ask for your needs to be met
• Discovering your deeper emotional or relational needs
• How to reconnect to your needs through your body
• Core needs in the realms of intimacy, sex, safety, self-expression, and relationships
• The connection between your needs and your values

This episode also includes a somatic practice to help you tune in and feel your needs rather than just think about them. You’ll walk away with clarity, direction, and a deeper sense of connection to your inner world.

Resources Mentioned:

Quiz - Which Anxious Attachment Type Are You?

Becoming Secure Community - Course + Community + Coaching

In this episode, I’m talking about why receiving often feels uncomfortable — especially for women with anxious attachment — and how this survival pattern shows up in your body and your relationships.

We’ll explore:

• Why high-functioning women resist support
• The somatic signs you’re in survival mode
• How childhood patterns shaped your ability to receive
• What it really takes to let love land

And if you’re ready to shift this not just in your mind, but in your body — join me for my upcoming live workshop: Held – Letting Love In. In the Becoming Secure Membership.

In the workshop we go deep into the somatic healing needed to turn off survival mode and turn on your capacity to receive.

You never “need” anything. But underneath, you’re anxious, and wishing to feel more held.

In this episode, we explore what happens when high-functioning anxiety plays out in relationships — from early dating to long-term partnership.

And most importantly, how it impacts your ability to be met, supported, and chosen.

You’ll hear:

• Why overfunctioning can push love away — even when your intentions are pure
• How emotional management erodes polarity and leads to mothering
• The kinds of men we attract when we’re performing vs. when we’re rooted in self
• And what to practice instead — so you stop chasing safety and start receiving love

If you’ve ever said “I did everything and he still pulled away, why wasn't I enough?” this episode is for you.

WORK TOGETHER 🧡

🌻 🫳🏼 BECOMING SECURE MEMBERSHIP COMMUNITY - Course + Coaching + Community

📲 Find me on Instagram

You look like the woman who has it all together — grounded, reliable, composed.

But underneath? You’re feeling urgent, worried, and overthinking. Managing everything. And maybe quietly unraveling.

This episode is for the high-achieving, high-functioning woman who knows something feels off but can't break through on it.

We’re talking about the kind of anxiety that hides behind performing calm.

Inside, we’ll explore:

• What high-functioning anxiety really is — and how it hides in plain sight
• How emotional repression becomes self-abandonment
• The signs your body is waving the white flag (even if your mind won’t admit it)
• What your nervous system is actually craving
• Why healing requires more than just self-awareness

If you’ve been doing all the “right” things but still feel disconnected from yourself… this one will land.

Resources Mentioned:

🔗 Join the Becoming Secure Membership for access to 30+ guided somatic practices, monthly coaching calls, and high touch support from me.

📲 Message me on Instagram

❓ Take the Which Type of Anxious Attachment Are You? quiz

We talk so much about how anxious attachment plays out in romance—but what about friendship?

If you’ve ever felt too sensitive, too intense, or too dependent in friendships—or you’ve abandoned them for romance—this conversation is for you.

In this episode, I explore the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways anxious attachment shows up in our platonic connections: overthinking texts, people-pleasing, jealousy, and the pain of feeling replaceable. We also look at deeper patterns—like recreating dynamics with your mother or sister, using male friendships as emotional placeholders, and disappearing from your friends when a new love interest enters the picture.

Go beyond understanding your patterns and actually start healing them at the root, come join us inside my membership, Becoming Secure. You’ll get nervous system-based tools, somatic practices, and community support to help you feel safe, grounded, and secure in love and life.

⏱️ Timestamps

Note: These are approximate and meant to help listeners follow the flow.

00:00 – Intro & why this topic matters

02:15 – What anxious attachment in friendship actually looks like

05:50 – How to tell if you're over-functioning or emotionally over-relying on a friend

09:30 – The mother/sister dynamic in female friendships

13:20 – Male friendships as placeholders for father wounds

16:45 – The quiet pattern of abandoning your friends for romance

20:30 – Self-reflection and starting to shift these patterns

23:00 – Invitation to go deeper inside Becoming Secure

If you’ve ever felt guilty for having needs, setting boundaries, or taking up space—this episode is for you.

We’re unpacking the kind of guilt that doesn’t come from doing something wrong, but from trying to stay safe.

For those of us with anxious attachment, guilt can feel like a constant hum in the background—shaping our choices, silencing our truth, and keeping us small.

In this episode, I’m diving into:

• The difference between true guilt, false guilt, and shame
• How guilt shows up in anxious attachment
• How to heal unhelpful guilt responses on a nervous system level
• What it really looks like to forgive yourself and move forward

Also mentioned:

The Becoming Secure Membership

Hang on Instagram:

@johhhannamaria

After a breakup, it’s easy to feel lost—like you don’t even recognize yourself anymore. In this episode, we’re diving into how to reconnect with you after a relationship ends.

We’ll explore what that relationship revealed about you, where you may have lost yourself, and the moments that felt out of alignment. I’ll guide you through ways to help you reclaim your identity and step back into your truth.

Connect with me on Instagram @johhhannamaria. Please send me a DM letting me know that you're coming from the podcast! 🧡