Relationships Made Easy

It seems like triggers are everywhere these days. Last week at my local coffee shop, I heard someone say they were triggered because they were out of the kind of tea they liked to drink. Maybe someone in your life says “I’m triggered” in the middle of an argument, and you have to stop the conversation even though you think they’re using it as a weapon. Or maybe you feel what you consider to be a true trigger when someone confronts you and your mind goes blank, and you feel numb. When is trigger the right word for what happened? Today you’re getting the real definition of a trigger, what to do if a real trigger comes up in conversation, and how to (finally) resolve communication issues when someone says they’re triggered.

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Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/triggered-or-uncomfortable

Get the download - Real Trigger or Discomfort? A Quick Quiz to Find Out What’s Actually Happening: https://abbymedcalf.com/trigger-quiz

✨ Get my new book now available on Amazon, Stop Reacting, Start Connecting: No Couples Therapy Required: https://abbymedcalf.com/stop-reacting-book

✨ Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com

✨ Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

👉 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

You've been waiting for someone else to change first - your partner, your mother, your business partner, whoever it is - because you think the relationship can't change until they do something different. Today you're going to learn why that wait was never necessary. One person, on their own, is enough to change the whole relationship.

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Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/one-person-change-relationship-reactive-loop

Get the assessment: What’s Triggering You? A quick assessment to find your biggest trigger: https://abbymedcalf.com/whats-triggering-you

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 👉 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

You finally get the good thing: the relationship that's steady, the promotion, the friendship that's truly reciprocal, and right when it's working, you pick a fight, or pull back, or suddenly find something wrong that wasn't there last week. There are two very specific reasons you self-sabotage when things are finally going well, and today you'll learn both, plus effective tools so you can stop self-sabotaging and start enjoying your life.

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Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-self-sabotage-when-things-are-good

Take the assessment: Are You Self-Handicapping or Self-Verifying? A 2-Minute Check-In if You’re Self-Sabotaging When Things are Good: https://abbymedcalf.com/self-sabotage

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

👉 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

You’re stuck in an argument. Maybe it’s the same fight you have every few weeks. Maybe it’s a standoff where nobody budges. Maybe someone goes quiet and passive-aggressive instead of saying what’s wrong. All three have the same root cause. You’re arguing the facts, and no one’s talking about what’s happening underneath the words. Whatever’s happening emotionally is what’s keeping the conversation stuck. You’re arguing the facts, hoping that’ll help, but it doesn’t because you’re focusing on the wrong thing. We connect through feelings, not thoughts, and until someone names the feelings, the facts just keep circling. Today I’m giving you my two-step process to shift this dynamic, so you can start connecting instead of going around in circles.

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Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/conversations-going-in-circles-same-fight

Get The Circle-Breaker Script Sheet: What to Say When a Conversation Won’t Move Forward: https://abbymedcalf.com/circle-breaker-script 

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

👉 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/  

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

You’re stuck in an argument. Maybe it’s the same fight you have every few weeks. Maybe it’s a standoff where nobody budges. Maybe someone goes quiet and passive-aggressive instead of saying what’s wrong. All three have the same root cause. You’re arguing the facts, and no one’s talking about what’s happening underneath the words. Whatever’s happening emotionally is what’s keeping the conversation stuck. You’re arguing the facts, hoping that’ll help, but it doesn’t because you’re focusing on the wrong thing. We connect through feelings, not thoughts, and until someone names the feelings, the facts just keep circling. Today I’m giving you my two-step process to shift this dynamic, so you can start connecting instead of going around in circles.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/conversations-going-in-circles-same-fight

Get The Circle-Breaker Script Sheet: What to Say When a Conversation Won’t Move Forward: https://abbymedcalf.com/circle-breaker-script 

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

Your inner critic isn't really your voice. Research says that voice almost always started out as someone else's, usually a parent or caregiver from way back. The problem is you've been repeating it in your own head for so long you forgot it was someone else's way of thinking and not your own. It's time to choose what you say to yourself, so today I'm going to help you figure out who you are underneath that voice and my two-step process for getting it to stop running the show.

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Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/whose-voice-is-your-inner-critic

Get a 2-Step Tool for Quieting Your Inner Critic: https://abbymedcalf.com/quieting-inner-critic 

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week!  https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

You’re supposed to be sleeping, but what you’re doing is lying there in the dark thinking about all the things. Why did I say that stupid thing in the meeting today? Is that chicken still good or does it have to get cooked tomorrow? Did the permission slip get signed for the field trip? And crap, I forgot to call mom back!

That’s the mental load, and it’s why you’re so tired. This isn’t about better sleep or having more downtime. It’s about the things you don’t realize you’re carrying. Today you’re going to learn what mental load really is, why it doesn’t get one bit lighter when somebody offers to help, and five things you can do about it.

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Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/what-is-the-mental-load

Free Download: Get the Mental Load Inventory: https://abbymedcalf.com/mental-load-inventory

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

Which family role were you given? Dr. Abby Medcalf on the hero, scapegoat, lost child and mascot, what the research shows, and how to stop playing yours.

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Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/family-roles-hero-scapegoat-lost-child-mascot

Which Role Are You Still Playing? Take the Quiz! https://abbymedcalf.com/which-role-are-you-still-playing

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

You were perfectly nice to the guy at the coffee counter this morning, and you were patient with the coworker who asked you the same question for the third time, and then you walked through your own front door and said something to the person you love most that you would never in a million years have said to either of those strangers. So, if you’ve ever thought, why am I so mean to the people I love, today’s episode is for you.

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Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-am-i-mean-to-the-people-i-love

Grab the free download for this What Would You Have Said to a Stranger: https://abbymedcalf.com/stranger

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

You've taken the quiz and you've read the books, so you know your attachment style. But last night your partner said, "We need to talk," and your whole body went off like a car alarm. That anxiety or panic is an insecure attachment style doing its thing. So, the real question is: can you actually change it? And the real answer is yes, you can. It's called earned secure attachment; it's real, and researchers have been studying it for decades.

Today you'll learn what earned secure attachment really is, the three things earned secure attachment is not, and the five tools to start building it this week.

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Full blog and show note: https://abbymedcalf.com/earned-secure-attachment

Grab Your Repair Speed Baseline: How long does it take you to come back: https://abbymedcalf.com/repair-speed-baseline

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube