When manipulation sneaks into your divorce, it’s not just annoying, it’s super dangerous. In this candid episode, Andrea and Morgan teach you how to spot the most common manipulation tactics used before and during divorce, and how to stop falling for them. With the unforgettable acronym WTF (Want, Three Steps Ahead, Facts), they walk you through real scenarios, including guilt-tripping about the kids, controlling family finances, and “let’s not use lawyers” setups. Plus, Andrea shares a personal story that inspired the entire conversation complete with a tribute to her late grandmother, the original queen of no-BS.

What you’ll learn:

• The WTF method: Want, Three Steps Ahead, and Facts
• How pre-divorce manipulation keeps you stuck (and what to do)
• Why “we don’t need lawyers” is a massive red flag
• Guilt tactics involving kids, family, and money
• How to shut down drama without escalating conflict
• The emotional and financial cost of being reactive
• How to think like a chess player, not a punching bag

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mediation doesn’t have to suck—but walking in unprepared absolutely does. In this solo power-packed episode, Andrea and Morgan deliver the exact roadmap you need before entering mediation. Whether it’s your parenting plan, finances, or both on the table, this episode walks you through every question to ask your lawyer, how to mentally prepare, and the secret negotiation strategies that’ll keep you calm, confident, and in control.

What you’ll learn:

• The 4-part strategy to prep for mediation like a pro
• What makes a bad mediator—and how to avoid one
• Why your first offer will probably suck (and that’s okay)
• What “sweeteners” are and how to use them to get what you want
• Tips to regulate your emotions and stay focused during mediation
• Whether attorney-assisted mediation is worth it
• How to build your own mediation “cheat sheet”
• Why mediation saves you time, money, and sanity (even if it fails)

Burning Questions Answered:

• “How do I know if what I’m asking for is realistic?”
• “What if my ex throws something crazy at me?”
• “Do I need to get the mediator to like me?”
• “Can I call my lawyer during mediation?”
• “What happens if we can’t agree on anything?”

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

So… your spouse wants a divorce and you don’t? Oof. That’s a brutal position to be in—and one we know all too well. In this candid, no-holds-barred episode, Andrea and Morgan dive into the exact steps you need to take—legally and emotionally—when divorce isn’t your idea, but it’s happening anyway. Whether the papers haven’t been filed yet or you’ve already been served, this is your guide to protecting yourself, preparing smartly, and finding solid ground when your world feels upside down.

What You’ll Learn:

• The first 3 legal steps to take if your spouse hasn’t filed yet
• How to emotionally process being blindsided by divorce
• What to do (and not do) if your spouse has filed
• When discernment counseling works (and when it won’t)
• How to avoid expensive legal mistakes just because you’re overwhelmed
• Why it’s critical to understand your attorney’s strategy

Burning Questions Answered:

• “What if I don’t want a divorce—do I have any control?”
• “How can I financially prepare if I’m in the dark?”
• “Is couples therapy enough to save us?”
• “What happens if I ignore the divorce petition?”
• “How do I hold it together when I’m falling apart?

Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

If you’ve ever fired off an angry text, regretted it immediately, or found yourself stuck in never-ending drama with your ex—this episode is for you. Andrea and Morgan sit down with the legendary Bill Eddy (lawyer, therapist, mediator, and creator of the BIFF method) to unpack exactly how to communicate with high-conflict people—without losing your mind (or your case).

You’ll learn why your responses might be feeding the fire, what judges actually notice in emails, and the two acronyms that can completely transform how you co-parent with a difficult ex. Whether you’re in the thick of divorce or trying to rebuild your peace afterward—this is a must-listen.

What you’ll learn:

• What the BIFF method is (and why every lawyer uses it)
• How to end hostile conversations without fueling the fire
• What judges think when they read your emails
• How to save major money by communicating smarter
• The difference between reacting and responding
• Why empathy is a power move (not a weakness)
• How to stop playing the blame game and move forward
• The biggest legal risk of oversharing via text or email
• How to draft a response that makes your ex pause, not pounce
• What “emotional mirroring” is—and how to avoid it

Burning questions answered in this episode:

• What do I actually say when my ex sends a nasty email?
• How can I communicate effectively if my ex is a narcissist?
• Should I respond to everything my co-parent says?
• Why does tone matter if we’re already in court?
• How do I keep conflict from costing me a fortune?

Connect with Bill Eddy:

• Website: www.highconflictinstitute.com
• Books: BIFF for Co-Parent Communication, Ear Statements, and more
• Instagram: @highconflictinstitute

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Is it your ex… or your estrogen? In this honest, hilarious, and eye-opening episode, Andrea and Morgan sit down with Joanna Strober, founder and CEO of MIDI, to uncover how midlife hormone shifts can sabotage your divorce (and your sanity). They discuss why so many women feel like they’re losing their minds during divorce, how to actually get helpful care without expensive concierge clinics, and what might be missing from your divorce team. Spoiler: it might be estrogen and semaglutide.

• What MIDI is—and why it might be your new secret weapon
• The signs you’re not “just emotional”… your hormones might be off
• How perimenopause symptoms overlap with divorce stress
• Why good healthcare now can help you make better divorce decisions
• What hormones like estrogen and testosterone can (and can’t) fix
• The juicy good truth about weight loss meds like semaglutide (aka Ozempic/Wegovy)
• How MIDI makes care accessible and insurance-friendly
• The long-term risks of ignoring hormonal health
• Why your second act deserves a thriving body and brain
• How to stop using your lawyer as your therapist

Burning questions answered in this episode:

• What the hell is happening to my body during divorce?
• Can hormones really impact mood, memory, libido, and weight?
• Is telehealth legit—or should I be worried?
• What’s the real deal with GLP-1s (like semaglutide)?
• Is testosterone safe for women?
• How do I know if I’m in perimenopause?
• What if my insurance doesn’t cover this?
• Could taking care of my hormones have saved my marriage?
• How do I get started with MIDI?
• Why is feeling better the key to not sucking at divorce?

Check out MIDI: trymidi.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

In today's episode, Andrea and Morgan break down the divorce dream team—who you need, who you don’t, and where to invest your VERY hard-earned dollars. From therapists to forensic accountants and parenting coordinators, they give you the inside scoop on which players actually move the needle in your case. Plus, they get real (and a little savage) about online divorce coaches and overpriced fluff. If you're building your team or just starting out, this episode is your ultimate roadmap to not sucking at divorce.

What you’ll learn:

• What a “divorce team” actually is and why you need one
• When hiring a therapist makes sense (spoiler: probably now)
• Why most divorce coaches aren’t worth your money
• What a parenting coordinator does—and if you need one
• The truth about forensic accountants, child therapists, and financial advisors
• Which services save money vs. waste it
• The one product they do endorse: The Divorce Crash Course
• How to use Our Family Wizard for smoother co-parenting
• What red flags to avoid when building your team

Burning questions answered in this episode:

• Do I really need a lawyer or can I DIY my divorce?
• Who should be on my divorce “dream team”?
• What kind of therapist is helpful during divorce (for me or my kids)?
• What’s the real deal with divorce coaches on social media?
• What does a forensic accountant actually do?
• Is it okay to start therapy for my kids without telling my ex?
• Can tools like Our Family Wizard actually save me money?
• How do I handle team members when my attorney is from a big firm?
• Are financial advisors helpful during divorce—or after?
• How can I protect my mental and physical health during this process?

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Think saving money during divorce is impossible? Think again. In this episode, Andrea and Morgan serve up the real (and hilarious) talk on how to actually cut your legal costs without sacrificing your sanity—or your settlement. From bulletproof email tips to why paralegals are your secret weapon, they’re spilling the strategies that your wallet will thank you for. Bonus: Andrea might just be learning all the words to American Pie, so there’s that too.

What you'll learn:

• How bullet-point emails can save you hundreds (yes, hundreds) of dollars
• Why scheduling quick, focused calls can be smarter (and cheaper) than endless emails
• The right way to ask your attorney for help without skyrocketing your bill
• Why working with an associate or paralegal can be a total financial game-changer
• The exact language to use when your legal bill makes you want to faint

Burning questions answered in this episode:

• How do you ask for cost-saving options without insulting your attorney?
• When should you insist on a phone call instead of an email?
• What should you do if you’re feeling totally overwhelmed by the documents you need to gather?
• How can you tell if your case really needs a big-name partner or if an associate will do just fine?

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

In this episode on How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan and Andrea welcome Renee Swanson, host of the Covert Narcissism podcast, for a powerful conversation about planning your way out of an emotionally abusive marriage. Renee shares how she reclaimed her identity, protected her children, and gathered strength before initiating divorce — all while still living under the same roof as her husband. It's an episode full of actionable guidance, healing truths, and hope for anyone feeling stuck, exhausted, and unsure of their next move.

What you’ll learn:

• How to emotionally prepare before leaving a toxic relationship
• The power of “baby steps” and small daily actions that build long-term momentum
• Ways to gather legal and emotional information to reduce overwhelm
• How to communicate safely and reclaim your dignity while still in the marriage
• Tools and strategies for coexisting with a high-conflict partner during separation
• Why there’s never a perfect time to divorce — and why that’s okay

Questions answered in this episode:

• Can you begin healing while still in an emotionally abusive marriage?
• What does a practical, step-by-step divorce exit plan look like?
• How do you manage sharing a home with someone who triggers or controls you?
• How do you know when it’s really time to leave?
• What legal steps should you take while you’re still deciding?
• How do you stop reacting and start protecting your peace?

Our Family Wizard is another fantastic resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Friends, slide into our DMs, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Connect with our guest, Renee:

https://www.covertnarcissism.com/podcast

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and Morgan tackle the often-overlooked topic of how perimenopause and menopause can impact relationships and yep, that's right- divorce. They are joined by Dr. Heather Cushing, an MD who specializes in hormonal health, to discuss the effects of hormonal changes on women's moods, behavior, and marital dynamics. The conversation covers the confusion and frustration many women feel as they experience shifts in their bodies and emotions, which can often be mistaken for relationship problems. Dr. Cushing explains the difference between perimenopause and menopause, the importance of hormone therapy (HRT), and how addressing hormonal imbalances can help women make clearer, more rational decisions during the divorce process.

Questions Answered in this Episode:

• What is the difference between perimenopause and menopause?
• What symptoms are commonly experienced during perimenopause and menopause?
• How do hormonal changes affect mood and relationships?
• How can hormonal changes lead to feelings of irritability and emotional distance in marriages?
• What should women do if they feel like they are not themselves during perimenopause or menopause?
• How do hormone imbalances impact decision-making, especially regarding marriage and divorce?
• What steps can women take to address hormonal issues before making life-changing decisions like divorce?
• Is hormone therapy a safe and effective treatment for women experiencing perimenopausal or menopausal symptoms?
• How can men navigate the challenges of supporting a spouse going through hormonal changes?
• What are the best approaches to take for those who are hesitant to start hormone treatment but want to feel better?

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we dive into the complex relationship between faith and divorce. Our guest, Bree Sullivan-Howell, a family law attorney and author, shares her personal journey and professional insights on navigating divorce when your Christian faith conflicts with the decision to separate. From understanding the Biblical perspective on divorce to overcoming the shame and judgment that often accompanies faith-based divorces, Brie offers a compassionate and practical guide and practical steps tat you CANNOT miss.

What you'll learn:

• The challenges of reconciling religious beliefs with the reality of divorce.
• How to handle cultural and religious pressures while considering divorce.
• Actionable steps to take before and during the divorce process, including creating a plan, gathering your documents, and preparing for shifts in your social circles.
• Insights on how to stay true to your faith while navigating divorce, with examples of how faith can strengthen rather than hinder the process.

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Connect with Bree:

[email protected]

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago