You don’t have to love dating apps to make them work, but you do need a grounded strategy so you don't lose your mind!

My Substack on how I made a decision about kids after being on the fence for years

The Dear Sugar article that helped me with my kids/no kids decision

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She called off her wedding, then married the same man.

In this episode, I talk with Dr. Molly Burrets, a clinical psychologist and couples therapist, about what it really looks like to date while healing. We unpack how to know when you’re ready after a breakup, why you don’t have to be fully “healed” to find love, and how new relationships can actually support your growth.

From there, we dive into anxious attachment, how “butterflies” can be anxiety in disguise, and why healthy relationships sometimes feel “boring” compared to the chaos we’re used to. Plus, we talk about comparison to exes, scanning for red flags, and what it means to show up with more trust and self-awareness in love.

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Look out for Dr. Molly's podcast, Kissing Frogs coming soon!

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Are they bad at communicating, or just not that into you? Let’s unpack texting habits, mixed signals, and what’s really going on.

If you’ve ever found yourself analyzing every message or wondering if a mismatch in communication means they’re not interested, this one’s for you. I’m breaking down the gray area between different communication styles, real incompatibility, and a genuine lack of effort. Plus, a Dating Dilemma from a listener who keeps getting to the third date, but never past it.

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Episodes mentioned: 170 - what to do when you feel "the shift."

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The one-year mark in a relationship is a major milestone! It comes with new challenges, changes, and conversations.

In this final episode of Comparing Notes, Ali Jackson from Finding Mr. Height and I reflect on what the first year of a healthy relationship really looks like. We discuss moving in together, navigating family and career transitions, maintaining intimacy, and having the “what’s next” conversation. Plus, we answer listener questions about when to talk about marriage, how to handle a routine sex life, and what to do if you’re still unsure about the future.

Comparing Notes Pt 1 - all about the first 3 months of a relationship!

Comparing Notes Pt. 2 - covering the ins and outs of being in a relationship for 6 months

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In this episode, you'll learn how to know when to walk away in early dating vs. long-term relationships and why it's so difficult. You’ll get a simple mindset shift that makes the breakup decision stick, plus exact scripts to end it by text, phone, or in person without reopening negotiations. I also map your next steps to take care of yourself and avoid making mistakes after it's over. We close with a listener dilemma about four great dates that ended with “something’s missing," and what to do when that happens.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

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I’m celebrating three years of the podcast and 3 million downloads by sharing the 10 biggest lessons I’ve learned from 200 episodes!!! THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE 💛

When I started this show in my kitchen in Seattle, I never imagined I’d be talking to hundreds of thousands of daters all over the world. Today, I’m reflecting on the advice that comes up again and again, from “you can date however you want” to “stop chasing the spark," and sharing the mindset shifts that will help you enjoy dating, stay grounded, and actually find the relationship you want. Whether you’re just getting started or feeling stuck in your love life, this episode will help you recenter on what matters and remind you that you’re not behind, you’re not broken, and dating really can be fun.

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In this episode, I sit down with Shaun Galanos (@thelovedrive) to discuss what it truly means to bring playfulness and honesty to dating. We dive into why dating actually gets better as you get older and how to embrace the messy parts of love without losing your sense of humor. Shaun shares the advice he gives his clients (that he still needs to hear himself), and we tackle some of your trickiest sex-related questions, including the ones that stump me. Plus, we wrap up with Shaun’s rapid-fire first date hot takes that will change how you think about getting to know someone new.

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In this episode, I’m answering four of your real-life dating dilemmas! We’re talking about what to do when someone says they need to “find themselves” before committing, how to build emotional connection early on without scaring them off, and whether a partner’s pre-trip freak-out is a sign to walk away or just a moment of vulnerability. Plus, we tackle the dreaded slow fade (and what to do).

Stick around until the end for a personal update on my first year of marriage!! I'm sharing what surprised me, what challenged us, and what I wish I had known before saying “I do.”

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In this episode, I’m sharing all my tips for dating outside your type! You’re going to hear what it means to have a “type”, success stories from other listeners about how they dated outside their type, why dating outside your type can work, and what I personally looked for on dating apps when using this approach. (It led me to meeting my husband, just saying!) You’ll also hear why this approach is not the same as settling. At the end, I answer a fresh dating dilemma from a woman who's not sure if a friendship could become something romantic.

This episode originally aired in April 2024.

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In this episode, I talk about one of the most frustrating parts of modern dating: mixed signals. I break down why people send mixed signals, why they can feel so addicting (even when we know better), and how to spot them early so you don’t waste your time. You’ll hear real listener examples of hot-and-cold behavior, learn the difference between mixed signals and a slow burn, and get practical strategies for deciding when to walk away. We’ll also cover what clear, green-flag signals actually look like so you can focus on what you do want. This week’s dating dilemma is from a listener who feels like a late bloomer and worries that their lack of dating experience is holding them back from finding a meaningful relationship.

Listen to my episode on green flags in early dating!

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