Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. 

Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

Episode 45: The Drop

In this deeply personal and reflective episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Sarah Hensley explores “The Drop”—the inevitable moments in life when, after reaching great heights, we find ourselves falling back down. Inspired by the song The Drop by Forrest Frank, this episode delves into what it truly means to rise to success, only to be met with unexpected setbacks, challenges, and even betrayals. More importantly, Dr. Hensley unpacks how we handle these moments with humility, grace, and resilience.

Dr. Hensley shares her own journey of rising to the top—how success can make it easy to be kind, loving, and open-hearted. But she also reminds listeners that no one is immune to life’s trials, and 2024 tested her in ways she never expected. She opens up about a personal legal battle involving someone who intentionally harmed her family, as well as the devastating news that her mother’s cancer has returned after nearly five years in remission. She speaks candidly about how these experiences deeply affected her and her family, and how easy it would be to let pain turn into bitterness.

But Dr. Hensley emphasizes that suffering—while inevitable—does not have to define us. She challenges the common “white-knuckle approach” to hardship, where people try to fight through suffering by suppressing emotions, hardening their hearts, and carrying resentment. This, she explains, only makes the pain worse, as it places unnecessary stress on the nervous system and fuels a cycle of anger and defensiveness.

Midway through the episode, Dr. Hensley shares a profound shift in perspective that changed her life:
Instead of living in the fear of “What if?”, she learned to embrace the mindset of “Even if.”
• What if the worst happens? → Fear, anxiety, and suffering.
• Even if the worst happens, I will stay faithful, calm, and gracious.

This shift, she explains, allowed her to let go of fear and control, and instead trust that even in hardship, there is purpose, healing, and grace.

As the episode closes, Dr. Hensley leaves listeners with a powerful reminder:
Yes, suffering is part of life. Yes, the drop can feel unfair and even cruel. But it doesn’t last forever. And more importantly, it shapes us, humbles us, and reminds us of the joy that comes from overcoming challenges with integrity and faith.

If you find yourself in a drop—whether it’s personal loss, betrayal, or a sudden setback—you are not alone. Healing is possible, and Dr. Hensley would be honored to be a resource in your journey.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating hardship and seeking a faith-driven, compassionate approach to resilience.

Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of life, love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. 

PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. 

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coaching

Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual Coaching

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/courses

Tik-Tok: @drsarahhensley

Instagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedoc

Facebook: Dr. Sarah Hensley

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. 

Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

Episode 44: – Showing Up as the Best Version of Your Most Authentic Self 

In this episode, Dr. Hensley explores what it truly means to be authentic—what authenticity is, what it is not, and how to cultivate it. She emphasizes that before we can fully show up as our authentic selves, we must first confront and understand our shadow self and suppressed traits.

Dr. Hensley explains how our ability to be authentic starts with the messages we receive from caregivers in childhood. From a young age, we are taught which emotions and traits are acceptable and which should be hidden or suppressed. These early lessons shape how we navigate relationships and self-expression as adults.

Next, she delves into how different insecure attachment styles suppress certain emotions, impacting their ability to be authentic, sometimes leading to poor relationship patterns. A major part of healing involves recognizing these suppressed traits without shame and allowing oneself to express them freely.

Faith plays a significant role in this process, and Dr. Hensley shares her personal struggles with expressing certain traits. She opens up about how God’s grace and mercy have helped her work through feelings of shame and embrace her true self.

A key highlight of this episode is the perpetual people-pleaser, who struggles the most with authenticity. People-pleasers often self-abandon to maintain peace, suppressing their true needs and emotions. Dr. Hensley explains that the foundation of authenticity lies in self-trust and building a strong relationship with oneself.

Toward the end, she discusses how boundaries are essential for authenticity. She shares a real-life example from her marriage, illustrating how she has learned to embrace her authentic self without guilt or fear.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone struggling to show up as their authentic self. If you’re ready to step into authenticity, Dr. Hensley’s services can guide you on this journey.
Visit Dr. Hensley's website at thelovedoc.com (now active) 

Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. 

PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. 

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coaching

Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual Coaching

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/courses

Tik-Tok: @drsarahhensley

Instagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedoc

Facebook: Dr. Sarah Hensley

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley


Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. 

Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

In Episode 43 of “The Love Doc” podcast, titled “If They Don’t Want to Be Kept, Don’t Keep ’Em,” Dr. Hensley delves into the common question she receives from clients: “How do I get my partner to [fill in the blank]?” She emphasizes that attempting to change a partner is futile and that true emotional security comes from recognizing that the only person one can change is oneself.

Key Discussion Points:

1. Losing Oneself in the Effort to Change a Partner:
She warns against the dangers of contorting oneself to induce change in a partner, often leading to a loss of personal identity and autonomy. This behavior can result in emotional exhaustion and dissatisfaction.
2. The Fallacy of Loving Someone Enough to Change Them:
Dr. Hensley addresses the misconception that one can love someone into changing. She asserts that change must come from within an individual who is ready and willing; external pressure is ineffective and can be detrimental.
3. Coercion vs. Genuine Expression of Love:
Attempting to force or manipulate a partner into meeting one’s needs is not a true expression of love. Authentic love respects autonomy and encourages voluntary, mutual effort in the relationship.
4. Recognizing When a Partner Is Not Capable of Commitment:
Dr. Hensley emphasizes the importance of acknowledging when a partner consistently demonstrates an inability or unwillingness to commit. Persisting in such situations leads to frustration and hinders personal growth.

Subconscious Manipulation and Emotional Exhaustion:

The episode delves into the subconscious manipulation involved in trying to retain a partner who is unwilling or unable to meet one’s needs. This dynamic leads to emotional exhaustion and disrupts the nervous system, fostering dysfunction and instability in the relationship.

Attachment Styles and the Push-Pull Dynamic:

Dr. Hensley explores attachment styles, particularly the fearful-avoidant and dismissive-avoidant pairings, where push-pull dynamics are prevalent:
• Fearful-Avoidant Attachment: Characterized by a desire for intimacy coupled with a fear of getting hurt, leading to ambivalence and mistrust in relationships.
• Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment: Marked by a preference for independence and discomfort with closeness, resulting in emotional distance and a tendency to withdraw from partners.

When individuals with these attachment styles pair together, a cyclical pattern of pursuing and distancing ensues, creating instability and dissatisfaction.

Advice for Breaking the Cycle:

Towards the end of the episode, Dr. Hensley offers guidance for those trapped in unfulfilling dynamics:
• Toxic Hope: Recognize and release the unrealistic expectation that a partner will change, which perpetuates unhealthy attachment and prolongs suffering.
• Radical Acceptance: Embrace the reality of the situation without resistance, acknowledging that one cannot control or change another’s behavior.

These concepts and more are elaborated upon in her new breakup course (now live and ready for purchse), designed to help individuals cultivate inner safety and trust in their decision-making, empowering them to leave relationships that do not serve their well-being.

Visit Dr. Hensley's website at thelovedoc.com (now active) 

Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. 

PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. 

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coaching

Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual Coaching

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/courses

Tik-Tok: @drsarahhensley

Instagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedoc

Facebook: Dr. Sarah Hensley

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. 

Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

Episode 42 – How to Navigate Divorce

In this powerful episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Hensley takes a deep dive into one of the most difficult and life-altering experiences a person can face—divorce. With compassion, insight, and real-life experience from coaching hundreds of clients, she offers a roadmap for navigating the process in the healthiest way possible.

When Is Divorce Acceptable?
Dr. Hensley begins the episode by addressing a critical question: When is divorce justified? She makes it clear that while every marriage has challenges, certain circumstances—such as infidelity, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and neglect—are valid and acceptable reasons to leave a marriage. However, she also emphasizes that nothing in this episode should be taken as legal advice; instead, she shares wisdom based on her personal experience and extensive coaching work.

Step 1: Accepting Your Partner’s Decision
One of the first steps in navigating divorce is accepting your partner’s boundary if they have filed for divorce. Dr. Hensley stresses the importance of expressing your feelings openly and compassionately—whether or not you want the divorce—without becoming needy, pushy, or anxious. This approach allows for open communication and ensures that divorce isn’t being used as a mere threat.

Step 2: Creating Emotional and Physical Space
She then explores the importance of creating both emotional and physical distance. This space provides clarity, helping individuals truly understand what life will be like post-divorce. By stepping back, people can gain perspective on whether they are seeking reconciliation out of genuine desire or simply fearing change.

Step 3: Understanding the Legal Process
A major portion of the episode is dedicated to the legal aspects of divorce. Dr. Hensley underscores the importance of securing a strong attorney and thoroughly understanding state-specific divorce and custody laws. She encourages listeners to seek individual legal counsel—even in seemingly amicable divorces—because legal protection is crucial in navigating financial and custody matters.

Step 4: Communication During Divorce
Dr. Hensley provides actionable strategies for communication during the divorce process. She explains how to maintain open dialogue without overstepping boundaries and gives specific language that can help avoid unnecessary conflict. She also discusses the challenges of co-parenting and offers guidance on ensuring children feel emotionally supported throughout the transition.

Can a Marriage Be Saved?
Halfway through the episode, Dr. Hensley shifts gears to discuss cases where marriages have been salvaged from the brink of divorce. She shares success stories from her coaching program, illustrating how the tools she teaches can help couples reconnect and repair their relationships. She also provides a realistic timeline for seeing meaningful change when both partners commit to the work.

Attachment Styles and Divorce
Next, Dr. Hensley examines how different attachment styles handle divorce—and where each one typically goes wrong:
• Anxious-preoccupied individuals may cling to the relationship, struggle with self-worth, and resist letting go.
• Dismissive avoidants may shut down emotionally, minimize the pain, and attempt to move on too quickly.
• Fearful avoidants often experience inner conflict, cycling between wanting connection and pushing their partner away.
She offers targeted advice for each attachment style, helping listeners recognize their patterns and make healthier choices during this transition.

Breaking Free from Trauma Bonds
One of the most challenging aspects of divorce is severing a trauma bond—especially in toxic or abusive relationships. Dr. Hensley outlines a key strategy she teaches in her coaching program:
• Practicing radical acceptance of the situation.
• Immersing oneself in the truth by writing out relationship issues and reading them daily.
By consistently reinforcing reality, individuals can shift their mindset and begin the process of emotional detachment.

Should You Wait Before Divorcing?
For those who feel uncertain, Dr. Hensley advises taking true inventory of the relationship for 3 to 6 months before making a final decision. She stresses the importance of focusing on personal growth and reaching secure attachment before deciding whether divorce is truly the right path.

Final Thoughts: The Legal and Emotional Reality of Divorce
Dr. Hensley concludes the episode by revisiting the legal complexities of divorce, reiterating how critical it is to protect oneself legally—especially when children are involved. She acknowledges that divorce often brings out the worst in people, making legal representation essential. She also reminds listeners that while divorce is painful, it can also be an opportunity for renewal.

Divorce as a New Beginning
Dr. Hensley leaves listeners with a hopeful message: Divorce, while painful, is not the end—it’s a blank canvas. It is a chance to rebuild, rediscover personal identity, and create a life aligned with one’s values and desires. Though the process may be difficult, it also brings the possibility of newfound freedom, growth, and ultimately, happiness.

This episode provides a compassionate, insightful, and practical guide for anyone navigating divorce—whether they are in the midst of it, contemplating it, or trying to heal from it.

Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. 

PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. 

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/

Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout

Tik-Tok: @drsarahhensley

Instagram: @the_dating_decoder

Facebook: The Dating Decoder

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. 

Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

Episode 41: Friendship in Your Forties 

Friendship, like any other relationship, can be complex to navigate—especially as you grow, heal, and move toward attachment security. In this episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Sarah Hensley and co-host Raina Butcher take a deep dive into how friendships evolve once you’ve reached emotional security, why some friendships don’t survive, and what true friendship really looks like.

While the title suggests a focus on friendships in your 40s, this episode is relevant for anyone, regardless of age, because friendship dynamics shift as we mature, heal, and redefine our boundaries.

How Friendships Change with Attachment Security

Dr. Hensley explains that once you achieve attachment security, your standards for friendship change. You become more intentional about the relationships you maintain, prioritizing mutual respect, peace, and personal growth. She breaks down what you will and won’t stand for in friendships once you’ve reached this level of emotional health, including:
• Setting Boundaries – You no longer tolerate one-sided friendships, lack of reciprocity, or emotional drain.
• A No-Drama Policy – You disengage from gossip, toxicity, and unnecessary conflict.
• Caring Less About What Others Think – You prioritize your inner peace over external validation.
• Protecting Your Peace at All Costs – You release friendships that feel heavy, draining, or unsupportive.

Personal Experiences & People-Pleasing in Friendships

Both Dr. Hensley and Raina open up about friendships they’ve lost after achieving attachment security. Raina shares that she’s still struggling with people-pleasing tendencies in her friendships, and Dr. Hensley helps her unpack the root cause—attachment wounds that make it hard to say no or risk losing connection.

Dr. Hensley emphasizes that true friendship isn’t about sacrificing your well-being to keep others happy. Instead, secure friendships allow for honesty, mutual respect, and space for each person to grow.

The Evolution of Their Own Friendship

Dr. Hensley and Raina reflect on how their own friendship has deepened as they’ve both grown in emotional security. What started as a friendship built on common interests has transformed into something much deeper—rooted in trust, honesty, and emotional safety.

Dr. Hensley shares how, before reaching attachment security, she relied on a “Rolodex” of friends to vent to or help soothe her emotions. Now, using the self-regulation tools she teaches in her coaching practice, she no longer seeks friendships as a form of emotional outsourcing. Instead, she views friendship as a space for mutual support and respect, rather than an emotional dumping ground.

Why Friendships End When One Person Becomes Secure

One of the most eye-opening parts of the conversation is how friendships can mirror romantic relationships. Dr. Hensley explains that just like in romantic relationships, friendships often break down when one person becomes attachment secure and the other remains stuck in insecurity.

She and Raina discuss a hard truth:
• Some friendships don’t end because of conflict; they end because one person grows and the other doesn’t.
• Not all friends want to see you succeed. True friendship isn’t just about supporting someone in hard times; it’s also about celebrating their wins without jealousy or resentment.

Friendship Among Men & Friendships Lost in Divorce

Dr. Hensley also touches on the unique struggles men face in maintaining friendships later in life. She explains that:
• Men often struggle with emotional depth in friendships compared to women.
• Many male friendships are activity-based, making it harder to find deep, emotionally secure friendships.
• Divorce often leads to friendship losses, as mutual friends take sides or the shifting dynamic makes maintaining friendships more complicated.

God’s Role in Friendship & Letting Go

As always, Dr. Hensley brings faith into the conversation, sharing how God’s friendship has shaped her life. She acknowledges that God has both brought friendships into her life and removed others for her greater good.

In the end, she encourages listeners to embrace the seasons of friendship—some friends are meant for a chapter, while others are meant for a lifetime. By letting go of friendships that no longer serve you, you create space for those that bring true peace, connection, and joy.

Final Takeaway

Friendships will evolve as you do. If you’re healing, growing, and becoming more secure, it’s natural for some friendships to shift, fade, or even end. But the friendships that remain—the ones built on mutual respect, trust, and joy—are the ones worth keeping.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating friendship changes at any stage of life. Whether you’re redefining your boundaries, struggling with people-pleasing, or learning how to cultivate secure, meaningful friendships, Dr. Hensley and Raina’s insights will help you approach friendship with clarity, confidence, and peace.

Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. 

PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. 

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/

Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout

Tik-Tok: @drsarahhensley

Instagram: @the_dating_decoder

Facebook: The Dating Decoder

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. 

Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

The Love Doc Podcast – Episode 40: "The Bright Side of Suffering." In this transformative episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Hensley explores one of the most difficult yet essential aspects of the human experience—suffering. Rather than something to fear or avoid, she reframes suffering as a necessary force for growth, resilience, and transformation—but only if we allow it to serve that purpose.

Why Do Some People Break While Others Rise? The Science of Suffering
Dr. Hensley begins the episode by addressing a fundamental question: Why do some people experience post-traumatic stress while others experience post-traumatic growth? She discusses the psychological and neurological factors that determine whether suffering will lead to breakdown or breakthrough.She highlights a study that examined two different therapeutic approaches for trauma survivors:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): A structured, problem-focused therapy that helps individuals change negative thought patterns.
• Positive Psychological Interventions (PPI): A strengths-based approach that focuses on resilience, finding meaning in suffering, and reframing challenges in a positive light.

The study revealed that individuals who underwent PPI showed greater post-traumatic growth compared to those who only engaged in CBT. This is because PPIs encourage individuals to see their pain as part of a bigger picture, whereas CBT primarily focuses on managing symptoms.

Faith and the Power of Redemption in Suffering
As the episode progresses, Dr. Hensley shares a deeply personal perspective on suffering—one rooted in faith. She explains how her own hardships have been catalysts for spiritual growth, helping her develop deeper trust and surrender.She reflects on the suffering of Christ, emphasizing that His sacrifice was the ultimate example of how pain can lead to redemption. Through faith, suffering can take on a greater purpose, allowing people to transcend their pain rather than be defined by it.

The Role of Community in Healing
Dr. Hensley stresses that healing from suffering is not meant to be done alone. She explores the importance of community and connection, explaining how isolation often prolongs suffering while healthy relationships create a safe space for healing and transformation. Whether through friendships, support groups, or spiritual communities, surrounding oneself with understanding and uplifting people can make all the difference.

Attachment Styles and How They Influence Healing
At the midpoint of the episode, Dr. Hensley shifts the discussion to attachment theory, explaining how different attachment styles process and cope with suffering:

• Anxious Attachment: Those with an anxious attachment style often get stuck in victimhood, replaying their pain and seeking validation to soothe their wounds. They struggle with letting go and moving forward.
• Avoidant Attachment: On the other hand, avoidant individuals tend to suppress and dismiss their suffering, refusing to acknowledge their pain. They may appear strong on the outside but often struggle with deep emotional disconnect.

Dr. Hensley shares specific strategies for each attachment style to help them move through suffering in a healthier way.

Somatic Healing: Moving Through Suffering with the Body
One of the most crucial parts of healing, Dr. Hensley explains, is not just feeling emotions, but actually processing them through the body. She introduces somatic healing techniques—practices that help release stored trauma and emotions physically, since emotions are "energy in motion."She shares different methods to create safety in the body, including:

• Breathwork to regulate the nervous system
• Grounding exercises to reconnect with the present moment
• Movement-based practices like yoga, shaking, or dance to release stored emotional energy

Dr. Hensley emphasizes that growth from suffering requires more than intellectual processing—it requires physical release and transformation.

The Difference Between Therapy and Coaching in Healing
As the episode nears its conclusion, Dr. Hensley breaks down the key differences between therapy and coaching when it comes to healing from suffering:

• Therapy: Primarily focuses on processing past trauma, offering a safe space to understand and work through emotions.
• Coaching: Takes a prescriptive and action-oriented approach, providing concrete tools to change behavior and rewire neural pathways for long-term transformation.

Dr. Hensley explains that while therapy is invaluable for understanding pain, coaching is essential for creating real, lasting change—helping individuals take proactive steps toward rewiring their mindset, behaviors, and emotional responses.

Final Takeaway: Growth is a Choice
Dr. Hensley wraps up the episode with a powerful message:
"Suffering is inevitable, but what you do with it is up to you. Will you let it break you, or will you let it build you into the highest version of yourself?" This episode is both deeply personal and profoundly practical, providing listeners with the tools, insights, and inspiration to embrace suffering as a stepping stone to greatness.




Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. 

PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. 

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/

Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout

Tik-Tok: @drsarahhensley

Instagram: @the_dating_decoder

Facebook: The Dating Decoder

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley



Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. 

Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

Episode 39: The TikTok Ban Part II

In this episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Sarah Hensley expands on the ongoing TikTok ban debate, following the discussion from episode 37, when the ban was still pending. A lot has changed in a short time—including a dark period where TikTok temporarily disappeared—leaving creators, businesses, and everyday users in a state of uncertainty.

Dr. Hensley begins by breaking down the Supreme Court ruling, expressing her surprise at how quickly the decision was made. She argues that the ruling did not fully consider the economic impact of losing TikTok, both directly for content creators and indirectly for businesses that rely on the platform for marketing. She also highlights which senators are currently working on legislative measures to protect TikTok, emphasizing their efforts to prevent the U.S. economy from suffering due to a potential ban.

Dr. Hensley then explains Project Texas, TikTok’s initiative to address U.S. security concerns by storing American user data domestically and increasing transparency through third-party audits. She expresses disappointment that the court did not take a more balanced approach—such as allowing more time for audits before making a ruling—rather than pushing for an outright ban.

Dr. Hensley then shares her firsthand experience on a call with 50 TikTok creators and Senator Ro Khanna following the ruling. She gives a special shoutout to Ro Khanna for listening to creators’ personal stories about how TikTok has changed their lives. Reflecting on her own journey, she speaks about how the platform has allowed her to grow her business, reach thousands of clients, and help people find and sustain healthy relationships.

She then discusses the broader consequences of the ruling, including the potential legal risks for service providers like Apple and Google if they continued to offer TikTok for download. She explains how these companies could have, and still could, face legal challenges and financial penalties had they not complied with the ruling.

Halfway through the episode, Dr. Hensley shifts to analyzing the deal that former President Trump negotiated to create a 75-day extension, delaying the enforcement of the ban. She explains the terms of this deal and the political maneuvering behind it.

She also highlights the efforts of Senator Ed Markey, who advocated for an extension that would allow TikTok to remain operational while the government figured out how to protect national security. However, she notes that Senator Tom Cotton was the only person in Congress to oppose Markey’s extension, standing firmly in favor of the ban.

Dr. Hensley ends the episode with a powerful call to action, urging listeners to stand up for free speech and their First Amendment rights. She encourages everyone who values TikTok to sign the petition to repeal the ban, emphasizing that the fight is far from over. She reminds listeners that their voices matter and that advocating for their platform is essential in preserving digital freedom and economic opportunity.

This episode is a must-listen for TikTok creators, business owners, and anyone invested in the future of digital content creation in the U.S.

Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. 

PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. 

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/

Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout

Tik-Tok: @drsarahhensley

Instagram: @the_dating_decoder

Facebook: The Dating Decoder

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. 

Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

Episode 38: The Most Painful Relationship Dynamic

In this deeply insightful episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Sarah Hensley explores what she considers the most painful romantic dynamic outside of relationships with narcissists or those with personality disorders: the Fearful-Avoidant (FA) and Dismissive-Avoidant (DA) attachment pairing.

Why Is This the Most Painful Dynamic?

Dr. Hensley begins by breaking down the core traits of each attachment style:
• Fearful-Avoidants (FAs) crave deep emotional intimacy but simultaneously fear it, oscillating between intense closeness and withdrawal. Their internal struggle stems from an upbringing marked by trauma, inconsistency, and trust breaks—often experiencing both love and fear from caregivers.
• Dismissive-Avoidants (DAs), on the other hand, prioritize independence and emotional self-sufficiency. They typically shut down in the face of relational tension, having learned early on that vulnerability is unsafe and that they must rely on themselves.

When these two attachment styles fall in love, the cycle of attraction and rejection becomes excruciatingly painful:
• Push-Pull Dynamics: The FA constantly seeks reassurance, only to pull away when it feels too overwhelming, while the DA maintains emotional distance, reinforcing the FA’s fears of not being able to trust anyone.
• Emotional Misalignment: The FA interprets the DA’s withdrawal as rejection, triggering intense anxiety and protest behaviors, while the DA feels overwhelmed by the FA’s emotional needs and shuts down further.
• Unresolved Childhood Wounds: Both partners unknowingly re-enact childhood patterns—FAs chase unresponsive caregivers, while DAs retreat to the emotional solitude they relied on as children.

Why Are They Attracted to Each Other?

Midway through the episode, Dr. Hensley delves into one of the most fascinating aspects of insecure attachment: shadow attraction—the unconscious draw toward partners who reflect our deepest fears, wounds, and unintegrated parts of ourselves.
• The FA’s Shadow: The fearful-avoidant deeply fears abandonment but is paradoxically drawn to emotionally unavailable partners (DAs) because they reinforce the FA’s core belief: “I am not safe in love.” Since thier emotions tend to be all over the place they are drawn to the emotional stabitity that the DA partner protrays. 
• The DA’s Shadow: The dismissive-avoidant, though appearing independent, often harbors deep loneliness and suppressed emotional needs. They are magnetized by the FA’s emotional intensity, as it represents the feelings they’ve long suppressed. Since their emotions tend to be more supressed they become enamored by the FA's openess to express emotional vulnerability. 

Dr. Hensley explains that insecurely attached individuals are attracted to their shadows because their subconscious mind seeks familiarity, even if it is painful. Healing requires recognizing this attraction as a mirror rather than a destiny.

How Can This Relationship Work?

Although this dynamic is inherently painful, Dr. Hensley assures listeners that healing and transformation are possible. She shares tools and strategies from her coaching practice that help break the toxic cycle and create a more secure bond.
• For Fearful-Avoidants: Learning to regulate their nervous system and develop self-trust, so they are not constantly seeking reassurance from an emotionally unavailable partner.
• For Dismissive-Avoidants: Developing emotional literacy and recognizing that avoiding emotions does not equal true independence.
• For Both Partners: Understanding the trauma responses at play, fostering direct communication, and shifting the relationship from one of reactivity to intentionality.

Dr. Hensley offers practical steps, including boundary-setting exercises, communication techniques, and self-reflection practices, while keeping some of her most transformative methods reserved for her private clients and programs.

Because this is the most common and painful dynamic Dr. Hensley sees in her practice, this episode is a must-listen for anyone trapped in the FA-DA cycle. It provides both clarity and hope, offering a roadmap to understanding why these relationships feel impossible and how, with the right tools, they can evolve into something healthier.

Whether you’re struggling in this dynamic or simply want to deepen your knowledge of attachment, this episode is packed with raw insights, expert guidance, and real solutions—don’t miss it!
Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. 

PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. 

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/

Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout

Tik-Tok: @drsarahhensley

Instagram: @the_dating_decoder

Facebook: The Dating Decoder

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley



Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. 

Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

Episode 37: “The TikTok Ban”

In this episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Hensley takes a step outside her usual relationship-focused discussions to dive into a topic that’s deeply personal and timely: the TikTok ban. Known as her “home base,” TikTok is where Dr. Hensley’s journey began and where she built her most loyal community. She discusses why she believes TikTok is the best platform for amplifying organic voices without conditions or algorithms that stifle creators—a stark contrast to other social platforms.

Dr. Hensley acknowledges the flood of misinformation surrounding the TikTok ban and emphasizes the importance of educating the public about what’s really happening. Drawing on her extensive research and the developments she’s followed closely, she outlines the key players and moments in this ongoing story.

Dr. Hensley breaks this episode down with the following categories. 
*TikTok’s Role in Dr. Hensley’s Journey
• Why TikTok feels like home and why it’s unique compared to other platforms.
• The power of TikTok to amplify diverse and organic voices.
• How the platform helped her connect with her audience authentically.

*Origins of the TikTok Ban Discussion
• Concerns over TikTok’s ownership by ByteDance, a Chinese company.
• Fears about national security, data privacy, and the potential for Chinese government access to American user data.

* Both former President Biden and President Trump’s Roles in how and why the tik tok ban is happening.

*Congress and the Senate’s Role
• Hearings with TikTok’s CEO and other stakeholders.
• The bipartisan concerns about foreign influence, misinformation, and the need for stricter data privacy laws.
• Differing perspectives on whether banning TikTok is a solution or a distraction.

* The impact on Creators and Communities
• The potential fallout for creators who rely on TikTok for connection and income.
• How a ban could shift social media dynamics and stifle the organic reach that creators depend on.

*Dr. Hensley’s Takeaway
• Why it’s crucial for American people to be educated about the motivations behind these actions.
• The broader implications of censorship and government overreach on free speech.
• Her hope for a balanced solution that protects both privacy and the creative freedom of platforms like TikTok.

Dr. Hensley concludes by sharing her unwavering belief in the power of creators and communities to adapt and thrive, no matter the platform. She encourages her listeners to stay informed, engaged, and proactive in understanding the policies that affect their digital lives as well as thier constitutional rights. 

This episode is a must-listen for anyone curious about the ongoing debate surrounding TikTok and its future in the U.S.

Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. 

PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. 

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/

Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout

Tik-Tok: @drsarahhensley

Instagram: @the_dating_decoder

Facebook: The Dating Decoder

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. 

Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

Episode 36: Why They Cheat

In episode 36 of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Hensley takes a deep dive into the complex reasons behind infidelity, viewed through the lens of attachment theory. As a seasoned social psychologist and attachment expert, she offers a nuanced exploration of why individuals from different attachment styles might cheat, shedding light on the often-hidden wounds that drive this behavior.

Why Each Attachment Style Might Cheat
1. Dismissive Avoidant:
Dismissive avoidants often cheat as a way to maintain emotional distance and protect their independence. Deep down, they fear vulnerability and intimacy, and cheating allows them to avoid the commitment that comes with being fully emotionally present. They may rationalize their behavior as a way to preserve their sense of autonomy.
2. Fearful Avoidant:
With a mix of longing for closeness and a fear of rejection, fearful avoidants may cheat due to their inconsistent emotional needs. They might seek validation or comfort from someone outside the relationship while simultaneously pushing their primary partner away out of fear of betrayal. Their inner conflict often leads to impulsive decisions driven by unresolved trauma.
3. Anxious Preoccupied:
Anxious-preoccupied individuals are highly driven by a fear of being unloved or abandoned. They might cheat as a misguided attempt to get attention, reassurance, or to feel desired. Often, their infidelity stems from insecurity and an underlying belief that their partner isn’t meeting their emotional needs.

Recovering From Infidelity

Midway through the episode, Dr. Hensley shifts gears to discuss the aftermath of cheating and how couples can work to rebuild trust—if they choose to do so. She explains that recovery from infidelity is an uphill battle, requiring immense effort, vulnerability, and accountability from both partners.
• Steps to Recovery: Dr. Hensley outlines specific steps for couples attempting to heal:
1. Complete transparency and accountability from the unfaithful partner.
2. Commitment to honest communication, even when it’s uncomfortable.
3. Addressing the root cause of the infidelity, often tied to individual attachment wounds.
4. Seeking professional guidance to navigate the intense emotions and triggers that surface during this process.

However, Dr. Hensley candidly shares her professional opinion: full recovery from infidelity is rare. While some couples rebuild stronger relationships, most struggle to regain the trust and emotional safety necessary for long-term connection.

Support for Those Impacted by Infidelity

In the final segment, Dr. Hensley emphasizes the importance of compassionate, actionable support for individuals navigating the aftermath of infidelity. Whether listeners are healing from divorce, trying to mend a relationship, or contemplating leaving, Dr. Hensley’s coaching practices offer a lifeline.

She highlights how her tools and tactics—grounded in attachment theory and years of experience—equip clients to:
• Regulate their nervous system amidst emotional turmoil.
• Break free from self-blame and shame cycles.
• Set and enforce healthy boundaries, regardless of their decision to stay or leave.

Dr. Hensley assures her audience that while the pain of infidelity is profound, it is possible to heal, grow, and rediscover self-worth. Her compassionate approach provides both validation and practical strategies, empowering clients to navigate one of the most painful experiences in any relationship.

Tune in to this episode for an eye-opening discussion that combines academic insight with heartfelt guidance for those grappling with the fallout of infidelity.

Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. 

PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. 

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/

Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout

Tik-Tok: @drsarahhensley

Instagram: @the_dating_decoder

Facebook: The Dating Decoder

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.