Mom and Mind

431: Behind the Sessions: Letting go of Guilt About Not Being Present in Postpartum


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Today’s episode explores a crucial topic that warrants our attention. We are discussing the after-effects of postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, and perinatal mental health conditions. The lingering sense of guilt, sadness, regret, grief, anger, and frustration comes as a result of feeling that you weren’t present during the postpartum time. How much time does it take to “make up” for that time that you felt disconnected and anything but joyful about motherhood? Do you feel that you missed important milestones in your baby’s life? All of these are important questions that many mothers wrestle with in a constant mental battle. Let’s take a closer look.

Show Highlights:

  • Where does the unreasonable pressure come from?

  • Are you punishing yourself?

  • The truth: You WERE there in all the ways you could manage at the time.

  • You do acts of love and caring, even if you don’t feel like doing them.

  • What you need now is what you needed then: compassion, support, and loving thoughts.

  • Self-compassion brings gentleness into the picture.

  • Healing needs to happen (and that means allowing yourself to grieve).

  • Dr. Kat leads a healing exercise to try on your own. (Try it!)

  • Your healing is valid and worthwhile, even if you can’t see it yourself.

    Resources:

    Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA or visit cdph.ca.gov

    Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773. There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to be more supportive in offering services. 

    You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms.

    Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  

    Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!

    If you are a California resident looking for a therapist in perinatal mental health, email me about openings for private pay clients!

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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    Mom and MindBy Katayune Kaeni, Psy.D., PMH-C

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