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After hosting our first Stay or Go retreat, I sat down with my best friend and behind-the-scenes soul-sister, Quinn, to unpack what we experienced and what it revealed about the kind of connection women are craving, now more than ever.

This episode is not just a reflection on one powerful weekend. It’s an invitation to consider what becomes possible when we stop trying to do life alone. We talk about the difference between performative connection and the kind that regulates your nervous system, that lets you exhale, that reminds you you’re not too much and never have been. It’s the kind of connection that arises when women come together in spaces where there’s no power-over, no fixing, and no pressure to perform.

We explore the grief that often comes with disconnection—even the disconnections we choose, like divorce or estrangement and how the pain isn’t always about getting it wrong, but about being wired for attachment in a world that has taught us to suppress it. We speak to the cultural systems—patriarchy, capitalism, hyper-individualism—that have stripped women of the community they’re built for, and what it means to reclaim that.

Whether you’re still in your marriage, already out, or just beginning to whisper the question—this conversation is for the woman who’s tired of white-knuckling her way through life. It’s for the woman who’s ready to be witnessed, to be held, to be reminded that connection isn’t a bonus. It’s essential. And it’s waiting for you.

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Strong Ground - Brene Brown

The Rise & Fall of Capitalism - Diabolical Lies

Instagram Reel

Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community. - Surgeon General’s Advisory

Doing Almost Anything is Better With Friends, Research Finds - Washington Post

Davis AJ, Crittenden B, Cohen E. Effects of social support on performance outputs and perceived difficulty during physical exercise. Physiol Behav. 2021 Oct 1;239:113490. doi: 10.1016/j.physbeh.2021.113490. Epub 2021 Jun 15. PMID: 34139269.

The role of social support and social identification in challenge and threat, perceived stress, and life satisfaction. Jamie C. Gillman, Martin J. Turner, Matthew J. Slater

First published: 11 July 2024 https://doi.org/10.1111/spc3.12982

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This episode is the culmination of a three-part exploration into one of the most emotionally tangled questions I see women face: Should I stay, or is it okay to leave... even if he’s a good man?

If you haven’t read the two preceding articles on Substack, I urge you to begin there. Those pieces lay the emotional and historical groundwork for what we’re unraveling here.

In today’s conversation, I shift into a different energy—one of empathy, nuance, and quiet truth-telling. This is the softer side of the good guy dilemma. Less fire, more warmth. Because I know what it’s like to be caught in that mental and emotional spin. I lived it. And I know how isolating and confusing it can be when the relationship looks enviable from the outside, but on the inside, something in you feels like it’s slowly dying.

Together, we dive into the subtle, and not-so-subtle, ways that codependency, patriarchal programming, and inherited narratives shape how we think about partnership, sacrifice, and what we’re allowed to want. I walk you through four major thought patterns that keep women stuck in indecision, and I gently challenge the beliefs that whisper, “You’re selfish,” or “You’re asking for too much.”

But most of all, this episode is an offering of grounding. Of helping you see your thoughts for what they are—just thoughts—and giving you tools to start rewriting your story from a place of self-love and personal truth.

We talk about grief. We talk about discomfort. We talk about how to hold the reality that he might be a “good guy” and not the right fit for the life you feel called toward. And I share what ultimately helped me untangle my own knot of guilt, fear, and hope years ago.

This is not about telling you what to do. It’s about helping you get clear enough to choose—truly choose—for yourself.

So if you’re in the middle of this dilemma, come sit with me. Let’s sift through the noise together.

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Why I Wish Every Woman Getting a Divorce was Divorcing “The Good Guy”

The Paradox (and Privilege) of Divorcing “The Good Guy”

Untamed - Glennon Doyle

“Descansos” Chapter 12 - Marking Territory: The Boundaries of Rage & Forgiveness - Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype - Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Inside Out

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This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stayorgo.substack.com/subscribe

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It’s been six years since I made one of the hardest decision of my life and walked away from my marriage. I didn’t have a roadmap. I didn’t know what the future would hold. I only knew that the life I was living no longer reflected who I truly was.

This week, I’m honoring what I now call my Divorceversary by sharing the seven most unexpected truths that have unfolded since that day. Some of them are painful. Some are quietly miraculous. All of them have shaped me in ways I couldn’t have imagined.

I open up about the raw financial realities of rebuilding after divorce and the crazy turn of events that led to me keeping my home when I was sure I wouldn’t. I speak honestly about the moment I lost myself in an abusive relationship again—even after leaving. And I celebrate the parts of my life that have bloomed in ways I didn’t know were possible, including the healing of my relationship with my body, my sexuality, and the kind of love I never thought I’d get to live with each and every day now.

This episode is for every woman who is wondering what might happen if she chooses herself. It is a reflection on what it means to lose the life you thought you were supposed to have and discover the life that was waiting for you all along.

It’s not a perfect journey. But it’s real. And more than anything, it’s yours to write.

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Download the Substack App

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫

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In this unedited bonus episode, I share the dissonance of being dropped into an old mental and emotional room I once lived in every day, and the profound relief of realizing: I don’t live there anymore.

I’ll talk about what real love looks like when it’s rooted in autonomy, not control. I share the journal entry that grounded me back in the life I’ve built—one full of peace, connection, and agency. And I offer this episode as a mirror for those of you who still find yourselves living in rooms that don’t feel safe, hoping it helps you catch the vision of what's possible.

This is a clarion call from the other side: your reality can change.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit stayorgo.substack.com

This might be the most personal, profound episode I’ve recorded yet. If you’ve ever found yourself swinging between moments of calm clarity and then suddenly feeling overwhelmed by hopelessness, confusion or dread, you are not alone. You may be experiencing complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD), and understanding that can change everything.

In this episode, I expand on a concept I first introduced in Episode 60 — the "rooms" in our internal psychological mansion — and finally answer the two big questions I left hanging. How do we end up in these rooms? And how do we actually work with those parts of ourselves and begin to heal?

You'll hear three very real flashback experiences from my own life. I walk you through how I knew I was in a flashback, what it looked like, and the exact tools I used to come back to myself. From breathwork and somatic grounding to a powerful EFT tapping practice (yes, with help from ChatGPT — and yes, I’m sharing the full protocol with my paid Substack subscribers), this episode is packed with what actually works. 🧘‍♀️✨

We also talk about what it means to be in a relationship when you have CPTSD — and why one of the most important parts of your stay-or-go decision might be whether your partner can help you regulate or if they’re the one triggering your flashbacks.

This episode is an invitation to stop thinking of yourself as broken and start recognizing what’s really happening inside your body and mind. You are not your rooms. You can learn to step out of them and return to the grounded, whole, connected version of yourself. 💛

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Download the Substack App

Episode 60 - Rooms We've Inherited + Summer of Transformation

Episode 11 - Unmanaged Complex PTSD: How It Affects Your Life & Relationships

Episode 24 - Feel First, Decide Later: Emotions as the Key to Divorce Clarity - Part 2

Complex PTSD: From Surviving To Thriving - Pete Walker

No Bad Parts - Robert Schwartz

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫

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This week, Quinn and I return for one of our most raw, personal conversations yet. If last week was about divorcing a “good guy,” this episode is about the harder truth: what happens when the man you married becomes an unpredictable, even unsafe, co-parent?

Quinn opens up about her post-divorce reality—one that began with hopes of peaceful co-parenting and shared holidays, and ended in CPS reports, protective orders, and having to reckon with a parenting plan that only worked on paper. We talk through what it really looks like when you can’t control your ex… and what to do when your worst fears start playing out in real time.

This one is for every woman who has lived as the buffer—protecting her children from the volatility of their father—and is now wondering how to keep them safe when she’s no longer in the house.

We explore:

✨ How to separate real risk from trauma-fueled fear🛠️ Equipping your kids to advocate for themselves when you can't be there⚖️ Working with (and around) the legal system—without letting it run your life💔 Grieving the co-parenting fantasy you once believed was possible📉 Letting go of the illusion of control (even over the story your kids will tell)🔥 The shame of “how did I choose this person?”—and how to metabolize it🧠 Why your sanity—not your sacrifice—is the most essential gift you can give your children📚 The lifelong skill of rewriting your story and modeling that for your kids

This is not an episode about perfection or conscious uncoupling. It’s about the truth: the painful, beautiful, messy, liberating truth. And what’s possible when you stop spinning in fantasy, face reality, and reclaim your power.

You’re not alone in this. And it is survivable. Come listen.

Show Notes

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Download the Substack App

Post-Divorce Glow-Up Show Spotify

Post-Divorce Glow-Up Show Apple

Email for questions: [email protected]

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫

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I sat down with my bestie Quinn to unpack one of the biggest emotional hurdles so many of us face but rarely speak out loud: What do I do with the heartbreak of not having my kids with me all the time?

This two-part episode was sparked by a powerful listener email that stopped me in my tracks. She put into words the raw grief and fear that can hit you hard when you imagine your children living part of their lives without you… especially when you don’t fully trust the other parent.

Quinn and I come at this from very different mothering frameworks — and y’all, the magic is in that contrast. Together, we dig into:

* 🧠 Why that gut-wrenching pain isn’t just biology — it’s cultural, generational, and deeply conditioned

* 👩‍👦‍👦 What emotional adulthood really looks like when your kids are with their other parent

* 💌 Tender rituals to stay connected without handing your emotional regulation over to your kids

* 🧳 Practical tools for transitions, co-regulation, and redefining what motherhood looks like in two homes

* 🎢 The surprising gifts of shared custody (yes, they exist!), including how it builds resilience in your kids

* 🧘‍♀️ Nervous system regulation when the ache hits (“I miss them so much it hurts”)

* 📖 Redefining “good mom” energy — from martyrdom to sovereignty and self-trust

* 🔁 Reframing that double bind: Stay and suffer? Go and lose time? Nope, babe. There is a third way.

I also get really real about what this has looked like in my life — including the process this year of my oldest son wanting to live primarily with his dad and what it took to accept and facilitate that. It wasn’t easy, and I’m still processing as we go, but I share some around how I managed my mind and found a way to anchor myself in the long game.

Whether you’re navigating shared custody, trying to reclaim your identity beyond motherhood, or just feeling the weight of missing your kids — these episodes are for you.

✨ Part 2 of this conversation, dropping next week, is available exclusively to my paid subscribers on Substack! So if you haven’t signed up yet, head to the show notes to join us there. This is the kind of work that changes lives — yours and your children’s 💌🌱.

Show Notes

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Download the Substack App

Post-Divorce Glow-Up Show Spotify

Post-Divorce Glow-Up Show Apple

Email for questions: [email protected]

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫

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Episode 72: Y’all… this episode is a BIG one! 🎉✨ The anticipation has been real, and I’m finally sharing all the juicy details about the podcast’s move to Substack—plus, a chance for YOU to win a free 90-minute coaching session with me! 🎁🔥

But let’s be real—this episode is about so much more than a platform shift. This is a deep dive into something that’s been transforming my life: RECEIVING. 💌

I’m talking about how hard, uncomfortable, and even vulnerable it can be to receive love, support, help, praise—and why it’s absolutely essential if you're going to become the woman you’re meant to be. Especially for those of you stuck in caretaker roles, exhausted from constantly pouring out without ever being poured into… this episode is your wake-up call. 🛑💡

We unpack why patriarchy has stolen women’s ability to receive, what happens when we start reclaiming it, and how receiving isn't just some fluffy self-care vibe—it's RADICAL and NECESSARY. 💥💪

And, in a moment that had me fully practicing what I preach, I read your beautiful listener emails aloud. 🥹💖 I let myself receive your gratitude, your love, and your stories—and babes, it was a full-body experience. Vulnerable as hell and SO powerful.

Then, of course, I walk you through what Substack is, why I’m moving there, and how this shift is deeply aligned with my next evolution—more connection, more intention, more YOU. 💫

👀 Don’t miss the deets on how to subscribe (there’s even a founding member option for my legacy-building babes 🙌) and how to enter the 90-minute coaching giveaway!

So if you’ve been feeling worn out, unseen, or like your needs have been pushed to the backburner for way too long… this is your episode. 🎙️💥

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Download the Substack App 

Email for questions: [email protected]

Dying for Sex - Hulu

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨
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Episode 71: Hey babes 💛 This one poured out of me on a Friday night with dusk falling outside my window 🌅 because I couldn’t not record it. This episode is my full-body YES to the truth that the life you want most? It's not only possible—it’s happening faster than ever before 🚀💥

I’m opening the door and letting you peek into a totally ordinary, magical day in my life—one I never would’ve dreamed was possible back when I was considering divorce. You’ll hear about everything from flashbacks and Five Guys 🍔 to tarot cards and raising our black cat baby 🐈‍⬛ with Joe, and how I’ve built a life that feels like me in all the right ways.

I’ll also share the stories of two beautiful women, one client and one new community member, who reminded me just how brave, powerful, and world-changing this path is when we start choosing ourselves first 💖

PLUS I’ll let you in on a big shift coming to the podcast 👀 (no more cliffhangers, I promise!) and how we’re building something so much bigger than just our own healing. It’s a movement, and I’m honored to be in it with you 🙏🔥

Whether you're in the thick of deciding, knee-deep in grief, or just catching glimpses of your power again, I want you to know: you’re not crazy, you’re not alone, and the life you want most is already whispering your name ✨

Let’s dive in, babes 🧡

Show Notes:

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨
Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️
Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 

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Episode 70: Hey babe 💛—whether you’re out walking, driving, curled up in bed, this one’s for you.

In this week’s episode, I’m sharing the story of my own “roadside test” last week—when my middle son broke his arm at football practice—and the big wake-up it gave me about what happens when we ignore the check engine lights in our lives. 🚨 From cars to life to marriages, those little warning lights are trying to tell us something… and pretending they’re not there doesn’t make them go away.

We’re talking:

💪 Why it’s time to stop waiting for the breakdown before we take action.
👩‍🔧 The four truths that came out of my own roadside test (and how they’ll help you avoid your own desert breakdown).
💔 How fear keeps us stuck—and why nobody is coming to turn off that light for you.
🌍 Why today’s political and cultural climate makes this work more important than ever.
💖 How to create a life (and relationships) that feel steady, supported, and ready for whatever detours lie ahead.

This is part rallying cry, part heart-to-heart, and part practical “get under the hood” moment. You’ll walk away with a loving push to handle what’s asking for your attention—so that when life throws the next roadside test at you, you’re not running on fumes.

So, deep breath, big girl panties (or not—your choice, babe 😏), and let’s get into it. You’ve got this. 💛

Show Notes:

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨

Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️

Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 

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