Episode 61: This one’s been a long time coming, y’all. I can feel it in my bones—this is the work I’m most proud to bring into the world. In this two-part series (yep, there’s more coming next week!), I’m diving deep into covert narcissism—what it is, how it operates, and how it might be silently shaping your relationship.

This week, we’re laying down the foundation: I’m sharing the two core identifiers I use to spot covert narcissistic abuse and walking you through the first 7 of 14 psychological techniques covert narcissists use to maintain control. These aren’t just concepts—I’m pulling from personal experiences, years of coaching, and gut-wrenching stories from brave women navigating this exact terrain.

We’re going to explore what makes covert narcissism so sneaky and so damaging, why it's so often misunderstood, and most importantly, how you can begin to make sense of what’s been happening to you 💔🧠.

If you’ve ever felt like you were “crazy,” like you couldn't quite explain the emotional whiplash you’ve been living through, this episode is for you. 🧩✨

And remember—just because your partner might not be diagnosable doesn’t mean the impact isn’t real. The confusion, the guilt, the feeling of being emotionally obliterated—it’s not in your head. You are not alone.

At the end of the episode, I share a book that cracked open my own understanding and a way to work with me directly if this is landing deeply and you need more support. 📚🤝

Let’s get into it. This is a clarion call. 💥

Show Notes:

The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family - Eleanor D. Payson

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Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents - Lindsay C. Gibson

Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People: Avoid Emotional Traps, Stand Up for Your Self, and Transform Your Relationships as an Adult Child of Emotionally Immature Parents - Lindsay C. Gibson

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Episode 60: Hey sis! 👋💞 Before diving into today’s episode, I took a moment to feel into all of you — whether you're cooking dinner 🍳, running 🏃‍♀️, or driving 🚗. Just know: I SEE you. You are not alone. 🤗

This episode is a bit of a soul drop-in. I'm sharing some of my most recent and raw inner work 🌪️ — specifically, a powerful metaphor that came through during deep shadow work. Imagine your consciousness like a huge mansion 🏰 with countless rooms, each built around different beliefs we've picked up — many from childhood, religion, or past trauma.

Some of those rooms? Super painful 😞. Some? Brand new and filled with self-trust, joy, sisterhood, love, and abundance 🌷🌟. And what I’m realizing is: we don’t have to stay trapped in the rooms we didn’t consciously build. We get to create NEW rooms. New realities. Whole new wings of our inner mansion that feel like home. 🏡💗

PLUS — I share all the exciting details of what's launching in the Stay or Go Community: 🎉 Camp NVC (Nonviolent Communication)! 🌞🏕️ This summer camp is unlike anything we’ve done before — full of fun, healing, connection, and practical tools to help you communicate with more clarity, vulnerability, and power 🔥🗣️.

If you’re ready to not just listen but actually do the work this summer — to build those new rooms inside yourself and connect with your sisters 💕 — Camp NVC is waiting for you. 🏕️✨

And of course, thank you to every single one of you who has rated, reviewed, and shared this podcast 🙏💖 — your support is literally helping other women find these resources when they need them most.

I can't wait to see so many of you at camp this summer — and remember: you do not have to stay in the rooms you were handed. You get to build your own. 🗝️✨

Show Notes:

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall Rosenberg 

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Episode 59: Wow y’all… this one is a wild ride. After the energy of being on Mayim Bialik’s Breakdown, Quinn and I just had to circle back. You know those moments when you’re like, “Wait! I wasn’t done!”—yeah, this episode is all that and more. 😅✨

We’re diving into the real talk that didn’t get airtime—reading through your 🔥comments, confronting trolls 🧌, and expanding the convo on divorce, identity, and the emotional minefield that women walk when considering leaving a marriage. We talk about the empathetic Achilles heel that keeps so many women stuck, the grief of leaving—and staying—and why “just lower your expectations” is NOT the move (no, thank you! 🙅‍♀️).

From the ways society tells us to shrink and submit, to reclaiming our main character energy 💃🏽, this episode is all about being deeply, soulfully YOU in a world that often asks you to disappear. Whether you're in a small town with zero support or deep in your own freeze response, you're not alone. We’re here to talk it through—with truth, tears, laughter, and that fierce compassion I know you’re craving. 🧡

⚡️We cover:

• Why some women stay in marriages that hurt
• Rewriting the outdated divorce narrative 📝
• How to raise emotionally intelligent sons 🙌
• Real stories from the Stay or Go community
• The power (and pain) of being fully seen 👀

This one is messy, raw, and rich with truth. And babe, if you’re feeling that “I can’t keep going like this” vibe… hit play. 🎧 You're not alone—and you're more powerful than you know. 💥

Show Notes:

Relationship Expert: You’re Not Lost — You’ve Been Programmed to Fail - Mayim Bialik's Breakdown

From Closet to Confidence: Stephanie’s Journey Considering Divorce and Beyond - Apple

From Closet to Confidence: Stephanie’s Journey Considering Divorce and Beyond - Spotify

From Closet to Confidence: Stephanie’s Journey Considering Divorce and Beyond - YouTube

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Episode 58: Oh y’all… this episode is straight from my still buzzing heart 💓 because I just got done recording with Mayim Bialik and Jonathan Cohen for the Mayim Bialik's Breakdown podcast!! 😱✨ Yes. THAT one. It was magical, it was real, and it was absolutely a moment I’ll never forget. So naturally, I had to jump on the mic and share the aftermath glow with all of you—while still in my podcast outfit, no less! 😄🎧

In this episode, I’m taking you behind the scenes of how this incredible opportunity unfolded (spoiler alert: divine timing + deep soul alignment), and also sharing the very real emotional journey that came with it—hello imposter syndrome, vulnerability, and the voice of that old Mormon girl who was taught to stay small. 😮‍💨🙏

But here's the magic: this episode isn’t just about me—it’s about us. It's about what happens when we say yes to our truth, even when our voice shakes. It’s a celebration of growth, of all the tiny moments that led to this big one, and a reminder that you too are worthy of being heard 📢💖.

If you’ve ever wondered if your inner voice matters, if you’re really ready, or if your healing is actually “working”... this one’s for you. 🫶

So come vibe with me, celebrate, reflect, and maybe journal with this question: What part of me is ready to be heard—even if it shakes? 💭🖊️

P.S. The episode with Mayim drops this week, so keep your eyes on my IG (@consideringdivorce) and FB for the big announcement! 🚨🎉

Show Notes:

Mayim Bialik's Breakdown on YouTube

Mayim Bialik's Breakdown on Apple Podcast

Mayim Bialik's Breakdown on Spotify

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Episode 57: Hey loves 💕—this one is a powerhouse episode that’s been a long time in the making! I finally get to sit down with the incredible Carmina Becerra (activating your voice coach, truth-teller, and all-around force of nature 🌪️🔥).

This conversation is deeply personal for both of us, and I want to lovingly name upfront—it’s got a LOT of Go energy in it. For those of you still in the Stay phase, I see you, I honor you, and your path is just as sacred. 🌿 Please take what serves you and leave the rest, knowing I’ll have more conversations directly speaking to your experience soon.

Carmina takes us on a raw, courageous journey through her marriage to a fellow facilitator and TV host—how what looked like the perfect power couple from the outside became a story of losing herself in order to keep the peace, dimming her own radiance to protect his insecurities, and ultimately, the wild, painful, and liberating path of choosing herself again.

We talk about: ✨ How she lost—and reclaimed—her voice inside her marriage. ✨ The lie so many of us buy that we can "love someone enough" to do the work for them (spoiler: we can’t). ✨ Why divorce can sometimes be the most compassionate choice for both people. ✨ Somatic tools to help you access your inner knowing when your mind is spinning in stories. ✨ The delicious freedom and fullness waiting on the other side of bravery.

💡 And loves, if you’ve ever found yourself making yourself small to keep the peace, or waiting for a partner to rise with you while you’re stuck in the blender of survival mode—I want you to know: there is another way. You are allowed to be fully you. To shine bright AF. To take up all the damn space. 💃🔥

This is one of those episodes where I had chills the entire time. I know it’s going to resonate deeply for so many of you navigating that edge between love, loyalty, and self-abandonment. You do NOT have to choose between your truth and love. 💗 There are partners (and communities!) who will celebrate all of you.

Come soak up Carmina’s potent medicine. And if you’re craving more, she’s leading a workshop in our community this month AND has a gorgeous retreat coming up in Mexico that I cannot recommend enough. 🌸🎉

Let's go, loves. Let’s stop managing everyone else’s feelings and start choosing ourselves. 👑

Show Notes:

Carmina Becerra's Website

Carmina Becerra's Instagram

Free Your Voice Retreat

Free Your Voice Online Program

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Episode 56: Hey my beautiful loves! 💖 In today’s episode, I’m pulling us back into a softer, more mystical vibe 🌙 — one that feels like curling up with a cozy blanket for your soul. After some heavier episodes, I was aching to share the deeper practices that have truly carried me through all the ups and downs of my journey. 💫

I'm inviting you into one of my absolute favorite rituals — my New Moon and Full Moon Inner Quest spread 🌑🌕, inspired by the Pattern app and the Wild Unknown Oracle deck by Kim Krans (seriously, y'all, her art is pure magic 🎨🖤). This isn't just a "pull a card and move on" practice — it's a two-week journey with your soul, rooted in art, intuition, and divine connection. 🦋

I'll walk you through how I use these spreads to stay anchored during even the messiest times 🌊, how the archetypes and energies guide me (hello, Venom card 🐍), and why creating a visual, mystical connection with your growth is one of the yummiest gifts you can give yourself. 🎁

If you've been craving more grounding, intention, and a little more woo magic 🔮✨ in your life — this one's for you, sis. Let’s make the journey yummier together. 💖

Don't forget to DM me and send me pics of your spreads 🃏🧡 — you know I'd die to see them!!

Sending you so much love, magic, and maybe a few new decks or crystals from your next shopping trip! 😉💎

Show Notes:

The Pattern App

The Wild Unknown Archetypes Deck by Kim Krans 

The Hero’s Journey Dream Oracle Deck by Kelly Sullivan Walden

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Episode 55: Hey my loves 💕 This week, we’re keeping things punchy and powerful as I break down something I see all the time in my community and my coaching sessions—when you know a relationship isn’t right for you, but you just can’t seem to leave.

Whether it's your spouse, your affair partner, or both, this episode is a loving and truth-filled deep dive into the real reasons why letting go feels impossible. (Spoiler alert: it’s not because you’re broken, weak, or indecisive. It’s your nervous system, babe. It’s trauma. It’s biology. And it's very real. 😮‍💨)

I’m walking you through the 4 biggest reasons that might be keeping you stuck and offering tangible tools for working through each one—including somatic practices, nervous system support, and some beautiful reparenting work.

And yes, this one goes out especially to my affair girlies 💋 who are feeling deep connection and deep confusion. You're not alone. You're not crazy. You're just wired for connection—and we’re going to talk about how to gently untangle those wires and come back home to YOU. 💫

If you’ve been layering on shame because you know you should leave but your body won’t cooperate, this is your episode. This is your permission slip to stop blaming yourself and start understanding yourself. 🌿💗

Let’s reframe “letting go” as a process—not a lightning bolt moment. You are not behind. You are exactly where you need to be.

Show Notes:

Attached - Amir Levine

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma - Pete Walker

Breathwork - Allison Alexander's Website

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Episode 54: Whoa 😮‍💨 this episode came in hot, y’all. It was not the one I had planned—but sometimes the universe throws something at you that cracks your heart open in just the right way, and you’ve got to go with it. 💥

So today, I'm taking you inside a real-time nervous system ride—from receiving a message in my DMs that hit me right in my childhood wounds, to processing an emotional flashback, and coming out the other side feeling grounded and so connected to my purpose. 💫

This one’s for every woman who’s been told she’s too much, too slow, too sensitive, too anything… and showed up anyway. 🙋‍♀️ I walk you through how I handled that CPTSD moment, what I really think about patriarchal standards of efficiency, and how our current political climate in the U.S. is activating all the old stuff for so many of us.

We talk about what it’s like to question your path when everything feels uncertain, and why staying human—with humor, music, and dance parties—is a radical act of resistance. 💃🕯️

I’m sharing a gorgeous list from Paul Shattuck called “80 Tiny Moves for Everyday Resistance,” and how I'm using it to reclaim my energy and purpose. You’ll hear some of my fave tips (like wearing something meaningful or creating a playlist that reminds you who you are 🎶), and how even the smallest acts can reconnect us to our power.

Whether you're leaning toward staying or going, this episode is a reminder that this work matters—and you are so not alone. 💖 Come breathe with me, laugh with me, maybe cry with me a little too. We’re in this together, babes.

Show Notes:

The Harms Are Cumulative. Your Overwhelm Is the Goal. Let’s Get Unstuck - Paul T Shattuck, MSW, PhD

Stay Human: 80 Tiny Moves for Everyday Resistance in the Authoritarian Harm Complex - Paul T Shattuck, MSW, PhD

Paul's Substack

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Episode 53: Hey y’all 💛 I am beyond excited to share this juicy episode with you because we are going all in on a topic I feel SO passionate about—what actually makes a marriage GREAT. Not “fine,” not “meh,” not “just surviving”—but truly great. ✨

In this episode, I take you behind the scenes of my own love story 💕, share how my definition of a great marriage has radically changed, and break down what I believe is actually required for a deeply connected, life-giving relationship.

We're diving into: 💡 Why emotional adulthood is non-negotiable 🛡️ What it means to be a “secure base” for each other 🧠 How trauma, codependency, and attachment styles affect our marriages 📉 Common myths we’ve all been fed (like “staying no matter what” equals success—nope!) 🔥 The difference between surviving a marriage vs. thriving in one

PLUS—I spill the tea on the real work my partner Joe and I have done to build the kind of connection I used to dream about 🌈.

This episode is a rallying cry to stop settling, start being radically honest with yourself, and dream bigger when it comes to love. You deserve a relationship that helps you soar—not one that holds you back.

💻 Don’t forget to check the show notes for links to my newly refreshed website (hello, branding glow-up!), past episodes that connect with this one, and where to watch the pod on YouTube (yes, VIDEO is here! 🎥).

🧠💗🔥 This one’s a game changer. Let it land. Come back to it. And most of all—know that you’re worthy of a love that feels like home.

Show Notes:

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents - Lindsay C. Gibson

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find--and Keep--Love - Amir Levine

YouTube Episodes That Relate: 

Episode 4: The 50-Year Marriage Myth 💍 | Time Doesn’t Equal Success

Episode 7: Guilt Is Keeping You Stuck—Here’s How to Break Free

Episode 12: Understanding Your Attachment Style Can Change Everything

Episode 16: True Love or Trauma Bond? How to Tell the Difference 💛

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Episode 52:🔥 Buckle up, babes! In this raw and radically honest episode, I’m teaming up with my soul sister Quinn for a full-on, no-holds-barred intimacy chat. We're diving DEEP into the orgasm gap, the tragedy of hetero sex myths, and what it really means to reclaim your body and your pleasure—especially after divorce. 💦

We’re pulling back the curtain on everything we were never taught to talk about—from painful sex and religious shame to mind-blowing orgasms and the freedom that comes with saying “I deserve more.” 💥 This one’s juicy, unfiltered, and straight from the heart—and yes, the fireworks were literally going off in the background. 🎆 (You’ll see what I mean! 😂)

Whether you're considering leaving your marriage, already divorced, or just feeling disconnected from your own pleasure, this conversation is a permission slip to put YOUR desires at the center. 💖

We talk: ✨ The orgasm gap (and why it’s so damn real) ✨ What makes sex worth having (spoiler: it’s not a hard dick) ✨ Religious and cultural programming that’s kept us silent ✨ The power of community in healing and reclaiming pleasure ✨ And why post-divorce sex can be the best sex of your life 🙌

This is the sex talk we all deserved but never got. You ready? Let’s go. 💋

Show Notes: 

The Post-Divorce Glow-Up Show - Quinn Otrera

Vitamin O: Get Yourself Off, Get Your Life Back - The Post-Divorce Glow-Up Show

The Tragedy of Heterosexuality - Jane Ward

Vitamin O: Why Orgasms are Vital to a Woman's Health and Happiness, and How to Have Them Every Time! - Natasha Janina Valdez

Do Straight Women Really Exist? - The Cut

Maria - Dua Lipa 

Dying for Sex

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