Good Inside with Dr. Becky

Melinda French Gates has run some of the most powerful rooms in the world. She co-founded and co-chaired the Gates Foundation. She's sat across from heads of state. And in her 40s, at the top of her career, she started doubting herself in meetings she'd run a hundred times before.

She talks to Dr. Becky about why: chronic insomnia; undiagnosed perimenopause; a body that had learned, years earlier, to override its own signals, first in a male-dominated work culture, then in a college relationship that taught her not to trust her own read on things.

They get into a Gallup survey Melinda’s organization Pivotal Ventures ran this year of 5,000 adults, where half the respondents who'd been pregnant said they struggled with their mental health during or after it. And they talk about what Melinda calls the "10,000 paper cuts": the small, repeated moments, a comment talked over in a meeting, a doctor who doesn't quite listen, that teach women to stop trusting their own gut long before anyone tells them to, directly, all at once.

Becky and Melinda work out what actually rebuilds that trust, in doctors' offices and living rooms alike. Plus: what Melinda's granddaughters are teaching her about the phrase "I'm not ready yet," and the running joke she and her own kids share that perfect is creepy.

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Thanks to Carter’s, Good Inside’s new Confidence Program is free for every family for the next six months. Click here to learn more.

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Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible:

• Frida: Shop Frida at Amazon, Target, and Walmart today
• Perelel: Use code GOODINSIDE for 20% off your first order at perelelhealth.com/GOODINSIDE
• Yoto: Get 15% off your order with the code DRBECKY15 at YotoPlay.com. New customers only, ends October 31, offer valid on select products only. Terms apply.
• Care.com: For a limited time, you can use the code BECKY35 to save 35% on a Care.com Premium Membership.**Offer applies to initial term of http://Care.com membership subscriptions. Not applicable to add-on features or non-renewing access fees or services. Expires 10/31/26. Care.com does not employ or place any caregiver. Background checks are an important start, but they have limits. Visit www.care.com/safety.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Two parents came to Dr. Becky on the same day, both worried about their kid's confidence. One had a kid who wouldn't join the group. The other had a teenager who wouldn't leave the group. Dr. Becky says: maybe confidence isn’t what we think it is. She breaks down what confidence actually means, then she names three things well-meaning parents do that quietly work against building that kind of confidence.

Thanks to Carter’s, Good Inside’s new Confidence Program is free for every family for the next six months. Click here to learn more.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Was today a good day? Did my kid seem happy? If the answer is no, even a little, it can feel like the whole day failed, like you failed.

Dr. Becky sits down with Kate Bowler, a professor at Duke University, to make the case that happiness might be the wrong thing to optimize for in the first place. Happiness, Kate argues, is really just ease: a hundred small circumstances lining up so nothing feels hard. Which means chasing it for your kids can quietly turn you into what Kate calls a professional happiness manager, smoothing every rough edge before it reaches them.

Joy is different. It doesn't need conditions to line up. It shows up in weird obsessions, a dumb dance in the kitchen, a dry pasta fight, a moment at the worst point in Kate's own life (she spent years navigating a serious cancer diagnosis) when something good found her anyway. Kate and Becky talk through what kids already understand about joy that adults forget, why so many moms don't believe joy is even available to them, and a practical exercise Kate uses to name the resentments that quietly block it.

Read A Blessing for Parents Who Are Trying, adapted from Kate Bowler’s latest book, Joyful, Anyway.

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Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible:

• Skylight: Get $30 off a 15-inch Skylight Calendar at myskylight.com/becky
• Girl Scouts: If you have a daughter in kindergarten through 12th grade, visit girlscouts.org to learn more
• Yoto: Get 15% off your order with the code DRBECKY15 at YotoPlay.com. New customers only, ends October 31, offer valid on select products only. Terms apply.
• Care.com: For a limited time, you can use the code BECKY35 to save 35% on a Care.com Premium Membership.*
• Offer applies to initial term of Care.com membership subscriptions. Not applicable to add-on features or non-renewing access fees or services. Expires 10/31/26. Care.com does not employ or place any caregiver. Background checks are an important start, but they have limits. Visit www.care.com/safety.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Chris Voss is a former FBI lead kidnapping negotiator, bestselling author of Never Split The Difference, and founder and CEO of The Black Swan Group; a negotiation, training, coaching, and consulting organization that teaches people how to achieve better outcomes in high-stakes conversations. Today, he teaches some of these same skills to parents - and it turns out the thing that gets a hostage-taker to put down a weapon isn't that different from what gets your eight-year-old to put down the tablet.

Obviously, kids aren’t actual hostage-takers, but in this conversation, Chris and Dr. Becky get into why kids saying "no" is actually a sign of a healthy nervous system, not defiance. Why "how was your day" always gets you "fine," and the one-word fix that doesn't. Why asking your kid "why" almost always backfires, and what to ask instead. And the reframe Chris uses with his own team to get a reluctant partner, coworker, or teenager to actually engage: "are you against this?"

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Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible:

• Frida: Shop Frida at Amazon, Target, and Walmart today
• Airbnb: Host your home or book your next stay on Airbnb
• SmartyPants: Shop SmartyPants Vitamins at Target, Walmart, or Amazon today
• Care.com: For a limited time, you can use the code BECKY35 to save 35% on a Care.com Premium Membership.*
• Offer applies to initial term of Care.com membership subscriptions. Not applicable to add-on features or non-renewing access fees or services. Expires 10/31/26. Care.com does not employ or place any caregiver. Background checks are an important start, but they have limits. Visit www.care.com/safety.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Misty Copeland grew up sleeping on a motel floor with five siblings, unsure where the next meal was coming from. At 13, she walked into her first ballet class and felt something she'd never felt before: safe. Dr. Becky talks with the first Black woman to become a principal dancer at American Ballet Theatre about the years she was asked to paint her skin to match the rest of the corps, the mentors who taught her to advocate for herself, and what confidence looks like once you stop having to prove it. Plus: how she's raising her own son with the stability she spent her childhood without, and why she still wants him to struggle a little.

Misty Copeland has written a new book for middle grade readers called “Firebird Waltz” - the first in a new series called Star Fire Academy.

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Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible:

• Skylight: Get $30 off a 15-inch Skylight Calendar at myskylight.com/becky
• SmartyPants: Shop SmartyPants Vitamins at Target, Walmart, or Amazon today
• Frida: Shop Frida at Amazon, Target, and Walmart today
• Oso & Me: Use the code OSOGOOD15 for 15% off clothes newborn through age ten

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

We all know too much screen time isn’t good for kids—and our instinct as parents is to protect them from it. But when fear shapes how we manage screens at home, it can quickly turn into shame the moment they pick one up.

In today’s world, where screens are woven into so much of daily life, the real challenge is to face that reality with thoughtfulness – and to make choices guided by our values, not by guilt. In this favorite episode from the archive, Dr. Becky sits down with screen time expert Ash Brandon, EdS (@thegamereducator) to talk about the moral judgments, practical boundaries, and family-specific choices that shape our approach to screens.

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Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible:

*Offer applies to initial term of Care.com membership subscriptions. Not applicable to add-on features or non-renewing access fees or services. Expires 10/31/26. Care.com does not employ or place any caregiver. Background checks are an important start, but they have limits. Visit www.care.com/safety.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Twelve weeks of parental leave. Then you're back at your desk, wondering why it feels so hard.

Today we’re posting an episode from Rattled, our podcast for parents of newborns and babies, because it’s about something everybody experiences. It’s the final part of our three-part series with Care.com on finding care for your baby, and it's about a transition nobody preps you for: going back to work.

Dr. Becky sits down with Lauren Smith Brody, journalist and author of The Fifth Trimester, who's interviewed hundreds of working moms about this exact moment (and lived it herself). Lauren calls her own first day back "the second cutting of the cord." She's got names for feelings you didn't know had names: benevolent discrimination, gatekeeping, the 0.5x version of yourself who has to show up the second you walk through your front door.

They also get practical: how to turn decisions into systems before decision fatigue wrecks your evening, what a "ramp up" program actually looks like, and why mom guilt is, in Lauren's words, "a sexist, classist social construct" you can solve for like a math problem.

This episode is brought to you in partnership with Care.com. Find background-checked nannies, sitters, and daycares at Care.com, and use code BECKY35 for 35% off your membership.

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Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible:

*Offer applies to initial term of Care.com membership subscriptions. Not applicable to add-on features or non-renewing access fees or services. Expires 10/31/26. Care.com does not employ or place any caregiver. Background checks are an important start, but they have limits. Visit www.care.com/safety.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

If you’ve yelled at your kid, you’re not a bad parent. You’re a good parent with an overwhelmed nervous system. In today’s revisit from the Good Inside archives, Dr. Becky breaks down the science behind yelling, snapping, and shutting down. She explains why our bodies react before our brains can catch up – and how understanding this will help you pause, reset, and reconnect.

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Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible:

*Offer applies to initial term of Care.com membership subscriptions. Not applicable to add-on features or non-renewing access fees or services. Expires 10/31/26. Care.com does not employ or place any caregiver. Background checks are an important start, but they have limits. Visit www.care.com/safety.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Your kid hits. Melts down the second you leave the house. Argues about everything, all day, every single day. You've tried the time-outs, the consequences, the calm-down corner. Nothing works. Why are we always at that cliff?

Dr. Becky spent two hours in a Reddit thread literally called "Nothing Works" and pulled three real posts to build this episode. Her answer: you're intervening at the cliff, when the real leverage is on the road that led there. She walks through the exact minute-by-minute buildup (the snack request, the "just one more minute," the phone glance) where a parent could've exited before the blowup, plus scripts you can actually use.

Back to school brings big changes - new routines, new teachers, new challenges. Our new Back To School program helps you prepare for day one, navigate tricky moments, and build your kid's resilience.

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Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What does depression look like? It’s not always… sadness. It can be anger. Irritability. Picking fights. Checking out. Taking risks that don't make sense. It can look, to everyone around you — including you — like a character problem, not a medical condition.

Christopher Choukalas is an ICU physician at UCSF. Six months after his twin daughters were born, he had every symptom on the paternal postpartum depression list. He had no idea.

In this episode, Dr. Becky and Dr. Choukalas go through the symptom list live — and talk about why this form of depression is so easy to miss, what it costs the whole family when it goes unnamed, and what getting help actually looked like for one father who needed it badly.

Christopher G. Choukalas, MD, MS is the author of Even the Darkest Night: A Father's Journey of Hope and Healing from Paternal Depression.

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Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.