Just over a year ago, my father died. I was 53. Thousands of people testified to his positive impact in their lives. Me included. And…the event helped me reveal some patterns I’d repeated, that were not constructive for my life. One of the stories I share in my book, What Drives You, is that of Lori Harder. Lori was raised in a very strict, religious family. She cites they were very sedentary and most of their family time out of church, existed on the couch watching TV and eating junk food. There were all very overweight and it led to her being significantly bullied in school. But then a visit to a friend’s home opened her eyes to a different world. One of an active and healthy lifestyle with very different engagements to the world. She ultimately became a fitness model and today leads a large organization leading people to pursue their more evolved self. So I’m bringing back our conversation from years ago, before I put her in my book, to hear her story. And how it led her to focus on our “tribes.” My focus is on the power of who we surround ourselves with. Are they influences that are helping us evolve, or devolve? And in today's culture, we’ve also got to watch out for isolation where we don’t really have a tribe any longer. You can find Lori Harder…anywhere. Just type it in as it sounds, L O R I.

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Failure is a popular topic in the self-improvement world, but I feel it's generally addressed like a motivational talk. Don't let failure get you down. It's part of life. It's not failing, it's trying. Which is why I was interested when I heard about Manu Kapur (Man-oo kapoor) work on failure, who is a professor at the same university where Einstein attended and then taught. Manu studies learning and growth from a scientific standpoint and actually developed the Theory of Productive Failure, which is the name of his new book. He approaches failure completely differently. Not as something to cope with as if it happens, but something to make sure happens. And without it we have less understanding. The point isn't really even failing, but understanding. Example. I have two kids with permits right now. These are the 6th and 7th kids I've taught to drive. We have the benefit of living out on forest roads, so they can start driving with a little more freedom. I don't tell them how to do everything. I give them the basics to get started, then they get going and...I try to stay silent. Let them look around and figure things out. I take them into a wet or snowy parking lot and have them turn till they slide. It's amazing how much better they drive when they figure out for themselves. Even them asking me instead of me telling them. This is some of the essence of Manu's research and findings. You're about to hear some paradigm shifting perspective on using and leveraging failure to help your mastery, and like me, I think it will make perfect sense to you. 

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I don’t normally gravitate towards people with the huge followings and big brand personalities. But I also like a good, down to earth story of personal evolution, and this is one I’m bringing back. A few years ago I got to have a long conversation with Chalene Johnson. We recorded a couple of shows and talked for hours longer about our sordid fitness and athletic journeys. Chalene literally holds a Guinness World Record for having starred in the most fitness videos. An odd title to me, and one she questions as well. It’s part of her story. She’s a billboard ad for being fit, trim, and sexy. And yet along the way to achieving this, she hurt herself, physically and mentally. She was selling an image and killing herself to maintain it. Today she is still leading women to looking good, but feeling good as well. And one of the reasons so many people connect to her is her openness about her journey. If she realizes she’s been wrong about something, she admits it. When she tries something that doesn’t work, she shares it. We talk through her story some and lead up to to her having a big health decline that included debilitating brain fog, mood swings, and chronic pain and injuries. This is what started her questioning of the diet and fitness industry she was helping promote. She taught herself to read scientific studies and wisely evaluate the research.

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I’m thinking of a movie, Stranger Than Fiction. It came out in 2006 starring Will Ferrell, Emma Thompson, Dustin Hoffman, and Queen Latifah. In it, Will Ferrell plays a mentally unstable IRS auditor who starts hearing an author's voice in his head and as she writes this fictional story, he is the main character and the events literally happen in his life. So he hears her speak of events, such as something happening that causes his death. And he’s left talking back, saying, “Hey! Stop doing that! I’m not ok with that story!” I feel it’s an incredible depiction that I realize is actually going on in my life, and I’m not taking it seriously. In the last episode I talked with Marianne Renner, whose new book is Self-Talk: 10 Stories You Tell Yourself That Hold You Back…And How to Overcome Them. This is my muse. I invite you to think through this with me…the idea that today you are going along listening to a fairly fictional depiction of your life that if you’re not aware of, you’ll just agree with. Also, if you’ll go to mariannerenner.com/selftalk, you can get the first three chapters of Marianne’s book absolutely free. 

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We all think we know what self-talk is. But I think we miss the gravity of it. I’m reminded of the joke where one fish asks another fish "how's the water?" The other fish replies, "what the heck is water?" We were never introduced to our own self-talk, it was there since the day we were conceived to varying degrees. We are not necessarily conscious of it. In this episode we expand on self-talk to help you conceptualize how it is your very perception of life. My guest is Marianne Renner. I’ve gotten to know Marianne well over the last year and she has a real story of not only changing her self-talk, but transforming herself in a way that she can’t really even recognize the person she used to be. She lost her mom at an early age and was left with a broken hearted father. She fell into addiction. She considered ending her life. Even tried. And then had one of those divine moments of clarity. To me it is akin to the fish all of the sudden realizing it was in water. Marianne has not just changed her life, she has changed the very essence of the person she is, and she’s thriving. She has a new book coming out, Self-Talk: 10 Stories You Tell Yourself That Hold You Back…And How to Overcome Them. On a personal side, one of Marianne’s mentors in her journey to remake herself and her life, was my father. Dan Miller. He encouraged her to write a book. She did, completing it right around the time my Dad died. She had him in mind to write the forward to her book. But in his absence, she asked me to carry on the legacy. I am incredibly honored to have written a heartfelt forward for Marianne’s book. I’m honored for multiple reasons, the top one being, I feel this is a message we all desperately need. If you’ll go to mariannerenner.com/selftalk, you can get the first three chapters of her book absolutely free.

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Mentors. Chances are slim you have someone who really fills the role. These days people will tend to cite their favorite authors and philosophers and influences as their mentors. And to that degree, I’d say that almost everyone in my life “mentors” me, as I learn from everyone. But I really define a mentor as someone who literally knows you and is invested in helping guide you. We used to have this in families where we lived in a village and closely amongst family and friends. We had grandparents, aunts and uncles and even neighbors who were truly involved in our lives. Today, we are isolated. A few years ago I sat down with Ken Blanchard, famous business and personal leader. Ken authored The One Minute Manager which is a business classic and has sold more than 15 million copies. But this conversation wasn’t about management. It was about mentoring. Ken became the mentor for Claire Diaz-Ortiz, who is an author, speaker and innovation advisor who was an early employee at Twitter. She was named one of the 100 Most Creative People in Business by Fast Company and called “The Woman Who Got the Pope on Twitter.” Clair  is an award-winning author of eight books that have been published in more than a dozen countries. But the story here is Ken became a mentor to Claire, and together they co-authored a book titled, One Minute Mentoring: How to Find and Work With a Mentor - and Why You’ll Benefit from Being One. Ken asked Claire to do this book with him because he not only personally mentors her, but she in turn mentors him in regards to the younger generation. It makes an incredibly valuable perspective on the need, value and opportunity of mentoring. I bring this back because at the age of 53, I found a true mentor in my life, and it has been transformational. 

My core devotion is to finding deep fulfillment in life, and helping others find find it as well. When I’m not on this microphone I’m working with people as a life coach and often applying what fulfills them into their work and business. Connect with me at kevinmiller.co or email me at [email protected].

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We all understand what alignment is in regards to our car. It’s pulling one way or the other, the steering wheel is crooked when we drive straight. Over time it wears our tires out incorrectly, and if you’ve ever had an old, beat up car like I have, you are literally pulling it one way the entire time you drive. I find our lives are often this way in some areas. We are not in alignment. But we, and I mean me as well, so often think we’re doing others and the world a favor by enduring it. But being sacrificial. That’s what love is, right? Well, I used to think so. I don’t anymore. Not long term. My past episode with Cathy Heller and the message in her new book, Abundant Ever After: Tools For Creating A Life Of Prosperity And Ease, has me looking at my alignment again and considering what the collateral damage could be if I don’t correct it. If you get Cathy’s book, go to cathyheller.com/book and you can get some of her key courses for free.

My core devotion is to finding deep fulfillment in life, and helping others find find it as well. When I’m not on this microphone I’m working with people as a life coach and often applying what fulfills them into their work and business. Connect with me at kevinmiller.co or email me at [email protected].

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I grew up in the Christian church amongst celebrated Bible verses, such as, “Ask and ye shall receive,” “Knock and the door will be open to you,” and “Seek, and ye shall find.” These concepts and requests were to be aimed at God. Today we hear a lot about manifesting. This often gets friction from the religious crowd as it feels like credit is given to the individual and not God. In this episode today I have a conversation with Cathy Heller about it. We are not discussing, dissecting, or debating religion or doctrine, but really honing in on our expectations, a concept I’ve been researching again as of late. Can I have faith in God but suffer from not expecting good things to come my way? Can I not have faith in God but benefit because I do expect good things to come my way? And thus my title for this episode of asking, “Can Anything Overcome Our Expectations For Ourselves?” Cathy Heller is a renowned teacher, podcaster and author. She hosts a top spiritual podcast, Abundant Ever After. She is a practitioner of what she cites as the law of reception, and has a large following that includes a lot of the top psychologists I respect and have had here on the podcast. Her recent book is called, Abundant Ever After: Tools For Creating A Life Of Prosperity And Ease, and as I read it I just resonated with Cathy’s spirit and intrigued myself with her perspectives, so following is our discussion together. If you decide to buy her book, go to cathyheller.com/book and she has some of her courses she’ll give you for free. 

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We often hear about morning routines and the best time for certain activities. What I mostly hear however, are people’s experiences of what works best for them, and while I’m appreciative they’ve found what works for them, I’m cautious to take anything and say it’s what everyone should do. I am interested in what research actually says though. Dan Pink is one of the most prolific researchers I know when it comes to human potential. I’ve lost track of how many best selling books he has written, such as A Whole New Mind and The Power of Regret. I’ve had Dan on this show multiple times, but this recording was my first time with him and it was around a book he wrote titled, When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing. Dan did the literal research to find statistics on when the best time was, for us as humans to perform certain activities. What times were best for certain conversations. Think of it as what time is statistically most optimal. What time will give you the best chance of success to do something. I fascinated myself with it, which is why I’m bringing this episode back for you to benefit from.

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