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In this episode, I sit down with a woman from inside the Stay or Go community whose journey reveals something many of us quietly wrestle with.

This is not a story about a bad marriage. It is a story about what happens when “good enough” is no longer enough.

We explore what it looks like to stop abandoning yourself. To name what you truly want, even when you are not sure what it will cost. And to fully consider leaving, not as a threat, but as an act of integrity.

At the center of this conversation is a powerful paradox.

The belief so many women carry is that if we stay, we are settling, and if we go, we are failing. But what if the real work is not in the decision, but in the expansion that comes from telling the truth?

Through her story, you will hear what it means to face that moment. The fear, the grief, the clarity. And how choosing herself became the catalyst for a completely different kind of relationship to emerge.

Not a return to what was, but the possibility of something new.

This episode is not about staying or going.

It is about becoming the woman who can trust herself enough to choose. ✨

Show Notes

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Episode 101: Today I talk about the deeper reality women are waking up to when it comes to marriage, the systems we’ve been living inside of, and the quiet cost of self-abandonment that so many of us were taught to normalize. And I name the double bind that keeps so many women stuck. The place where choosing yourself means losing love, and staying means losing yourself.

At the heart of this episode is something I’ve been building behind the scenes this year. A framework I’m calling CORE. Not as another set of tools to try, but as a way to slow down, get grounded, and actually understand what’s happening beneath the surface so you can stop spinning and start seeing clearly.

We begin with connection.

Not to your partner, but to yourself.

I talk about what it really means to have self-connection that is steady enough to hold when things get hard. When there is disapproval. When there is loss. When the life you’ve built no longer fits.

Because whether you stay or go, this is the foundation everything rests on.

And through the lens of Wicked, I explore what it looks like to choose yourself when it costs you something. To step out of conditional love. To face the grief of becoming someone who can no longer go back to who she was.

If you are in that in-between space, where something inside you has shifted but you don’t yet know what comes next, this episode will meet you there.

Not with answers.

But with grounding, clarity, and a deeper return to yourself.

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

She said, “I’m No One’s Favorite Person” - Substack Post

“The Men Are Not All Right”...Right? - Diabolical Lies Podcast

Episode 65: “What You Were Promised” — The History and Hidden Design of Straight Marriage With Quinn Otrera - Part 1

Episode 66: "The Cost of the Lie": Why You Feel Numb, Lonely, and Like You’re Too Much in This System With Quinn Otrera - Part 2

Strong Ground - Brene Brown

The Tragedy of Heterosexuality - Jane Ward

Louis Theroux: Inside the Manosphere - Netflix Documentary

Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey - Netflix Documentary

Wicked - Movie

Wicked: For Good - Movie

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Episode 100: This 100th episode is a celebration, yes, but it is also something deeper.

In it I reflect on what it means to reach this milestone and on the woman I have become in the process of creating this podcast. What started as a small spark during one of the hardest seasons of my life has grown into something that has not only supported other women, but has changed me too.

At the heart of this episode is also a question I have been sitting with lately. What do we do with the pain we have lived through? Do we let it harden us, or do we let it deepen us?

Through two very different experiences, one painful and one tender, I talk about what it means to be with our own fear, grief, and hurt instead of projecting it onto everyone around us. I talk about emotional maturity, self-resourcing, and the kind of self-love that is not performative, but rooted in staying with ourselves in the hardest places.

If you are considering divorce, this matters. Because so much of what keeps us stuck is not just the relationship itself, but the emotional patterns underneath it. And so much of healing is learning how to hold your own inner world with honesty and care.

This episode is really about transmuting darkness. About choosing, again and again, to let what has hurt you become a source of compassion, clarity, and truth rather than something you pass on.

And in that way, this episode feels like the heart of what these 100 episodes have always been about.

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

For Better or For Worse: Divorce Reconsidered - E. Mavis Hetherington Ph.D

Claude AI

Script for Jungian dream interpretation:

Hello Claude! I've done Jungian dream interpretation with a psychiatrist before who took me step-by-step through each aspect of the dream, one at one at a time, asking questions and getting details along the way and really slowing the process down. I'd like to have you do the same with me and the dream I'm about to share with you please. (copy and paste dream here and then submit )

The Muse Tarot - Chris-Anne

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Episode 99: This week, I’m joined by the incredible Vanessa Kulick Price for a conversation that goes straight to the heart of what so many women are living through beneath the surface of divorce.

We talk about childhood trauma, grief, alcoholism, sobriety, motherhood, narcissistic dynamics, and the long process of learning how to come home to yourself. Vanessa shares so beautifully about what it means to finally name what is happening, to trust your own experience, and to begin building a life that feels deeply true from the inside out.

What I loved most about this conversation is how honest it is. This is not a polished story about healing. It is real, tender, hard won, and full of wisdom. We talk about the parallels between restoring land, restoring a home, and restoring yourself after years of disconnection. We talk about self-love, boundaries, and the slow, powerful work of regeneration.

This episode is for the woman who knows something is not right, even if she cannot fully name it yet. It is for the woman who is learning to trust herself again. And it is a reminder that a life on the other side of survival is possible. A life with more peace, more truth, and more of you in it.

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Vanessa’s Substack

Some of Britta’s Favorite Posts:

Slow down, Simplify and Invite Spaciousness

I Built an LLC—And a Life I’m Still Reaching Toward

The Gift of a Home

A House Update: Heat, Trust, and Beaver Medicine

Jenny Ray

Sky, Hawk, Horse and Stone: Rediscovering Self by Reconnecting to Earth’s Ancient Medicines

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Episode 98: This week, I want to talk about something that sits underneath almost every conversation I have with women who are considering divorce. It’s the question beneath the question.

Not just should I stay or go, but something deeper.Can I trust myself?

So many women come into this space looking for certainty. They want to know they’re not overreacting. They want reassurance they’re not making a mistake. They want someone to tell them what the right decision is.

But underneath all of that is the deeper ache of feeling disconnected from their own knowing.

In this episode, I talk about why self-trust can feel so hard, especially when many of us were taught from a young age to look outside ourselves for answers. When you’re in the middle of a life transition like this, it can feel like being out in the middle of the ocean during a storm. There’s no clear map. No solid ground. Just the question of whether you can trust the voice inside you.

I share the three things I’ve seen make the biggest difference in helping women rebuild that trust. Community that reflects you back to yourself. A deeper relationship with your intuition and the unseen. And the kind of knowledge that doesn’t just give you information, but helps you finally understand what you’re experiencing.

This episode isn’t about giving you the answer to whether you should stay or go. It’s about something much more powerful than that.

It’s about helping you remember that the voice inside you is worth listening to. And that self-trust is something you can rebuild, one step at a time. 🤍

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Episode 50: You Can’t Logic Your Way Out of a Marriage (And What to Do Instead)

Sisterhood of the Seers Oracle – Athena Laz

The Muse Tarot: A 78-Card Deck & Guidebook - Chris-Anne

The Cosmic Crossroads Oracle - Amanda Lynn Aisling

The Hero’s Journey Dream Oracle - Kelly Sullivan Walden

The Wild Unknown Decks – Kim Krans

The Light Seer’s Tarot – Chris-Anne

Man and His Symbols – Carl Jung

Jungian Dream Interpretation Tool

Diabolical Lies Podcast

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Episode 97: This week’s episode goes straight to the heart of something many of you are living inside, even if you’ve never named it.

Is this my fate? Or do I actually have a say in what happens next?

If you’re considering divorce, you already know the weight of that question. The feeling that this decision will ripple through everything. Your children. Your future. The story of your life. It can feel predetermined, almost inevitable. Like this is just how it turned out.

In this episode, I unpack the difference between fate and destiny in the way I’ve come to understand them through my own life and my work with women.

Fate, to me, is what happens when we live unconsciously. When trauma stays buried. When old attachment wounds and survival strategies quietly organize our choices from the background. It’s the repetition that feels eerie and familiar. The same loneliness. The same power dynamics. The same feeling of not being enough. Different faces, same pattern.

Destiny is something very different. It is not toxic positivity. It is not “just manifest harder.” And it is not a rigid script you are required to follow.

Destiny is what begins to unfold when you start making the unconscious conscious. When you name your patterns. When you stop normalizing what hurts. When you reclaim your authority from systems, partners, parents, and even old versions of yourself.

I walk through three essential nuances that matter deeply in this conversation: trauma complicates free will, not everything is self-created, and fate most often shows up as repetition compulsion. If you have ever wondered why you “chose” something that now makes you unhappy, this will land.

And if you are asking yourself whether to stay or go, I want you to hear this: the deepest question is not just what you will choose. It is how awake you are inside the choosing.

Destiny might mean repairing your marriage with brutal honesty. It might mean leaving with that same level of consciousness. The outcome is not the point. The point is whether you are repeating from old wounds or responding from integration.

This episode is an invitation to stop living on autopilot and to start participating in your own becoming.

Take a breath. Let it meet you where you are.

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

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I’m sitting down with “Jane,” a woman I’ve had the honor of walking alongside inside the Stay or Go community for over a year as she considered, wrestled with, and ultimately chose divorce. I watched her do this work in real time. Not in a dramatic, blow-it-all-up way. In a slow, honest, deeply courageous way.

Jane is divorcing what most people would call a “good guy.”

No addiction. No affair. No obvious villain. From the outside, her marriage looked fine. Maybe even better than fine. And yet inside, she felt alone. Unseen. Disconnected from her own body. Her libido had disappeared. Her nervous system was frayed. She was carrying the emotional weight of the relationship while trying to convince herself it wasn’t “bad enough” to leave.

We talk about what happens when a woman begins to speak up and how that alone can disrupt entire family systems. We talk about sexual coercion inside marriage and how easily it gets normalized. We talk about the terrifying moment when you realize you’re the only one truly doing the work. And we talk about integration, the long stretch between knowing something in your bones and being ready to act on it.

Jane shares the flashpoint that shifted everything. The year and a half of deep identity work that followed. The escalation that can happen when you finally say the words out loud. And the unexpected peace of lying on the floor of your own place for the first time, realizing your body can finally exhale.

What I love most about this conversation is how honest it is. There’s no clean arc. No instant certainty. Just a woman slowly disentangling herself from systems that were never built to support her and choosing alignment over appearance.

If you’re in a marriage that looks acceptable on paper but feels hollow in your body, this one is for you.

In Jane’s words, and I could not agree more:

You can do this.

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨

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Episode 95: I had the opportunity to sit down live with my dear friend, Chandra Zas, to talk about her chapters in The Handbook for Human Potential. And while at first glance this might seem like a departure from our usual stay-or-go conversations, it is anything but.

Because before you can make a clear decision about your marriage, you have to rebuild trust with yourself.

So many of us have been trained to override our bodies. We override exhaustion. We override sadness. We override anger. We override our no. We override our intuition. And then, standing at one of the most consequential crossroads of our lives, we expect clarity to magically appear.

Of course it feels like chaos.

In this episode, we explore what it means to come home to your body in a grounded, practical way. We talk about early conditioning and shame. About how coping behaviors are often attempts at soothing a dysregulated nervous system. About the difference between demands and requests, and how that shift alone can transform the emotional architecture of our relationships.

At its core, this conversation is about embodiment. About understanding that self-trust is not built through analysis alone, but through learning to feel and respond to your own internal signals with respect.

If you are navigating uncertainty, especially around divorce, this episode invites you to slow down. To return to the foundation beneath the decision. To rebuild the connection that makes any choice — stay or go — something you can stand behind with steadiness.

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Chandra’s Website

Handbook for Human Potential: An Accessible Guide to Personal Growth - Chandra Zas, Britta Jo and Others

Chandra Zas’s chapters: Chapter 0 and Chapter 10

Handbook for Human Potential Amazon reviews

No Bad Kids - Janet Lansbury

Nonviolent Communication - Marshall B. Rosenberg PhD

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Episode 94: In this episode, I start by inviting us to slow down together. I recorded this on February 8, 2026, and I could feel how loud life has been lately. Instead of showing up with a tidy bow and a perfect lesson, I let this be a real conversation between me and you. A place to breathe, to soften, and to tell the truth about what it feels like when your inner world is rearranging itself.

Because today we are talking about falling apart, and why it might be the most honest thing your soul has ever done.

I’m introducing you to a concept I just found this week and immediately knew I needed to bring to you: positive disintegration. The kind of breakdown that isn’t a failure, but a signal. A sign that the strategies you used to survive, the roles you learned to play, and the fantasies you clung to are no longer able to hold back what you already know in your bones. In other words, it’s not that you are breaking. It’s that your denial is breaking. And something truer is trying to come through.

We talk about why our culture fears endings, grief, and death, and how that fear shows up psychologically when we’re in the crucible of change, especially when you’re considering divorce. I connect this to the life-death-life cycle, to the way nature does this without apologizing, and to the brutal tenderness of becoming. If you’ve been feeling heavy, depressed, anxious, or stuck, I want you to hear this clearly: those feelings do not automatically mean you’re doing it wrong. Sometimes they mean you’re finally doing it right.

I also share one of my favorite images for this process: the butterfly becoming the goo. That disorienting, humiliating, sacred middle. The place where you cannot go back to who you were, but you cannot yet see who you’re becoming. If you’re there right now, you are not behind. You are not broken. You are in the chrysalis.

And I bring in two powerful texts that help us name what we’re living: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and Women Who Run with the Wolves. We talk about Skeleton Woman, Lady Death, and what it means to stop throwing the parts of ourselves we fear off the cliff. We talk about building a foundation that can hold you through the unraveling, not by rushing to fix the feelings, but by staying with yourself inside them.

If you’re in that tender, terrifying season where everything you built your life on feels shaky, this episode is for you. It’s a reminder that the breakdown might not be the end of your story. It might be the beginning of your true self returning. 🤍

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Live interview with Chandra Zas - Tuesday Feb 17th • 2pm PT, 4 pm CST, 5 pm EST

(Use this link if the one above doesn’t work- https://youtube.com/live/2DiSl3ZyV3M)

What happens when you stop overriding your body… and start listening instead?

In this live conversation, Britta interviews Chandra on Chapter 0 of Handbook for Human Potential — a chapter that opens the doorway to body wisdom, emotional truth, and coming home to yourself.

Join our book newsletter to stay in the loop: https://handbookforhumanpotential.com

And buy the book if you haven’t yet! Handbook for Human Potential by Chandra Zas, Britta Jo and others

https://Chandrazas.com

Suggested prep for next episode: Read Chandra’s chapter 0 - “Come Home to Your Body Wisdom”

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson

Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés

From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death by Caitlin Doughty

Considering Divorce? Understand the Life-Death-Life Cycle First

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Episode 93: In this episode, I sit down with Demetria Graves, a certified family law specialist and founder of the Graves Law Firm, for a conversation I have wanted to have for a long time. Demetria has spent over two decades guiding families through divorce with clarity, integrity, and a deep respect for what this moment costs people emotionally and financially. Together, we pull back the curtain on what the legal system actually cares about and what it does not, and why so many women unknowingly pay a steep price for staying stuck in indecision.

We talk candidly about the myths that keep women frozen. The belief that staying is safer. The hope that being patient or accommodating will somehow protect you. The assumption that the court will reward sacrifice or take emotional context into account. Demetria explains why none of that is true, and how time, lack of information, and emotional overwhelm can quietly work against women, especially high earners, stay at home mothers, and those who have stepped away from the workforce. This is a grounded, no nonsense look at how money, custody, support, and preparation really function behind the scenes.

This episode is not about pushing anyone toward divorce. It is about telling the truth. The truth that divorce is a business process layered on top of one of the most emotional experiences of your life. The truth that clarity is power. And the truth that the longer you avoid looking at the facts, the more agency you often lose. If you are in the space of “I am not ready yet” or “I just need more time,” this conversation is an invitation to ask yourself what that time is truly costing you. 🤍

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Legally Uncensored Podcast - Find Part 1 here

When Women Run The Firm: How to successfully launch and manage your law practice with confidence - Demetria Graves

Demetria’s Instagram

Legally Uncensored Instagram

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