The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle

It’s a terrible thing when parents ignore and neglect a child for whom attention, love and security are just as important as food and water and oxygen. If you grew up starved for comfort, you may find yourself now, as an adult, trying to make do in relationships where you get almost nothing back. And the hardest part is, you can’t let go. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman whose parents physically and emotionally abandoned her, and now she pines for a man who doesn't care for her at all.

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When you’ve lived through abuse, neglect, bullying, hardship and getting ostracized, it becomes hard to think. Your life gets chaotic. Your feelings overwhelm you. It’s hard to keep track of time or take proper care of yourself. And your space gets cluttered. What your wounded self is craving is *order,* where all the elements of your life can fall into place, into a flow that helps you to mentally and emotionally, function and to physically re-regulate. I’ll show you a simple exercise to get started with gently introducing order in your day, but first, I want to talk about the concept of order, and what it looks like when it’s not working. 

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Your mind plays tricks on you when you fall in love with someone who says flat out they don’t want a relationship. This absent character, present only as an electronic voice or a digital image but never as a real person at your side who loves you -- can be the perfect blank canvas for lament fantasies. “If only we could be together…” that’s what the limerent thinks, never doing the math to understand that the person clearly, openly strongly tells you that will never happen. In this 4-video compilation, I share four of my most popular videos where I answer letters from people struggling with obsessive love and limerence.

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It’s easy to think that when a period of intense trauma in your life is over, you should be fine. But the trouble is, AFTER traumatic experiences you can be extremely vulnerable, not just to people who want to manipulate you, but to your own, trauma-driven pattern of self-deception. Healing takes time, and sometimes the gravity of your mistakes becomes real to you later. In this video, I respond to a woman searching for ways to overcome the guilt she feels in the aftermath of an affair.

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Everybody loves transformation stories where someone has a horrible life of struggle and addiction and trauma – and then ONE good thing happens and EVERYTHING is happy ever after. It sounds good on social media but does not help those of us who are trying to FREE ourselves from the trauma-driven problems of the past. In reality, the wounds of trauma are still there even after you begin changing your life. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who has worked hard to heal but feels lonely, hopeless, sad and angry. You might benefit from hearing my advice.

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Trauma during childhood can teach you to "give away your power" through self-destructive tendencies, people pleasing, and an urge to flee conflict, responsibility, and intimacy. To heal trauma, you need your POWER. Here, I share a hugely popular video from my archives on the steps to take to build the stamina, resilience and insight needed to sustain the work of healing Childhood PTSD.

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When we're talking about trauma, a "trigger" is a stimulus that sets off Childhood PTSD symptoms -- in particular, dysregulation. In this 4-video compilation I share four of my most popular videos about common - but often overlooked -- triggers that YOU may be experiencing now. When you learn to calm your triggers, your life gets freer and more choices are open to you.

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If your heart's desire is to marry a man and have children but you keep dating men who don't want quite the same thing, it helps to get VERY clear about what you want and to change the way you date. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who has been sabotaging what she really wants in long-term relationships that can't bring her the future she seeks. Hear my clear advice for how to change the pattern and date in a way that supports the creation of the lasting, committed love and family want.

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We’re surrounded by the noise of IDEAS about how to live life – “it’s all about self-discipline,” “just let go,” – “Do senseless acts of kindness” – “learn the joy of saying no.” All these ideas are in conflict with each other, so if you don’t have a burning light inside of who you are, they all just lead to confusion and emptiness. And this is especially true for people who were punished or ostracized by their families – emotionally neglected and “directionally neglected” by parents who refused to “see” their children and help them develop their interest. Yet, like all people, those of us with past trauma are called to break out of that empty identity – and this involves leaving your comfort zone sometimes – to become the more vivid and purposeful person you KNOW you are, so that your life can at last come into full color. In this video, I respond to a woman who feels empty, and who is ready to break out of the blank identity she grew up with.

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So many people are walking through their lives with a crushed spirit. All their hope confidence, or the inner power to do anything more than to just survive has been taken from them. They’ve forgotten who they really are, they avoid connection, and they now struggle to detect the difference between right and wrong. When your spirit is intact – you don’t put up with mistreatment. And you don’t give up on life, because your vision of what you want in your life is very PRESENT for you, In this video I teach about how your spirit can get harmed -- what that looks like, how some people get stuck in this limited state, and what you can do to recover fully and live the happy and connected life you know you were mean to have.

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