One sign that childhood trauma is still affecting you is that you probably have at least one of these common triggers -- things that set off dysregulation in your nervous system, and make it hard for you to function at your best. These include hurrying, socializing, abandonment and feeling left out. Do you have these? In this 4-video compilation I share some of my most popular videos about these four major triggers. I'll teach you how to notice them, and what to do to calm triggers before they cause you to get dysregulated.

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It’s every traumatized kids’ dream, that one day, your parents will finally see how much their abusive behavior hurt you, and they’ll change, and say they’re sorry – even if you had to cut them out of your life for a long time – and do everything that’s needed to set things right. But really, what COULD set things right? And even if they really had changed, would you be able to handle picking up that relationship again without falling back down into a place you know TOO well, where you’re depressed and dysregulated and your life gets stuck? In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who is weighing whether to let her abusive parents back into her life. 

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In life, there are people who are going to try to treat you badly. Your gut is going to tell you that what they’re doing is NOT OK, and your gut KNOWS you need to get out of there. But if you were abused or neglected as a kid? There’s something a lot stronger than what you know to be true, and that’s the fear of leaving someone you’ve formed an attachment with. It will make you doubt what you see and hear with your own eyes, and you’ll talk yourself into putting up with something that two hours ago you KNEW was a deal breaker. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who realizes she is hurting herself with self-deception.

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The most powerful thing you can do to have meaningful connection with people is to make them feel like you hear them. People love this, and doing it is an art. But very few people get trained how to do this, especially those of us who grew up in dysfunctional families. In this video, I'll teach you how to overcome ten common conversation stoppers that push people away, and how to make people feel heard and appreciated instead.

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Growing up abused and neglected has an almost universal effect of draining people of their innate POWER. You lose the sense that you have agency to make anything good happen. It takes will, resilience and luck to recover enough to remember who you are, to stay connected to your potential, and to know it's worth trying to become MORE than you are right now. In this 4-video compilation I teach about ways people with trauma from childhood become disempowered, and how to heal the patterns and free your life at last.

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Being avoidant in relationships isn’t just the obvious stuff – they won’t commit, they blow hot and cold, they ghost you when you try to talk about commitment. You might not realize this, but if you have a PATTERN of falling for people like this, YOU are avoiding intimacy just as much, but in your own way. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who is navigating a relationship where two people who can't get close fall madly in love!

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Nothing good can come from relationships built on lies. You can tell yourself that you lie because you don’t want to hurt the other person. You can tell yourself you lie because something bad happened to you when you were a kid. And you can put all kinds of psychological jargon on it. But if you keep doing it, it will wreck everything in your life, and seriously harm others around you. So the question is, how far are you willing to go to STOP the lies? My letter today is from a man I’ll call Artie, and he writes.

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The core symptom of early trauma is neurological dysregulation, and it drives almost every other CPTSD symptom (or makes it worse). In this video, I explain what dysregulation is, what it feels like, and how you can support trauma healing powerfully by learning to re-regulate quickly, and stay regulated more of the time. Doing this can help you feel calmer and more focused, and increase your success in healing.

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Work and career are important to success and happiness. But trauma from your childhood can trigger behaviors that block your advancement and ruin opportunities. In this 4-video compilation, I teach how common trauma-driven behaviors can hurt your work life, and how you can stop the self-sabotage, manage your symptoms and thrive in your career.

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People who were traumatized in the past can be easy targets for people seeking CONTROL. Has this happened to you? If your sense of self is not yet strong, it's easy to fall under the spell of someone who will TELL you who you are. They’ll what you should do and if you push back, they will punish you. This is narcissistic abuse. It’s emotional manipulation. And it's how people can be "brainwashed" to believe anything. In this video, I reply to a letter from a woman with a controlling boyfriend, who is desperate for advice. But can she hear it?

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