The Healing Trauma Podcast

In this episode of the Healing Trauma Podcast, Monique Koven speaks with trauma therapist Gina Birkemeier about her book 'Generations Deep,' which explores the impact of generational trauma and the importance of healing. They discuss how family patterns shape our beliefs and behaviors, the significance of corrective experiences in healing, and the role of curiosity in breaking cycles of dysfunction. Gina shares her personal journey of recognizing and addressing inherited trauma, emphasizing the need for supportive relationships and the importance of not navigating this journey alone.

takeaways

• The title of the book is 'Generations Deep, Unmasking Inherited Trauma and Dysfunction to Rewrite Our Stories.'
• Family patterns can carry significant weight and influence our lives.
• Healing is a non-linear process that involves ups and downs.
• Curiosity can help combat shame and rigidity in our lives.
• Corrective experiences are essential for emotional healing.
• Breaking cycles of trauma starts with individual healing.
• It's important to recognize and address inherited beliefs and behaviors.
• Supportive relationships can provide a foundation for healing.
• Self-reflection is crucial in understanding our childhood needs.
• Do not navigate the healing journey alone; seek support.

Find Gina here: Gina Birkemeier, LPC, NCC

Gina's Book: Generations Deep: Unmasking Inherited Dysfunction and Trauma to Rewrite Our Stories Through Faith and Therapy https://amzn.to/3X9ytPC

Generations Workbook: Generations Deep Journal: Write Your Healing Story

https://amzn.to/47lrR6L



In this conversation, Monique and Dr. Maureen Gallagher explore the integration of Somatic Experiencing and Inner Relationship Focusing as powerful tools for healing trauma and understanding the inner critic. They discuss how these methods can help individuals build a compassionate relationship with their experiences, update old emotional learnings, and transform the inner critic into a supportive part of the self. The conversation emphasizes the importance of self-compassion, the role of attachment in personal growth, and the potential for learning these techniques to enhance emotional well-being.

takeaways

• Somatic experiencing connects deeply with the nervous system.
• Inner relationship focusing builds a relationship with somatic experiences.
• The inner critic often stems from old emotional learnings.
• Transforming the inner critic involves understanding its protective role.
• Updating emotional learnings can alleviate unnecessary fears.
• Self-compassion is crucial for personal growth and healing.
• Integrating somatic experiencing with focusing enhances transformation.
• Learning these techniques can be done individually or with guidance.
• Building a secure attachment to self fosters emotional safety.
• Recognizing the inner critic as a part of oneself can change relationships.

About Our Guest: Dr. Maureen Gallagher is a Licensed Psychologist (NY, NJ), Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and Faculty Member, Inner Relationship Focusing Trainer, Emotionally Focused Therapist and Supervisor and a Relational Psychoanalyst. Her work and teaching are dedicated to the embodiment of psychotherapy and related healing disciplines, in which she integrates somatic awareness and the use of somatic intervention along with adult attachment work and a relational focus. She brings a broad range of experience and training to this endeavor, including Certifications in Somatic Experiencing, Inner Relationship Focusing, Relational Psychoanalysis, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Integral Somatic Psychology, SE Touch skills training and Biodynamic Cranial Sacral Therapy. Her clinical work integrates focusing, somatic experiencing, relational psychoanalysis and experiential and process oriented models of attachment theory. She has maintained a private practice for over 20 years. She is the founder of Embodying Psychotherapy.

Get started right away with the Inner Critics Companion Guide: 

https://maureengallagherphd.com/inner-critics-companion-guidebook 

Stay in touch with Maureen via her monthly letter: 

https://maureengallagherphd.com/join-my-newsletter

In this conversation, Monique welcomes back Dr. Lindsay Gibson to discuss the complexities of emotionally immature mothers and their impact on daughters. They explore the characteristics of emotional immaturity, the need for empathy and connection, and the challenges faced by adult children in navigating relationships with such parents. The discussion also touches on healing strategies, the importance of supportive relationships, and the future of parenting emotionally mature children.

takeaways

• Emotional immaturity can manifest in various ways, affecting relationships.
• The need to be seen and understood is fundamental for emotional health.
• Daughters of emotionally immature mothers often feel invisible and misunderstood.
• Empathy is crucial for healthy relationships and emotional maturity.
• Navigating relationships with emotionally immature parents requires self-care and boundaries.
• Healing is a process that involves recognizing and managing one's own emotional needs.
• Supportive friendships can provide the empathy and connection lacking in parental relationships.
• Understanding emotional immaturity can help adult children cope with their experiences.
• Raising emotionally mature children involves fostering empathy and emotional intelligence.
• It's important to acknowledge the pain of unmet emotional needs and work towards healing.

Watch this episode on youtube

https://youtu.be/fthdfUk5WHE?si=X4qmjUrY5jbzT373

Adult children of Emotionally Immature Parents

https://amzn.to/4kpLu1l

Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents: Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy 

https://amzn.to/42YKdHg

Self-Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: Honor Your Emotions, Nurture Your Self, and Live with Confidence

https://amzn.to/3RTG6XX

Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People: Avoid Emotional Traps, Stand Up for Your Self, and Transform Your Relationships as an Adult Child of Emotionally Immature Parents

https://amzn.to/44qhHRo

This episode is a re release from a previous season.

In this conversation, Monique is talking with Dr. Richard Schwartz, the creator of Internal Family Systems, (IFS) They discuss the model and its application in healing trauma, particularly childhood and complex trauma. Richard emphasizes the importance of understanding the 'self' within IFS, the process of unburdening parts of oneself that carry trauma, and the transformative potential of accessing one's inherent self. The discussion also covers practical techniques for working with protectors and exiled parts.

takeaways

• IFS helps in healing trauma by addressing parts of oneself.
• The self is an untainted essence that knows how to heal.
• Unburdening parts can lead to rapid transformation.
• Curiosity and compassion are key in working with inner critics.
• Healing involves retrieving and nurturing the inner child.
• Protectors must be honored and understood, not fought against.
• Accessing the self can take time and patience.
• Children can easily understand and engage with their parts.
• Spiritual insights suggest that the self is inherent in everyone.
• The upcoming book aims to make IFS accessible to a wider audience.

https://ifs-institute.com/

The Internal Family Systems Workbook: A Guide to Discover Your Self and Heal Your Parts https://amzn.to/3Ky7nPf

No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model https://amzn.to/4mUZHUF

Introduction to Internal Family Systems https://amzn.to/3VPnudK

*This episode is being re released on September 30 to honour the National day For Truth And Reconciliation.

In this episode of the Healing Trauma Podcast, host Monique Koven speaks with Nakuset, an Indigenous woman who shares her powerful story of being a survivor of the 60s scoop and the impact of residential schools on her life and family. Nakuset discusses her journey of self-discovery, the challenges faced by Indigenous communities, and her work as the executive director of the Native Women's Shelter in Montreal. The conversation highlights the importance of healing, community support, and the need for accountability in addressing historical injustices.

takeaways

• Trauma recovery is a messy and challenging process.
• The 60s scoop involved the forced adoption of Indigenous children.
• Residential schools had a devastating impact on Indigenous families.
• Sisterly bonds can be both a source of strength and trauma.
• Grief can be transformed into action for social change.
• Empowering Indigenous women is crucial for community healing.
• Creating sustainable solutions for homelessness is essential.
• Collaboration with youth protection is necessary for effective support.
• Accountability for historical injustices is vital for healing.
• Community-driven solutions are key to addressing systemic issues.

https://www.instagram.com/supacree/

Documentary: https://youtu.be/9P4iYYL4FYY?si=tayMiSmckkSWOe9C

*This episode is a re release from a previous season.

In this conversation, Monique is talking with guest family therapist Sidu Arroyo about the critical aspects of emotional regulation, particularly for those with trauma histories. She emphasizes the importance of understanding that emotions are neither good nor bad, and that self-regulation is a skill that requires practice and co-regulation with others. The discussion also addresses the feelings of guilt and shame that parents may experience when they lose control, and the significance of repairing relationships with children after emotional outbursts. Overall, the conversation highlights the need for compassion towards oneself and the importance of creating a safe environment for emotional expression.

takeaways

• Emotions are neither good nor bad; they are experiences.
• Self-regulation is a skill that takes practice.
• Safety is essential for effective self-regulation.
• Co-regulation is crucial for children to learn self-regulation.
• Parents often struggle with guilt and shame after losing control.
• Repairing relationships is vital after emotional outbursts.
• Acknowledging emotions with compassion is important.
• Children need consistent support to develop emotional skills.
• It's okay to be human and make mistakes as a parent.
• This journey of emotional regulation is a process, not linear.

Sidu Arroyo:

https://www.instagram.com/becomingathome/

In this conversation, Linda Pevac shares her journey of healing through writing, discussing her three books that explore her experiences as an adoptee and the therapeutic techniques that have aided her growth. She emphasizes the importance of understanding one's identity, the impact of trauma, and the necessity of embracing change for personal development. The discussion also highlights the nuances of the adoptee experience and the significance of creating a safe space for healing.

takeaways

• Healing is a continuous journey that brings joy.
• Writing has been a powerful tool for self-discovery.
• Therapy can help individuals connect with their inner parts.
• Choosing to breathe symbolizes making conscious choices.
• Adoption starts with trauma, affecting identity development.
• Creating a gathering place allows for dialogue with inner parts.
• Truth and authenticity are essential for personal growth.
• Anxiety can cloud creativity and self-expression.
• It's important to challenge the stories we tell ourselves.
• The journey of healing can inspire others to find their own path.
• 
  

Watch this episode on Youtube

https://youtu.be/c6I8Z76syKM

Linda's new book: Choosing to Breathe

https://amzn.to/4mynPMR

The Gathering Place: An Adoptee's Story

https://amzn.to/3JYO1T7

A Fire is Coming

https://amzn.to/4mdBc4y

Linda's website: www.emmastevenswriter.com

https://www.instagram.com/thehealingtraumapodcast/

In this episode of the Healing Trauma Podcast, Guest host, Dr. Mark McNear interviews Tim Fletcher, who shares his journey from burnout to becoming a trauma counselor. Tim discusses the roots of complex trauma, the importance of emotional needs in childhood, and the long road to recovery. He emphasizes the significance of self-love, finding safe people, and the challenges of navigating emotions in complex PTSD. Tim also provides insights on tools for emotional regulation and the necessity of patience in the healing process.

Takeaways

• Tim's journey into trauma counseling began unexpectedly.
• Complex trauma includes both big T and little t traumas.
• Unmet childhood needs can lead to complex trauma.
• Healing from trauma is a long and messy process.
• Finding safe people is crucial in recovery.
• Emotions can be difficult for those with complex PTSD.
• The past can influence present emotional responses.
• Self-love and validation are essential for healing.
• Emotional regulation tools can aid in recovery.
• Connection with safe people is vital for healing.
• 
  

Watch this episode on Youtube https://youtu.be/llF501d9mkY?si=ywL7to0XUXnmPsJYTim's Website:https://www.timfletcher.ca/

IG: https://www.instagram.com/timfletcherco/

Guest host :Dr. McNear's Website: https://markmcnear.com/

In this conversation, host Monique Koven has invited Dr Ingrid Clayton back to answer your questions. They explore the concept of fawning as a relational trauma response, discussing its implications on identity, relationships, and personal growth. They delve into the complexities of fawning, including its connection to chronic pain, dissociation, and the importance of setting boundaries. The discussion emphasizes the need for self-compassion and understanding in the healing process, as well as the role of environment in shaping fawning behaviors. Through personal anecdotes and insights, they highlight the journey towards authenticity and self-worth, encouraging listeners to embrace their true selves.

Ingrid's new book:

Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves--and How to Find Our Way Back

https://amzn.to/45QPceD

IG:https://www.instagram.com/ingridclaytonphd/

Website: https://www.ingridclayton.com/

Watch this episode on youtube

https://youtu.be/0noqt2I1oa0

In this conversation,Trauma psychologist and author Dr. Ingrid Clayton shares her journey of healing from complex trauma and the significance of the fawn response in understanding relational dynamics. She discusses her experiences as a survivor and therapist, emphasizing the importance of recognizing fawning behaviours and their impact on self-identity and relationships. The dialogue explores the process of building self-trust, compassion, and the ongoing journey of healing, highlighting the need for a trauma-informed perspective in understanding these responses. Ingrid's insights aim to empower listeners to embrace their experiences and foster a deeper connection with themselves.

takeaways

• Ingrid's first podcast experience was transformative for her healing journey.
• Fawning is a response to relational trauma that often goes unrecognized.
• Understanding fawning can help individuals make sense of their behaviors.
• The journey of healing involves recognizing and addressing fawning behaviors.
• Building self-trust is crucial for personal empowerment and healing.
• Fawning can manifest in various relationships, including familial and romantic.
• Self-compassion is essential in the healing process.
• The importance of creating safe spaces for sharing personal stories.
• Healing is an ongoing process that requires patience and understanding.
• Everyone deserves access to tools and information for healing.

Ingrid's new book:

Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves--and How to Find Our Way Back

https://amzn.to/45QPceD

IG:https://www.instagram.com/ingridclaytonphd/

Website: https://www.ingridclayton.com/