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Vanessa Van Edwards once lost a dream TV deal over small talk. After 20 years of research, she knows how to turn small talk into real connection.
On this episode, Kwame Christian sits down with Vanessa Van Edwards, behavioral researcher, founder of Science of People and bestselling author of Captivate and Cues, to unpack her new book, Conversation: How to Connect with Anyone & Make Every Interaction Count. A self-described "recovering awkward person," Vanessa shares the science-backed conversation skills that changed her life, from escaping conversation dead ends to asking the questions that build deeper relationships.
If you've ever run out of things to say, overthought what to say next, or left a networking event feeling like you never really connected, this episode is for you.
In this episode, you'll learn:
- Why questions like "What do you do?" lead to conversation dead ends, and how to escape them
- The 3 levels of conversation: putting people at ease, connecting deeply and creating meaning
- The memoir question that sparks deeper conversations with the people who matter
- How your self-story (redemption vs. contamination frames) shapes how you listen and talk
- Why naming social cues calms your nerves, plus the body language that signals confidence
- Why talking for more than 40 seconds can turn a conversation into a monologue
- How to disagree respectfully and handle difficult conversations, even with family
- How to turn nerves into "good nerves" before a negotiation or presentation
- Constructive vs. deconstructive language: how to be authentically assertive
- How AI, voice notes and podcasts are weakening our conversation muscles
Recorded in partnership with The Ohio State University Moritz College of Law. Students from the school's new podcast, [STUDENT PODCAST NAME], join the conversation with questions on code switching, speaking a second language, fear in negotiations, toxic positivity and more.
Connect with Vanessa
Get Conversation by Vanessa Van Edwards: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/conversation/
Vanessa's website: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/conversation/
Connect with Kwame:
Request A Customized Workshop For Your Company
Follow Kwame Christian on LinkedIn
negotiateanything.com
Click here to buy your copy of Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life!
@kwamenegotiates across all social platforms
#VanessaVanEdwards #SmallTalk #CommunicationSkills
Kwame Christian sits down with psychologist, marriage and family therapist, and founder of Growing Self Counseling & Coaching, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, and it quickly turns into two high achievers comparing notes on the hidden cost of always chasing the next win.
CONNECT WITH DR. LISA MARIE BOBBY
Request A Customized Workshop For Your Company
Follow Kwame Christian on LinkedIn
negotiateanything.com
Click here to buy your copy of Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life!
@kwamenegotiates across all social platforms
If you've been pushing hard but feeling empty, this episode will challenge everything you believe about high performance. DJ Vanas — Air Force veteran, member of the Ottawa Nation, and author of The Warrior Within (Penguin Random House) — brings centuries of tribal wisdom into a single, urgent message: you cannot be of service to anyone when you are falling apart.
DJ has spoken at Fuqua School of Business at Duke University and Yakima Tribal Jail in the same week. His work spans 574 federally recognized tribes, healthcare systems, military organizations, and Fortune-level business teams. He doesn't teach cutting-edge frameworks — he teaches ancient ones that have been proven under the worst conditions in human history.
Connect with DJ Vanas
nativediscovery.com
Buy the Book: The Warrior Within
Contact ANI
Request A Customized Workshop For Your Company
Follow Kwame Christian on LinkedIn
negotiateanything.com
Click here to buy your copy of Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life!
Nidhi explains why the biggest mistake leaders make is rushing from empathy into problem-solving, and why she never gives advice unless someone asks for it. She also asks a question worth sitting with: when we fix, share our own stories, or offer platitudes, whose comfort are we really prioritizing?
If you want to connect more deeply with the people in your life and at work, this one's for you.
Connect with Nidhi Tewari
www.nidhitewari.com
Connect with Kwame:
Request A Customized Workshop For Your Company
Follow Kwame Christian on LinkedIn
negotiateanything.com
Click here to buy your copy of Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life!
@kwamenegotiates across all social platforms
You already know resilience matters. But what if everything you think about it is incomplete?
In this episode, Kwame Christian sits down with Dr. Marie-Hélène Pelletier — psychologist, executive coach, and author of The Resilience Plan — to break down why resilience isn't just a trait you either have or don't, and it's not just a muscle you build through grit alone. It's a strategy. One you can actually sit down and plan.
Marie-Hélène opens with a harrowing story from an 8-day mountain traverse in the Canadian Rockies — a river crossing gone wrong that nearly swept her away — and uses it to unpack a truth most high performers miss: we're great on "day one," when we're fresh and energized. The real risk shows up on "day eight," when we're depleted, still making decisions like we're at full strength.
If you're someone chasing big goals and refusing to slow down, this episode will change how you think about what's sustainable — and give you a real framework to build on.
Connect with Marie-Hélène
theresilienceplan.com
LinkedIn: Marie-Hélène Pelletier, PhD, MBA
Connect with Kwame:
Request A Customized Workshop For Your Company
Follow Kwame Christian on LinkedIn
negotiateanything.com
Click here to buy your copy of Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life!
@kwamenegotiates across all social platforms
Fired at 43 with an 18-month non-compete, Heather Monahan had to rebuild her career from scratch — and it led her to her real purpose. In this episode, she and Kwame break down why confidence is a learnable skill, why "done" beats "perfect," and why firing the "energy vampires" in your life can change everything.
You'll learn:
Connect with Heather
www.heathermonahan.com
Heather Monahan's books
Connect with Kwame:
Request A Customized Workshop For Your Company
Follow Kwame Christian on LinkedIn
negotiateanything.com
Click here to buy your copy of Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life!
@kwamenegotiates across all social platforms
Learn how to take control, reclaim your freedom, and build a business that works without you.
Get Codie's new book: Own Or Be Owned
codiesanchez.com
You've been listening to the wrong voice in your head for years — and it's cost you more than you realize.
Shirzad Chamine spent the first 30 years of his life in clinical depression — despite building a venture-backed company, attracting Silicon Valley's top investors, and landing Hewlett-Packard as his first customer. Then, at the height of his success, his own leadership team staged a coup and demoted him as CEO of the company he founded.
That devastating moment forced him to ask a question most high achievers never stop to consider: if I'm this successful and this miserable, who am I really — and what's actually running my mind?
Connect with Shirzad
positiveintelligence.com/assessment
positiveintelligence.com
Connect with Kwame:
Request A Customized Workshop For Your Company
Follow Kwame Christian on LinkedIn
negotiateanything.com
Click here to buy your copy of Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life!
@kwamenegotiates across all social platforms
Great leaders don't avoid pressure — they know how to think clearly inside it. In this episode, Kwame Christian sits down with Dr. Tracey Marks, a board-certified psychiatrist and one of the most trusted mental health educators on YouTube (with over 2 million followers), to break down what's actually happening in a leader's brain during a high-stakes conversation — and how to stay in control of it.
Dr. Marks explains why our brains treat criticism, tension, or a tough deadline the same way they'd treat a physical threat, shutting down the prefrontal cortex — the part responsible for rational thinking — right when leaders need it most. She and Kwame walk through concrete tools for reclaiming that control in the moment, including the "micro-pause," affect labeling ("name it to tame it"), and how mirror neurons and emotional contagion can either escalate or defuse a tense exchange.
The conversation also covers the broader landscape leaders are navigating today: how to tell credible mental health information apart from social media sensationalism, what's really behind the ADHD self-diagnosis trend, and a candid, mixed-feelings take on AI chatbots as substitutes for real therapeutic support.
Connect with Tracey
Traceys Youtube Channel
Tracey's Website: markspsychiatry.com
Connect with Kwame:
Request A Customized Workshop For Your Company
Follow Kwame Christian on LinkedIn
negotiateanything.com
Click here to buy your copy of Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life!
@kwamenegotiates across all social platforms
Right now, someone is telling a chatbot about the guy she went on a third date with — and it's giving her a pretty good answer. That should worry you.
Stefanos Sifandos has spent 25 years coaching people through relationships face-to-face, in the room. In this episode, he explains why AI can make you feel self-aware without ever making you change — and why that satiation is quietly keeping people stuck.
We get into:
If you're in a relationship, thinking about leaving one, or trying to figure out why you keep repeating the same patterns — this conversation is for you.
Connect with Stefanos
stefanossifandos.com
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