The Stay or Go Podcast for Women Considering Divorce

Episode 128: Therapy, Coaching, or Psychiatry: Which support do you actually need when considering divorce?

In this episode, I’m breaking down the major differences between therapy, psychiatry, and coaching—and why all three can be absolute game-changers for your journey.

Life has been super full over here in October! Between family, my clients, and prepping for our second Stay or Go community retreat, I’ve been reflecting a lot on what it actually takes to feel supported during one of the most intense seasons of your life.

When you’re navigating the heavy question of whether to stay or go, you don't just need any support—you need the right support for where you’re at right now.

Inside this episode, I share:

• 🧠 Therapy: Why soft, unhurried clinical spaces are essential for deep trauma, attachment wounds, and processing childhood patterns.
• 💊 Psychiatry: My personal experience with late-diagnosed ADHD and how addressing neurochemistry can give you your bandwidth back when coaching or therapy feels stuck.
• 🚀 Coaching: How we build forward momentum, interrupt emotional spin, and clear the windshield so you can stop second-guessing and take action.
• 💡 The Self-Check: Questions to ask yourself to figure out which modality (or combination!) your nervous system and brain need right now—especially if you're working with budget constraints.

There is nothing sexier than letting yourself be fully supported, my love. Tune in to learn how to audit your current needs and build a support team that meets you right where you are. ✨

Resources: 

Apple - Episode 89: Could Undiagnosed ADHD Be Your Missing Piece?

Spotify - Episode 89: Could Undiagnosed ADHD Be Your Missing Piece?

Apple - Episode 81: From Fog to Freedom: Understanding Narcissistic Abuse with Pare Underwood

Spotify - Episode 81: From Fog to Freedom: Understanding Narcissistic Abuse with Pare Underwood

Support the show

The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨

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Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫

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Episode 127: Am I a bad person for having an affair or showing up in ways that terrify me? 💔 If you’ve ever found yourself acting out of integrity, hiding secrets, or spiraling into intense shame, this episode is a safe space to breathe and drop the self-judgment.

In this episode, we’re doing a deep dive into shadow work, making the darkness conscious, and reclaiming the exiled parts of yourself that have been locked away for far too long. 🔑

Inside this episode, we explore:

• ✨ Shadow Behaviors vs. Who You Are: Why engaging in taboo desires, affairs, or secrets doesn't mean you are a "bad" or "evil" person.
• 📉 The Ineffectiveness of the Shame Spiral: Why beating yourself up and throwing deadbolts on your "basement" only makes shadow behaviors escape sideways.
• 🌗 Embracing Yin & Yang: How to break free from the lie of being "all light" and step into true human wholeness.
• 🥀 Blooming in a Closet: What to do when you’re paired with a partner who demands rigid perfection and refuses to tolerate human complexity.
• 🌱 Reclaiming Exiled Desires: How to bring hidden parts of your sexuality, anger, or autonomy back into the living room of your life with adult integrity.

Stop punishing yourself for the ways your starved parts are reacting to being locked away. It’s time to move out of black-and-white thinking and step into your full, vast, and authentic self! 💖

Links & Resources Mentioned

• Ready for Deep-Dive Support? I currently have only 2 spots open for my high-touch 1-on-1 coaching container before we launch the waitlist! Click here to book an Alignment & Clarity Call with Britta
• Love the Podcast? Please take 30 seconds to rate, review, or leave a comment on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Every review helps get this safe space into the hands of another woman who needs it today!
• Ep #11: Unmanaged Complex PTSD: How It Affects Your Life & Relationships
• Apple: Do You Really Want a Divorce — or Are You in a CPTSD Flashback?
• Spotify: Do You Really Want a Divorce — or Are You in a CPTSD Flashback?
• Apple: From Fog to Freedom: Understanding Narcissistic Abuse with Pare Underwood
• Spotify: From Fog to Freedom: Understanding Narcissistic Abuse with Pare Underwood

Support the show

The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨

Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️

Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫

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Episode 126: Stop doing this alone. Discover why real, unshakeable sisterhood is the ultimate game changer when considering divorce—and how connection physically rewires your brain for strength.

Lovies, welcome back! We are doing something a little different this week because we’ve hit a Fifth Tuesday—a rare moment on the calendar that only rolls around once every three months!

My business advisor gave me the most gorgeous suggestion for these Fifth Tuesdays: take a breath, look back at past episodes that didn't get the love they deserved, and pull a hidden gem up to the surface.

Today, we are resurrecting Episode 78, an episode recorded right after Quinn and I returned from our very first Stay or Go retreat. Y’all... Quinn is on fire in this conversation. She drops truth bomb after truth bomb, breaking down the neuroscience of support, why isolation is physically dangerous, and how true connection helps us heal internal misogyny and stop centering men’s emotions over our own lives.

The timing couldn't be more synchronistic. As we pass into October 2026, we are celebrating two years of the Stay or Go community and preparing for our second annual retreat! Looking at this episode now gives me chills. A year ago, women were listening to this exact conversation feeling lonely, stuck, and terrified. They took the leap, joined the community, and this month, they’re celebrating radical personal transformation in person with me.

Whether this is your first time hearing this episode or your fourth, let it hit differently today. Let it be your clarion call to stop waiting on the sidelines.

What We Dig Into in This Episode

• The Difference Between Connection and "Performative" Relationships: We unpack Brené Brown’s definition of real connection and contrast it with the conditional, role-based relationships many of us grew up with in patriarchal or high-control systems.
• The Neuroscience of Sisterhood: Why having women in your corner physically increases your capacity to handle hard things and alters your brain’s perception of fear—turning an overwhelming threat into a manageable challenge.
• The Physical Danger of Isolation: Digging into the U.S. Surgeon General’s research showing that loneliness carries health risks equivalent to smoking and obesity.
• Decentering Men and Healing Relational Aggression: How shifting away from competing for male attention allows women to rebuild the broken maternal lines and form safe, sacred webs of support.
• What "Doing Your Own Work" in Community Looks Like: Why real community isn't a passive venting space or a codependent rescue mission—it’s a mirror, a net, and a container for deep self-responsibility.

Show Notes: 

Strong Ground - Brene Brown

The Rise & Fall of Capitalism - Diabolical Lies

Instagram Reel

Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community. - Surgeon General’s Advisory

Doing Almost Anything is Better With Friends, Research Finds - Washington Post

Davis AJ, Crittenden B, Cohen E. Effects of social support on performance outputs and perceived difficulty during physical exercise. Physiol Behav. 2021 Oct 1;239:113490. doi: 10.1016/j.physbeh.2021.113490. Epub 2021 Jun 15. PMID: 34139269.

The role of social support and social identification in challenge and threat, perceived stress, and life satisfaction. Jamie C. Gillman, Martin J. Turner, Matthew J. Slater

First published: 11 July 2024 https://doi.org/10.1111/spc3.12982

Support the show

The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨

Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️

Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫

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Episode 125: Reclaiming the wild woman within starts when we finally slow down and listen to our bodies. 

In this episode, I’m leaning into deep trust, honoring my fatigue, and stepping away from the "push through it" culture. After battling intense PMDD and learning to honor my body’s natural rhythms, I felt called to share something soul-deep with you today: a cozy, fireside-style reading from the iconic introduction of Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés. 📚🕯️

Seven years after my divorce, looking back at my taped-together copy of this book reminds me where my entire healing journey began. We dive into what it truly means to reconnect with the wild woman archetype, trust your intuitive inner knower, and stop shrinking yourself to fit into a world that doesn't hold space for your true nature.

In this episode, we explore:

• 🌿 Honoring Body Cues: Why stepping back to rest and resource actually created more abundance and peace in my life.
• 🐺 The Wild Woman Archetype: How connecting with your natural instincts helps you navigate difficult life transitions and divorce considerations.
• 📖 A Soulful Reading: A deep dive into the intro of Women Who Run with the Wolves and why story is medicine for our healing.
• 🛠️ Grounding Practices: Insights on our latest community workshop with Jenica Mills on nervous system regulation and embodiment.

So grab a fresh cup of tea, wrap yourself in your favorite blanket, and let these words gently wash over you. It’s time to sing the flesh back onto our bones and return to ourselves. ☕💛

Episode Links & Community Resources:

• Donate to the GoFundMe: Click the link to read her powerful story and donate $10, $20, or whatever you can to help get her back on the road!
• Women Who Run With the Wolves - Clarissa Pinkola Estés
• Join the Stay or Go Community: Text StayOrGoCommunity to 33777 to access Jenica Mills’ Grounding & Orienting workshop replay and get details on our upcoming October Retreat!

Support the show

The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨

Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️

Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫

Stay or Go Community

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Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Episode 124: Ever enter a conversation trying to address something that hurt you, only to walk away 20 minutes later feeling like you’re the one who messed up? 🤯 If you constantly find yourself apologizing for things your partner did, you aren't crazy - you might be experiencing DARVO.

In this episode, I’m digging deep into DARVO (Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender) the ultimate playbook used by manipulators, narcissists, and emotionally immature partners to dodge accountability and flip the script on you.

Together, we’ll break down:

• 🧠 What DARVO stands for and why it completely untethers your reality.
• 💔 4 real-life stories illustrating how DARVO shows up in everyday conflicts, sexual coercion, avoiding responsibility during a crisis, and emotional punishment.
• 🛡️ Why empathetic women are so vulnerable to this tactic (and how your best qualities get weaponized against you).
• 🚪 How to spot the script so you can step out of the "crazy room," stop defending yourself, and reclaim your power and peace.

Plus, before we jump into the topic, I’m sharing a very special request from my heart. I’m asking our amazing sisterhood to step up and help a wonderful young woman in deep financial need by supporting her GoFundMe. Let’s show up for each other! 💖

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• 🚗 Support the GoFundMe: Click the link to read her powerful story and donate $10, $20, or whatever you can to help get her back on the road!
• 💬 Ready to untangle the confusion in your marriage? If your gut is reacting to this episode, don't figure it out alone. Text 90MIN (all one word) to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Get Unstuck & Empowered Session with me.
• ⭐️ Love the show? Please take a quick moment to rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It helps more women find the clarity and support they need!

Support the show

The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨

Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️

Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫

Stay or Go Community

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YouTube Channel

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Episode 123: The Lindsay Clancy Case: Why So Many Women Are Drowning in Silence 💔 Is the pressure to hold everything together leaving you completely exhausted? If you are a deeply sensitive, high-functioning, or neurodivergent woman carrying the weight of a marriage that looks "good" on the outside while drowning on the inside, this raw, unscripted episode is for you.

Today, I’m opening up about a deep, intuitive download that poured out of me after processing the collective grief, rage, and visceral reaction so many of us felt watching the Lindsay Clancy trial unfold.

Inside this episode, we’re unpacking:

• 🛑 The Lindsay Clancy Case & Female Psyche: Why this tragedy hit such an unspoken nerve for women who recognize the terrifying reality of drowning without a safe harbor.
• ⚡ Women as "Shock Absorbers": How we burn out trying to absorb the friction of failed systems, patriarchal expectations, and emotionally disconnected marriages.
• 🌿 Somatic Healing & CPTSD: A personal walk-through of a recent trauma flashback I experienced, how my nervous system released it, and what true safety feels like.
• ❤️‍🩹 Reframing Survival Tactics: Why affairs, overworking, or self-medicating aren't moral failings—they're desperate body responses to a lack of support.
• ✨ Reclaiming Your Humanity: How to stop sacrificing your soul on the altar of keeping everyone else happy, and start building a life where you are genuinely held.

You are not crazy, you are not broken, and you were never meant to carry this heavy load all by yourself. Take a deep breath, soft shoulders, and let's dive in together. 💗

Show Notes: 

Jenna's Instagram Post

Apple - What Every Woman Deserves to Know with Quinn Otrera

Spotify - What Every Woman Deserves to Know with Quinn Otrera

Apple - Why Men Get to Succeed and Women Get Exhausted with Quinn Otrera

Spotify - Why Men Get to Succeed and Women Get Exhausted with Quinn Otrera

Support the show

The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨

Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️

Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫

Stay or Go Community

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Episode 122: Somatic trauma release and nervous system healing with guest Jennica Mills. 🌿✨

Hey friend, welcome back! Today, we are taking a deep breath and dropping straight into something that every single woman considering divorce needs to hear. I am beyond thrilled to sit down with the incredible Jennica Mills—a somatic educator with over 22 years of experience in trauma release, sexual wellness, and embodiment work.

If you’ve ever felt like you’ve completely lost yourself while trying to keep the peace, overfunctioning, or trying to manage everyone else’s emotions around you… this conversation is going to feel like a warm hug and a massive breakthrough all at once. ❤️

Jennica and I dive into:

• Why "calm" isn't the ultimate goal: Moving past standard nervous system regulation into true responsiveness 🌊
• Interoception & Neurosception: How to tune back into your body's wisdom so you can finally know your true "yes" and "no" 🔍
• The "Myopic Mirror": Why you might feel a deep conflict between who everyone else expects you to be and who your soul actually is ✨
• Orienting & Grounding: Why we have to build safety and capacity in the body before diving into deep trauma work 🌳

It is time to give your body permission to step out of survival mode and into full-on intimacy with your life. Grab a tea, get comfortable, and let's drop in together! 🎧👇

Want to join Jennica live inside our Stay or Go Community? 💖 She is coming into the community for two powerful workshops on Orienting and Grounding!

📱 Text "stayorgo community" to 33777 to get onboarded so you don't miss out on dropping in with us live!

Show Notes:

Jennica's Website

Jennica's Instagram

Support the show

The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨

Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️

Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫

Stay or Go Community

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Episode 121: How to Have the Breakup Conversation When You Fear Conflict 💔

Having the breakup conversation with your spouse can feel utterly overwhelming, especially if you hate conflict or worry about how they’ll react. If you’ve been holding back your decision to leave simply because you’re terrified of bringing it up, take a deep breath. You are not alone, and you don’t have to navigate this dysregulating moment without a roadmap. 

In this episode, I’m digging deep into what it actually takes to prepare for the separation or divorce talk. We’re moving beyond just finding the "perfect words" to focus on what matters most: your safety, your emotional grounding, and setting firm boundaries.

Here is what we dive into together:

• 📋 Pre-Conversation Prep: How sorting out your logistics and knowing your rights beforehand gives you a grounded foundation.
• 🔄 The Reality of EIPs: Why this conversation might not be "one and done" if you are married to an emotionally immature partner.
• 💔 Grieving the Outcome: Accepting that no combination of words will magically make an emotionally volatile partner react calmly.
• 🗣️ The Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Framework: A simple 4-step script to state your boundaries clearly without getting pulled into emotional manipulation or drama.

Remember, my love: you don’t need your partner’s permission or agreement to choose yourself. Tune in, take a slow breath, and let’s walk through this together. 🤍

Next Steps & Resources Mentioned:

• 🎙️ Episode 106 Apple: When Husbands Don't Lose Their Shit During Divorce
• 🎙️ Episode 106 Spotify: When Husbands Don't Lose Their Shit During Divorce
• 🎙️ Episodes 110 Apple: What Every Woman Deserves to Know (with Quinn)
• 🎙️ Episodes 110 Spotify: What Every Woman Deserves to Know (with Quinn)
• 🎙️ Episode 111 Apple: Why Men Get to Succeed and Women Get Exhausted (with Quinn)
• 🎙️ Episode 111 Spotify: Why Men Get to Succeed and Women Get Exhausted (with Quinn)
• 🎙️ Episode 85 Apple: Stop the Narcissist Hunt: Focus on How YOU Feel Instead
• 🎙️ Episode 85 Spotify: Stop the Narcissist Hunt: Focus on How YOU Feel Instead
• Unpaid labor Reel
• 📚 Recommended Reading: Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People by Lindsay Gibson
• 💬 Get 1-on-1 Support: Need a tailor-made roadmap for your unique situation? Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-minute coaching session with me.
• 👯‍♀️ Join the Community: Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to connect with women who truly get it!

Support the show

The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨

Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️

Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫

Stay or Go Community

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Episode 120: Reclaim your authority and trust your intuition when considering divorce.

This episode is a banger, and I am speaking straight from the heart (and a little bit of fire 🔥).

If you’ve been feeling stuck, exhausted, or constantly doubting your own reality, I want to land one fundamental truth in your heart today: In a world designed by and for men, trusting your own mind and body is a radically necessary act of self-preservation. 💡

In this episode, I’m opening up about a personal health scare with perimenopause and how easily even I caught myself outsourcing my authority to external "experts" who told me my symptoms weren't real. 🛑 We dig into how we as women, especially those considering divorce or coming out of fundamentalist religious environments, have been systematically programmed to believe someone else out there knows better than we do.

Here’s what we’re breaking down together:

• 🛑 Reclaiming Your "Motherfucking No": Why ignoring your body’s signals is keeping you stuck—and how to start trusting your burnout, your boundaries, and your intuition over someone else’s comfort.
• 💔 The "Good Guy" Trap: How subtle manipulation, emotional hijacking, and patriarchal rules teach us to make our unhappiness a "me problem" instead of seeing the system for what it is.
• 🚪 No One Is Coming to Save You: Accepting that while no knight in shining armor is showing up to fix your marriage, you hold the steering wheel—and you don't have to drive alone.
• 📣 A Word to My Male Listeners: Why patriarchal systems exploit you, too, and why reclaiming individual agency is a civic and human imperative.

You hold more authority than you think, babe. It’s time to take it back. 💪✨

🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned in This Episode:

• Join the Stay or Go Community: Text STAYORGO to 33777 to surround yourself with women who have your back. 👯‍♀️
• Book a 90-Minute Strategy Session: Text 90MIN to 33777 to start doing the deep one-on-one work. 🗝️
• Recommended Episodes: Go back and check out my deep dive into Gerda Lerner's The Creation of Patriarchy and The Creation of Feminist Consciousness. 📚
• Episode 110: What Every Woman Deserves to Know with Quinn Otrera
• Episode 111: Why Men Get to Succeed and Women Get Exhausted with Quinn Otrera
• "The Men Are Not All Right"...Right? - Diabolical Lies
• Invisible Women - Caroline Criado Perez

Support the show

The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨

Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️

Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫

Stay or Go Community

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Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Episode 119: Nervous System Regulation for Divorce & Decision Making: Why You’re Not Broken

Are you feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or trapped in your marriage and wondering why you can’t make a clear decision? In this episode of the Stay or Go Podcast, I dive deep into why your nervous system regulation is the ultimate key to moving from survival mode into steady clarity. If you've been judging yourself for feeling paralyzed, take a deep breath, you are not broken. Your body is just asking for physical safety before it can process life-altering choices.

In this episode, we cover:

• 🧠 The Science of Your Autonomic Nervous System: A simple, approachable breakdown of the sympathetic "accelerator," parasympathetic "brake," and how they control your stress response.
• 🛑 Why You Can’t "Power Through" Dysregulation: How survival mode keeps you trapped in immediate escapes (like buffering, scrolling, or overworking) instead of long-term clarity.
• 🛠️ Real-World Somatic Tools: Simple, accessible practices you can use right now to ground yourself - including EFT tapping, fascia release, and muscle resets.
• 🎨 Exciting Community Updates: I share the launch of the new Gorgeous Alter Ego Design Workbook (co-created with Quinn Otrera and Jess Jox) on Substack, plus the story behind the podcast’s brand-new logo!

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• ✨ Get the Alter Ego Workbook: Join my paid Substack for just $11/month to snag the new workbook, access the Conscious Mind Mini-Course, and join our monthly live Q&As!
• 👯‍♀️ Join the Stay or Go Community: Ready to stabilize your nervous system alongside an incredible group of women? Text StayOrGoCommunity (all one word) to 33377 to get instant access to all our calls, workshops, and 2026 content.
• 💌 Work With Britta 1-on-1: Want personalized, deep-dive coaching to clear the fog and move forward? Check out my private coaching containers linked here and below.
•  Human Garage (Fascia Work)
• Episode 118 - EFT tapping and resources linked
• Episode 118 Apple - EFT tapping and resources linked
• Episode 109 - Apple
• Episode 109 - Spotify
• Episode 113 - Spotify
• Episode 113 - Apple

Drop your shoulders away from your ears, place a hand on your heart, and let’s dive in together. Sending you so much love and steady ground! 🤍

Support the show

The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨

Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️

Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫

Stay or Go Community

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Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack