The Love Doc Podcast

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. 

Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

Episode 18: "How to Handle the Haters." Dr. Hensley and co-host Raina Butcher respond to their first negative podcast review. The criticism accused them of only discussing heterosexual relationships and being overly focused on their Christian faith. Dr. Hensley addresses this by clarifying that attachment theory is a universal framework, unaffected by gender or sexual orientation. Whether in same-sex or opposite-sex relationships, attachment behaviors remain consistent. Though both women have shared their own experiences as heterosexuals, they emphasize their inclusivity of all genders and sexual orientations.

Raina also humorously addresses a claim in the review regarding her husband’s influence over her reproductive choices, setting the record straight that such decisions are entirely her own. Both hosts laughed at the assumption and used the moment to assert their independence.

The episode then tackles the criticism about the role of Christianity in their podcast. Dr. Hensley acknowledges her faith but explains that she provides both spiritual and secular approaches in her coaching, respecting the beliefs of her clients. She asserts that while her faith is part of her identity, it doesn’t dictate her coaching unless requested by the client.

The conversation then shifts toward how to handle negative comments or "haters" in general. Dr. Hensley ties this to attachment security, highlighting the importance of not internalizing others' judgments. She shares personal stories of dealing with criticism and emphasizes the power of showing up authentically. She explains that secure attachment allows people to accept rejection without it affecting their self-worth, and that curiosity toward others' negative behavior can often reveal their own insecurities and pain. The episode concludes with Dr. Hensley’s advice: Don’t let the haters dictate your emotional state, and choose joy despite negativity. By embracing secure attachment, listeners can free themselves from being offended by the ignorance and hate of others. 

Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media.

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/

Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout

Tik-Tok: the_dating_decoder

Instagram: @the_dating_decoder

Facebook: The Dating Decoder

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

What is covered:

·        The negative review and how it affected both Raina and Dr. Hensley.

·       Setting the record straight on the comments in the negative review. 

·       How attachment insecurites are not gender specific, nor sexual orientation specific. 

.       How Dr. Hensley approaches her Chritian perspective within her practice. 

.        The importance on achieving your attachment security when dealing with haters and/or offensiveness. 

Consider/Ask Yourself

·       How are you allowing others to dictate your joy based on what they may say or think about you?

·       How often are you allowing people who may differ from you to offend you?

.       How can you lean into people with more curiosity versus reactivity? 

·       Are you allowing someones narrative of you to ruminate in your own thoughts? 

.       Do I need Dr. Hensley and her resources to achieve my attachment security?  

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. 

Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

Episode 17: "Post Separation Abuse." In this deeply personal and raw episode, Dr. Hensley and co-host Raina Butcher delve into the harrowing reality of post-separation abuse, particularly when children are involved. They shed light on the abuse that often continues long after separation or divorce, manifesting in ways that are often overlooked or misunderstood by the justice system.

Dr. Hensley and Raina draw from their own experiences, providing a candid discussion on how the justice system failed them in the aftermath of their separations from their children’s fathers. They recount how the courts, lacking proper professionals equipped to handle the emotional complexities of post-separation dynamics, tend to revictimize families. The episode explores the challenges surrounding child custody, time-sharing, and financial arrangements, revealing how the system frequently falls short of protecting those most vulnerable—especially the children.

Challenging common misconceptions, Dr. Hensley debunks the notion that post-separation abuse is solely a male-to-female phenomenon. She highlights cases where women are the abusers post-separation, suggesting that in these instances, they may have been the abusers during the relationship as well. This perspective invites listeners to rethink the narratives often presented in cases of domestic and post-separation abuse.

The discussion then turns to reactive abuse, where Dr. Hensley explains how extreme stress and provocation can drive individuals to act violently, often in ways that are completely out of character. This phenomenon, she argues, is a critical aspect of understanding the dynamics of abusive relationships and the fallout that can occur even after separation.

The impact of post-separation abuse on children is a central theme in the episode. Dr. Hensley emphasizes the long-term effects on children who are used as pawns in their parents' conflicts, which can lead to significant emotional and psychological problems as they grow up. She explores the psychology of abusers, who often manipulate reality to the point of believing their own lies, perpetuating a cycle of abuse that can have devastating consequences for their children.

Dr. Hensley also distinguishes between attachment issues and personality disorders, such as narcissism, explaining how the latter can make co-parenting nearly impossible. She argues that the court system is often ill-equipped to recognize these psychological nuances, leading to decisions that may not be in the best interest of the children. The episode underscores the need for professionals trained in psychology, rather than solely relying on legal experts, to make informed decisions in family court cases.

As the episode draws to a close, Dr. Hensley and Raina discuss the deep injustices within the family court system, particularly the ease with which false allegations can be weaponized to alienate and control. Raina shares her own painful experience of being falsely accused, detailing the profound impact it had on her and her young son.

 In the final segment, Dr. Hensley advocates for systemic change, calling for the inclusion of doctorate-level professionals, skilled in psychological assessment, in family court proceedings. The episode concludes with a powerful message: the ultimate goal must be to protect the children, ensuring that they are not collateral damage in the ongoing battles between their parents. This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the complexities of post-separation, offering crucial insights into the emotional and psychological challenges that persist long after the end of a relationship.

Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media.

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/

Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout

Tik-Tok: the_dating_decoder

Instagram: @the_dating_decoder

Facebook: The Dating Decoder

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

What is covered:

·        What is post separation abuse.

·       How the justice system fails certian people who are dealing with post separation abuse. 

·       Post seperation abuse is not soley a male to female phenomenon. 

.       The difference in abuse and reactive abuse. 

·       The impact of post serparation abuse on children.

.        Dr. Hensley's opinion on how to change the leagal system to properly advocate for the victims of abuse and post separtation abuse. 

Consider/Ask Yourself

·       Are you dealing with post separation abuse?

·       Are you someone who has used your children as a pawn in the family court system?

.       How can you start becoming a better co-parent for the sake of your child or children?

·       Are you seeking the proper resources to deal with your post seperation abuse?  

.       How can Dr. Hensley help you in your post separation abuse journey? 

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. 

Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

Episode 16: "What It Looks and Feels Like to Be Securely Attached." In this insightful episode, Dr. Hensley explores the profound transformation that occurs once you achieve secure attachment. She begins by discussing the inner peace and resilience that come with attachment security, providing listeners with a glimpse into the deep sense of emotional stability that emerges. Drawing from the core components of her hybrid group coaching program, Dr. Hensley offers a clear roadmap to secure attachment.

The episode starts with an in-depth discussion on nervous system regulation, highlighting its pivotal role in achieving secure attachment. Dr. Hensley then reveals a powerful, often closely-guarded secret: meta-cognition. She explains how gaining conscious control over your thought patterns enables you to retrain your brain and provide your nervous system with new experiences of love, safety, and connection.

Dr. Hensley also covers crucial concepts such as cognitive distortions and catastrophic thinking, noting that many of her clients discover how their thoughts are predominantly negative, creating feelings of insecurity within their relationships. She emphasizes that mastering these skills begins with everyday self-talk. Only by practicing these techniques daily can you successfully apply them in moments of emotional trigger, especially within romantic relationships.

A key takeaway from the episode is Dr. Hensley’s "The Two Question Test" for challenging your thoughts: "Is this thought true?" and "Is this thought productive?" She encourages listeners to reframe any thought that doesn’t pass this test.

As the episode progresses, Dr. Hensley dives into the powerful emotions of shame and rejection, explaining how they keep us trapped in a dysregulated state. She reveals that shame is a major barrier to secure attachment, often fueling feelings of unworthiness and blocking emotional growth.

In closing, Dr. Hensley outlines practical ways to begin regulating the nervous system and releasing the burden of shame. She explains the scientific basis for achieving attachment security, underscoring its importance not just for mental health, but for overall psychological amd physical  well-being. She wraps up the episode by encouraging listeners to build their capacity for secure behaviors, which she explores in greater depth in her course and hybrid group coaching program. 

Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media.

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/

Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout

Tik-Tok: the_dating_decoder

Instagram: @the_dating_decoder

Facebook: The Dating Decoder

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

What is covered:

·        What does Secure Attachment feel like.

·       The two biggest components in secure attachment: nervous system regulation and meta-cognition.  

·       How negative thinking keeps you stuck in attachment insecurities. 

·       The role that shame plays in nervous system disregulation. 

·       In depth tools and ideas around how to regulate your nervous system and start achieving attachment security. 

Consider/Ask Yourself

·       What does your inner voice sound like?

·       Are you able to consciously capture your thoughts? 

.       What are some childhood wounds that are contributing to your attachment insecurities and keeping you stuck from acheiving your attachment security.  

·       Is shame keeping you stuck, and are you shaming yourself for feeling shame? 

.       How can you start the practice of observing and taking authority of your thought world? 

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. 

Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

Episode 15: "How Poor Self Image is Affecting Your Relationships." Dr. Hensley and co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the pressures that modern social norms place on self-image. They discuss how both women and men are harder on themselves than ever before, constantly critiquing their appearance in the age of Botox, fillers, and testosterone injections. In a candid conversation, Dr. Hensley and Raina openly admit that they have both had Botox and lip filler, sharing how their husbands have questioned their motivations for these choices.

The episode takes a personal turn as Dr. Hensley and Raina reveal their own struggles with self-image and how it has impacted their self-worth and relationship choices. They explore how a lack of self-esteem led them to choose unhealthy partners and stay in toxic relationships in the past. Dr. Hensley also sheds light on the often overlooked issue of men's body image struggles, sharing her husband's experiences and discussing how men, too, can be victims of abuse—both topics that are rarely acknowledged in society.

The conversation then shifts to the root causes of self-image issues, including the influence of upbringing and the way caregivers' views on appearance can shape a child's self-perception. In this heartfelt and vulnerable episode, both hosts reflect on their ongoing battles with shame, negative self-talk, and perfectionism, emphasizing that healing is a journey they are still on. Toward the end, Dr. Hensley and Raina tackle the trending topic of weight loss injections, discussing their own experiences with these interventions and how emerging research suggests they might help release inflammation in those with severe trauma, who often hold onto stress hormones like cortisol. They conclude the episode by stressing the importance of not idolizing beauty and self-image above one's relationship with self, partner, and God, and they encourage listeners to let go of the pursuit of perfectionism.

Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media.

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/

Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout

Tik-Tok: the_dating_decoder

Instagram: @the_dating_decoder

Facebook: The Dating Decoder

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

What is covered:

·        How social norms are affecting your self image. 

·       How both women and men are under tremendous pressures to keep up with social norms. 

·       How poor self worth leads to poor partner choices and staying in toxic, unhelathy relationships.

·       The root causes of poor self image issues. 

·       How to let go of the pursuit to perfectionism. 

Consider/Ask Yourself

·       How are you speaking to yourself?

·       What does your internal voice sound like?

.       Are you allowing poor self image to affect the way you treat your partner and children? 

·       Are you idolizing beauty?

.       Are you placing how you look above relationship to self, relationship to partner, and relationship to God? 

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. 

Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

Episode 14: "Why We Choose the Partners We Choose," Dr. Hensley delves deep into the psychology behind partner selection, focusing on how attachment styles influence our romantic choices. She begins by explaining how each attachment style—, the fearful avoidant, the anxious pre-occupied, and the dismissive avoidant, —guides us toward certain types of partners, often driven by subconscious wounds formed in childhood.

Dr. Hensley provides an in-depth analysis of the dynamics between fearful avoidants and dismissive avoidants, exploring why fearful avoidants are often drawn to partners who exhibit avoidant, narcissistic, or even abusive behaviors. She emphasizes how these dynamics are rooted in unresolved childhood needs, where the subconscious mind seeks to recreate familiar scenarios in an attempt to achieve a "happy ending."

One of the key points Dr. Hensley discusses is how attachment insecurities can lead people to confuse anxiety with chemistry, resulting in strong attachments to the wrong individuals. She further examines the dismissive avoidant attachment style, shedding light on why dismissive avoidants choose the partners they do, and the patterns that emerge in these relationships.

As the episode progresses, Dr. Hensley shifts focus to what happens when a securely attached person enters your life. She highlights the red flags of attachment insecurities and explains how, once you achieve attachment security, these red flags become more apparent, leading to a natural aversion—or "the ick"—toward unhealthy relationships.

In the second half of the episode, Dr. Hensley dives into the characteristics and feelings that arise when the "right" person, or a securely attached partner, shows up in your life. She discusses how recognizing this kind of healthy connection is crucial for building fulfilling and lasting relationships. Dr. Hensley’s passion shines through as she expresses her mission to help as many people as possible find attachment security, ultimately leading them toward more meaningful and loving relationships.

Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media.

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/

Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout

Tik-Tok: the_dating_decoder

Instagram: @the_dating_decoder

Facebook: The Dating Decoder

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

What is covered:

·        Why each attachment style chooses the partner they choose.

·       What role the subconscious mind plays on partner choice. 

·       An in depth review of the most common attachment insecurity dynamic Dr. Hensley sees in her practice, the FA/DA dynamic. 

·       The confusion between anxiety and chemistry. 

·       What it looks like and feels like to attract someone who is securely attached. 

.       Dr. Hensley's mission on helping as many people as possible find healthy, lasting, and fulfilling relationships. 

Consider/Ask Yourself

·       What types of partners am I attracting?

·       What childhood wounds have contributed to my partner choices and am I trying to rewrite a happy ending to my childhood trauma?

·       How are my attachment insecurities contributing to my partner choices? 

.       How can I start becoming securely attached so that I can start attracting a secure partner?

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. 

Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

Episode 13: What Happens to the Brain After Relational and Emotional Trauma. In this insightful episode of "The Love Doc Podcast", Dr. Hensley and co-host Raina Butcher explore the profound impact that relational and emotional trauma has on the brain, particularly when abuse is involved. Dr. Hensley takes listeners on a deep dive into the neurological science behind trauma, focusing on the roles of the prefrontal cortex, the amygdala, and the hippocampus.

Dr. Hensley explains how these critical areas of the brain are affected by trauma, describing in detail how they may grow or shrink in response to sustained emotional stress. This transformation within the brain can lead to significant consequences, such as poor impulse control, heightened anxiety, depression, memory loss, and even addiction. The episode also includes personal reflections from both Dr. Hensley and Raina Butcher, as they share their own experiences with relational trauma. They discuss how some memories remain vivid while others fade, offering a personal perspective on the impact of trauma on memory.

The discussion progresses to the effects of retraumatization, where Dr. Hensley uses the analogy of breaking an arm in the same place to illustrate how the brain becomes more susceptible to re-injury if and when it is exposed again to any level of emotional trauma. Even though the impact of retraumatization might not be as severe, it can trigger a resurgence of specific issues or ailments within the body, particularly due to the reactivation of existing neural grooves.

As the episode wraps up, Dr. Hensley emphasizes the interconnectedness between brain health and the central nervous system. She underscores the importance of healing the brain to improve overall nervous system function, thereby reducing the risk of disease. The episode concludes on a powerful note, with Dr. Hensley and Raina highlighting the importance of healing for the sake of future generations. They stress that providing children with emotional stability and teaching them about the value of secure attachments is one of the greatest gifts a parent can offer. Tune in for an episode that blends scientific insight with heartfelt personal stories, all aimed at helping listeners understand the profound effects trauma has on the brain and the importance of healing.

Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media.

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/

Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout

Tik-Tok: the_dating_decoder

Instagram: @the_dating_decoder

Facebook: The Dating Decoder

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

What is covered:

·        How each part of the brain is affected by relational/emotional trauma. 

·       How emotional/relational trauma on the brain lead to things like anxiety, depression, poor impulse control, and even addictions. 

·       What happens to the brain and how it reacts when there is a retraumatization. 

·       The effects the brain has on the central nervous system. 

·       How healing the brain and central nervous system can reduce the risk of disease. 

.       The importance of healing relational/emotional trauma for future generations. 

Consider/Ask Yourself

·       How has/is my relational/emotional trauma affecting me?

·       Have I experienced memory loss due to my emotional trauma?

·       Am I currently focused on the correct work to heal my nervous system and train my brain to know when I am experiencing a true threat to my well-being?

.       How can I explore further healing for my own well-being and the well-being of my children and future generations? 

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. 

Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

Episode 12: Dating in the Modern World. In this insightful episode of "The Love Doc Podcast," Dr. Hensley and co-host Raina Butcher delve into the complexities of modern dating. Recently married, both hosts reflect on their own experiences from just a few years ago, noting how challenging the dating scene was—and likely even more so today. Dr. Hensley highlights the struggles faced by those with insecure attachment styles, particularly the dismissive-avoidant. She explains how their limited emotional needs can complicate the use of dating apps, often leading to ghosting without explanation. The hosts share personal stories about their own challenges with dating apps and how they eventually met their husbands. Raina Butcher recounts her organic meeting with her husband, prompting Dr. Hensley to offer listeners practical advice on meeting potential partners outside of dating apps. Dr. Hensley provides extensive guidance on approaching someone you're interested in. She offers concrete tips for initiating conversations and gauging mutual interest, as well as advice on enhancing attractiveness on dating apps. Drawing on the science of attraction, she discusses common physical traits that tend to be appealing.

Wrapping up the episode, Dr. Hensley emphasizes the importance of earning your attachment security in the dating process. She warns that those with anxious attachment often mistake red flags for chemistry and describes how avoidants may come on strong initially only to pull away later. With both issues contributing to the complexities of the dating world. Both hosts discuss how achieving secure attachment helps in recognizing red flags and avoiding time-wasters, ultimately attracting the right partner.

Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media.

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/

Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout

Tik-Tok: the_dating_decoder

Instagram: @the_dating_decoder

Facebook: The Dating Decoder

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

What is covered:

·        The complexities of the dating world.

·       Why the dismissive avoidant does what they do in the dating phase of a relationship. 

·       Organic ways that you can meet someone. 

·       Attraction science and what makes someone attracted to you based on physical appearance alone. 

·       Why ghosting is never okay. 

.       The importance of achieving your attachment security in the modern dating world. 

Consider/Ask Yourself

·       Are dating apps working for me?

·       Am I putting myself out into the world in a way that would allow for me to meet someone organically?

·       Does my dating app profile reflect an appearance that someone would find attractive?

.       Am I securely dating? Meaning am I showing up as my honest, unapologetic self, while also being honest with others? If not, is it time to work on healing my attachment wounds so that I can attract the right partner?

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. 

Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

Episode 11: Let Them. In Episode 11 of "The Love Doc Podcast," Dr. Hensley explores the concept of "let them" and its profound impact on relationships. She begins by addressing the common question she encounters in her practice: "How do I get my partner to [insert behavior]?" Dr. Hensley emphasizes that trying to change someone else's behavior is futile. Instead, she advises listeners to "let them" show up in their chosen way and then evaluate if that behavior aligns with their needs and desires. If it does, the relationship can flourish. If not, she discusses healthy ways to move on. Dr. Hensley explains that secure individuals do not abandon their own needs or compromise their desires in a romantic relationship. She delves into how different attachment styles struggle with the idea of "letting them." Fearful avoidant and anxious preoccupied individuals often grapple with high anxiety and fear of rejection, making it difficult for them to relinquish control. On the other hand, dismissive avoidants often fail to create an emotionally safe environment for their partners. The episode underscores the importance of achieving attachment security to navigate these complex dynamics.

Continuing, Dr. Hensley highlights how modeling secure behavior can positively influence a more insecure partner, sometimes bringing about substantial change. She stresses the significance of setting boundaries and then being comfortable with others' perceptions of you and the relationship you share. By "letting them" hold their own narratives, you can find peace and freedom in living your truth. This of course does not go without your own self reflection to ensure that you are also showing up in a healthy, secure way. Dr. Hensley and co-host Raina Butcher share personal anecdotes about friends and ex-partners they have had to let go, allowing these individuals to maintain their own (sometimes erroneous) narratives.

The episode concludes with Dr. Hensley addressing a popular question: "How do I get my ex back?" She breaks down the science of attraction and offers practical steps to assess whether rekindling a past relationship is worthwhile. Dr. Hensley also introduces her upcoming course, "How to Get Your Ex Back," set to release this fall. In the end, both Dr. Hensley and Raina Butcher emphasize the importance of letting go of people and things not meant for you, making room for what truly is. They reflect on how finding their own attachment security and practicing "letting them" ultimately led them to a deep sense of self love and to finding their husnands. 

Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media.

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/

Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout

Tik-Tok: the_dating_decoder

Instagram: @the_dating_decoder

Facebook: The Dating Decoder

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

What is covered:

·        The ideas and importance behind the statement "let them."

·       Addressing how the statement "How do I get my partner to" is the wrong approach when entering coaching.

·       "Let them" behave how they choose to behave, then take inventory of how this aligns with you own wants and needs.

·       The difference between how insecure attachment styles struggle with the idea of "let them" versus the securley attached.

·       Letting go of certian people in your life and the narrative they may have about you and the relationship you shared. 

.       Is the effort on trying to get your ex back warrented and if so steps and advice on how to do so. 

Consider/Ask Yourself

·       Are anxiety and a strong need to control things standing in the way of your true healing?

·       Does it bother you when someone thinks poorly of you when you try to set an appropriate boundary?

·       Have you stated your needs and wants compassionatley and then let them (your partner) show up, and then taken real inventory? If so, how is your partner showing up for you?

.       Are you holding onto your relationship simply so you can hold onto the narrative that you feel is the right one? Sometimes it is okay to be the villian in someone else's story as long as it grants you your peace and freedom. 

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting

Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

Episode 10: Are They a Narcissist? In this enlightening episode of "The Love Doc Podcast," Dr. Hensley dives into the complex world of narcissism. Drawing from a rich array of perspectives, including social psychology, evolutionary psychology, developmental psychology, and clinical psychology, Dr. Hensley explores the intricate nature of narcissism and why it’s such a widely studied yet frequently misunderstood field.

Dr. Hensley begins by examining the various theories that explain how narcissism develops in individuals. She highlights how the term "narcissist" is often overused in contemporary discourse, leading to confusion between narcissistic traits and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). This distinction is crucial, as NPD can be both over-diagnosed and under-diagnosed. True narcissists possess a remarkable ability to manipulate those around them, including their therapists, making accurate diagnosis challenging.

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing how romantic relationships can exacerbate narcissistic traits. Dr. Hensley explains that the degree of perceived threat within these relationships can amplify existing narcissistic behaviors, complicating the dynamics between partners. One of the highlights of the episode is Dr. Hensley's in-depth analysis of attachment styles and their potential to be misinterpreted as NPD. She clarifies that attachment behaviors, while sometimes similar to narcissistic traits, are rooted in changeable behaviors that primarily manifest in romantic relationships. In contrast, true narcissism permeates all areas of a narcissist's life, including relationships with authority figures. 

Dr. Hensley also sheds light on the differences between overt and covert narcissists, offering her perspective on which type she considers more dangerous. This segment provides listeners with a nuanced understanding of how narcissistic behaviors can vary widely and the specific risks associated with each type. 

Throughout the episode, both Dr. Hensley and her co-host, Raina Butcher, share their  personal experiences with narcissists, adding a relatable and practical dimension to the discussion. In the final segment, Dr. Hensley addresses the profound impact of narcissism on children, emphasizing how narcissists often use their children to exert control and manipulate, resulting in deep psychological scars.

Dr. Hensley and Raina conclude the episode with a message of hope, providing practical advice and resources for those dealing with narcissistic abuse. They emphasize that understanding and addressing narcissism can lead to healthier relationships and personal growth. Join Dr. Hensley and Raina Butcher for this compelling and insightful exploration of narcissism, offering valuable perspectives for anyone navigating relationships with narcissistic individuals.

Disclaimer: None of the material contained herein is medical advice. The advice and perspective that Dr. Hensley suggest are strictly that of opinion with highlights of scientific research.  

Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media.

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/

Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout

Tik-Tok: the_dating_decoder

Instagram: @the_dating_decoder

Facebook: The Dating Decoder

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

What is covered:

·        The science behind narcissism.

·       The theories that explain how narcissism develops.

·       The threat that narcisstic traits play in our romatic relationships.

·       The difference between behaviors of specific attachment styles and the narcissist. 

·       The difference between the overt and covert narcissist. 

Consider/Ask Yourself

·       What are the differences between Narcissitic Personality Disorder and narcissitic traits? 

·       Is your partner a true narcissist or do they just have attachement wounding and insecurities?  

·       If dealing with a narcissitic partner how can I seek intervention for myself and my children? 

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting

Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

Episode 9 (announced as Episode 8 in audio): "Settling the Confusion between the Fearful Avoidant and the Dismissive Avoidant." In this enlightening episode Dr. Hensley delves deep into the often misunderstood world of attachment styles, focusing specifically on the Fearful Avoidant (FA) and the Dismissive Avoidant (DA). While their names suggest similarity, Dr. Hensley reveals the significant differences in the behaviors and motivations underlying these two styles. Dr. Hensley meticulously describes how the Fearful Avoidant (FA) exhibits both anxious and avoidant behaviors due to a complex mix of fear and anxiety, often oscillating between seeking closeness and sometimes pushing away when they feel betrayed. This oscillation can be heavily influenced by various factors, including the attachment style of their partner. In contrast, the Dismissive Avoidant (DA) maintains distance primarily as a means of preserving independence and autonomy, showing little interest in emotional closeness.

Through vivid examples and detailed explanations, Dr. Hensley highlights the typical dynamics seen in FA/DA partnerships. These relationships are often marked by one partner's pursuit of intimacy and connection, which can manifest as anxious behaviors or even aggression, while the other partner retreats further into avoidance. This push-pull dynamic creates a cycle of misunderstanding and frustration, leaving partners feeling perpetually out of sync. Drawing from her extensive experience in relationship coaching, Dr. Hensley shares how she navigates these complex dynamics in her hybrid group coaching program. She provides actionable tools and strategies to help couples achieve a balance that honors both the DA's need for autonomy and the FA's desire for intimacy. Through structured guidance and support, she helps partners break the vicious cycle and cultivate a harmonious and fulfilling relationship. Join Dr. Hensley in this episode as she unpacks the intricacies of these attachment styles and offers practical solutions for creating lasting change and deeper connection in romantic partnerships.

Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visist the links below and follow her on social media.

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/

Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout

Tik-Tok: the_dating_decoder

Instagram: @the_dating_decoder

Facebook: The Dating Decoder

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

What is covered:

·        The behaviors of the Fearful Avoidant.

·       The behaviors of the Dismissive Avoidant.

·       The subconcious wounds that each attachment style expereinces and why.

·       The Fearful Avoidant/ Dismissive Avoidant romatic relationship dynamic and why it is one of the most complex. 

·       Ways in which the FA/DA romatic relationship dynamic can make it work. 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

·       Are you more Fearful Avoidant or Dismissive Avoidant? 

·       How have your childhood expereinces and relationship to your caregivers influenced your attachment style?

·       Based on which attachment style that you relate to the most, are there ways in which you are willing to change to help with the outcome of your romatic relationship?

·       How committed are you to make the changes necessary to heal your attachment style?