To make this statement, which is subjective, we need to clarify what we mean by self-worth. I have nine kids. Did they have any worth as infants? Or no, because they hadn’t earned their self worth  yet? How about as toddlers? Kindergartners? My belief is they were born with self worth. They deserve to have value in the world just because they exist. I think of the Rocky Mountains I live in. I don’t perceive that anything I observe has to earn its worth. They have worth because they are. Now us as humans, we may want to do some things. Grow and test ourselves. I get that and still look to behave in ways I respect as good choices and efforts. But like Viktor Frankl in a Nazi concentration camp, I want my self-worth not to rely on anything. I wish I’d understood this earlier in my life, as I’ve spent most of it working to earn my errant concept of, or ignorance toward, my self-worth. So in this episode I bring on a wonderful guide for this topic. Michelle Maros  is the cofounder of Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life, a non-profit that has inspired a global community dedicated to mental health, mindfulness, and emotional well-being, and she co-hosts the popular podcast Life Happens with Barb & Michelle, alongside her mom, Barb, where they have heartfelt conversations blending personal stories, spiritual insights, and practical tools for navigating life’s ups and downs. Michelle has devoted herself to extensive training in meditation and mindfulness and has a deep passion for helping people cultivate happiness, fulfillment, and inner peace. She has become a leading voice of her generation— reminding people that inner peace isn’t found in perfection, but in showing up each day with intention, compassion, and authenticity. She just came out with a book, Dear Friend: Daily Notes for Contemplation, Connection, and Clarity. I relate it to a daily devotional, and have been inspiring and reminding myself with her daily insights. As you’ll hear, I’m gifting some people in my life with this book for Christmas.

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I continue to research human communication and find the vast majority of everything we communicate is subjective. We are seldom discussing facts and right, wrong, black, white issues. They may feel so to us, but if pressed we’d need to admit that what we are arguing or advocating for is not fact. The topic or issue is not unanimously proven. But it’s efficient to just cite our perspective as truth. It takes time and effort to really understand and consider all sides. So I sat down with an expert on this concept. Wendy K. Smith has a PhD in organizational behavior from Harvard and is the Dana J. Johnson Professor of Management and faculty director of the Women’s Leadership Initiative at University of Delaware. She is an expert on organizational paradoxes, exploring how leaders and individuals effectively respond to contradictory, yet interdependent demands. She spends her time continually working to better manage the paradoxes of life that we all face. Wendy is co-author of the book,"Both/And Thinking: Embracing Creative Tensions to Solve Your Toughest Problems.” This topic is of utmost importance to me as I continue to see our world in conflict and people more isolated.

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In your younger years, you may have thought about your future self. I always wanted to be 30 and I would envision what it would look and feel like. I ultimately became 30. There I was. But I did not arrive and become the ultimate “Kevin” at that point. Five years passed and I became 35 and thought about how far I had come since 30. And this continues happening. As of this recording I just turned 55. Five years from now I’ll be 60 and likely be amazed at how much I have grown and evolved past the 55 year old I am now. This is the focus of this episode.  I am back with Dr Benjamin Hardy. I have had Ben on this podcast six or seven times. His personal story is the lead in the first chapter of my book, “What Drives You.” Ben’s books on willpower, personality, and personal transformation have put him at the top of the human potential movement. Here I give focus to Ben’s book,  Be Your Future Self Now: The Science of Intentional Transformation. It was through Ben that I first heard the concept of, “End of history illusion”, where as I led off with, we look back with amazement at how far we have evolved from who we used to be, but we think who we are now is…who we are. Ben takes us through his research to see how we can open up our personal transformation if we will engage with the future self we are going to become and not only conceive of who we are today. Ben Hardy is an organizational psychologist and has devoted significant research to this issue and become a leading expert on the application of Future Self science. Ben’s new book, Be Your Future Self Now, can be found everywhere and you can connect with him at benjaminhardy.com. 

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In this episode we talk a lot about running. But I want to expand it to all of you who spend a good amount of time outside in the elements. This isn’t a discussion to should on anyone, but just to share the value we’ve found in going outside, year around, braving the elements and the discomforts of our own bodies. What we gain, what we learn. So if you ride a bike, hike, swim, even walk, I think you’ll resonate with this discussion and possibly expand your joy in getting outside. My guest is Nicholas Thompson, well known as CEO of The Atlantic, an American magazine founded in 1857, which earned the top honor for magazines, General Excellence, at the National Magazine Awards in both 2022 and 2023. I’ve had multiple writers for The Atlantic on this podcast, such as Arthur Brooks and Charles Duhigg, both of whom have appeared here twice. Before joining The Atlantic, Nick was the editor-in-chief of Wired magazine and a contributor for CBS News. Nick has long been a competitive runner and in 2021, he set the American record for men 45+ in the 50K race. Nick just came out with a new book, The Running Ground: A Father, a Son, and the Simplest of Sports. In it, Nick shares his relationship with running, pushing himself, overcoming a challenging father, the death of his father, his own bout with cancer, dealing with obsessions, and why in the hiring process he looks for people’s ability to suffer for an end goal. I took the opportunity to commiserate with Nicholas on the joys of our devotion to going outside pretty much every day, to exert ourselves, and how the effort gives us a different experience of life. I think more so in today’s culture than ever where we tend to both stay inside more, and avoid any discomforts more. Again, I think those of you who do such things will find this talk confirming, and for those of you who don’t, I hope it will give more breadth to your thoughts about getting out and getting your heart rate up.

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In today’s culture I feel we have conflated beliefs with facts. I view us as a culture at war with our perspectives. We are seldom arguing about literal facts. Look at the news headlines, social media, and any reporting entity and you find great polarization and emotion around issues. And what is generally being debated is again, not fact, but belief. Belief we grow to thinking is actually fact, even when it can’t be. Why? My guest cites how we so often attach our beliefs to our identity. Then if the belief is questioned, your very identity is being questioned. Think about this. Have you ever heard someone say, “I tend to vote for Democrats, I align with a Catholic faith, I eat vegan, and I run a lot for exercise.” No. Listen to how we say it; “I’m a democrat, I’m a Catholic, I’m a vegan, and I’m a runner.” I am. It’s not my belief, it’s who I am. So let’s talk about what this is doing to us. My guest is cognitive scientist Andy Norman. Or let me rephrase that. My guest is Andy Norman who works as lot in cognitive science. Andy is an award-winning author of Mental Immunity: Infectious Ideas, Mind-Parasites, and the Search for a Better Way to Think. His research is on the emerging science of mental immunity as the antidote to disinformation, propaganda, hate, and division. Andy strives to help people develop immunity to bad ideas. As you’ll hear, my focus is really on the harm we do to ourselves and others when we are so rigid in our beliefs we won’t consider anyone who differs. As I already mentioned, Andy showcases how many, if not most of our beliefs, are more tied to our self-image than truth, and how this hurts us and everyone else. It’s ok to have strong beliefs, but if you feel strong in them and it’s not just to support your personal bias, then wouldn’t you be strong enough to allow someone to explain their differing beliefs and actually seek to understand them? My interest is around connection and peace instead of the conflict we continually see in our culture. Andy directs the Humanism Initiative at Carnegie Mellon University and you can find him at andynorman.org.

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Surveys show there are more people in therapy than ever. On one hand I feel there is more benefit in talking with someone than not. And on the other hand I’m concerned whether all the therapy is paying off. Statistically, mental health continues on a decline. So when I heard about SFBT therapy, I intrigued myself. SFBT is Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, defined as a goal-oriented, short-term approach that focuses on identifying a client's strengths and resources to find solutions to their problems, rather than dwelling on the problems themselves. My guest today is one of the foremost experts on Solution-Focused Brief Therapy. Elliott Connie is a respected author, top psychotherapist, and thought leader in Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT), takes a fresh approach. He has a book, Change Your Questions, Change Your Future: Overcome Challenges and Create a New Vision for Your Life Using the Principles of Solution-Focused Brief Therapy. In his book, Elliott challenges readers to rethink their questions and the thinking behind them, and I resonate with the concepts very much. The idea is using powerful, forward-focused questions that are designed to help you shift your mindset and create meaningful change. The highlights for me were the realization of how much more powerful it is when we think for ourselves and ask questions, rather than be told something. When we are told something by someone else, we can often push back against it. When we consider and come up with an answer to a question ourselves, we listen. We also got deep into the power of knowing and living in accordance with our core values. But not the “big picture core values,” as Elliott points out. We tend to think of beliefs and morality, but where he finds it most powerful is in the day to day values that actually support who we are and want to be. Elliott’s book, Change Your Questions, Change Your Future, is available now, and you can connect with him and SFBT at elliottconnie.com

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In 2022 I was deep into therapy regarding my marriage and myself. My counselor at the time recommended a book, “​​I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression,” by a therapist named Terry Real. I read the book and opened up a whole new level of understanding about myself. Terry then released a book titled US: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship, which my therapist also recommended. Shortly after I was contacted by an agency about having Terry on this podcast. He was being touted as actress Gwyneth Paltrow’s favorite relational therapist and was being praised by actor Bradley Cooper, psychotherapist Esther Perel, and the forward to the book is a candid, vulnerable story from Bruce Springsteen where he shares, “At age thirty two I hit an emotional wall and realized I was lost in a deep dark forest, largely of my own making, without a map. So began forty years of trying to find my way through the shadowed trees, down to the river of a sustaining life. Terry Real has been a guide and this book is a map through those trees.” For me the book revealed much about how I perceived a separateness in my relationships that was not helping create connection and intimacy. In Us, Terry showcases how we culturally live as “you and me” when the bedrock of our being is us. I agree. Find Terry at terryreal.com.

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If I asked you why we communicate with others, what would your reply be? I think my mind initially went to sharing information. But as you will soon hear, my guest cites that only 15-18% of our daily communications are about mere information. What is the primary reason we communicate then? We communicate to connect with others. My interest then is considering how much of my communication actually results in true connection. I have a world expert with me. Charles Duhigg. Charles is a Pulitzer prize-winning journalist and the author of The Power of Habit, which spent over three years on bestseller lists is my favorite book on habits. In February of 2024 I had him here on the show for the first time to talk about his then new book, Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection. The book has already sold over a million copies and I brought him back on to talk further about my own evolution in connecting, and to celebrate the release of the paperback version of Supercommunicators. Charles also writes for The New Yorker magazine and previously wrote for The New York Times and is a graduate of Yale University and Harvard Business School. You can connect with him at charlesduhigg.com.

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I find it rare for anyone to make a big deviation from their normal routine. We work hard to get ourselves to a place where we are managing our lives with stability. We get routines and schedules that feel comfortable, safe, and efficient. I’m growing to appreciate seasons of this lifestyle. And yet, I find a danger of getting into a rut that is hard to break out of, and our minds can get lazy. Breaking out in small, incremental steps may work for some people. But I’m a fan of some hard resets. As I record this intro for the podcast I’m nearing the end of a 72 hour fast. The reason, even though I greatly appreciate the mental clarity and acuity I experience, the reason was mainly to give my body a chance to fully recover and reset itself from the constant barrage of food. In a similar concept, my guest today invites you on a 12 hour walk. In 2018, Colin O’Brady became the first person in history to complete a solo, unsupported, fully human-powered crossing of Antarctica’s landmass. Dragging a 375-pound sled for 54 days across 932 miles of ice. Colin holds 11 world records as a renowned explorer. As this podcast goes live on November 21, 2025, Colin is back in Antarctica on a quest called FURTHER that started on Nov. 5th. Further is a 1,780 mile, 110 day solo, unsupported, and fully human-powered crossing of Antarctica. From ocean to ocean, the route spans not only the continent itself but also nearly 1,000 miles of frozen sea — the ice shelves that flank Antarctica’s edge. I sat down with Colin a few years ago after he had been homebound by COVID, and then up and told his wife he was going for a walk. And right then and from his home, he walked for 12 hours. What resulted was a reset of his mind. Of his motivation. Of his perspective on life. He impacted himself so much that he wrote a book about it, The 12-Hour Walk: Invest One Day, Conquer Your Mind, and Unlock Your Best Life. We talk about our inclination to go from kids, youth, and even young adults with big dreams and ideas, and relegate ourselves to the mundane. But I’m not out to promote you, just do it, go bigger, and do more. I’m not even that interested in talking about how we are all capable of more. I interest myself with how we can be different. Maybe better, but different. And maybe that different is actually…going smaller. Doing less. The idea is more about doing something to shake us out of our mold and get a reset. And from this, consider new possibilities for ourselves and our lives and our overall life experience. Connect with Colin and even watch a live, interactive map of his current expedition, at colinobrady.com.

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