This is the first episode of a new series called First Date Vibe Check, where I bring on listeners who are actively dating to walk through a recent first date with me - how they met, how the date got planned, what actually happened, and how they felt afterward.

First up is Savannah, a 30-year-old middle school teacher in California who's had a wild six months, including discovering the boyfriend she'd been dating for three months had a wife. We're discussing everything from why speed dating rebuilt her dating confidence to sending the first message when nobody reaches out to the exact moment a good first date starts to get awkward. Savannah also shares the shift that took the pressure off her first dates: you don't need to feel romantic feelings on date one; you just need to feel safe and curious.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Want to break down a first date with me on the pod? Apply here.

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MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY

Submit a dating dilemma

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Reveal your dating blindspot (quiz)

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When you’re always the one texting first, planning the dates, and keeping a connection moving forward, it’s easy to start wondering: do they actually like me, or am I doing all the work?

In this episode, I’m breaking down the truth about effort in dating: why some people initiate more than others, what someone’s effort actually tells you about their interest, and how to stop spiraling when someone goes quiet.

Tune in for...

• What effort and initiation actually look like in dating (and why they matter)
• The real reasons someone might not initiate, and why the reason doesn’t change what you do next
• The one question to ask yourself when dating feels one-sided: do you want clarity, connection, or desire?
• The “I can’t tell” text and exactly when to send it
• Why “if they wanted to, they would” is complicated dating advice
• The difference between having standards, setting boundaries, and trying to control someone’s behavior
• Why initiation chicken and wanting to be chased can keep you stuck
• How multi-dating helped me stop investing in people who weren’t showing up
• How to tell the difference between a normal imbalance in effort and a connection that isn’t reciprocal

Whether you’re carrying a connection for a few weeks, wondering why you’re always the one making plans, or staring at your phone trying to figure out what their silence means, this episode will help you stop decoding their behavior and start paying attention to what their effort is showing you.

At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma from a man who reconnected with someone he dated 18 years ago and has spent two months texting without ever meeting up.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Book a 1:1 with me

Close The Loop text templates

Free texting guide

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS

💗 Bellesa: EVERYONE gets a free Rose suction toy with EVERY single order! bboutique.co/vibe/datingintentionally-pod

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MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY

Submit a dating dilemma

Slide into my DMs on IG

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Get the Date Tracker app!

Reveal your dating blindspot (quiz)

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Do you tend to go all in when you like someone, to the point where you've lost touch with your own life a bit? I'm chatting with Chris Rackliffe, an anxious attachment coach and author of Needy No More: The Journey from Anxious to Secure Attachment, who's helped thousands of people heal from patterns of trauma, abandonment, and codependency. We're getting into why we lose ourselves in dating and what to do about it.

We cover:

• The earliest signs you're starting to abandon yourself when you meet someone new
• Why resentment is the clearest signal a compromise has tipped into self-betrayal
• Chris's framework for codependency
• Why guilt is proportional to how long you've been overriding your own needs
• His concept of emotional diversification, and why spreading out your sources of connection is a protective strategy, not just something nice to have
• How to apply this whether you're in early dating or an established relationship
• Whether opposite sleep schedules are actually a dealbreaker

At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about whether opposite sleep schedules are a dealbreaker.

CONNECT WITH CHRIS

Find Chris on Instagram and TikTok

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Dating Guides: 90 questions, FAQ, text templates & more

MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY

Submit a dating dilemma

Slide into my DMs on IG

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Join the Date Tracker app waitlist

Reveal your dating blindspot (quiz)

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Rejection doesn't have to destroy your confidence or convince you that you'll never find your person. In this episode, I'm sharing how to bounce back faster after getting rejected, ghosted, or hearing "there wasn't a spark." We'll talk about why rejection feels so personal, how to stop the anxiety spirals before they take over, and the mindset shifts that will help you keep your self-worth intact while continuing to date intentionally.

Tune in for...

• Why rejection feels so much bigger than it actually is
• How to stop telling yourself hopeless stories after a "no"
• The 24-hour rule for bouncing back faster
• Practical ways to stop anxiety spirals after rejection
• What to say when someone rejects you (and what not to say)
• Why rejection isn't a reflection of your worth
• The questions to ask yourself instead of "What's wrong with me?"
• My own experiences navigating rejection while dating

Whether you've been ghosted before a first date or rejected after a few months of dating, this episode will help you move forward with more confidence and resilience.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• Dating Roadblock Quiz
• Episode 281 (Kelsey Darragh) on healing after heartbreak
• Episode 221 (Cole Zesinger) on moving on after a breakup
• My "closing the loop" text templates

Instead of asking "what's wrong with me," get curious and reflect on these questions:

• Am I consistently pursuing people who aren't available or aren't looking for the same thing?
• Am I showing up as myself, or am I trying to earn someone's approval?
• Am I choosing people based on mutual interest, or am I getting attached to potential before they've shown consistent effort?
• Am I overlooking signs that someone isn't able to meet me where I am?
• Am I being curious, showing interest, and being direct, or am I playing games to get their attention?
• Am I owning who I am, or leading with my insecurities?

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS

EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE toy or gift card! bbvibes.com/DatingIntentionally

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Dating Guides: 90 questions, FAQ, text templates & more

CONNECT WITH ME

Submit a dating dilemma

Slide into my DMs on IG

Watch the pod on YouTube

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Is someone being "out of your league" even a real thing? In this episode, I'm chatting with relationship scientist and author Paul Eastwick (Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection) to unpack the science of mate value, why matchmaking based on shared traits almost never works, and what actually predicts compatibility (it's not the traits on your list).

From decoding your own dating patterns to knowing when attraction is genuinely going to grow, this conversation is packed with practical, research-backed advice for anyone who feels stuck comparing partners against a checklist.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why what you say you want in a partner doesn't predict who you actually choose
• The truth about mate value and dating "out of your league"
• Why matchmaking based on shared traits and interests rarely works
• What actually predicts long-term compatibility (hint: it's not a trait)
• Why attraction often grows slowly instead of hitting all at once
• Whether a strict list of dealbreakers helps or hurts you

At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about a situationship where trust was broken, and whether it's worth trying to repair it.

CONNECT WITH PAUL

Love Factually podcast

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Slide into my DMs on IG

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Dating today can be a mess, and so much of that mess stems from confusion, uncertainty, and ambiguity showing up in ways that just infuriate us. In this episode, I'm answering four listener dating dilemmas that each capture a different flavor of that chaos, from the planning-phase ghost to the partner whose humor crosses a line to the slow fade that sends you spiraling over someone you barely know. These aren't rare, one-off situations either. I hear versions of these same four patterns constantly, which is exactly why I wanted to break them down together. I'm covering:

• What to do when a guy keeps initiating dates that never actually happen
• Why a plan without a set time, date, and location usually isn't a real plan at all
• How to know if you're being "managerial" by helping plan a date, or just being reasonable
• How to handle a new boyfriend whose "jokes" cross a real line
• What it means when a partner says the only way to be with you is to suppress part of himself
• Whether to say something when a casual connection's slow responses start to bother you
• How much effort is reasonable to expect when you're not looking for anything serious
• How to hold onto your sense of self when someone goes quiet after a great phone call
• How to tell the difference between an old trigger and an actual red flag in the moment

For each one, I give you the exact tweak I'd make if I were in your shoes, along with the bigger pattern underneath so you can spot it before it drains you again. My hope is that you walk away from this episode more decisive, less likely to spiral, and a little more convinced that most of this isn't actually about you.

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS

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Dating Guides: 90 questions, FAQ, text templates & more

CONNECT WITH ME

Submit a dating dilemma

Slide into my DMs on IG

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How do you actually get over a breakup, and why does it feel so impossible? In this episode, I'm chatting with author and mental health advocate Kelsey Darragh to unpack the science of heartbreak, why no-contact is so difficult, and what actually helps you move forward after a breakup (It's not the closure moment you think it is).

From healing after a long-term relationship to knowing when you're ready to date again, this conversation is packed with practical advice for anyone struggling to let go of an ex or rebuild trust in love.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why the story you tell yourself about your breakup matters
• The psychology behind no-contact (and how to stick with it)
• The truth about where closure comes from
• How to know when you're ready to date again
• Heartbreak vs. mental health: when to seek extra support
• Whether you should tell a new partner about mistakes you've made in past relationships

At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about whether you need to disclose past cheating before entering a new relationship.

CONNECT WITH KELSEY

On Instagram

Get her new book, Don't Do What I Did

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Dating Guides: 90 questions, FAQ, text templates & more

CONNECT WITH ME

Submit a dating dilemma

Slide into my DMs on IG

Watch the pod on YouTube

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Not sure who's worthy of a first date? In this episode, I'm sharing my exact process for deciding who gets a first date, including the one screening step I wish I'd done more of before meeting people in person.

• The 3 questions to ask yourself before meeting someone
• What's actually worth paying attention to on a profile (and what to ignore)
• Why over-vetting someone like a job interview backfires
• How texting for too long creates a false sense of intimacy
• Why a quick phone or video screening call beats weeks of DMs
• How vetting works differently when you meet someone offline vs. on the apps

At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma from a woman whose boyfriend of three months lied about his age.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

How to nail a first date from start to finish

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS

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Dating Guides: 90 questions, FAQ, text templates & more

CONNECT WITH ME

Submit a dating dilemma

Slide into my DMs on IG

Watch the pod on YouTube

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It's finale week, which means we're wrapping up this season of Love Island Lessons with five final dating takeaways from Love Island USA Season 8. In this episode, I'm breaking down why exclusivity has a place in modern dating (and why it's not the same as being in a situationship), how to recognize breadcrumbing before you get emotionally invested, and why waiting for someone to change is one of the biggest traps you can fall into. I also share my thoughts on what the compatibility challenge got wrong and why meeting the family is such a meaningful milestone in a relationship. Plus, we recap the finale couples, the winners, and the biggest dating lessons from the villa.

MENTIONED IN THIS EP

Tips for meeting the parents (and other relationship firsts)

How to tell if you're compatible before you catch feelings

CONNECT WITH ME:

⁠Slide into my DMs on IG @dating.intentionally

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In this episode, I sit down with Hinge's Love & Connection Expert, licensed marriage and family therapist Moe Ari Brown, to unpack what Hinge's latest LGBTQIA+ D.A.T.E. Report reveals about modern dating. We dive into why so many first dates feel like they're going nowhere, the surprising "question deficit" that's making it harder to build connection, and why clarity is becoming one of the most attractive qualities in dating today.

You'll learn...

• Why so many people aren't asking enough questions on dates and how it's impacting attraction.
• The best first date habits that actually lead to stronger connections.
• What Hinge's latest dating research reveals about how dating is changing in 2026.
• Why uncertainty is making people more intentional about what they want in a partner.
• The difference between saying you're emotionally available and actually showing it.
• How to communicate your intentions without killing the vibe.
• Why consistency matters more than grand romantic gestures.
• The case for embracing a slow burn
• How to build attraction through curiosity, clarity, and genuine connection.
• A listener dating dilemma: What do you do when you have a crush on your non-binary friend and can't tell if the feelings are mutual?

Whether you've been frustrated by awkward first dates, mixed signals, or conversations that never seem to go anywhere, this episode will give you practical insights—and a fresh perspective on what actually helps relationships get off the ground.

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS

EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE toy or gift card! bbvibes.com/DatingIntentionally

FREE STUFF

Dating Guides: 90 questions, FAQ, text templates & more

CONNECT WITH ME

Submit a dating dilemma

Slide into my DMs on IG

Watch the pod on YouTube

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.