In this episode, I'm deep-diving into why knowing your needs in a relationship is important, how I discovered mine and tips for discussing your relationship needs with a partner. Discovering my non-negotiables in a relationship is what kicked off my dating journey and I'm breaking down how you can use them to guide you in your dating journey. You'll learn what needs are, what they're not and what to expect when you bring them up with someone for the first time.

This episode originally aired in November 2022.

How To Identify Your Needs course: How To Identify Your Needs 1-hr Class

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Today's episode features three new dating dilemmas for you, focusing on issues daters face in new relationships. The first is from a woman who's not sure she can fall in love with her guy and isn't sure what to do. Our second dilemma focuses on the question: how much fighting is normal? And the last one is from a woman in a loving, secure relationship that she feels lacks excitement. Listen for my takes and advice, and comment below to share yours!

Book rec: Hold Me Tight

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If showing interest in the person you're dating is scary, this episode will help! Showing interest when you're interested is key in developing a secure, healthy relationship in the early dating stage - even when things feel uncertain. I'm breaking down the appropriate, not-desperate ways to show someone you're into them before you're committed so they know exactly where you stand. On the flipside, listen to learn ways people may be showing interest in YOU that you could be missing. At the end, I'm sharing results from a survey I took on what people really want for Valentine's Day.

36 love questions

Love bombing vs genuine interest

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In this episode, I sit down with sex educator Danielle Bezalel to explore common misconceptions about sex and why it’s time to rethink what counts as sex. We also dive into using sex toys on your own, plus how to bring them up in a relationship. And at the end, Danielle answers all the questions you might be too embarrassed to ask anywhere else about things like body odor, performance anxiety, being on top, and so much more. I hope you enjoy this educational and judgment-free convo! You can find all of Danielle's recommendations below.

Danielle's toy recs

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Have you ever dated someone where things are moving so slowly that it feels like you're going backward? This episode breaks down the differences between a slow burn and a dead end so you know when to keep going and when to walk away. I also share advice on when to cut things off if things are going well but they're not committing and how to communicate your intentions and timeline.

SLOW BURN WORKSHOP on 2/24

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Dating for validation episode

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I'm answering questions about my journey dating 64 people in 10 months! Questions like, how did you manage dating multiple people, how did you navigate sex while dating and how did you choose who to keep seeing and who to stop seeing? I also answer questions about staying safe while dating, what I wore on dates and how I found the time to date with a busy schedule. This episode is PACKED with advice!

Listen to Part 1 here!

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In this episode, I'm sharing 15 quick lessons I learned during my intense dating journey where I went out with 64 people in 10 months. I'm sharing my insight on texting in early dating, navigating when to have sex with someone for the first time, what's most important to pay attention to when getting to know someone and how to stay grounded. Part 2 comes out on Tuesday!

Episode 99: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3HYgtYjAaNjwQcng3H4w0E?si=68f37b5e6c4f49b0

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In this episode, Julie and Yue from Dateable are back for round 2! We get into their new book, How To Be Dateable, which is out now everywhere and so much more. Listen to learn about what vulnerability is and isn't, how to tell if you've been playing relationship chicken this whole time and tips for being more authentic on dates. We also talk about Julie's big news at the end (other than the book launch of course).

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My post on green flags men look for!

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About Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick

Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu are the co-hosts and creators of Dateable, which has been named one of the top podcasts about modern dating and relationships by the New York Times, The Huffington Post, Oprah Daily, and more. As active daters turned dating insiders, they’ve interviewed thousands of daters and world-renowned experts over the last decade to understand why we date the way we do. But more importantly, with this information, share how you can rise above modern dating culture, get out of this dating apocalypse, and DIY the love life you’ve always wanted. Subscribe to Dateable on all podcast platforms and visit dateablepodcast.com and @dateablepodcast as your go-to source for modern dating.

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How much do you really need in common with the person you're dating for it to work? In this episode, you'll learn what matters more than having shared interests and how to navigate relationships when your hobbies clash or don't really overlap. I also talk about how my relationship works with my husband, despite us not being into the same stuff!

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What do you do if you get anxious on dates? My guest, Jeff Guenther, LPC (@TherapyJeff), shares many practical tips for managing anxiety on dates and enjoying the process more! We talk about different ways anxiety shows up, specifically how to ask for feedback from your dates and how to cope when you feel anxious on dates. Jeff also shares his advice for folks in new relationships, including eight questions to ask once you've DTR'd (defined the relationship).

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Here's the episode of Problem Solved we mentioned toward the end

Questions to ask after defining the relationship

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About Jeff Guenther, LPC

Jeff earned a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from the University of Southern California and a bachelor’s degree in Child and Family Development from San Diego State University. His therapeutic career began at a crisis line, where he supported individuals experiencing suicidal thoughts and severe anxiety. Before establishing his private practice, Jeff also provided therapy to high-risk students in the public school system. Since 2005, he has called Portland, Oregon, home, focusing his practice on helping both couples and individuals.

In his spare time, Jeff creates engaging one-minute videos for TikTok and Instagram, along with more in-depth content on Passes. Follow him across platforms for relationship advice, tips, pep talks, and resources designed to enhance mental health.

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