"This wasn't supposed to happen!"

Have you ever felt life throw you a curveball so big it knocked you flat? It’s that gut-punch moment when plans unravel, your candidate didn't win, dreams dissolve, and you’re left wondering, “Now what?” In this episode, I’ll take you through the tools and mindset shifts needed to transform disappointment into personal growth. We’ll talk about the power of radical acceptance, why it’s okay to feel all the feels, and how to find the hidden opportunities in setbacks.

Timestamps:  

00:00 Intro: Life’s Unexpected Curveballs  

01:22 Embracing Disappointment: Feel All the Emotions  

05:46 Finding the Lesson in Loss  

15:23 Radical Acceptance and Moving Forward  

18:36 Steer Clear of Destructive Reactions  

21:16 What Does This Make Possible?

24:15 Conclusion and Free Resources  

PS: Get free access to my Emotional Wellness Collection, a personally curated podcast and blog collection designed to help you grow and stay well emotionally. 

Also, don’t miss our live Q&A this Thursday at 12 PM MT on YouTube, where we’ll dive even deeper into this topic. Submit an anonymous question in advance here:

https://www.growingself.com/dear-lisa

See you there!

How strong is your intuition? Do you trust your inner wisdom? More importantly… can you tell the difference between intuitive thoughts and anxiety? Today you’re going to learn how to trust your gut! 

In this episode, I’m thrilled to sit down with Brittney Carmichael, intuitive healer and founder of Shine School, as we dig into how to tell the difference between intuition and anxiety, the subtle cues of inner wisdom, and ways to strengthen this instinct into a true superpower.

Whether you’re an intuitive veteran or someone just starting to listen to that quiet inner voice, this conversation will give you the practical tools you need to better understand, trust, and strengthen your intuitive thought.

Timestamps:

00:00 - Intro: Intuition or Anxiety?

02:23 - Intuition vs. Fear: Brittany’s Insights

05:14 - Building Intuitive Strength 

10:39 - Brittany’s Journey to Inner Wisdom

20:24 - Understanding Your Inner Voice

29:54 - Self-Love as a Foundation for Intuition

33:02 - Power of Positive Self-Talk

49:17 - How to Trust Your Inner Wisdom

*P.S.* Want to dig even deeper? Take the free "What's Holding You Back?" quiz and get clarity on what might be standing in your way. Plus, join me for this week’s Livestream Q&A on Intuitive Thought, Thursday at 12 pm MT,on Instragram, Facebook, or Youtube. Submit an anonymous question in advance here: https://www.growingself.com/dear-lisa.

Ever feel like the love, support, or security you needed growing up was just… missing? And now, you’re feeling the effects in your relationships, your self-esteem, or even your ability to create the life you *really* want? If this hits home, don’t worry—you’re not stuck! 

This week I’m joined by THE legendary Dr. Dan Siegel, and we’re diving deep into the powerful process of reparenting yourself. Together, we’re going to show you how to rewire your brain for emotional healing, break free from past patterns, and build healthy, fulfilling relationships.

✨ In this episode, you’ll learn:

- How childhood experiences shape your adult life (but don’t define it!)

- The healing power of contingent communication in relationships

- Practical strategies like the *Wheel of Awareness* for personal growth

- The importance of presence over perfection in parenting—and in life!

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Emotional Healing

02:41 The Importance of Childhood Development

06:29 Understanding Contingent Communication

13:55 The Impact of Early Experiences on Adult Life

14:31 Healing from the Past

20:12 Developing Healthier Relationship Patterns

21:19 Understanding Temperament and Personality

23:35 The Enneagram and Attachment Insecurity (Really!)

27:09 Practical Techniques for Personal Growth

30:25 The Role of Agency, Bonding, and Certainty

35:33 Achieving Wholeness and Integration

38:26 Resources and Final Thoughts

🌟 Want more? Grab this free resource I created for you: a curated collection of all my best articles and podcasts on attachment, emotional healing, and healthy relationships at https://www.growingself.com/connections/.

And… drumroll please! Join me for this week’s live Q&A on Thursday at 12 pm MT on Youtube, Instagram, and/or Facebook where I’ll be talking about emotional healing and reparenting yourself!

Got a question? Ask me anonymously in advance using this link: https://www.growingself.com/dear-lisa

Let’s grow together! 🌱

Love,  

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Ever feel like your friendship is taking more out of you than it gives? If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a relationship that feels draining, toxic, or just plain bad, you’re in the right place. In this episode of Love, Happiness & Success, I’m sitting down with Dr. Marisa Franco, a brilliant psychologist and bestselling author of Platonic, to talk about one of the toughest aspects of relationships—knowing when a friendship is no longer serving you.

Together, we’ll dive into the signs of toxic friends, how attachment styles play a role in our friendships, and whether or not these kinds of relationships can be saved. You’ll learn practical strategies to spot the red flags, approach difficult conversations with kindness and clarity, and—if it comes to it—find the courage to end friendships that have run their course.

Here’s what we cover:

• [00:00] The Friendship Trap: Why difficult friendships are harder to leave than romantic ones.
• [03:57] Attachment Styles in Friendships: How your past impacts your present friendships.
• [11:40] Making Positive Changes: How to recognize toxic patterns and start healing.
• [17:34] Conflict or Goodbye? How to assess if this friendship can be saved.
• [28:21] Deciding to End a Friendship: When enough is enough, and how to let go with grace.

If you’ve ever wondered whether a friendship is worth fighting for or it’s time to walk away, this episode is for you.

Ready to dig deeper? Take my free self-esteem quiz to see how your self-worth might be impacting your relationships: How Healthy is Your Self-Esteem?

Also, I’d love for you to join me for this week’s YouTube Livestream on Thursday at 12 pm MT, where we’ll talk even more about navigating toxic friendships. Submit an anonymous question in advance right here: Dear Lisa. I’ll see you there!

— Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Does your therapist talk too much about themselves during YOUR sessions?

This is a common issue, and it can really get in the way of your work. They’re on your dime, and your time with them should be all about you—not an outlet for them. Frankly, knowing too much about your therapist can even be a barrier to positive outcomes.

The reality is, we therapists are human, and we have our own personal and professional growth trajectories. That’s why I’ve created a new side project: Love, Happiness, and Success for Therapists.

In one of my latest episodes, I had a big sister-style heart-to-heart with therapists about how to contain their own "stuff"—because if we don’t, it can splash onto our clients. And I wanted to share this episode with you so you could share it with them.

Here ya go: https://www.growingself.com/self-disclosure-in-therapy-how-much-is-too-much/

Use it as a way to start a courageous conversation with your therapist about what you need, what you want, and what’s working—or not working—in your relationship. Plus, you’ll be providing them with a resource that supports their growth. Win, win, win!

If you’re a therapist reading this, I have so much for you! Connect with me at growingself.com/therapists to access this episode and many more on how to flourish and thrive in this career we all love.

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Breakups are brutal. I know you're wondering, “How long will it take before I finally feel like myself again?” Trust me, you’re not alone. In this episode, we’re diving deep into the million-dollar question: How long does it really take to get over a breakup? And, even more importantly, what do you need to DO in order to move forward and not get stuck in the past?

 I'm joined by Kendra Allen, the amazing host of Breakup Bestie, and together we unpack the factors that impact your healing timeline. Spoiler alert: it’s different for everyone! But we’ve got insights, personal stories, and actionable advice to help you make sense of your own process and feel more empowered as you heal.

We’re covering everything from how long it takes to feel "okay" again, to why some relationships hurt more than others, and how to know if you’re truly moving on. Plus, Kendra shares her journey of transformation after addiction and abusive relationships, offering you hope that growth is possible—even when it feels like the pain of heartbreak will never end. Join us to learn about:

00:00 – The Hardest Question After a Breakup: How Long Will This Take? 05:40 – Kendra’s Story: From Addiction to Empowerment 12:19 – Why Some Breakups Take Longer to Heal Than Others 19:32 – The Emotional Rollercoaster: What Healing Really Looks Like 29:00 – Handling Triggers: Holidays, Anniversaries & More 37:15 – How to Know if You’re Truly Healing or Just Surviving 45:20 – Next Steps: Tools and Advice for Moving On

If you’re hurting after heartbreak, this one’s for you. Thanks for tuning in, and/or for sharing this episode with a friend or loved one who is feeling stuck in heartbreak, and needs some direction for how to move forward.

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

PS: Want to see how far along you are in your breakup recovery? Take my free quiz, How Over Your Ex Are You? 👉 Take the Quiz

Join me for a live Q&A this Thursday at 12 PM MT on YouTube, where we’ll tackle the topic of Getting Over Your Ex. Submit your questions anonymously in advance ( Ask Here)

Or just jump into the conversation on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. See you there! 

Friend, partner, or job said "thanks but no thanks"? Well, the joke's on them: If you know how to mine the gold in this opportunity it could wind up being the best thing that’s ever happened to YOU.

And... Rejection sucks. Whether it’s from a friend, a romantic partner, or a job you really wanted, it can leave you feeling bruised and wondering, “Is it just me?” Guess what? It’s not just you, and it’s not the end of the world (promise!). 🌟 In fact, rejection can be the key to unlocking your most resilient, powerful self. Yeah, I said it!

Join me as I break down the very real emotions behind rejection and share how you can use it as a springboard for serious personal growth. We’ll cover how rejection shows up in your personal, professional, and social life—and how to cope, heal, and come out stronger on the other side. Ready to transform those “no’s” into growth? Let’s do this! 🙌

00:00 - Rejection Feels Awful, But... Why rejection hits so hard and why it’s universal.

02:42 - Resilience & Growth: Your New Best Friends - Turning setbacks into setups for your future self. 

12:47 - Friendship Rejection: Why Does This Hurt So Much? Handling the emotional sting of being ghosted or left out by friends. 

20:28 - Heartbreak Hotel: Dealing with Romantic Rejection Why getting dumped can hurt on a primal level and how to come out of it stronger. 

43:42 - Career Flops: Professional Rejection and What to Do Next Didn’t get the job? Fired? Here’s how to bounce back like a boss. 💼

51:45 - Your Rejection Recovery Plan: Next Steps Actionable strategies to heal and grow from any kind of rejection.

🔥 Bonus: Want to chat about your own experiences with rejection? Jump into this week’s live stream where we’ll be swapping stories, getting advice, and supporting each other! 🗓️ Submit your questions in advance right here. Want to start doing the work we're discussing today? Book a free consultation for coaching at GrowingSelf.com.

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

#RejectionRecovery #EmotionalResilience #LoveHappinessSuccess #PersonalGrowth

Let’s get real for a minute—have you ever found yourself thinking, "I have no sex drive," and feeling completely stuck about what to do next? You’re not alone. So many people are struggling with this exact issue, and today, I’m diving deep into why that happens, how it affects your relationship, and most importantly—what you can do about it.

In this episode, I’m joined by Allison Gilbert, co-author with the iconic Dr. Ruth Westheimer on her last book "The Joy of Connections." We’ll explore how a lack of intimacy in your relationship can leave you feeling lost, but we’re also unpacking Dr. Ruth’s brilliant “menu for connection.” It’s full of ways to reignite your bond—not just in the bedroom, but through shared activities, better communication, and ultimately, deeper self-reflection.

We’ll tackle some tough love truths (like the role self-love plays in intimacy), and I’ll share actionable strategies to help you reconnect with your partner, starting today.

[00:00] – Where’s the Spark? Why so many people feel disconnected from their partners—and how it happens more often than you think.

[00:47] – Dr. Ruth’s Secret Sauce The first thing to check when your sex drive is gone—your relationship dynamics!

[02:09] – It’s Not Them, It’s You? The surprising role self-love plays in keeping intimacy alive.

[03:47] – The “Menu for Connection” Five elements Dr. Ruth swears by to build a richer, more meaningful connection with your partner.

[05:47] – Fun Outside the Bedroom How activities like pickleball (yes, pickleball!) could reignite the flames of passion.

[08:06] – What’s Really Going On? Digging deeper: how emotional barriers like resentment might be blocking your connection.

[12:41] – Therapy or Time to Move On? When it’s time to seek help—or even consider a bigger decision.

[15:41] – You Deserve Better Dr. Ruth’s empowering message: You deserve happiness, fun, and great sex—don’t settle for less.

[17:16] – Let’s Wrap This Up! Final thoughts and inspiration to help you take that first step toward a better, more intimate relationship.

Tune in, share your thoughts, and let’s create a life full of love, connection, and fun together!

Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

P.S. ⭐ Ready for more? ⭐ Download my free guide, "Communication that Connects," to start having meaningful conversations that build closeness in your relationship. And don’t forget to join me for this week’s live stream on Thursday at 12 PM MT—we’ll dive even deeper into intimacy and connection. Submit your anonymous questions ahead of time right here!

P. P.S: Who else in your life needs to hear this message today? Forward this episode to them and feel good about being a positive “change agent” in the lives of others. You and I are on the same mission my friend! Xo, L

Where did everyone go?? At some point, many/most adults look up one day to realize that all their old friends have either moved to Austin or are completely buried in #babylife or never-ending home improvement projects… and they have nobody to spontaneously get a beer with on a Tuesday night. Can you relate?

It's not just you. Did you know that, on average, most people lose more friends every year than they gain? Over time, your life can become increasingly lonely unless you’re actively working to build and maintain friendships. But here’s the thing: making new friends as an adult is harder than it sounds. 😅

In this episode of Love, Happiness, and Success, we dive deep into the complexities of adult friendships with journalist Kelly Stout, who spent a month trying to make just one new friend… and learned some important things that she’s sharing with YOU.  From the unexpected emotional hurdles to the surprising lessons about vulnerability and connection, we explore what it really takes to form meaningful relationships in adulthood. 💛

If you’ve ever struggled with loneliness, wondered why your social circle shrinks as the years go by, or just feel stuck when it comes to making new friends, this episode is for you. 🙌

Chapters 00:00 Can Happiness Really Be Found Through Friendships? 00:19 Why Your Friendships Are More Important Than You Think 00:58 Meet Kelly Stout: Her One-Month Quest to Make a New Friend 02:30 What Happens When You Set a Deadline to Make a Friend? 04:58 The Hidden Challenges of Building Friendships as an Adult 12:55 What Actually Defines a True Friendship? 15:40 Friendship Experiments: What Works and What Doesn’t 18:32 Why Opening Up to Others Feels So Scary—And Necessary 22:33 The Biggest Lessons We Learned About Friendship 25:01 When Friendships Feel Fleeting: Why It Happens 25:45 Vulnerability Hangover: Ever Felt It? Here’s Why It Happens 25:56 Turning Points: When You Realize You’re Doing Friendship All Wrong 26:33 Can You Fast-Track Emotional Intimacy? Let’s Find Out 27:18 Why We Gravitate Toward People Just Like Us—And What to Do About It 27:45 Discovering the Power of Friendships with People Who Are Different 28:19 The Comfort and Complexity of Long-Term Friendships 29:53 Bumble for Friends: Can You Really Make Friends on an App? 32:01 How Internalized Shame is Holding You Back from Friendship 34:03 The Reality of Keeping Friendships Alive as an Adult 43:57 Why We Crave Community—and How to Build One 47:01 Modern Loneliness: Why Life is Designed to Keep Us Isolated 53:44 Final Reflections: How to Create Real Friendships That Last

💡 Learn how to overcome the struggles of making friends as an adult and build a community that brings joy and connection back into your life.

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

PS: I think you and I should be friends! Come hang out with me on a Thursday live stream! Mark your calendar right now, it's at 12pm MT / 2pm ET on my Instagram, Youtube, and Facebook. This week we're talking about friendships. If you have a question or conundrum related to this, here's the link to ask in advance: https://www.growingself.com/dear-lisa. Be sure to subscribe/follow so you get updates and recaps!

P.P.S. As promised in this podcast, here's the link to grab your totally free and VAST collection of all my best articles and podcasts on the subject of healthy relationships. I made it for YOU. 

Could you be accidentally and unintentionally DESTROYING your relationship? Pro tip from a marriage counselor: Many, many people are... and literally have no idea. 

I think I know why. Everyone with an Instagram account is posting things about what they think you should do to have a great relationship—communication tips, romantic date ideas, etc.—but let’s be real... sometimes, it's more important to know what NOT to do! And nobody talks about that!! 

That’s why today, we’re flipping the script on the usual relationship advice you hear. 💥

In this episode, we’re breaking down the 12 Most Effective Ways to Destroy Your Relationship (so you can avoid them like the plague).

Trust me, as a marriage counselor, I’ve seen it all. Whether it’s neglecting your partner or constantly blaming your “issues” when you behave badly, even the strongest couples can unknowingly make these mistakes. But don’t worry, I’m not here to throw shade—I'm here to help you laugh, learn, and most importantly, grow! 🌱

By the end of this, you’ll not only recognize these pitfalls, but also walk away with actionable tips to make sure you’re NOT sabotaging your love life. 🙌

Here's what you'll learn: ⏱️

00:00 Intro: The 12 Biggest Relationship Mistakes

02:36 Mistake #12: Making the Relationship ALL About You

04:36 Mistake #11: Blaming Everything on Your Issues

08:26 Mistake #10: Neglecting Your Partner (The Silent Killer)

11:20 Mistake #9: Too Much Togetherness (Yikes!)

And all the way down... to the number one biggest relationship killer! 

💬 Let’s talk: Have you fallen into any of these traps? What’s one mistake you’re guilty of? Drop a comment on Instagram @drlisamariebobby —I’d love to hear from you!

AND if you want to get my perspective on some not-so-fantastic things that might be happening in your relationship (and how to make it stop) join me on Thursday for a live stream on this topic! Use this link to ask your Q and get reminders to join on Thursday at 12 pm MT / 2pm ET. https://www.growingself.com/dear-lisa

If you're feeling like, "uh oh" after hearing this... you're not alone! I’ve helped thousands of couples turn things around, and you can too. 🌟

Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

💡 PS: If you're ready to start working on some positive new communication tools after hearing about the not great ones, check out my FREE training, “Communication That Connects” — it’s packed with tools to help you strengthen your connection and communicate like a pro!