When everything falls apart at once, grief, divorce, addiction, and motherhood, how do you find the strength to rebuild?

In this moving episode of The Moving On Method® with Michelle Dempsey-Multack, Nikki Spoelstra shares her powerful journey through loss, sobriety, and renewal. From the depths of despair to founding the Becoming Her community, Nikki reveals how radical self-trust, faith, and emotional recovery can transform the most painful moments into the foundation for an extraordinary new life.

What You’ll Learn:

The “Victor, Not Victim” Mindset: How reframing pain changes your entire healing trajectory.

The Truth About Sobriety and Survival: Why Nikki says recovery was “divine preparation” for life’s hardest storms.

Emotional Self-Trust: Learning to make decisions that honor your peace, even when others don’t understand.

How to Rest, Rebuild, and Rise: Why rest isn’t weakness, it’s a necessary part of transformation.

Breaking Cycles of Shame and Control: How to stop carrying what isn’t yours and start caring without over-functioning.

Episode Highlights:

00:00 – When life collapses: navigating grief, loss, and survival

05:40 – The “victor or victim” decision that changed Nikki’s life

12:25 – Grieving complicated relationships and finding closure without reconciliation

20:10 – Sobriety as divine preparation for motherhood and adversity

29:15 – Redefining rest, recovery, and self-compassion after burnout

36:48 – Public healing: setting boundaries with grace and emotional integrity

43:02 – The “Modern Matriarch” mindset and what it means to become her

47:12 – Nikki’s message to anyone feeling hopeless right now

Meet the Guest:

Nikki Spoelstra is a creator, speaker, and founder of the Becoming Her community, a digital platform for women devoted to self-trust, healing, and personal growth. Through her story of faith, sobriety, and transformation, Nikki has inspired thousands to redefine strength and embrace emotional literacy in their healing journey.

Tools, Frameworks, or Strategies Mentioned:

The “Victor vs. Victim” Framework – A mindset reframe for overcoming adversity.

The Serenity Prayer Practice – Daily grounding for recovery and emotional regulation.

The “Care, Don’t Carry” Model – Learning healthy emotional boundaries.

Modern Matriarch Mindset – Leadership and empowerment redefined for women post-divorce.

Becoming Her Method – A self-evolution model rooted in faith, recovery, and feminine empowerment.

Closing Insight:

“The burdens we carry aren’t meant to crush us, they’re portals that lift us higher.”

Nikki’s story reminds us that healing doesn’t begin with perfection; it begins with permission.

Join The Moving On Collective! A safe, judgment-free support group experience for divorced and divorcing parents: https://bit.ly/MichelleCommunity

Learn from Michelle how to navigate divorce & co-parenting: https://bit.ly/MDMPodStore

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TheMichelleDempsey

Website - https://michelledempsey.com/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/michelle645

TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@themichelledempsey1

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mldempsey/

LINK TO TRANSCRIPT: https://transcripts/moving-on-method-ep270-becoming-her-nikki-spoelstra

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What if the most important skill your child could learn after divorce isn’t resilience, but emotional literacy?

In this powerful and heartfelt episode, Michelle Dempsey-Multack sits down with clinical psychologist Dr. Erika Vélez to unpack how divorce impacts a child’s emotional world and why social-emotional learning is not optional; it’s essential. Together, they explore how parents can help children name their emotions, navigate co-parenting challenges, and break generational cycles of silence and shame.

What You’ll Learn:

Why social-emotional learning is a critical skill for kids navigating divorce

How to help your child express and regulate emotions safely

What emotional modeling looks like, and how to do it without oversharing

How to stay grounded when you’re the “emotionally safe” parent

Why validation, repair, and self-compassion are stronger than perfection

Episode Highlights:

00:00 – The truth about children’s emotional needs during divorce

05:32 – Why social-emotional skills matter more than ever in modern parenting

11:05 – How parents unknowingly invalidate their child’s emotions

17:24 – Modeling healthy emotional regulation (without burdening your kids)

22:40 – The pressure of being the only emotionally grounded co-parent

29:10 – What to do when your co-parent doesn’t “get it”

36:45 – Repairing ruptures: How to own mistakes and reconnect with your child

42:10 – The one rule that protects your child’s future: Love your child more than you hate your ex

Meet the Guest:

Dr. Erika Vélez is a licensed psychologist, founder of The Mindful Corner, and an expert in emotional literacy and conscious parenting. She helps families, teens, and co-parents navigate the psychological challenges of divorce with empathy, structure, and evidence-based tools for emotional regulation.

