I was SO good at sweeping things under the rug! I could take any huge bad things that happened and just make it disappear. Do you know what I mean? Have you ever experienced this? Maybe you have heard this phrase before and don’t really know what it’s talking about. I am going to explain it right here and give you personal examples from my world.

I recently realized that the broom I used the most actually has a title. Here’s what I mean. Sweeping things under the rug refers to all the times that we make excuses for someone’s bad behavior. We don’t hold them accountable for what they have said or done. We push it aside and move on. Some refer to this as forgive and forget. We might try to pretend it never happened. We convince ourselves that this person didn’t mean it or was having a bad day or any other excuse we can come up with.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Imagine finally opening up about the emotional abuse you’ve endured, only to be met with harsh judgments, dismissive comments, or cruel accusations that make you doubt yourself even more. Victim blaming doesn’t just hurt—it silences, isolates, and strengthens the grip of the abuser.

In this episode, I unpack the devastating impact of victim blaming on survivors of covert narcissistic abuse. From dismissive remarks like “Why didn’t you just leave?” to outright accusations that invalidate your experience, we explore how these responses deepen the wounds of those already suffering.

If you’ve ever felt unseen, unheard, or blamed for your own pain, this episode is for you. I address:

To those who may not fully understand, this is your chance to learn how empathy and compassion can truly make a difference.

Your story matters. You deserve to be heard, not blamed. 💜

👉 Tune in now to break the silence and join the movement toward healing and understanding.

Ready to take the next step? Explore my coaching services at covertnarcissism.com

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Michelle shares her story after decades with a covert narcissist. As a stay at home mom, she was not allowed to work outside the home. He maintained his control over her in this way. Step by step, she put a plan in place and worked towards her freedom, which is now becoming her reality.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

I cringe every time I hear someone ask a victim of covert narcissism why they are still there or why they haven’t left. It’s an okay question in the right circumstances. But it is a crushing question in the wrong situation. 

In the wrong conversation, this becomes victim blaming.

You aren’t strong enough to stand up for yourself.

You don’t love yourself enough.

You chose this so that’s on you.

If you decide to stay, I can’t help you.

These statements and these attitudes are so painful to someone who is already living in an incredibly painful situation. Making them feel worse is not going to help. When I am in a coaching situation and someone tells me that they really want to stay. I understand this, because so did I. So let’s talk about it.

For those who have left, that was an incredibly tough decision to make. But I want you to understand that for those who stay, this is an equally tough decision to make. To everyone listening who has chosen to stay in their marriage with a covert narcissist, I want you to know this: you are not alone. Your choice to stay is not a measure of your strength or worth. It is simply the path you are on right now, and there is no shame in that.

Continue to take care of yourself. Protect your peace. And remember, you have the power to revisit this decision whenever you feel the need. Life is a journey, and you are walking it with courage every single day.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

For survivors of covert narcissistic abuse, the New Year can feel overwhelming—another reminder of time lost and dreams unfulfilled. But this year can mark the start of something new: freedom, healing, and renewal.

In this heartfelt episode, I share how I transitioned from merely surviving to truly living—reclaiming peace in my home, my heart, and my mind. I’ll provide practical steps to help you let go of emotional burdens, set boundaries, and embrace small, meaningful joys.

The life you deserve—a life of peace, connection, and freedom—is possible. Let this be the year you step forward, one small moment at a time.

"You are stronger than you know, and this is your year to let go, to heal, and to rise."

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Today, I want to talk to you about a question that lingers in the hearts of so many: Why can’t I feel intimate with my partner? Let me assure you, you’re not alone in asking this. Intimacy, that deep connection we all crave, can feel impossible when you’re caught in the web of emotional abuse.

Victims of covert abuse spend years wondering what is wrong with them.

Why am I not more sexually attracted to my partner?

We go to the doctor to learn what is wrong with us.

We try medications and hormones. We try stress reduction and eating healthier.

We try to just force our way through it.

But nothing seems to work!

This is because you are having a very normal reaction to a person that does not feel safe to you. A covert narcissist's impact on intimacy is profound and often heartbreaking. Intimacy requires trust, vulnerability, and emotional safety. These qualities  are absent in relationships with covert narcissists.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

The holidays can be a difficult time for survivors of covert narcissistic abuse—what should be moments of joy often become memories of tension and survival. In this heartfelt episode, I reflect on past holidays that were filled with anxiety and share how I transformed my life and home into a sanctuary of peace, love, and laughter.

Six years after leaving a chaotic environment, I’ve learned how to reclaim joy, create genuine connection, and build a home where feelings are safe and celebrated. If you’re struggling this holiday season, know that healing is possible. Join me as I offer hope, share my personal journey, and provide encouragement for those longing to turn survival into peace and transformation.

This holiday, you deserve joy. You deserve peace. And you are strong enough to create it.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Emotional abuse is often described as insidious, and for good reason. It doesn’t have to happen constantly to dominate your thoughts, emotions, and decisions. Even if the abuse only happens 10% of the time on a clock or calendar, the fear of it, the anticipation of it, and the recovery from it consumes your mind 100% of the time. 

You are constantly analyzing it, trying to figure out what went wrong, wondering what you could have done and so on. Let’s talk about why that is and what we can do to take back our mental and emotional space.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

I can’t keep living like this. I’ve tried everything I know to try. Things might get better for a little while, but it never lasts. I continuously find myself right back in the same place. Over and over trying to explain how I feel and everything is always flipped back at me. I’ve been doing this for years, or even decades, and I just can’t do it anymore. I’ve tried everything I can try. I’m damaged. My kids are damaged. I’m done. I want out, now what?

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Are you dreading the holidays? Approaching them with a pit in your stomach?

I remember those days all too well! I didn't want to take the trips with him. I didn't want to go visit family with him. I didn't want to be with him 24/7.

Who dreads the holidays? People who are living with a covert narcissist or visiting a covert narcissistic family member

To those of you who are heading into these holidays with covert narcissists in your life, I see you. I hear the discouragement and exhaustion in you. I hear your cry for peace.

We have to find some humor at times or we are all going to lose our minds. So this year we are playing covert narcissist BINGO!

On the bingo cards you will find:

For your copy of a bingo card, join my mailing list at http://www.covertnarcissism.com

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast