Healing Anxious Attachment

In this episode, I’m talking about why receiving often feels uncomfortable — especially for women with anxious attachment — and how this survival pattern shows up in your body and your relationships.

We’ll explore:

• Why high-functioning women resist support
• The somatic signs you’re in survival mode
• How childhood patterns shaped your ability to receive
• What it really takes to let love land

And if you’re ready to shift this not just in your mind, but in your body — join me for my upcoming live workshop: Held – Letting Love In. In the Becoming Secure Membership.

In the workshop we go deep into the somatic healing needed to turn off survival mode and turn on your capacity to receive.

Mentioned in this episode:

THE LAUNCH PORTAL 🪞

You never “need” anything. But underneath, you’re anxious, and wishing to feel more held.

In this episode, we explore what happens when high-functioning anxiety plays out in relationships — from early dating to long-term partnership.

And most importantly, how it impacts your ability to be met, supported, and chosen.

You’ll hear:

• Why overfunctioning can push love away — even when your intentions are pure
• How emotional management erodes polarity and leads to mothering
• The kinds of men we attract when we’re performing vs. when we’re rooted in self
• And what to practice instead — so you stop chasing safety and start receiving love

If you’ve ever said “I did everything and he still pulled away, why wasn't I enough?” this episode is for you.

WORK TOGETHER 🧡

🌻 🫳🏼 BECOMING SECURE MEMBERSHIP COMMUNITY - Course + Coaching + Community

📲 Find me on Instagram

Mentioned in this episode:

THE LAUNCH PORTAL 🪞

You look like the woman who has it all together — grounded, reliable, composed.

But underneath? You’re feeling urgent, worried, and overthinking. Managing everything. And maybe quietly unraveling.

This episode is for the high-achieving, high-functioning woman who knows something feels off but can't break through on it.

We’re talking about the kind of anxiety that hides behind performing calm.

Inside, we’ll explore:

• What high-functioning anxiety really is — and how it hides in plain sight
• How emotional repression becomes self-abandonment
• The signs your body is waving the white flag (even if your mind won’t admit it)
• What your nervous system is actually craving
• Why healing requires more than just self-awareness

If you’ve been doing all the “right” things but still feel disconnected from yourself… this one will land.

Resources Mentioned:

🔗 Join the Becoming Secure Membership for access to 30+ guided somatic practices, monthly coaching calls, and high touch support from me.

📲 Message me on Instagram

❓ Take the Which Type of Anxious Attachment Are You? quiz

Mentioned in this episode:

THE LAUNCH PORTAL 🪞

We talk so much about how anxious attachment plays out in romance—but what about friendship?

If you’ve ever felt too sensitive, too intense, or too dependent in friendships—or you’ve abandoned them for romance—this conversation is for you.

In this episode, I explore the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways anxious attachment shows up in our platonic connections: overthinking texts, people-pleasing, jealousy, and the pain of feeling replaceable. We also look at deeper patterns—like recreating dynamics with your mother or sister, using male friendships as emotional placeholders, and disappearing from your friends when a new love interest enters the picture.

Go beyond understanding your patterns and actually start healing them at the root, come join us inside my membership, Becoming Secure. You’ll get nervous system-based tools, somatic practices, and community support to help you feel safe, grounded, and secure in love and life.

⏱️ Timestamps

Note: These are approximate and meant to help listeners follow the flow.

00:00 – Intro & why this topic matters

02:15 – What anxious attachment in friendship actually looks like

05:50 – How to tell if you're over-functioning or emotionally over-relying on a friend

09:30 – The mother/sister dynamic in female friendships

13:20 – Male friendships as placeholders for father wounds

16:45 – The quiet pattern of abandoning your friends for romance

20:30 – Self-reflection and starting to shift these patterns

23:00 – Invitation to go deeper inside Becoming Secure

Mentioned in this episode:

THE LAUNCH PORTAL 🪞

If you’ve ever felt guilty for having needs, setting boundaries, or taking up space—this episode is for you.

We’re unpacking the kind of guilt that doesn’t come from doing something wrong, but from trying to stay safe.

For those of us with anxious attachment, guilt can feel like a constant hum in the background—shaping our choices, silencing our truth, and keeping us small.

In this episode, I’m diving into:

• The difference between true guilt, false guilt, and shame
• How guilt shows up in anxious attachment
• How to heal unhelpful guilt responses on a nervous system level
• What it really looks like to forgive yourself and move forward

Also mentioned:

The Becoming Secure Membership

Hang on Instagram:

@johhhannamaria

Mentioned in this episode:

THE LAUNCH PORTAL 🪞

After a breakup, it’s easy to feel lost—like you don’t even recognize yourself anymore. In this episode, we’re diving into how to reconnect with you after a relationship ends.

We’ll explore what that relationship revealed about you, where you may have lost yourself, and the moments that felt out of alignment. I’ll guide you through ways to help you reclaim your identity and step back into your truth.

Connect with me on Instagram @johhhannamaria. Please send me a DM letting me know that you're coming from the podcast! 🧡

Mentioned in this episode:

THE LAUNCH PORTAL 🪞

Breakups are hard, but if you have an anxious attachment style, they can feel almost unbearable. In this episode, I’m diving into why breakups hit so hard for AA women, the weight of fresh grief, and how to move through it with clarity and self-honoring choices.

We’ll talk about the power emotional release, the importance of clear boundaries (especially when no contact might be the best option), and how to stay anchored in your truth—even when it feels impossible.

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As always you're invited to join me in the Becoming Secure Membership for guided somatic practices, journal prompts, healing exercises, and live calls. Move with a group of other women towards your most secure self. 🧡

Click here for more info.

Mentioned in this episode:

THE LAUNCH PORTAL 🪞

It can feel like anxious attachment runs you. Doubt, fear of relationship ending, and low confidence are symptoms of something deeper that your body wants to release and heal.

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Becoming Secure Membership 🎆

Learn more here.

Mentioned in this episode:

THE LAUNCH PORTAL 🪞

Valentine’s Day can bring up a lot—comparison, overthinking, and that deep desire to be chosen. In this episode, we’re unpacking why V-Day feels so triggering for anxiously attached women and how to shift from chasing love to attracting it—starting with yourself.

Join the Becoming Secure membership, click for info

Here’s what we cover in this episode:

💔 How anxious attachment amplifies fears of rejection & abandonment on romantic holidays

📱 The IG highlight reel vs. reality (with real life examples)

🚫 Why Hollywood’s “grand gestures” & perfect Valentine’s fantasy are messing with your self-worth

✨ The shift from chasing love to becoming magnetic to it

💖 A guide to self-love rituals and choosing yourself first

Whether you’re single, in a relationship, or somewhere in between, this episode will help you feel more secure, grounded, and worthy—no external validation required. 💫

Join the Becoming Secure Membership

Mentioned in this episode:

THE LAUNCH PORTAL 🪞

What is a genuine need and what is me attempting to seek validation? How can I leave conversations when I don’t like where it’s going but don’t want to be rude? I feel isolated because don’t look to others for support, I feel safe when I maintain the control what do I do? 

During this episode I share answers to highly relatable questions from inside the Monthly Membership. Join for live calls, somatic practices, and to have me support you in your growth and healing process.

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Did you like this style of episode? Let me know on Instagram.

Mentioned in this episode:

THE LAUNCH PORTAL 🪞