Tools, Frameworks, or Strategies Mentioned:

The Feelings Wheel – A tool to help children name complex emotions beyond “sad” or “angry.”

Love and Limits Framework – The balance of empathy and accountability in effective parenting.

Emotional Repair Model – How to return to difficult conversations to rebuild safety and trust.

Closing Insight:

"We can’t be the tour guide to a place we’ve never been." — Dr. Erika Vélez

Parenting after divorce starts with your own emotional awareness. When you model authenticity, validation, and repair, you give your child lifelong tools to thrive, no matter how difficult the circumstances.

Join The Moving On Collective! A safe, judgment-free support group experience for divorced and divorcing parents: https://bit.ly/MichelleCommunity

Learn from Michelle how to navigate divorce & co-parenting: https://bit.ly/MDMPodStore

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TheMichelleDempsey

Website - https://michelledempsey.com/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/michelle645

TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@themichelledempsey1

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mldempsey/

LINK TO TRANSCRIPT: https://transcripts/moving-on-method-ep269-social-emotional-learning-in-divorce

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What if financial freedom after divorce wasn’t about sacrifice, but about clarity, control, and confidence?

In this episode of The Moving On Method® Podcast, Michelle Dempsey-Multack and Sylvia Guinan, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst at Wells Fargo Advisors, unpack what it truly means to thrive financially after separation. From redefining your relationship with money to creating stability for your children, this conversation offers a practical and empowering roadmap for starting over with confidence and calm.

What You’ll Learn:

How to create a post-divorce budget that reflects your real life, not your fears

The mindset shift from restriction to empowerment when managing money

Why self-care is a financial priority, not an indulgence

How to talk to your children about money in a way that builds healthy financial awareness

The most common financial red flags newly divorced women face, and how to avoid them

Episode Highlights:

00:00 – Michelle and Sylvia open up about the emotional side of financial recovery

04:10 – Building your first post-divorce budget with confidence and clarity

09:35 – The emotional psychology behind spending and scarcity

14:20 – Prioritizing your essentials: home, health, and self-care

20:15 – Teaching your children healthy financial habits without fear

25:30 – Avoiding the top financial red flags after divorce

29:00 – How to rebuild peace, confidence, and control through budgeting

32:15 – Final reflections: clarity as the foundation of calm

Sylvia Guinan is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) at Wells Fargo Advisors, helping women transition from financial uncertainty to clarity and control. With deep expertise in post-divorce planning, she guides clients through budgeting, investment strategy, and long-term wealth preservation, empowering them to thrive independently.

The Post-Divorce Budget Framework: a two-column model for “Current Lifestyle” vs. “Retirement from Marriage”

Financial Boundary Method: redefining budgets as boundaries, not punishments

The Self-Care Allocation Principle: how emotional well-being directly impacts financial health

Money Mindset Reset: shifting from scarcity to stability

Closing Insight:

“A budget isn’t a burden, it’s your blueprint for freedom.” — Michelle Dempsey-Multack

Every financial decision after divorce is an opportunity to rewrite your story. This episode reminds listeners that true wealth isn’t just measured in dollars, it’s in the peace of knowing you’re in control of your future.

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What happens to a child’s nervous system when they experience divorce, conflict, or emotional disconnection?

In this powerful episode, Michelle Dempsey-Multack sits down with Dr. Sasha Reiisieh, an early childhood trauma expert, to explore how attachment, safety, and co-parenting dynamics shape a child’s emotional world. Together, they unpack what truly causes trauma, and why it’s not the divorce itself, but the absence of safety and repair that leaves lasting scars.

If you’re a parent navigating separation, co-parenting challenges, or simply striving to raise emotionally secure children, this conversation will help you understand how to nurture resilience, connection, and calm, starting with yourself.

What You’ll Learn:

The difference between trauma and traumatic events, and how your child’s body defines the difference

Why a child’s sense of safety is the single greatest predictor of emotional well-being after divorce

How one stable, emotionally regulated caregiver can offset chaos from the other parent

The science behind rupture and repair, and how parents can rebuild emotional trust

Why co-parenting dynamics often trigger old wounds, and how to model emotional balance for your kids

Episode Highlights:

Meet the Guest:

Dr. Sasha Reiisieh is a licensed early childhood trauma therapist and educator with over a decade of experience working with children and families. His research and clinical work focus on how attachment, regulation, and caregiver dynamics shape emotional health from birth through adolescence. Known for his compassionate, no-nonsense approach, Dr. Racy helps parents understand how to create emotional safety even in the face of conflict and change.

Tools, Frameworks, or Strategies Mentioned:

The Bigger, Stronger, Wiser, and Kind Model – A framework for emotionally attuned parenting

Rupture and Repair – How emotional breaks, when properly addressed, strengthen connection

Somatic Awareness Practices – Helping children and parents regulate through body-based awareness

The “One Good Enough Parent” Principle – The protective power of one stable caregiver

Closing Insight:

“Safety is the foundation of resilience. Your child doesn’t need two perfect parents; they need one emotionally regulated parent who can model calm, love, and connection even in chaos.” – Dr. Sasha Racy

Join The Moving On Collective! A safe, judgment-free support group experience for divorced and divorcing parents: https://bit.ly/MichelleCommunity

Learn from Michelle how to navigate divorce & co-parenting: https://bit.ly/MDMPodStore

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TheMichelleDempsey

Website - https://michelledempsey.com/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/michelle645

TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@themichelledempsey1

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mldempsey/

LINK TO TRANSCRIPT:

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What if the secret to thriving after divorce isn’t about pushing harder, but learning when to let go?

In this powerful conversation, Amanda Goetz joins Michelle Dempsey-Multack to unpack toxic grit, the hidden cost of overperformance, and how divorced and single mothers can reclaim energy, clarity, and joy without burning out.

Listeners will walk away with practical frameworks for balance, permission to prioritize themselves, and strategies for rewriting outdated scripts about womanhood, motherhood, and success.

Why toxic grit keeps women trapped in cycles of guilt, overwork, and exhaustion

How Amanda’s Character Theory helps you separate and align the different versions of yourself, mom, professional, partner, and more

The power of transition sequences to reset your energy and reduce overstimulation in parenting and work

Why outsourcing certain tasks (the “sanity tax”) can be essential for single parents

How to navigate guilt, societal expectations, and scripts handed down by family or culture

04:12 – Amanda shares her journey from a small-town upbringing to building a career in tech and marketing while navigating divorce.

11:58 – The hidden weight of toxic grit and why traditional “lean in” culture fails single mothers.

18:20 – Introducing Character Theory, a framework to understand the multiple roles we play and how misalignment leads to burnout.

24:37 – Practical strategies for creating transition sequences that shift your energy between work, parenting, and personal life.

31:15 – The “sanity tax” and how investing in help can protect your well-being and your children’s stability.

36:42 – Reframing guilt and learning to ask: Whose voice am I hearing when shame or doubt creeps in?

40:10 – Amanda’s insights on mosquito tasks, 10-10-10 decision making, and reducing cognitive overload.

Meet The Guest:

Amanda Goetz is an author, CMO, and founder whose upcoming book, Toxic Grit redefines resilience and self-leadership for women. A divorced mother of three, she blends personal experience with business acumen to empower women to pursue ambition without self-sacrifice. She is also the new host of the Girl Boss podcast, reimagined as Ambition 2.0.

Character Theory – understanding the multiple identities within us and how to align them

Transition Sequences – practical rituals to reset energy when shifting roles

Sanity Tax – reframing outsourcing as a necessity, not a luxury

10-10-10 Framework – assessing urgency and significance before reacting

Mosquito Task List – capturing small tasks to reduce cognitive load

“Permission is power. When we give ourselves permission to rest, delegate, and prioritize joy, we break free from the toxic cycles of guilt and overperformance.”

Connect with Amanda:

LikedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amandagoetz/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theamandagoetz/

Join The Moving On Collective! A safe, judgment-free support group experience for divorced and divorcing parents: https://bit.ly/MichelleCommunity

Learn from Michelle how to navigate divorce & co-parenting: https://bit.ly/MDMPodStore

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TheMichelleDempsey

Website - https://michelledempsey.com/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/michelle645

TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@themichelledempsey1

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mldempsey/

LINK TO TRANSCRIPT: https://transcripts/moving-on-method-ep266-amanda-goetz-reinvention

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Divorce can feel overwhelming, especially when money is involved.

In this empowering conversation, divorce coach Michelle Dempsey-Multack and Sylvia Guinan, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), break down the most important financial steps every divorcing woman needs to know. From understanding hidden assets to protecting your children’s financial future, this episode delivers clarity and confidence when you need it most.

How to identify and protect yourself from financial abuse during separation.

The critical first questions to ask your divorce attorney about assets, spending, and hidden accounts.

Why a financial affidavit matters, and how to complete it without fear or second-guessing.

02:10 – Why money fears are the #1 stressor in divorce, and how to take the first step toward financial clarity.

09:25 – Recognizing signs of financial abuse and reclaiming control.

15:18 – The truth about financial affidavits and why honest numbers empower you.

23:40 – When to fight for the house, and when to let it go.

30:55 – The hidden costs of divorce most people overlook.

36:12 – Sylvia’s strategy for building a trusted professional team to protect your future.

41:30 – Final financial planning tips to move forward with confidence.

Sylvia Guinan is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst with Wells Fargo Advisors who specializes in guiding women through the financial realities of divorce. Her expertise helps clients make informed decisions, avoid hidden pitfalls, and secure a confident path forward

Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA): Expert support to evaluate assets, tax implications, and settlement scenarios.

Financial Affidavit Tips: How to accurately document expenses and protect your lifestyle.

Team-Based Divorce Planning: The value of combining legal, financial, and emotional support.

“There’s no price for your freedom. Be brave, find your truth, and remember, you deserve a financial plan that reflects your worth.” – Sylvia Guinan

Join The Moving On Collective! A safe, judgment-free support group experience for divorced and divorcing parents: https://bit.ly/MichelleCommunity

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TheMichelleDempsey
Website - https://michelledempsey.com/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/michelle645
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@themichelledempsey1
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mldempsey/

LINK TO TRANSCRIPT: https://transcripts/moving-on-method-ep265-divorce-financial-planning

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Resentment is a natural, but draining, part of single parent life.

In this empowering episode of The Moving On Method®, Michelle Dempsey-Multack opens up about the hidden mental load of solo parenting, the quiet envy of watching partnered friends get a “break,” and the practical self-care strategies that keep resentment from taking root. Listeners will learn how to name the feeling, release it, and reclaim their energy and joy as a single parent

Why resentment shows up in single parenthood, and how to recognize it before it overwhelms you

Daily self-care practices (sleep hygiene, gentle movement, nourishing meals) that lower stress hormones and quiet negative emotions

How to reframe single parent life to reduce comparison, jealousy, and the “why me” mindset

Ways to ask for help and build a supportive community without guilt or shame

Why releasing resentment strengthens your relationship with your children and models emotional resilience

Michelle Dempsey-Multack is a certified divorce and co-parenting specialist, author, and the creator of The Moving On Method®, guiding parents toward resilience, self-care, and healthy post-divorce family dynamics.

Sleep hygiene routines to promote deeper rest and reduce irritability

Gentle movement practices like yoga, stretching, and evening walks to clear resentment from the nervous system

Breathwork for immediate nervous-system regulation

Community care: reframing asking for help as a sign of strength, not weakness

“Resentment is like swallowing poison and hoping it affects someone else, it only hurts you. Naming it, nurturing yourself, and letting others support you transforms exhaustion into empowerment.”

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What if the very thing you’re clinging to in co-parenting, the need for control, is what’s keeping you from peace?

In this episode, Michelle Dempsey-Multack unpacks why control in co-parenting is an illusion, how expectations create unnecessary heartache, and what true surrender looks like for divorced parents. Listeners will learn how to shift from frustration to freedom and create a calmer, more resilient environment for their children.

Why co-parents crave control after divorce and how it impacts anxiety

The difference between healthy influence and harmful attempts to control

How to respond when your ex behaves in ways you can’t change

Tools for modeling resilience and stability for your children

A practical exercise to release control and focus on what really matters

The “Expectation Audit” Exercise – writing down one thing you can’t control in co-parenting, and one thing you can control.

Modeling Resilience Framework – showing kids strength and calm through action rather than reacting to negativity.

“Your power as a parent doesn’t come from controlling every variable; it comes from modeling grace, resilience, and love.”

Letting go of control isn’t giving up, it’s reclaiming peace. Take a deep breath, release what isn’t yours to manage, and focus on what truly matters: showing up for your children with stability and love.

Learn from Michelle how to navigate divorce & co-parenting: https://bit.ly/MDMPodStore

Get one-on-one coaching from Michelle: http://stan.store/themichelledempsey/p/book-a-11-zoom-with-me-wt46q75a

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TheMichelleDempsey

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LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mldempsey/

LINK TO TRANSCRIPT: https://transcripts/moving-on-method-ep263-letting-go-of-control-in-co-parenting

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How do you rebuild your financial independence after a divorce?

In this episode of The Moving On Method® Podcast, Michelle Dempsey-Multack speaks with Ashley Miller (Madam Trader) about closing the wealth gap, overcoming financial fear, and taking practical steps toward financial freedom. Together, they unpack how women can transform money from a source of stress into a tool for empowerment, choice, and resilience.

Why financial literacy is a form of freedom, and a key to leaving toxic relationships

How to take stock of assets, liabilities, and cash flow after divorce

Practical shifts to reduce expenses and align spending with values

Why investing, not just saving, is critical for long-term security

The mindset shift every divorced woman needs to reclaim her financial independence

Meet the Guest:

Ashley Miller, known as Madam Trader, is a finance professional and educator dedicated to helping women take charge of their financial futures. Through her podcast and coaching, she spotlights successful women traders, promotes financial literacy, and empowers women to close the wealth gap.

Madam Trader Approach – storytelling and education to normalize women in finance

Pre-Investing Checklist – emergency funds, debt payoff, and employer match strategies

Compound Interest Framework – using time and consistency to grow wealth exponentially

Ellevest Platform – an accessible robo-advisor and impact investing tool designed for women

“Money is a tool. The less you understand it, the more it controls your life. The more you understand it, the more freedom you have.” – Ashley Miller

By building financial literacy and investing consistently, women can reclaim independence, model resilience for their children, and create a future they won’t have to recover from.

Learn from Michelle how to navigate divorce & co-parenting: https://bit.ly/MDMPodStore

Get one-on-one coaching from Michelle: http://stan.store/themichelledempsey/p/book-a-11-zoom-with-me-wt46q75a

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TheMichelleDempsey

Website - https://michelledempsey.com/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/michelle645

TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@themichelledempsey1

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mldempsey/
LINK TO TRANSCRIPT: https://transcripts/moving-on-method-ep263-building-wealth-after-divorce

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What happens when your ex keeps introducing new girlfriends to your children?

This episode explores one of the most common and emotionally triggering co-parenting challenges: protecting your kids’ emotional safety when you can’t control your ex’s choices.

Michelle Dempsey-Multack shares practical, child-centered strategies to help parents manage their own emotions, create stability at home, and provide the safe harbor children need to thrive.

What You’ll Learn:

Why you cannot control your ex’s decisions—but you can control your response

How to process “ragey” feelings without placing that weight on your children

The impact of a revolving door of partners on a child’s nervous system

Simple scripts for responding when kids share their experiences with new partners

The Safe Harbor Parenting™ framework for creating consistency, boundaries, and emotional resilience

Episode Highlights:

Tools, Frameworks, or Strategies Mentioned

Safe Harbor Parenting™ – a branded framework emphasizing emotional safety, consistency, boundaries, and resilience building

Serenity Prayer Reframe – a mindset reminder for focusing energy only where you have influence

Closing Insight:

“Your job is not to control your ex. Your job is to be the safe harbor where your children can always return.” – Michelle Dempsey-Multack

By modeling calm, consistent, child-centered co-parenting, you create the environment your kids won’t have to recover from, even if the other parent makes choices you cannot control.

Learn from Michelle how to navigate divorce & co-parenting: https://bit.ly/MDMPodStore

Get one-on-one coaching from Michelle: http://stan.store/themichelledempsey/p/book-a-11-zoom-with-me-wt46q75a

Get Michelle's courses on navigating divorce and co-parenting: https://bit.ly/MDMPodStore

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TheMichelleDempsey

Website - https://michelledempsey.com/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/michelle645

TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@themichelledempsey1

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mldempsey/

LINK TO TRANSCRIPT: https://transcripts/moving-on-method-ep261-ex-bringing-new-girlfriends-around-kids

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