You dodged a bullet!" No—the bullet hit me. I just survived.

This week's Fan Mail question comes from a YouTube listener who writes: 

"People tell me I dodged a bullet. But the bullet hit me—I just survived. I feel like it turned me into a monster. The PTSD caused me to start reacting more strongly to smaller triggers and even did abusive things myself in what I felt was self-defense."

In this episode, Dr. Kerry addresses why "you dodged a bullet" feels so wrong, what survivor's guilt really is, why up to 75% of narcissistic abuse survivors develop PTSD, and how to make peace with the protective parts of yourself that helped you survive—without exiling them. 

Submit Your Question 

If you'd like your question addressed on air, send it here: 

👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

• ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching app
• The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
• First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
• Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Dr. Kerry!

• Youtube
• Instagram
• TikTok
• Facebook

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. 

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

Is narcissism caused by genetics or trauma? Ever heard “narcissists act that way because of bad parenting" or “because they’ve experienced trauma?” 

This week, Dr. Peter Salerno returns to challenge everything you thought you knew about the cause of narcissistic personality disorder. We're diving into the controversial science of heritability. 

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW 

🔹 Stuck in cognitive dissonance? Are you struggling with the decision to leave and wondering why you can’t? 

Dr. Salerno reveals why waiting for certainty keeps you trapped, how to make the hardest decision of your life without knowing if it's "right," and why almost no one regrets leaving once they do.  

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview.

MORE ABOUT DR. PETER SALERNO

• Instagram: @DrPeterSalerno
• YouTube: Dr. Peter Salerno
• Website

Books: The Nature and Nurture of Narcissism: Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder from the Perspective of Gene - Environment Interaction

Traumatic Cognitive Dissonance: Healing from an Abusive Relationship with a Disordered Personality

'Cruelty by Nature: The Science of Intentional Abuse

DR. PETER SALERNO is a retired clinical psychologist with an expert understanding of personality pathology, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the genetic components of personality disorders.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

• ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching app
• The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
• First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
• Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Dr. Kerry!

• Youtube
• Instagram
• TikTok
• Facebook

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. 

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a Spotify listener: 

“Can you please do an episode on scapegoat children?”

Why do some people get scapegoated, especially in families? Dr. Kerry explains the role of the scapegoat and how families use this person to address systemic stress and dysfunctional. 

Submit Your Question 

If you’d like your question addressed on air, send it here: 👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

• ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching app
• The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
• First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
• Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Dr. Kerry!

• Youtube
• Instagram
• TikTok
• Facebook

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. 

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

Ever wonder why you didn't see the danger coming?

This week, Dr. Leslie Dobson joins Dr. Kerry to unpack the psychological mechanisms that drive narcissistic and antisocial behavior. 

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW

🔹 Red flags you're missing: how to spot pressure, boundary testing, and grooming before it's too late.

Dr. Dobson breaks down the early warning signs—from gold-toothed "tests" to rushed intimacy—and why trusting your intuition could save your life.

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview.

MORE ABOUT DR. LESLIE DOBSON

• Website
• Instagram & TikTok: @DrLeslieDobson
• YouTube: Dr. Leslie Dobson
• Podcast: Intentionally Disturbing (iHeartRadio, available on all platforms)
• Book: The Friend Cleanse: How to identify energy vampires, set boundaries & balance your glass of life 

DR. LESLIE DOBSON is a clinical and forensic psychologist specializing in dangerous personalities. 

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

• ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching app
• The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
• First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
• Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Dr. Kerry!

• Youtube
• Instagram
• TikTok
• Facebook

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. 

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

Dr. Les Carter has spent decades studying narcissists, and in this retrospective, he reveals what most people miss until it's too late.

We revisit five groundbreaking conversations about what's really happening behind the mask.

Get a glimpse into the weekly Substack newsletter with this week’s complimentary copy. Sign up today using this link.

Dr. Carter may have produced his last video, but his wisdom continues on his YouTube channel, Surviving Narcissism.

Thank you, Dr. Les Carter, for all your wonderful work. You have made the world a more lovely, enlightened place.

DR. LES CARTER is a retired clinical psychotherapist, best-selling author, and expert on narcissistic abuse who hosts the popular YouTube channel "Surviving Narcissism". 

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

• ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching app
• The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
• First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
• Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Dr. Kerry!

• Youtube
• Instagram
• TikTok
• Facebook

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. 

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

“Is the Dark Triad a real disorder—or just a dangerous type?”

This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a listener in Germany who writes after a recent video:

“You called ‘dark triad’ a personality disorder, but it isn’t in the DSM-5. Isn’t it a subclinical descriptor?”

In this episode, Dr. Kerry clarifies what is the Dark Triad and why we need to get better at spotting this type of personality. 

Submit Your Question

If you’d like your question addressed on air, send it here: 

👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

• ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching app
• The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
• First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
• Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Dr. Kerry!

• Youtube
• Instagram
• TikTok
• Facebook

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. 

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

Ever feel like you’re slowly running out of air in a “nice” relationship?

This week, Eleni Sagredos joins Dr. Kerry to unpack how coercive control hides behind charm and “preferences.”

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW 

🔹 Learn how escalation works—and why “just leave” can be a privilege, yet safety planning matters now.

Eleni and Dr. Kerry map the climb from small criticisms to coercion to high-risk moments, and where to get immediate support (DV hotlines, advocates, transitional housing). 

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview.

MORE ABOUT ELENI SAGREDOS

• Tiktok
•  Instagram
• Book: But They're So Nice: Unmasking Covert Abuse & Narcissistic People

ELENI SAGREDOS is an author, an abuse educator and a certified Domestic Violence Advocate with a passion for raising awareness about covert abuse and domestic violence. 

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

• ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching app
• The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
• First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
• Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Dr. Kerry!

• Youtube
• Instagram
• TikTok
• Facebook

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. 

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

“My son’s in a toxic marriage—how do we help without making it worse?”

This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a listener in Raleigh, North Carolina:

“My adult son is in a toxic marriage with a likely narcissist. He’s miserable, says he wants out, but stays—partly because of their three young kids. How can we support him when he shares the emotional abuse without pushing or making things worse?”

In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains how best to support a loved one who’s being abused—especially when it’s your son. Learn what helps and what will make things worse.

Submit Your Question

If you’d like your question addressed on air, send it here: 

👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

• ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching app
• The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
• First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
• Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Dr. Kerry!

• Youtube
• Instagram
• TikTok
• Facebook

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. 

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

Ever feel like you can’t find “you” anymore? That you’re second-guessing everything, going numb, or swallowing your words just to keep the peace?

This week, psychologist Dr. Shahrzad Jalali joins Dr. Kerry to unpack how long-term emotional abuse scrambles your nervous system and leads to identity confusion. 

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW 

🔹 what to do if you either overwhelm others with pain or downplay what happened.

Dr. Jalali lays out a gentle, step-by-step plan that starts with naming what’s happening and accepting you’re not “overreacting.”

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

MORE ABOUT DR. JALALI

• Website
• Instagram

SHAHRZAD JALALI, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist. She completed an M.A. in Clinical Psychology (Marriage and Family Therapy) and received training during her internship in the field of addiction. 

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

• ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching app
• The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
• First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
• Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Dr. Kerry!

• Youtube
• Instagram
• TikTok
• Facebook

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. 

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

“My abuser claims he’s ‘trauma bonded’ to me…Can that be true?

This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a listener on YouTube who wants to know how common it is for an abusive partner to be trauma bonded. Hers claims to be. She’s wonders if this true or if her partner is attempting to dodge responsibility. 

Submit Your Question

If you’d like your question addressed on air, send it here: 

👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

• ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching app
• The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
• First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
• Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Dr. Kerry!

• Youtube
• Instagram
• TikTok
• Facebook

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. 

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.