Welcome to 2026, my loves. I’m starting this year with one of the most personal and tender episodes I’ve ever shared. In Part One of this two-part series, I’m opening the door to my recent ADHD diagnosis—how it reframed not just the last few years, but the landscape of my entire life.

This isn’t just an episode about ADHD. It’s about the slow unraveling of shame. About finally understanding why therapy, coaching, somatic work—even with all the growth they gave me—could never quite reach the black box of suffering I carried. It’s about the enormous relief that comes when you realize: the problem was never that you weren’t trying hard enough. The problem was that no one ever gave you the right map.

I walk through the traits of adult ADHD that have shifted how I parent, how I relate, and how I see the intense emotional terrain I’ve spent a lifetime navigating. We’ll talk about rejection-sensitive dysphoria, overstimulation, emotional dysregulation, and the unseen labor of masking that so many women carry silently. I share how medication has begun to create space where there was none—allowing me to show up in my life with more steadiness, more self-compassion, and far less self-judgment.

Whether ADHD is something you’ve long suspected in yourself or something that’s never crossed your mind, I encourage you to listen. Especially if you’re a woman navigating huge decisions like divorce. Undiagnosed ADHD can shape our self-worth, our relationships, and our emotional bandwidth in ways we don’t always see. And when we don’t know it’s there, we so often internalize the pain as personal failure.

But you’re not failing. You’re just finally being seen.

This episode is my offering to anyone who’s ever looked around at their life and thought, “Why is this so hard?” May it give you language, permission, and a starting point for something softer, truer, and more whole.

So take a breath. Let’s begin this year not with resolutions, but with revelation.

Show Notes:

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Miss. Diagnosis: A Systematic Review of ADHD in Adult Women - Emma A. Climie

10 Things I Wish Everyone Knew About ADHD - I Have ADHD Podcast

A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD - Sari Solden and Michelle Frank

ADHD for Smart Ass Women - Tracy Otsuka

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving - Pete Walker

Strong Ground - Brené Brown

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Two days before Christmas can feel especially heavy when you are quietly considering divorce. The holidays have a way of magnifying everything: the grief, the pressure to perform, the old family dynamics, and the fear of being asked questions you are not ready to answer.

In this episode, I pull you in close with warmth and honesty. I share a story I had forgotten until I found it in my journals: a Christmas with my in-laws when something deeply personal about my faith journey was shared before I was ready. What followed was a long, well intentioned but deeply dysregulating family conversation that left me feeling exposed, overwhelmed, and pushed into the familiar role so many of us know well: explaining, caretaking, and managing everyone else’s emotions.

That experience brings us to the core message of this episode: you do not owe anyone answers.

Not about your marriage. Not about your timeline. Not about the parts of you that are still tender and unfolding. It is not your job to make your life make sense to other people, especially during the holidays when old patterns of people pleasing and codependency are at their loudest.

We talk about how these patterns tend to show up this time of year: staying with family even when it makes you feel trapped, overcommitting to keep the peace, avoiding alone time, overexplaining, staying quiet to avoid conflict, and prioritizing everyone else’s comfort while your own nervous system is stretched thin.

I offer language you can use when conversations turn invasive, along with permission to let others feel uncomfortable without rushing to fix it. We also spend time on nervous system support and practical ways to protect your peace, from creating small pockets of solitude to rethinking logistics like where you stay, how you travel, and how long you remain at gatherings.

Most of all, this episode is a reminder that you matter during the holidays. Your peace matters. You are allowed to choose yourself, even imperfectly, even quietly, even when it disappoints others. You do not have to explain your way into being understood. You are allowed to protect what is sacred while you are still becoming.

Show Notes:

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The Live Awake Podcast - Sarah Blondin

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In this conversation with my dear friend Quinn, we finally do what I wish someone had done for me all those years ago. We open the black box of divorce and lay the process out in a way that is human, honest, and actually useful. Not theory, not legal jargon, but the lived reality of two women who walked very different paths through the same fire.

Quinn’s journey into divorce was long and chronic, shaped by decades of Mormon conditioning and a lifetime of being told not to trust herself. Mine was sharper and more sudden, driven by depression, suicidal ideation, and the painful awakening that I wasn’t broken, the systems around me were. Together we unravel how religious, cultural, and patriarchal messaging keeps women trapped in self‑blame and confusion long past the point where something in their soul knows the truth.

From there we walk step‑by‑step through the process itself. Trial separations, the moment you know, the strategy required before you tell him, the emotional whiplash of filing, and in my case, the shock of living under the same roof after the divorce was underway. We talk temporary orders, discovery, mediation, attorneys who fight for you, and the strange mix of grief and relief that comes as the legal structure finally begins to take shape.

And then Quinn offers what most people never get to hear. What happens after the decree is signed. What happens when an ex refuses to follow orders. What happens when you need legal protection. What it is like to work with the courts, child protective services, school counselors, and low‑cost legal aid. What it looks like to slowly build a self so solid that you no longer bend to chaos but meet it with clarity and consequence.

This episode is not about telling you whether to stay or go. It is about turning on the lights so you can stop imagining monsters and start seeing the terrain for what it truly is. If divorce has felt like a void you are terrified to step into, I want this conversation to feel like a hand on your back saying, You can do this. You can learn. You can prepare. You can choose the life that calls to you.

Your life, your story, and your safety matter. And you do not have to walk this part alone.

Show Notes:

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Episode 86: Ohhhh my loves — this one’s a biggie. 💥 What started as a simple question from one of my beautiful Substack subscribers turned into something so much deeper. In this episode, I finally give the practice of journaling the spotlight it deserves. Not the surface-level, “dear diary” kind of journaling. I’m talking about the real thing. The gritty, raw, healing kind. The kind that has quietly become one of the most sacred tools in my own self-resourcing practice — and one of the top ways I’ve built secure attachment with myself over the past eight years.

This episode is both a personal excavation and a love letter. I talk about what’s been stirring in me lately — the speed of change in our world, the collective instability so many of us are feeling, and why now, more than ever, we need to be able to trust ourselves. Not in some performative, “I’ve got this” kind of way — but in a deep, anchored, soul-level way.

And that’s what journaling can offer when we use it intentionally.

You’ll hear me break down the four journaling styles I’ve organically developed: Growth Documentation, Pep Talks, Brain Dump Dialogues (y’all… this one 👀), and Higher Self Channeling. Each one serves a different purpose depending on where I am emotionally or energetically — and each has played a massive role in helping me show up for myself, especially when the outside world feels anything but steady.

And for my paid Substack crew, I’ve included a gorgeous PDF (because we know we love a tangible tool 💌) that walks you through each style with starter prompts, tips, and even real-life photos from my journals.

Whether you’re in the depths of the considering process or simply craving a deeper connection with yourself, this episode is my holiday gift to you. May it help you remember that no matter what’s unfolding around you, you are your own safe place.

Show Notes:

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Handbook for Human Potential Links

Email list

WhatsApp Channel

Facebook Page

No Bad Parts - Richard Schwartz

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Episode 85: Okay, y’all. This episode has been building all month. After revisiting my journals, hosting powerful conversations in the community, listening to Olivia’s story, and sitting with a few seriously paradigm-shifting insights, I knew I needed to pull it all together and share where I’ve landed.

We’re talking narcissism, but not in the black-and-white, overused “therapy speak” way you’re seeing all over the internet. I’m breaking down the difference between actual narcissistic abuse and emotionally immature behavior that might be just subtle enough to keep you spinning. I introduce the continuum I developed this month—a framework that’s already shifting so much for the women in the community—and talk about how it’s helping us see both ourselves and our partners more clearly.

We also dig into the truth that many of you need most: sometimes someone’s “best” is just not enough for you. Period. And you don’t need a diagnosis to walk away.

So if you’ve ever caught yourself wondering, Is he a narcissist… or am I just overthinking everything? or if you’ve felt the weight of needing a “reason” to leave—this episode is for you 💥

You’ll leave with more clarity, a whole lot more compassion for yourself, and a deeper sense of what it really means to take your power back 🔥

Show Notes:

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Six Keys To Unlock Your Understanding of Narcissism - Substack Article

Are They Really a Narcissist? Do They Really Have Borderline? Are They Truly Gaslighting You? - Podcast Episode

They’re Not Gaslighting You - Isabelle Morley

The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family - Eleanor Payson

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Episode 84: In today’s episode, I sit down with “Olivia,” a woman I worked with one-on-one during the early days of her unraveling a 21-year marriage marked by deep narcissistic abuse. What unfolds in this conversation is one of the most raw, courageous, and unflinching portraits we’ve ever had on the podcast of what it means to wake up inside a marriage and realize: this isn’t love. Not the kind that sees you. Not the kind that holds you.

Together, we trace Olivia’s journey from the exhaustion and confusion of her lowest point—when the gaslighting and emotional manipulation were so constant, she barely recognized herself anymore—to the firestorm of her divorce and, ultimately, to the quiet, grounded peace she’s found on the other side.

She shares what it cost her to stay: the subtle erasure of her identity, her joy, her voice. She shares the moment she realized she was no longer standing up for her kids. And perhaps most importantly, she shares how she clawed her way back—learning to borrow hope, hold boundaries, and honor the wild, beautiful pulse of her own truth.

This episode is an offering for any woman who has doubted what she feels. For those who know something isn’t right but can’t yet name it. For those who are starting to see the cost of staying too long. If you’ve ever whispered to yourself, “I can’t do this anymore,” let Olivia’s story be a companion in the dark and a reminder: your freedom is real, and it is possible.

Show Notes:

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Awake - Jen Hatmaker

The Let Them Theory - Mel Robbins

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Episode 83: This week’s episode feels like opening a sealed box from a past lifetime and discovering not only who I was, but the quiet, determined woman I was becoming long before I could see her clearly. These final journal entries are some of the rawest I have ever shared. They move through the full terrain of my inner world during the months surrounding my separation and divorce, including the parts I still feel in my body when I read them.

Before we dive into those pages, I share a personal update that has been nothing short of life altering. Receiving an ADHD diagnosis as an adult, and recognizing its generational threads, has reorganized so much of my story. It has rewritten the way I see my mother, my own emotional landscape, and the compassion I now hold for the woman I was for so many years without a framework to understand herself. I speak about the transformative impact of discovering medication that finally supports my brain and the grief that comes with wondering what might have been possible for the women who came before me if they had been given the same tools.

From there, we return to the journals. These entries illuminate the beautiful, brutal truth that becoming the woman capable of changing her life is not a single choice but a thousand small ones. In one moment, I am standing in my closet realizing there is no one coming to save me and feeling the terror and power of that truth. In the next moment, I am coaching myself toward a different reality with nothing more than self compassion, deliberate awareness, and the willingness to choose again.

You will hear me navigate the shock of betrayal during my separation, the frightening escalation that often accompanies disentangling from a narcissistic dynamic, and the experience of sitting at a kitchen table telling my children our family was changing. These pages were written by a woman who was terrified, grieving, hopeful, and determined all at once. A woman who had no evidence that her future would turn out the way she dreamed, yet continued to write her way forward anyway.

And then, in the final entry, you will hear a voice that stunned even me when I found it again. A voice that knew without hesitation the life she was creating. A voice that listed out the future I am now living, long before I had the courage, stability, or clarity to imagine any of it realistically. Reading that list feels like witnessing my past self bless my present self, reminding me that soul calls never arrive empty. They carry the architecture of what is possible.

This episode is an invitation to honor your own unfolding in the same way. To see the patterns you are outgrowing, the chapters you are grieving, and the expansions you are already stepping into. To remember that every becoming is patterned with both collapse and creation. And that the you who is writing today’s entry may be the woman your future self thanks for changing everything.

If you are in the thick of it, please know you are not behind and you are not failing. You are mid‑chapter. You are in the woods. You are becoming.

And you are not alone. 💗

Show Notes:

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ADHD for Smart Ass Women - Tracy Otsuka

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This week’s episode feels like opening a sealed box from a past lifetime and discovering not only who I was, but the quiet, determined woman I was becoming long before I could see her clearly. These final journal entries are some of the rawest I have ever shared. They move through the full terrain of my inner world during the months surrounding my separation and divorce, including the parts I still feel in my body when I read them.

Before we dive into those pages, I share a personal update that has been nothing short of life altering. Receiving an ADHD diagnosis as an adult, and recognizing its generational threads, has reorganized so much of my story. It has rewritten the way I see my mother, my own emotional landscape, and the compassion I now hold for the woman I was for so many years without a framework to understand herself. I speak about the transformative impact of discovering medication that finally supports my brain and the grief that comes with wondering what might have been possible for the women who came before me if they had been given the same tools.

From there, we return to the journals. These entries illuminate the beautiful, brutal truth that becoming the woman capable of changing her life is not a single choice but a thousand small ones. In one moment, I am standing in my closet realizing there is no one coming to save me and feeling the terror and power of that truth. In the next moment, I am coaching myself toward a different reality with nothing more than self compassion, deliberate awareness, and the willingness to choose again.

You will hear me navigate the shock of betrayal during my separation, the frightening escalation that often accompanies disentangling from a narcissistic dynamic, and the experience of sitting at a kitchen table telling my children our family was changing. These pages were written by a woman who was terrified, grieving, hopeful, and determined all at once. A woman who had no evidence that her future would turn out the way she dreamed, yet continued to write her way forward anyway.

And then, in the final entry, you will hear a voice that stunned even me when I found it again. A voice that knew without hesitation the life she was creating. A voice that listed out the future I am now living, long before I had the courage, stability, or clarity to imagine any of it realistically. Reading that list feels like witnessing my past self bless my present self, reminding me that soul calls never arrive empty. They carry the architecture of what is possible.

This episode is an invitation to honor your own unfolding in the same way. To see the patterns you are outgrowing, the chapters you are grieving, and the expansions you are already stepping into. To remember that every becoming is patterned with both collapse and creation. And that the you who is writing today’s entry may be the woman your future self thanks for changing everything.

If you are in the thick of it, please know you are not behind and you are not failing. You are mid‑chapter. You are in the woods. You are becoming.

And you are not alone. 💗

Show Notes:

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ADHD for Smart Ass Women - Tracy Otsuka

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Episode 82: In this deeply personal episode, I take you back to the earliest days of my own journey—before I made the decision to divorce. Through sharing two intimate journal entries from 2017, you’ll step inside my inner world at a time when my future felt uncertain, and yet a quiet, insistent voice inside me whispered, “You can change your stars.”

These entries are raw and unfiltered. One captures the first flickers of awakening, a moment when I glimpsed what real love, real home, and real alignment could feel like. The other reflects the doubt, confusion, and self-questioning that followed soon after. Together, they reveal how nonlinear, layered, and sacred this process of transformation truly is.

This episode is for any woman who finds herself in the “before”—the place where hope feels distant and clarity feels just out of reach. It’s a reminder that you’re not alone, that your feelings are valid, and that even in the darkness, there is power in trusting your own soul’s knowing.

My hope is that these reflections illuminate your path as you navigate your own questions and challenges. I want you to see what’s possible when you follow those soul calls—when you allow yourself to believe, even if only faintly at first, that a different life might be available to you.

Show Notes:

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A Knight’s Tale

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Episode 81: If you’re anything like I was, you’re holding it together on the outside, while silently unraveling on the inside. You’ve tried therapy. You’ve tried harder. You’ve read the books and done the journaling. But something still feels off in your marriage—and you can’t quite name what it is.

In this episode, I sit down with the woman who first helped me name it. My former counselor, Paré Underwood, was the person who gently—without ever pushing—began to walk me back to myself. At the time, I didn’t realize I was in a narcissistically abusive relationship. I just thought I was failing. As a wife. As a mother. As a human being.

We talk about what narcissistic abuse actually looks and feels like from the inside, and why it so often goes unrecognized—especially by professionals. If you’ve been in therapy for years and no one has helped you put the pieces together, this conversation will hit home. We explore the small, subtle signs: the self-doubt, the second-guessing, the way you slowly lose access to your own inner voice.

We also dive into what makes women more vulnerable to repeating these dynamics in future relationships, and how to protect yourself without having to shut down your softness or your empathy. Paré shares how she gently helps clients begin to reclaim their thoughts, their preferences, and their reality—even in marriages where there’s no visible “incident” to point to.

This one is deeply personal. It’s for those of you who feel exhausted and confused but still unsure. For those who are wondering, “Is it me?” and quietly suspecting the answer might be no. If you’re starting to consider divorce but feel like your own instincts have been turned against you, this conversation will bring clarity—and hopefully, some relief.

Show Notes:

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The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family - Eleanor Payson

Paré’s Information:

Website

Paré’s Resource for Examples of Verbal, Emotional, and Physical Abuse

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