EMDR for Couples: Healing Together Through Simultaneous Processing

A Conversation with Arilda Surridge, LMFT

What happens when EMDR moves beyond the individual—and into the relationship itself?

In this episode of Notice That, Bridger and Jen sit down with Arilda Surridge, LMFT, author and EMDR clinician, to explore how EMDR can be ethically, safely, and powerfully integrated into couples therapy. Arilda shares a clear, grounded framework for working with two nervous systems in the room—without deviating from EMDR fidelity—and offers concrete clinical examples that bring this work to life.

This conversation goes far beyond theory. Together, we walk through:

• When couples EMDR is and is not appropriate
• How to assess whether a trauma is individual, shared, or relational
• What simultaneous EMDR reprocessing actually looks like in practice
• How compassion, accountability, and repair emerge through bilateral stimulation
• Why tools alone often aren’t enough for deeply dysregulated couples

Arilda also shares clinical wisdom from her work with couples navigating car accidents, attachment injuries, guilt and shame, trust ruptures, and relational enactments—highlighting how EMDR can help partners move from reactivity to empathy.

This episode is especially valuable for:

• EMDR therapists working with couples
• Clinicians navigating attachment trauma and relational enactments
• Therapists curious about maintaining EMDR fidelity in non-traditional applications
• Anyone interested in how trauma lives between people—not just within them

About the Guest

Arilda Surridge, LMFT is a licensed marriage and family therapist, EMDR clinician, and the owner of Wellness Counseling Inc. She specializes in integrating EMDR into couples therapy while maintaining fidelity to the eight-phase protocol. Arilda is the author of a practical, clinician-focused book on EMDR for couples and offers professional trainings on this emerging area of practice.

Find out more about her practice here: https://wellnesscounselinginc.com/about/

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In this special “take your learner hat off” episode of Notice That, Bridger and Jen sit down with Jennifer Ann Counseling—EMDR therapist and comedy content creator—for a playful, honest conversation about being a therapist and a human.

This episode isn’t about teaching a specific technique. It’s about humor, authenticity, and why laughter belongs alongside depth in trauma work. We talk about how Jennifer’s platform grew, what it’s like navigating social media as a therapist, handling negative comments, and why being real often connects more than being polished.

We also explore EMDR in everyday practice—ritual, intention, parts work, and the familiar client experience of “I don’t know why this works… but it does.”

Connect with Jennifer Ann Counseling

Instagram / TikTok: @JenniferAnnCounseling

Free resources available via her bio

If this episode resonates, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a colleague who needs a reminder that therapy can be human, playful, and deeply meaningful.

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In this episode of Notice That: An EMDR Podcast, Jen and Bridger sit down with Dr. Arielle Schwartz—somatic psychologist, EMDR therapist, and author of EMDR Therapy and Somatic Psychology—to explore what really happens when EMDR and body-based work are woven together in the therapy room.

Together, they dive into:

• How Arielle’s early training in somatic psychology shaped the way she learned and practices EMDR
• Why the body scan and somatic check-ins are not just “boxes to tick,” but core guides for pacing, target selection, and resolution
• Polyvagal theory’s view of how trauma gets “tagged” in the nervous system—both in external cues and internal sensations
• What to do when clients say, “I don’t feel anything in my body” and how even that response is meaningful data
• The myth that SUDs “should always go down,” especially with dissociative and complex trauma presentations
• Arielle and Barb Maiberger’s “golden nugget practice” and why we shouldn’t wait for a SUD = 0 to install and future-template meaningful shifts
• Therapist embodiment: using our own nervous system as an instrument for attunement, pacing, and repair

Arielle also shares about her Somatic EMDR trainings through BodyLab, her therapist retreats in Sedona and Costa Rica, and her Beyond Trauma nervous system care retreats, including an immersive experience in South Africa that combines yoga, nervous system education, and observing animals in the wild.

You’ll hear practical language, case examples, and flexible ways to honor EMDR’s structure while staying deeply relational, embodied, and responsive to the nervous system in front of you.

Learn more about Dr. Arielle Schwartz:

• Website (events, retreats, trainings): resilienceinformedtherapy.com
• Website (blog, yoga, additional resources): drarielleschwartz.com

Check out her card deck that integrates nature photography with quotes from The Post-Traumatic Growth Guidebook—a powerful tool for helping clients locate themselves in their healing process and set intentions for EMDR and somatic work.

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In this episode of Notice That, Bridger and Jen sit down with neurofeedback expert Leigh Povia, LCSW, RPT, BCN, founder of Center for Dynamic Growth, to explore how neurofeedback can strengthen, support, and accelerate trauma therapy.

Together, they discuss:

• What neurofeedback actually is—beyond the buzzwords
• How brainwave training mirrors internal states and supports regulation
• Why neurofeedback can open doors when EMDR alone feels “stuck”
• How clinicians can partner with neurofeedback providers
• The developmental trauma connection: attachment, arousal, and brain-based interventions
• A powerful case example of a child whose system finally found calm
• Practical uses for neurofeedback in resourcing, closure, and state stabilization

Leigh shares candidly about her own learning curve, what it’s like to bring neurofeedback into an EMDR practice, and how both modalities can work in harmony rather than competition.

If you’ve ever wondered whether neurofeedback could strengthen your EMDR work, this episode is a rich and relatable introduction.

Resources Mentioned:

• Leigh’s course: Demystifying Neurofeedback
• Center for Dynamic Growth: CenterForDynamicGrowth.com

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In this episode, we wrap up our series on working memory theory in EMDR by sitting down with Sander, co-founder of WeMind—a digital platform designed to optimize bilateral stimulation, track real-time client engagement, and bring advanced working memory taxation into both virtual and in-person EMDR sessions.

We explore:

• How WeMind adapts working memory load dynamically during sets
• Why random-interval taxation may enhance reprocessing
• The shift from hardware (light bars, tappers) to integrated platforms
• Cultural differences in EMDR practice across countries
• How tech can support relational, attuned therapy rather than replace it

This episode features conversation only—the demonstration portion appears exclusively on YouTube.

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Jen and Bridger finally sit down to share stories and reflections from the 2024 EMDRIA Conference — a few weeks (or months?) later than planned. From early-morning flights and beachside content shoots to laughter-filled dinners and deep professional reflections, this episode captures the whirlwind of being presenters, exhibitors, and community builders all at once.

They talk candidly about what it was like to present Enactment-Focused EMDR for the first time, the energy of meeting listeners face-to-face, and their behind-the-scenes take on the polarizing buzz around EMDR 2.0. It’s part travelogue, part professional reflection, and all the reasons this work matters.

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In this episode, Bridger and Jen sit down with David Polidi, Bruce Hersey (Syzygy Institute), and Peggy Kolodny (Art Therapy Collective) to explore the forthcoming anthology IFS-Informed EMDR. Together, they unpack how EMDR’s eight phases can be enriched—not replaced—by Internal Family Systems (IFS), art therapy, and Jungian active imagination.

You’ll hear:

• Why Bruce views the target as a part—and how that changes the way we conceptualize trauma work.
• How protectors vs. exiles organize around different types of energy (urge vs. disturbance).
• The emergence of Phase 2.5 / Discovery, bridging resourcing and processing.
• How art-making and active imagination safely access nonverbal, somatic memory.
• Bridger’s chapter, “A Window and a Mirror”, introducing the Somatic Integration and Processing (SIP) model for case conceptualization as an intersubjective, diversity-honoring map.

This conversation is both practical and philosophical—an invitation to deepen precision, creativity, and compassion in trauma therapy.

Preorder the book: IFS-Informed EMDR: Creative and Collaborative Approaches on Amazon

Support the show: patreon.com/thinkbeyondhealing

Trainings & consults: connectbeyondhealing.com → Trainings tab

Follow: @Notice_That_Podcast

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The Mosaic Enneagram (Limited Series)

A five-part companion to a six-month consultation cohort for therapists, this series reimagines the Enneagram as a living mosaic across the head, heart, and gut. Grounded in the Nurtured Nature Personality Framework (NNPF), we explore how agency, bonding, and certainty shape our strategies for belonging and becoming. Each episode blends story and theory—moving from personal mistyping and “type rigidity” toward a more generous, triadic self-portrait. You’ll meet the Mosaic Discovery prompts, unpack tensions and coherence within your three centers, and end by crafting an honest self-narrative you can share with safe others. Whether you’re Enneagram-curious or clinically trained, come for language that honors complexity—and tools you can use right away.

Ideal for: therapists, coaches, and reflective humans

For more information, head over to our website.

Series arc: Agency → Bonding → Certainty → Authentic Self-Narrative

The Mosaic Enneagram reframes typology as a three-center mosaic (head/heart/gut) shaped by life in relationship. This episode sets the foundation: why single-type identity feels rigid, how “mosaics” increase nuance, and how the series will guide listeners toward an authentic self-narrative.

Episode Thesis

Personality makes the most sense when we track the interplay of agency (gut), bonding (heart), and certainty (head) across a lifetime—not as one fixed label but as a living pattern that can be named, tested, and refined in safe relationship.

Segment-by-Segment Outline

1. Welcome & Purpose of the Series

• Limited series accompanying a 6-month therapist cohort.
• Practical application over theory-heavy NNPF, but grounded in it.

1. From Pop Typology to Depth Work

• How people often meet the Enneagram (tests, pop content).
• Initial typing vs. lived complexity; why mistyping is common.

1. Personal Origin Stories

• Early encounters with the Enneagram (tests, books, Rohr lectures).
• Relational context matters: partners/teams mirror what we can’t see.

1. Limits of Single-Type Thinking

• Stress/growth paths and wings can still feel constraining.
• “Storying to fit” vs. noticing where the story doesn’t match behavior.

1. Enter the Mosaic

• Three centers = three core “vectors”:
• Agency (gut) – how we move/act/withhold action
• Bonding (heart) – how we seek/guard connection
• Certainty (head) – how we make sense/secure meaning
• Identify a dominant style in each center to form your mosaic.

1. Lived Examples of Reframing

• Reconsidering “type” after deeper relational observation.
• Why a social Five who “feels a lot” isn’t a contradiction.
• How a Nine-in-gut can steer major life decisions toward balance.

1. Honest Self-Narrative as the Goal

• Naming strategies we use vs. what’s authentic.
• Why we need safe others to see ourselves clearly.

1. What’s Next & Homework

• Complete the Mosaic Discovery prompts before Episode 2.
• Next episodes: Agency → Bonding → Certainty → Self-Narrative.

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New EMDR therapists often feel a gap between basic training and confident, real-world practice. In this conversation, Carol Miles, LCSW-BACS (trainer, consultant, and leader in the South Louisiana EMDR community) joins us to unpack why clinicians drop off after training—and what actually keeps EMDR alive in agencies and private practice.

We cover:

• The five reasons clinicians stall out after basic training—confidence gaps, time/workload, organizational barriers (including insurance/90-minute sessions), cultural & ethical considerations, and keeping skills fresh.
• How relationships, community, and consultation bridge the “I learned it” → “I can do it” gap.
• Using WeMind’s EMDR practice avatars to build real-world confidence with complex presentations.
• What agencies and group practices can do to reduce barriers (scheduling, leadership buy-in, Medicaid/EBP support).
• EMDR’s “yes-and” posture—honoring standard protocol while integrating DBT skills, somatic work, intensives, and innovations like EMDR 2.0 (Ad de Jongh & Suzy Matthijssen).
• The field’s shift toward cultural humility and anti-racist practice, and why it matters for outcomes and equity.
• An invitation to Ad & Suzy’s New Orleans training on Oct 24–25, 2025 (live + virtual) on complex trauma, dissociation, and personality disorders.

Whether you’re fresh from Part 2 or years into EMDR, this episode will help you practice with confidence, find (or build) the right community, and keep your skills both ethical and current.

Guest: Carol Miles — trainer, consultant, and host of the South Louisiana EMDR Regional Network • https://carolmiles.com

Don't forget to check out the training Carol mentioned with Ad de Jongh and Suzy Matthijssen, hosted in person in New Orleans with virtual seat options available. Head over to Carol's website for more details.

Also, if you're interested in the training Jen talked about in the intro with Sarah Butler, check out the event page here: Understanding Intensive EMDR and use the promo code BEYOND55 for 20% off!

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EMDR 2.0: A Conversation with Suzy Matthijssen & Ad de Jongh

Recorded live at the EMDRIA conference, Bridger and Jen sit down with the developers of EMDR 2.0, Suzy Matthijssen and Ad de Jongh. Together, they explore how intensive trauma treatment, working memory taxation, and reconsolidation theory are shaping the next generation of EMDR. From four-sessions-a-day protocols to online innovations born during COVID, this conversation brings cutting-edge clinical research into dialogue with the everyday realities of client care.

Summary

In this special conference episode of Notice That, Jen and Bridger interview Suzy Matthijssen and Ad de Jongh, two of the leading voices behind EMDR 2.0. The conversation moves between history, research, and practice, offering clinicians a front-row seat to the evolution of trauma treatment.

Key Themes:

• Origins of Intensive Trauma Treatment
• Suzy and Ad describe how intensive models—four sessions a day across multiple days—emerged from working with treatment-resistant clients and evolved further during the pandemic into effective online formats.
• The Science of EMDR 2.0
• They outline three core pillars:

1. Activation – ensuring traumatic memories are fully brought into working memory.
2. Taxation – increasing working memory load through diverse tasks (eye movements, spelling, music interference, etc.) to reduce vividness and emotionality.
3. Motivation – equipping clients to actively engage in bringing memories forward rather than passively relying on the therapist.

• Reconsolidation vs. Suppression
• The guests emphasize the importance of ensuring memories are altered and reconsolidated—not avoided or suppressed. Special techniques like blind-to-therapist protocols and flash-forward work help clients stay engaged while navigating shame, fear, or anticipatory anxiety.
• Rethinking Stabilization
• EMDR 2.0 challenges the assumption that long stabilization phases are necessary. Instead, therapists are encouraged to begin trauma processing sooner while maintaining attunement and supporting clients within their window of tolerance.
• The Future of EMDR
• Suzy and Ad share their vision of expanding EMDR beyond PTSD guidelines into personality disorders, depression, and anxiety—arguing that wherever intrusive memories or imagery are at the core of symptomatology, EMDR should play a central role.

This episode highlights how EMDR 2.0 builds on the original eight-phase protocol while integrating decades of research, pointing toward a future where trauma treatment is more efficient, intensive, and broadly applied.

If you want to learn more about EMDR 2.0, head over to www.enhancingtraumatreatment.com

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