Relationships Made Easy

When you’re in the middle of a power struggle, whatever you’re fighting about feels incredibly important. You can start out disagreeing with your partner about the thermostat, and twenty minutes later you’re wondering if you should get divorced. You and your brother can start out discussing who’s taking Mom to her doctor’s appointment this week and somehow end up threatening never to speak to each other again. How the hell did we get here? Somewhere along the way, you stopped fighting about the “thing” and started fighting about something much bigger: who gets a say, who gets to decide, and who has to give in.

Today I’m going to show you how to recognize when that shift happens, the three main ways power struggles show up, why you can get into them with everyone in your life, and five things you can do to stop them.

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✨ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/power-struggles-in-relationships

✨ Free Download: Are You in A Power Struggle? The 5-minute pattern check: https://abbymedcalf.com/power-struggle

✨ Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com

✨ Get my new book now available on Amazon, Stop Reacting, Start Connecting: No Couples Therapy Required: https://abbymedcalf.com/stop-reacting-book

✨ Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

👉 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

A couple years ago I was at Baskin-Robbins with my Gen Z kids, and when my milkshake came out so thick it was basically still ice cream, I asked the young woman behind the counter to thin it out. I asked nicely; there was nobody waiting in line, and I even tipped her extra, but my kids were horrified that I'd asked, and they looked at me like I'd just flipped over a table and screamed at her. I was shocked, and my first thought was, talk about conflict avoidance on steroids, but this shouldn't even be called conflict avoidance, because there was no conflict here.

What my kids had was a low tolerance for discomfort, directness, and disapproval, so low that it made ordinary communication feel like a fight. And this isn't just a Gen Z thing, because I see the same low tolerance for basic communication in 50-year-olds too. So today we're going to talk about why direct communication feels so hard, how to tell what's really a conflict and what's just plain old communication, and my five steps to raise your tolerance so you can stop reacting and start connecting.

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✨ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/conflict-avoidance-communication-not-conflict

✨ Get your free download of Collaborative Questions, so you have a place to start with these conversations: https://abbymedcalf.com/collab-questions

✨ Get my new book now available on Amazon, Stop Reacting, Start Connecting: No Couples Therapy Required: https://abbymedcalf.com/stop-reacting-book

✨ Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com

✨ Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

👉 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

If you’ve ever been disappointed or frustrated in a relationship, your expectations were too high. Think about it. Disappointment is what happens when you expect one thing and get another. Your own expectations don’t seem unrealistic to you, even though they often are, because you’re usually not aware you even have them. Most of them started out as preferences, you know, the way you like things done. But then, somewhere along the way, they turned into “shoulds” that are just facts everyone is supposed to follow. 

Today you’ll learn why you don’t realize you’re setting expectations for other people, what happens when a preference turns into a “should,” and three steps to turn your expectations back into preferences you can ask for, let go of, or get met somewhere else.

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✨  Full blog: https://abbymedcalf.com/unrealistic-expectations-in-relationships

✨  Free Download: Take the Find Your Stealth Expectations Assessment - https://abbymedcalf.com/stealth-expectations-assessment

✨ Get my new book now available on Amazon, Stop Reacting, Start Connecting: No Couples Therapy Required: https://abbymedcalf.com/stop-reacting-book

✨ Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com

✨ Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

👉 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/  

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

It seems like triggers are everywhere these days. Last week at my local coffee shop, I heard someone say they were triggered because they were out of the kind of tea they liked to drink. Maybe someone in your life says “I’m triggered” in the middle of an argument, and you have to stop the conversation even though you think they’re using it as a weapon. Or maybe you feel what you consider to be a true trigger when someone confronts you and your mind goes blank, and you feel numb. When is trigger the right word for what happened? Today you’re getting the real definition of a trigger, what to do if a real trigger comes up in conversation, and how to (finally) resolve communication issues when someone says they’re triggered.

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Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/triggered-or-uncomfortable

Get the download - Real Trigger or Discomfort? A Quick Quiz to Find Out What’s Actually Happening: https://abbymedcalf.com/trigger-quiz

✨ Get my new book now available on Amazon, Stop Reacting, Start Connecting: No Couples Therapy Required: https://abbymedcalf.com/stop-reacting-book

✨ Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com

✨ Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

👉 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

You've been waiting for someone else to change first - your partner, your mother, your business partner, whoever it is - because you think the relationship can't change until they do something different. Today you're going to learn why that wait was never necessary. One person, on their own, is enough to change the whole relationship.

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Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/one-person-change-relationship-reactive-loop

Get the assessment: What’s Triggering You? A quick assessment to find your biggest trigger: https://abbymedcalf.com/whats-triggering-you

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 👉 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

You finally get the good thing: the relationship that's steady, the promotion, the friendship that's truly reciprocal, and right when it's working, you pick a fight, or pull back, or suddenly find something wrong that wasn't there last week. There are two very specific reasons you self-sabotage when things are finally going well, and today you'll learn both, plus effective tools so you can stop self-sabotaging and start enjoying your life.

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Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-self-sabotage-when-things-are-good

Take the assessment: Are You Self-Handicapping or Self-Verifying? A 2-Minute Check-In if You’re Self-Sabotaging When Things are Good: https://abbymedcalf.com/self-sabotage

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

👉 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

You’re stuck in an argument. Maybe it’s the same fight you have every few weeks. Maybe it’s a standoff where nobody budges. Maybe someone goes quiet and passive-aggressive instead of saying what’s wrong. All three have the same root cause. You’re arguing the facts, and no one’s talking about what’s happening underneath the words. Whatever’s happening emotionally is what’s keeping the conversation stuck. You’re arguing the facts, hoping that’ll help, but it doesn’t because you’re focusing on the wrong thing. We connect through feelings, not thoughts, and until someone names the feelings, the facts just keep circling. Today I’m giving you my two-step process to shift this dynamic, so you can start connecting instead of going around in circles.

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Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/conversations-going-in-circles-same-fight

Get The Circle-Breaker Script Sheet: What to Say When a Conversation Won’t Move Forward: https://abbymedcalf.com/circle-breaker-script 

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

👉 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/  

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

You’re stuck in an argument. Maybe it’s the same fight you have every few weeks. Maybe it’s a standoff where nobody budges. Maybe someone goes quiet and passive-aggressive instead of saying what’s wrong. All three have the same root cause. You’re arguing the facts, and no one’s talking about what’s happening underneath the words. Whatever’s happening emotionally is what’s keeping the conversation stuck. You’re arguing the facts, hoping that’ll help, but it doesn’t because you’re focusing on the wrong thing. We connect through feelings, not thoughts, and until someone names the feelings, the facts just keep circling. Today I’m giving you my two-step process to shift this dynamic, so you can start connecting instead of going around in circles.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/conversations-going-in-circles-same-fight

Get The Circle-Breaker Script Sheet: What to Say When a Conversation Won’t Move Forward: https://abbymedcalf.com/circle-breaker-script 

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

Your inner critic isn't really your voice. Research says that voice almost always started out as someone else's, usually a parent or caregiver from way back. The problem is you've been repeating it in your own head for so long you forgot it was someone else's way of thinking and not your own. It's time to choose what you say to yourself, so today I'm going to help you figure out who you are underneath that voice and my two-step process for getting it to stop running the show.

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Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/whose-voice-is-your-inner-critic

Get a 2-Step Tool for Quieting Your Inner Critic: https://abbymedcalf.com/quieting-inner-critic 

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week!  https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

You’re supposed to be sleeping, but what you’re doing is lying there in the dark thinking about all the things. Why did I say that stupid thing in the meeting today? Is that chicken still good or does it have to get cooked tomorrow? Did the permission slip get signed for the field trip? And crap, I forgot to call mom back!

That’s the mental load, and it’s why you’re so tired. This isn’t about better sleep or having more downtime. It’s about the things you don’t realize you’re carrying. Today you’re going to learn what mental load really is, why it doesn’t get one bit lighter when somebody offers to help, and five things you can do about it.

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Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/what-is-the-mental-load

Free Download: Get the Mental Load Inventory: https://abbymedcalf.com/mental-load-inventory

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube