Belly of the Beast Life Stories with David All

This story reveals the overall pattern of transformation — the secret recipe of each personal Belly of the Beast Life Story. Once you hear the pattern - you’ll see it coming up in our podcast and with those around you.

Wisdom for our Soul, Courage for your Journey. In Belly, we share our extraordinary life stories of personal transformation to illustrate the nature of personal transformation. Beyond helps us go beyond personal stories to comprehend the overall pattern of transformation. 

 

EPISODE SUMMARY

– The first stage of transformation is ‘forced change’ which is the event which triggers the process of transformation

– We use Dr. Julian Gold’s diagnosis of cancer (Season 1, Episode 2) where he was diagnosed and days later was in the hospital for treatment

– A health event is one category of forced change that “truly cannot be stuffed down anymore”

– In the actual forced event itself — and in your own forced change in your life — understand the overall meaning in the event itself

– Allegory versus symbol; rise above why it’s happening and understand that it is happening and how will you respond to it

– From forced change, the caterpillar goes into the cocoon stage, and we use an excerpt from Chip Conley’s story (Season 1, Episode 13) to illustrate the “dark, gooey stage” of life

– Jobi Manson’s story(Season 1, Episode 11) illustrates the role of surrender as the final stage before climbing up into being a butterfly

– Holocaust survivor Martha Sternbach’s story (Season 1, Episode 1) of erupting as a butterfly 50 years after the Holocaust ended is our example of emergence - Climbing Up 

QUOTABLES

“The question that’s more interesting and relevant to me and ultimately helpful in my experience is what is the overall meaning of this event [forced change that leads to transformation]?”

 “The true transformative surrender is always forced. It always feels forced. If you willingly do it and try to maintain control, it’s not quite the real thing.”

 “So when that transformation happens… Your narrative about your self changes. And then you, in your essence, also change.”

GUEST RESOURCES

Artie Wu’s healing center: http://bit.ly/presidelife (http://bit.ly/presidelife)

Facebook community: http://bit.ly/PresideFB (http://bit.ly/PresideFB)

On Instagram: http://bit.ly/artieIG (http://bit.ly/artieIG)

ENABLE OUR MISSION

Your podcast is a sacred space and judgment free zone. It's free of advertising and outside influence -- 100% listener supported.

A podcast where you can feel safe to listen and know that you're not alone. Transformation is scary, but not a single butterfly has ever attempted to climb back into the cocoon.

To keep us advertising free and support our mission to heal, inspire and shape lives with extraordinary personal life stories, chip-in $5 a month at https://www.bellystory.com/support/ (BellyStory.com/support).

Thank you for listening.

Warmly,

David All

Creator, Storyteller, Producer

 

CO-CREATE OUR PODCAST

To submit your story, sign-up for new episode emails, contact us or support our mission with a donation, visit:

https://www.bellystory.com (BellyStory.com)

This story is a discussion about the origin story of Belly of the Beast Life Stories with our advisor, Artie Wu. 

Wisdom for our Soul, Courage for your Journey. In Belly, we share our extraordinary life stories of personal transformation to illustrate the nature of personal transformation. Beyond helps us go beyond personal stories to comprehend the overall pattern of transformation.

EPISODE SUMMARY

Artie Wu describes the origin of Belly of the Beast Life Stories from his perspective as a longtime friend and advisor to David All

The meaning behind the term, “Belly of the Beast”

Discussing the overall pattern of transformation using the metaphor of a caterpillar, down into her cocoon, and climbing up a butterfly

Biblical story of Jonah and the Whale

Modern examples of the Belly story pattern include Star Wars and The Matrix (films)

The difference between grief and depression and why accepting the meaning of your pain matters

 

QUOTABLES

“Belly of the Beast really is an allusion to some call it ‘hero’s journey.’ Some call it sort of transformations people go through over the course of their life cycles. And there are many ways to describe that.”

 “There’s a natural shape of the transformation process in a person’s life in a phase they go through in nature. And, you know, one metaphor that comes up a lot is that of a caterpillar turning into a butterfly.”

“In the Bible story, [Belly of the Beast is] an allusion to Jonah and the whale.”

“In classic Star Wars, the belly of the beast is the trash compactor in the belly of the Death Star. In The Matrix, for instance, the belly of the beast is when Neo actually physically dies and then comes back completely transformed, knowing he has his powers.”

“Like for instance, when we talk about the difference between grief and depression. Grief is when you’ve had a loss and you actively, willingly sit with it and just sit with the pain of a loss and you don’t run away from the pain. You actively go down into the belly of the beast. You go down into grief, you go down into your cocoon phase. Depression is where you say, no, no, run away. Get away. Get away. Numb it with alcohol, numb it with drugs, with or whatever. And you keep running from this pain you know is coming. And eventually a hand comes up, grabs you and drags you down anyway. That’s the difference.”

GUEST RESOURCES

Artie Wu’s healing website: http://bit.ly/presidelife (http://bit.ly/presidelife)

Facebook community: http://bit.ly/PresideFB (http://bit.ly/PresideFB)

On Instagram: http://bit.ly/artieIG (http://bit.ly/artieIG)

ENABLE OUR MISSION

Your podcast is a sacred space and judgment free zone. It's free of advertising and outside influence -- 100% listener supported.

A podcast where you can feel safe to listen and know that you're not alone. Transformation is scary, but not a single butterfly has ever attempted to climb back into the cocoon.

To keep us advertising free and support our mission to heal, inspire and shape lives with extraordinary personal life stories, chip-in $5 a month at https://www.bellystory.com/support/ (BellyStory.com/support).

Thank you for listening.

Warmly,

David All

Creator, Storyteller, Producer

CO-CREATE OUR PODCAST

To submit your story, sign-up for new episode emails, contact us or support our mission with a donation, visit:

https://www.bellystory.com (BellyStory.com)

At 21, actor Maximilian Acevedo's story of growing up in a difficult childhood and surviving it is what has made him who he is today. He first pulled himself up and took control of his own life to become a fitness model. Now he's an actor recently co-starring in Netflix's Babysitter 2.

EPISODE SUMMARY

- The formative years: Max reflects on traumatic events from his childhood

- Looking at his dad through the glass window when he visited him in jail

- While his father was in jail, random men would physically and mentally abuse Max

- Max recalls as a little child why he was even alive

- At 14, Max took control of his life when he joined a gym

- He developed a strong work ethic and a passion for working out

- They gym became Max’s escape from the fighting and abuse at home

- Max was in a lot of fights in middle school - getting picked on and bullied for wearing vibrant clothes

- High school Max gained muscle and decided not to bully or fight anyone

- Max was participating in fitness competitions

- In Reno after high school, Max was struck by a calling to entertain - to start acting - to move back to Los Angeles

- His mother supported him and they made the move

- Max’s acting career is taking off - he credits his formative childhood without blame or regrets

- Max has many goals but one is making an impact for others through philanthropy

QUOTABLES

“Well, you know, my mom at the time growing up, she'd try her best as well as my dad. You know, to the best of our abilities, whatever they thought was good at being good parents. But, you know, it probably wasn't really the right fit for them to have kids to begin with. And so in situations like that, then again, ask myself at times, and I was so young but it's crazy I would think like, why am I alive? Like, why am I going through this? You know, I don't get it. What did I do? And then when you're a little kid, you can't explain that also to anyone because you just don't even know how to but you're thinking it. You know, you're aware. Kids are very smart, intuitive, smarter than adults think.”

“[My dad] wasn't able to comprehend that kind of love and be proud of me for something, you know?”

“Unlucky. Sad. Happy, sometimes. Life changing. Traumatic. Lonely. Cold. Confusing. Scary. Mm mm mm.... Sometimes a blur as my mind would wanna block out everything toxic that was going around, so it would just be a big blur.”

“Like I started working out and then I started gaining major work ethic and that sense from my health and and physical look. And then that's when I just started realizing, you know, okay, now I'm slowly kind of starting to turn into a young man, you know, a young adult.”

“It was the control. Yeah me being able to, like, start controlling, like things about my life. Like now I'm being an adult, I'm not really a kid. You know my parents can't really say too much now about this, about that.I taught myself everything. I never once had a personal trainer. Everything was self-taught or research or other adults in the gym helped me out teaching me stuff.”

“Yeah. My parents would be fighting. You know, there'd be no money for food or the bills or whatever or even, you know, again, when my dad would be kind of not the best mentally abusing me a bit. Whatever, you know, I would leave. And no matter what it's just I had, this... just like the Rock says, like this iron paradise where I would go there. And I'm just out.”

“Now things are happening the way they should and and I still have to put in a lot of work and keep climbing up, but the climb as much prettier now and the view is getting a lot clearer and the fog has diminished from sight and I can see where I'm going.”

“Maybe Emmy Nominee. An Oscar nominee. MTV Movie Awards nominee, Motivational speaker. Traveller. Adventurer. World Changer. Founder of Foundations to help people of all ages, colors, different regions of the world. People that deserve the most help. To have a fighting chance to live the...

At the age of 24, Jobi Manson made a decision that would forever change the course of her life. An experienced surfer, she misjudged the location of a sandbar when she dove headfirst into the ocean, breaking her neck and spending the next moments facedown in the ocean, paralyzed.

Like a scene out of a movie, Jobi survived the accident and learned a valuable lesson that she had to break her neck to reconnect with herself. This discovery led her to start a coaching practice that takes place in the healing and centering powers of the ocean.

EPISODE SUMMARY

- At 24, Jobi Manson was living and working in Venice Beach, CA

- On a hot day in early July, a friend challenged Jobi to get in the ocean - You Only Live Once (‘YOLO’)

- That moment she ran and dove in, misjudging the location of a sandbar

- Jobi crushed a vertebrae in her neck and nearly died face down and paralyzed in the water but was able to will herself to move

- Though she could move, severity of the injury wasn’t clear until the doctor told her she may be paralyzed for the rest of her life

- The surgery was successful and Jobi was sent home a few days later

- Family was around but it was primarily a traumatic experience that Jobi faced alone

- She felt a deep shame for the accident - there’s no record of it ever happening

- Several years after the accident, Jobi would finally heal the persistent pain in her neck with help from a dolphin whisperer and a dolphin that sent an energy wave through her body

- Looking back, Jobi sees the accident as being anything but that -- it was a homecoming and a chance to live a different life

QUOTABLES

“And I'll never forget this: I turned to one of my coworkers and I was like I'm just gonna sit this one out and she looks at me and she was like, Jobi 'You Only Live Once.' And as she said that, I ran and I dove headfirst into the ocean and nothing, I blacked out. My arms went above my head and I smashed into a sandbar. And I don't know how long I was blacked out, but I came to and I realized I couldn't feel anything beneath my neck. I was completely paralyzed and immobilized. And I was face down in the ocean."

“And so as I lay there motionless in the ocean, my body was moving, but because of water, not from my own will. And I told myself that I had to get up. And I told myself that over and over and over again until about probably I imagined five, six, seven minutes later I was able to stand and I couldn't hold my head up. I've always been a bit physically reckless. But this was by far a threshold I had yet to breach.”

“And I was mortified. I was so embarrassed because everything that led up to that moment was me trying to prove myself.”

“You have seven vertebrae in your neck and you crushed number five. And you may, in fact, be paralyzed, even though you can move now.”

“And there's an overwhelming sense of: I am right here, right now. And it was such a humbling catapult into my body in a way that I think I had spent the first 24 years of my life running away from.”

“I thank, you know, the powers that be that it happened in this country. There have been many times in my life where I've been on beaches that are very remote. And I was extremely lucky to have that kind of accident happen when I was so close to the best possible medical care there could be. I used to feel very invincible. I don't anymore at all. And there was something very special that happened that day. It was probably the most important moment in my life.”

“The paralyzing fear of what life could look like without movement was and is not acceptable to me that I couldn't live that way. I'm sure I could. I wouldn't want to.”

“I love life. I love being out in the world with the elements, with nature, with people. To be, to have that taken away from me would be worse than death.”

“The ocean is my home. It's my family. It's where I go to be myself. It's where I have the best time being myself. It's...

Scotty Brown's Belly story centers around his rough and tumble days in Chicago. At a very young age Scotty was a drug kingpin by day and a rock n roll partier by night. This lifestyle caught up with him and getting out wasn't as easy as it might seem. Several decades later, and sober for that same amount of time, Scotty's story, and ongoing work in addiction and recovery, has touched thousands of lives.

EPISODE SUMMARY

- Our story begins decades ago when Scotty Brown woke up in a mental institution - and we return to this moment later in the story as the moment of surrender

- At an early age, Scotty Brown was involved with selling drugs, making a lot of money, and spending that money on toys like a condo in Chicago and a Mercedes in San Francisco

- His condo in Chicago earned him the nickname ‘Downtown’ Scotty Brown because it was downtown

- In his early 20s, the lifestyle started to catch up with him -- ultimately he moved from Chicago to San Francisco to live a ‘healthier’ life because the bars weren’t open all night and health food joints were everywhere.

- He grew up with some well-known mafia families and told us that he was mobbed up.

- Scotty was selling 50-pound bales of marijuana at a time.

- He was selling and using and overdoing it - the lifestyle was catching up

- Scotty was paranoid and not sleeping and had a psychotic break which led him to the mental institution

- Over time, Scotty realized that he had no control over people, places and things and all he could do was take care of himself which eventually led him to ask to be moved up to the drug rehab department

-He wanted serenity and luckily he was rocketed into the ‘Fourth Dimension’ -- he was given a whole new lease on life

- Recovery is a daily lifetime practice -- the wily Scotty Brown still wants to come out

- 10 years ago Scotty battled cancer and many of the people he has helped through addiction and recovery told him how special he was to them - that he had saved their life - a spiritually fulfilling feeling

- Scotty was a catalyst for the SOBA Recovery Center in Malibu, CA

QUOTABLES

“I'm here to save you because at this moment in time in my life, I thought I was the savior of the world, the second coming. And that's never a good thing. That's a lot of stress, you know, trying to save the world. LOL. ”

“A couple of them [in the mafia] were pretty successful in the business like myself. I was a good salesman. So, yeah, I worked with them and, you know, I guess you could say we were all mobbed up. You know. You just fall into it by doing that enterprise. You know, criminal.”

“I always knew I drank and and used a lot, so I tried not to do it. What I thought was fun and games, you know, became a career. So that was a lot of fun... Until it wasn't. It all catches up to you. And asking... I'd be so high, God, help me, please bring me down, I'll never do it again. I know I said that last week. And like the third time, I'm like, man, I'm powerless over this.”

“I guess I'm part of the mob. You know, we're a group of guys that get together. Doesn't matter what nationality you are or anything like that. We're in a criminal enterprise and we don't want anyone to know and we're the mob.”

“You know, I wanted to change, that's where I pretty much bottomed out when I realized where ever I went, there I was, I couldn't escape myself.”

“But my life was unmanageable, I didn’t want to accept it, and it just clicked. You know, like a light bulb went off man, and I told myself that's what I'm doing!! I'm running around trying to save the world and not taking a look at myself. All I do is take, take, take, I'm powerless over people, places and things. I was focusing on the outside world but then I realized, all I can do is take care of myself . I went right up to the nurse and said, I'm a drug addict and an alcoholic, put me on the drug and alcohol ward,and they did. It was like the biggest weight lifted...

Zaid Gayle was raised in a deeply religious family that was influential in the Black Panther Party. This Belly story illustrates how Zaid came to terms with spirituality through his own lived experience.

Zaid is the co-founder and executive director of Peace4Kids, a nonprofit that provides a safe space for youth in foster care to build meaningful relationships with each other and adults.

EPISODE SUMMARY

- Zaid is an L.A. native with a deep spiritual grounding

- At the age of 27, Zaid’s relationship with his wife and his non-profit take a nose dive

- A fertility doctor told Zaid it was his ‘fault’ they couldn’t have a baby

- A vegan, Zaid didn’t want to take fertility drugs which have proved to cause multiple pregnancies, etc.

- In this spiritual crisis, a member of Zaid’s board of directors invites him to take ‘earth medicines’ in Joshua Tree

- The experience/trip opens new understandings about both his relationships and the future of his non-profit

- Zaid pivots to the new relationship and she gets pregnant quickly

- Through these difficult times, Zaid realizes the beauty in the fragility of life and shifts his life to focus less on control and more being present

QUOTABLES

“And I woke up one day and she told me she was no longer interested in us being married. And it was hard for me to understand that from the perspective of what I've been taught in my spiritual training and my spiritual life.

“You grow up in this spiritual world and my interpretation of that was you suppressed all those emotional energies that don't represent joy and happiness and prosperity and abundance and all those things that we think we want to have an experience of in our life. We don't talk a lot about the shadow side and the depths and the darkness.

“The things that I've been taught to use weren't working and I didn't know how to ask for help. And so that spiral just got deeper and deeper and deeper. And I went in to this this solid well of depression where I was literally crying every day in and and unable to sleep.

“But in this situation, my son was like, that's the mother. If you want to bring me onto the planet, you need to connect with her.

“I say, look, I know it's going to sound crazy, but you're supposed to be the mother of my child. And she said, no, no, I'm down. And a month later, she was pregnant.

“When we think about what was happening to Peace4Kids at that time -- I had to walk into a board meeting and tell them that I had failed. And I was used to always winning and figuring it out on my own.

“And so, you know, in my life, I have all this this sadness and I'm failing in every aspect of who I believe I am as a human being. Right. This community leader who's leading an organization that serves youth in foster care. These people who are my staff were depending on me to do my job well so that they could feed their families. And I'm telling them all that I failed and feeling highly responsible because I've had to tell the same thing to my wife that I failed and I'm unable to create the family that we were committed to having.

“And this idea of me standing as this big figure, this looming figure in all of these areas of my life, and then looking at myself in the mirror and saying, you suck. None of these things that you think you are is who you are. And part of it for me was then to reflect like, how did I get to this identity of self? And that question became something that was really present for me. And that was the question that broke me down, you know? That was the question that made me have so many sleepless nights because I felt like I'd been lying to myself my whole life.

“And now I started a whole new chapter with someone else before the divorce papers are even signed.

“There's a lot of aspects to who we are and that your darkness, these places that we're afraid to go to can have a lot of light and have a lot of energy and...

After a botched knee surgery, Harsh Verma went to the Shaolin Temple in China and became the first non-Chinese national warrior monk. Kung Fu originates from Shaolin.

EPISODE SUMMARY

- Harsh was an elite athlete and at an early age played pro soccer

- Too much calcium led to a need for what should have been a rather typical knee surgery

- During surgery, doctors discovered a large tumor that had to be removed

- Harsh’s recovery post-surgery wasn’t working

- A good friend pointed him in the direction of martial arts

- Harsh landed on the world famous Shaolin Temple in China, known as both the founding place for Zen Buddhism and Kung Fu

- Shaolin Temple is also an alternative medicine facility and Harsh decided it could help with his recovery

- Shaolin’s roots point back to Bodhidarma, a famous Indian Eminent Monk and the 28th Patriarch of Buddha

- Harsh had to use translation apps to figure out how to communicate in the beginning

- At nine months, Harsh was fluent in Chinese

Harsh spent a total of four years in Shaolin Temple

- After feeling fully recovered in month 7, Harsh never considered going back to soccer or to make films in Bollywood

- At 1.5 years, Harsh told the Temple that he had to leave because he couldn’t afford to stay; the abbot and others ultimately extended an opportunity to Harsh to stay and become a Warrior Monk - the first non-Chinese to be offered such an opportunity

- Harsh discusses why he left the temple -- to spread the message and may ultimately take the monastery up on its offer to open an Indian branch of the Shaolin Temple

QUOTABLES

“And if I don't sweat, I don't feel good.”

“If you want to do something really different. If you want to be out there and make a change for your own self. You need to take that big risk.”

“ So Shaolin Temple is based on the three basic principles as called in Chinese we say, Chan, Wu and Yi. Chan is like Buddhism, the Zen part, the Zen Buddhism part. Wu is wushu. That's martial arts. And Yi is Yio, the medicine part.”

“ So when you start picturing yourself wanting to be somewhere, you're doing it already. That's the first step of getting there. That's the first thing I learned at Shaolin Temple. And the second thing I learned was listening.”

“ Basically, if there's no passion in what you're doing - doesn't make sense doing it.”

“ Nobody in this world has ever got this opportunity. I mean, after Bodhidharma, there has never been an Indian who was adopted by the temple to become a warrior monk.”

“I look back at it and I think about it as if that wouldn't have happened to me. I wouldn't be in the place that I am right now.”

TRANSCRIPT AVAILABLE

https://inourbelly.com/season-1/episode-8-harsh-verma

Learn more about Harsh Verma

https://vimeo.com/284802786 (Indian in the Temple), a short documentary about Harsh Verma

Harsh has started https://warriormonkacademy.com/ (Warrior Monk Academy) in India

https://www.instagram.com/shaolinwarrior_verma/ (@shaolinwarrior_verma) on Instagram

http://www.shaolin.org.cn/en/ (Shaolin Temple)

ENABLE OUR MISSION

Your podcast is a sacred space and judgment free zone. It's free of advertising and outside influence -- 100% listener supported.

A podcast where you can feel safe to listen and know that you're not alone. Transformation is scary, but not a single butterfly has ever attempted to climb back into the cocoon.

To keep us advertising free and support our mission to heal, inspire and shape lives with extraordinary personal life stories, chip-in $5 a month at https://www.bellystory.com/support/ (BellyStory.com/support).

Thank you for listening.

Warmly,

David All

Creator, Storyteller, Producer

CO-CREATE OUR PODCAST

To submit your story, sign-up for new episode emails, contact us or support our mission with a donation, visit:

https://www.bellystory.com/ (BellyStory.com)

Sam Malik shares his inspiring story of coming out gay.

EPISODE SUMMARY

- 21-year-old Sam Malik opens up about a childhood overcoming the challenges of being gay in a straight man’s world

- