The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno

By Julie Menanno

Welcome to The Secure Love Podcast: Real-Time Couples Therapy with Julie Menanno.

Julie Menanno is a licensed therapist committed to helping couples build secure, lasting connections through Emotional... more

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How many episodes does The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno have?

The podcast currently has 65 episodes available.

Best of The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno

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Number 1: S3 | Session 18: Slowing Down the TEMPO to Co-Regulation (Season Finale)
Today is our season three finale . It has been an absolute privilege watching Rachel and Mike untangle their negative cycles, and they open today's session with the ultimate proof that the work is paying off . When a major trigger hit just two nights ago, the script flipped entirely . Instead of his typical silent shutdown and her sharp tongue, Mike paused and shared the vulnerable feelings he was processing, allowing Rachel to meet him with compassion instead of anger . By slowing down, they turned what would have historically been a catastrophic fight into an opportunity to bond . In this finale, we walk through the TEMPO framework (Trigger, Emotion, Meaning, Protection, Organization) that helped them get here . Mike also opens up about the paralyzing "doom and gloom" fear he carries when they go into a state of disconnection . Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship. Not sure what your attachment style is? Take the free quiz, three minutes, and you'll get your style plus what to do about it. https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/attachment-style-quiz?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=secure_love_podcast&utm_content=back-catalog More from Julie: * Secure Love, the national bestseller https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/secure-love-relationship-book?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=secure_love_podcast&utm_content=back-catalog * The Secure Love Club, 100+ hours of recorded sessions, plus live group meetings with Julie https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/the-secure-love-club?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=secure_love_podcast&utm_content=back-catalog * Work with a coach, schedule a 15-minute call to see if we're a fit https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/relationship-coaching?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=secure_love_podcast&utm_content=back-catalog
June 30, 20261h 17min
Number 2: S3 | Session 6: When the Fixer Finally Puts Down His Tools
We pick right back up in the middle of our session with Rachel and Mike. After Rachel courageously bared her soul, the energy in the room is incredibly heavy. Now, we turn our focus to Mike. When you look at an Avoidant partner in moments of high emotional stress, the assumption is often that they come across as cold, detached, or simply don't care. But the reality is entirely different. Today, you are going to feel the suffocating wave of failure that crashes over Mike. We take a magnifying glass to his internal world and see how his tendency to justify, reason, and over-explain isn't him trying to be dismissive. It is actually his desperate, panicked attempt to regulate his own immense shame and manage the paralyzing physical tension of failing his wife. Witness what happens when the "fixer" finally puts down his tools, stops explaining the situation, and instead explains himself. Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship. Not sure what your attachment style is? Take the free quiz, three minutes, and you'll get your style plus what to do about it. https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/attachment-style-quiz?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=secure_love_podcast&utm_content=back-catalog More from Julie: * Secure Love, the national bestseller https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/secure-love-relationship-book?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=secure_love_podcast&utm_content=back-catalog * The Secure Love Club, 100+ hours of recorded sessions, plus live group meetings with Julie https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/the-secure-love-club?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=secure_love_podcast&utm_content=back-catalog * Work with a coach, schedule a 15-minute call to see if we're a fit https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/relationship-coaching?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=secure_love_podcast&utm_content=back-catalog
March 31, 202640min
Number 3: S3 | Session 5: What Does Your Fear Need?
Have you ever fought so hard for a connection that one day, you simply run out of energy? You stop yelling. You stop protesting. You just… go quiet. That is exactly where we find Rachel today. Exhausted from years of feeling emotionally dropped, Rachel's nervous system is so overloaded that she has shifted from anxious pursuit into complete emotional numbing. She is grappling with a dark, heavy belief that she is fundamentally 'too much' to be loved. In this episode, we gently unpack that heavy suitcase of grief. We trace Rachel's fear of rejection all the way back to her childhood, to a little girl who was teased and left entirely alone to manage her pain. We explore what happens when we use "distractions"—focusing on the thousands of little problems we have to solve throughout the day—as a way to control the dark, horrible place of feelings inside of us. You will hear how those early experiences of emotional abandonment built the invisible walls Rachel is hiding behind right now, and what happens when we finally slow down to ask the body: What is your fear fearing? What does your fear need? Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship. Not sure what your attachment style is? Take the free quiz, three minutes, and you'll get your style plus what to do about it. https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/attachment-style-quiz?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=secure_love_podcast&utm_content=back-catalog More from Julie: * Secure Love, the national bestseller https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/secure-love-relationship-book?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=secure_love_podcast&utm_content=back-catalog * The Secure Love Club, 100+ hours of recorded sessions, plus live group meetings with Julie https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/the-secure-love-club?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=secure_love_podcast&utm_content=back-catalog * Work with a coach, schedule a 15-minute call to see if we're a fit https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/relationship-coaching?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=secure_love_podcast&utm_content=back-catalog
March 24, 202654min
Number 4: S3 | Session 4: Building a Positive Cycle from the Fear of Disappointment
Leading up to this week's session, we have established a new foundation of vulnerability and we tackle one of the biggest challenges in their relationship: Mike's family. For Rachel, the family dynamic is an environment where she feels constantly pushed to the side. But for Mike, stepping out of line with his parents triggers a profound, physical alarm response in his nervous system. In this episode, we dive deep into the agonizing tension Mike feels being wedged between his wife and his family, and how the intense fear of disappointing others drives his avoidance. By staying grounded in his body instead of escaping into his head to "fix" the problem, Mike is able to show Rachel his true emotional state. He admits that his avoidance isn't a lack of care, but a desperate attempt to regulate his own overwhelming fear. The moment he shares this vulnerability, everything changes. Rachel doesn't feel abandoned; she feels safe and co-regulated. Together, they take their first steps out of their negative loop and begin building a new, positive cycle. Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship. Not sure what your attachment style is? Take the free quiz, three minutes, and you'll get your style plus what to do about it. https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/attachment-style-quiz?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=secure_love_podcast&utm_content=back-catalog More from Julie: * Secure Love, the national bestseller https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/secure-love-relationship-book?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=secure_love_podcast&utm_content=back-catalog * The Secure Love Club, 100+ hours of recorded sessions, plus live group meetings with Julie https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/the-secure-love-club?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=secure_love_podcast&utm_content=back-catalog * Work with a coach, schedule a 15-minute call to see if we're a fit https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/relationship-coaching?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=secure_love_podcast&utm_content=back-catalog
March 17, 202644min
Number 5: S3 | Session 2: Escaping to the Head When the Heart Gets Scared
Welcome back to the second half of our first session with Rachel and Mike . After Rachel courageously opens up about her deep grief and abandonment fears, the emotional stakes in the room are high . For an Avoidant partner like Mike, this is a terrifying moment . Instead of leaning into the emotion, his natural instinct is to run to the safety of his intellect—over-explaining, rationalizing, and trying to "fix" the problem to make the discomfort stop . In this episode, we slow everything down to understand the overwhelming physical tension and fear of failure that drives Mike's avoidance . We reach a profound breakthrough as we uncover the truth behind the Avoidant struggle: Mike isn't abandoning Rachel because he doesn't care; he is leaving her because he doesn't know how to stay with himself. Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship. Not sure what your attachment style is? Take the free quiz, three minutes, and you'll get your style plus what to do about it. https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/attachment-style-quiz?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=secure_love_podcast&utm_content=back-catalog More from Julie: * Secure Love, the national bestseller https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/secure-love-relationship-book?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=secure_love_podcast&utm_content=back-catalog * The Secure Love Club, 100+ hours of recorded sessions, plus live group meetings with Julie https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/the-secure-love-club?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=secure_love_podcast&utm_content=back-catalog * Work with a coach, schedule a 15-minute call to see if we're a fit https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/relationship-coaching?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=secure_love_podcast&utm_content=back-catalog
March 03, 202637min