How often do you say "yes" when you really want to say "no"? If you've ever felt that way, you're not alone! Today, we're diving into what happens when you stand up to someone in all areas of life—work, relationships, even healthcare. 

My guest is the incredible Dr. Sunita Sah, an award-winning professor at Cornell and author of Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes. Dr. Sah's research focuses on why so many of us feel pressured to go along with things we don't believe in and how we can cultivate the courage to say "no" when it matters most.

In this episode, you'll learn how social norms and "insinuation anxiety" hold us back from standing up for our true selves. You’ll walk away with the confidence to take small, powerful steps toward defiance in a way that feels authentic and empowering.

Timestamps

00:22 - Meet Dr. Sunita Sah: Her Story of Transformation

00:47 - The Psychology of Compliance and Defiance

01:31 - Defying Social Pressures: Real-Life Stories

02:07 - Why Compliance in the Workplace Hurts Us All

07:37 - A Fresh Take on Defiance: It’s Not What You Think

10:11 - The Social Roots of Compliance

17:51 - Facing the Inner Blocks to Standing Up for Yourself

25:32 - Practical Steps to Strengthen Your Defiance Muscle

33:23 - Living Authentically: The Real Benefits of Saying No

45:02 - Wrapping Up: Your Takeaways and Resources

Having low self esteem can make it hard to stand up for yourself. Is this true for you? Find out by taking my free Self Esteem Quiz! You’ll find out where your self esteem thrives and discover new areas for growth. Take it here. 

And, join me for a live Q&A this Thursday at 12 pm MT on YouTube, where we'll be talking all about self-advocacy. Want to submit a question anonymously? Use this link

PS: Think of someone who could use a boost in self-advocacy? Share this episode with them, and let’s help each other live authentically! ❤️

Is pornography addiction taking a toll on your life or relationship? You’re not alone, and real help is here! 🙌 

In this episode of Love, Happiness, and Success, I sit down with the incredible Sathiya Sam, founder of the Deep Clean program, to discuss what recovery from porn addiction actually looks like. 

Together, we dive into tough (but crucial) questions: How do you spot the signs of addiction? What does true healing look like for both individuals and couples? And, most importantly, how can you support a partner without losing yourself along the way?

🎥 Ready to learn practical strategies for growth, connection, and positive change? Listen now and find actionable steps to help you or your loved one break free from pornography addiction, once and for all. 

Timestamps:

00:00 – The Hidden Impact of Porn Addiction

01:03 – Meet Sathiya: From Personal Struggle to Lifelong Mission

06:21 – Spotting the Warning Signs

10:46 – The Toll on Relationships and Intimacy

13:48 – Physical and Emotional Consequences

18:35 – Healing Betrayal Trauma Together

21:13 – Steps Toward Lasting Recovery

22:53 – Three Core Steps to Heal

23:41 – Building Self-Awareness

26:40 – How Trauma Shapes Addiction

30:56 – Supporting Your Partner’s Recovery (Without Losing Yourself)

36:41 – Long-Term Transformation

If you or a loved one are ready to break free from porn addiction, I have something to share with you. Recovery starts with connection—and connection starts with communication. My free video training series, Communication That Connects, is here to help you open up, ask for support, and rebuild trust with those who matter most. You don’t have to do this alone. 

Your partner in growth, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

P.S. Don’t miss this week’s live stream on Thursday at 12 pm MT here on YouTube, where we'll dive deeper into porn addiction recovery. Submit your anonymous questions in advance – I’d love to help you find your way forward. 💬

Are you walking on eggshells, questioning your sanity, and starting to wonder if your partner’s behavior is actually...narcissism?

In this episode, we’re diving deep into the challenging and often painful question of whether you might be married to a narcissist. Narcissism isn’t a one-size-fits-all diagnosis; it has shades, nuances, and layers, which can make it tough to recognize and even harder to deal with.

Chapters:

00:45 - The Signs You’re Married to a Narcissist

10:47 - The Two Types of Narcissists: Wounded vs. Malignant. 

19:12 - Inside the Narcissistic Relationship Cycle

27:00 - Can a Relationship with a Narcissist Work? 

44:42 - Strategies to Navigate Conflicts. 

If you're in a relationship with someone who might be a narcissist, I know how exhausting and frustrating communication can be. That's why I created my free 2-part video training, Communication That Connects. You’ll learn practical tools to de-escalate arguments, protect your emotional well-being, and build healthier patterns of connection, even with difficult personalities. I hope you check it out. ❤️

And don’t forget to join me for this week’s livestream on Thursday at 12 pm MT / 2pm ET on YouTube, where we’ll chat all about being married to a narcissist. You can ask an anonymous question in advance at https://www.growingself.com/dear-lisa.

If you know someone else who could benefit from this episode, send it over to them! Let’s keep looking out for each other. 

Xo, Dr. Lisa

GrowingSelf.com

Are You Exhausted Trying to Help Someone Who Won’t Change? Here’s What Actually Works!

Have you ever bent over backward trying to help someone you love, only to feel like you’re getting nowhere? You’re not alone—and I’ve got good news: people can change. But here’s the kicker: they’ll only do it when it comes from within.

In this episode, I’m breaking down the psychology of change, the stages people go through, and the surprising reason why trying to force change never works (spoiler alert: it usually backfires). You’ll also learn powerful, actionable strategies to:

✅ Set healthy boundaries (without guilt). ✅ Protect your emotional well-being (because you matter too!). ✅ Provide the kind of support that actually encourages growth.

If you’re ready to stop feeling stuck and frustrated, and instead discover the most effective way to empower someone on their journey—this is for you. 🎧

Timestamps You’ll Love: 00:00 – Why It Feels Impossible to Change Someone Else 01:15 – Can People Really Change? (Yes, But Here’s the Secret) 03:45 – The Real Power of Intrinsic Motivation 06:20 – The Stages of Change: Where Your Loved One Might Be 12:40 – Setting Boundaries That Encourage Growth 18:55 – Avoiding the Trap of Enabling 23:15 – Free Tools to Help You and Your Loved One

BONUS GOODIES! 👉 Want to help a loved one uncover what’s really holding them back? Share my free What’s Holding You Back? Quiz with them—it’s designed to uncover hidden obstacles, subconscious blocks, and personal strengths to help them move forward with confidence.

👉 Don’t miss this week’s YouTube Livestream: How to Help Someone Who Doesn’t Want to Help Themselves (Thursday, 12 pm MT). You can even submit an anonymous question ahead of time here: www.growingself.com/dear-lisa.

This conversation could change everything. See you there! 🎥

Are political differences with people you love threatening to tear your relationships apart? You’re definitely not alone! Today, we’re diving deep into the delicate dance of keeping relationships healthy across political divides. 

In this episode, I’m sharing the strategies to help you navigate tricky conversations with grace, keep your cool, and protect your own happiness along the way. By the end, you’ll know exactly how to preserve the connections you care about most, even when politics threaten to tear you apart. Stick around to the end—I’ve got some free resources to help you practice these skills and share them with your loved ones. Let’s jump in!

Timestamps:

00:00 - Are Political Differences Threatening Your Relationships?  

04:22 - Assess the Importance of Each Relationship  

07:32 - Radical Acceptance (It's Tough, But Worth It!)  

11:12 - Emotional Regulation - How to Stay Cool  

16:49 - Focus on the Positives (Yes, Really!)  

23:09 - Set & Maintain Healthy Boundaries  

32:18 - Advanced Skills: Radical Curiosity and Empathy  

39:06 - Free Resources + Final Thoughts

If you loved this episode, don’t miss the next video in this series! Let’s keep building those relationship skills.

P.S. Need a little more support? Check out my free Communication That Connects 2-Part Video Series. Also, join me Thursday at 12 pm MT for a live session right here on YouTube on this very topic, how to navigate political differences in relationships. You can even submit an anonymous question right here.

Are you feeling stuck in a cycle of conflict and misunderstanding with your partner? You're not alone—and you're not powerless to fix it! In today’s episode, I’m breaking down how to fix a broken relationship by exploring the underlying patterns that keep couples locked in negative cycles.

Plus, I’ll share my own story (yes, I’ve been there too) and reveal the key strategies and mindset shifts that can help bring you and your partner back together. If you’ve been trying to make things better but feel like you’re swimming against the tide, tune in for some essential insights and actionable steps to get your relationship back on track

In this video, we’ll cover:

0:32 – The Toxic Spiral of Negative Communication  

3:15 – Uncovering the Hidden Patterns  

6:48 – How Negative Cycles Shape Perception  

10:25 – Breaking Free and Finding Real Solutions  

15:45 – When to Seek Help  

Want more guidance on fixing your relationship? Check out my free resource, How Healthy Is Your Relationship Quiz. Using this quiz, you’ll be able to decipher strengths and growth points in your relationship. 

If you want to ask me a question about your relationship, join me this Thursday at 12 pm MT on YouTube for my Livestream about how to fix a broken relationship. Submit your question anonymously here: https://www.growingself.com/dear-lisa. See you there!

"This wasn't supposed to happen!"

Have you ever felt life throw you a curveball so big it knocked you flat? It’s that gut-punch moment when plans unravel, your candidate didn't win, dreams dissolve, and you’re left wondering, “Now what?” In this episode, I’ll take you through the tools and mindset shifts needed to transform disappointment into personal growth. We’ll talk about the power of radical acceptance, why it’s okay to feel all the feels, and how to find the hidden opportunities in setbacks.

Timestamps:  

00:00 Intro: Life’s Unexpected Curveballs  

01:22 Embracing Disappointment: Feel All the Emotions  

05:46 Finding the Lesson in Loss  

15:23 Radical Acceptance and Moving Forward  

18:36 Steer Clear of Destructive Reactions  

21:16 What Does This Make Possible?

24:15 Conclusion and Free Resources  

PS: Get free access to my Emotional Wellness Collection, a personally curated podcast and blog collection designed to help you grow and stay well emotionally. 

Also, don’t miss our live Q&A this Thursday at 12 PM MT on YouTube, where we’ll dive even deeper into this topic. Submit an anonymous question in advance here:

https://www.growingself.com/dear-lisa

See you there!

How strong is your intuition? Do you trust your inner wisdom? More importantly… can you tell the difference between intuitive thoughts and anxiety? Today you’re going to learn how to trust your gut! 

In this episode, I’m thrilled to sit down with Brittney Carmichael, intuitive healer and founder of Shine School, as we dig into how to tell the difference between intuition and anxiety, the subtle cues of inner wisdom, and ways to strengthen this instinct into a true superpower.

Whether you’re an intuitive veteran or someone just starting to listen to that quiet inner voice, this conversation will give you the practical tools you need to better understand, trust, and strengthen your intuitive thought.

Timestamps:

00:00 - Intro: Intuition or Anxiety?

02:23 - Intuition vs. Fear: Brittany’s Insights

05:14 - Building Intuitive Strength 

10:39 - Brittany’s Journey to Inner Wisdom

20:24 - Understanding Your Inner Voice

29:54 - Self-Love as a Foundation for Intuition

33:02 - Power of Positive Self-Talk

49:17 - How to Trust Your Inner Wisdom

*P.S.* Want to dig even deeper? Take the free "What's Holding You Back?" quiz and get clarity on what might be standing in your way. Plus, join me for this week’s Livestream Q&A on Intuitive Thought, Thursday at 12 pm MT,on Instragram, Facebook, or Youtube. Submit an anonymous question in advance here: https://www.growingself.com/dear-lisa.

Ever feel like the love, support, or security you needed growing up was just… missing? And now, you’re feeling the effects in your relationships, your self-esteem, or even your ability to create the life you *really* want? If this hits home, don’t worry—you’re not stuck! 

This week I’m joined by THE legendary Dr. Dan Siegel, and we’re diving deep into the powerful process of reparenting yourself. Together, we’re going to show you how to rewire your brain for emotional healing, break free from past patterns, and build healthy, fulfilling relationships.

✨ In this episode, you’ll learn:

- How childhood experiences shape your adult life (but don’t define it!)

- The healing power of contingent communication in relationships

- Practical strategies like the *Wheel of Awareness* for personal growth

- The importance of presence over perfection in parenting—and in life!

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Emotional Healing

02:41 The Importance of Childhood Development

06:29 Understanding Contingent Communication

13:55 The Impact of Early Experiences on Adult Life

14:31 Healing from the Past

20:12 Developing Healthier Relationship Patterns

21:19 Understanding Temperament and Personality

23:35 The Enneagram and Attachment Insecurity (Really!)

27:09 Practical Techniques for Personal Growth

30:25 The Role of Agency, Bonding, and Certainty

35:33 Achieving Wholeness and Integration

38:26 Resources and Final Thoughts

🌟 Want more? Grab this free resource I created for you: a curated collection of all my best articles and podcasts on attachment, emotional healing, and healthy relationships at https://www.growingself.com/connections/.

And… drumroll please! Join me for this week’s live Q&A on Thursday at 12 pm MT on Youtube, Instagram, and/or Facebook where I’ll be talking about emotional healing and reparenting yourself!

Got a question? Ask me anonymously in advance using this link: https://www.growingself.com/dear-lisa

Let’s grow together! 🌱

Love,  

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Ever feel like your friendship is taking more out of you than it gives? If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a relationship that feels draining, toxic, or just plain bad, you’re in the right place. In this episode of Love, Happiness & Success, I’m sitting down with Dr. Marisa Franco, a brilliant psychologist and bestselling author of Platonic, to talk about one of the toughest aspects of relationships—knowing when a friendship is no longer serving you.

Together, we’ll dive into the signs of toxic friends, how attachment styles play a role in our friendships, and whether or not these kinds of relationships can be saved. You’ll learn practical strategies to spot the red flags, approach difficult conversations with kindness and clarity, and—if it comes to it—find the courage to end friendships that have run their course.

Here’s what we cover:

• [00:00] The Friendship Trap: Why difficult friendships are harder to leave than romantic ones.
• [03:57] Attachment Styles in Friendships: How your past impacts your present friendships.
• [11:40] Making Positive Changes: How to recognize toxic patterns and start healing.
• [17:34] Conflict or Goodbye? How to assess if this friendship can be saved.
• [28:21] Deciding to End a Friendship: When enough is enough, and how to let go with grace.

If you’ve ever wondered whether a friendship is worth fighting for or it’s time to walk away, this episode is for you.

Ready to dig deeper? Take my free self-esteem quiz to see how your self-worth might be impacting your relationships: How Healthy is Your Self-Esteem?

Also, I’d love for you to join me for this week’s YouTube Livestream on Thursday at 12 pm MT, where we’ll talk even more about navigating toxic friendships. Submit an anonymous question in advance right here: Dear Lisa. I’ll see you there!

— Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby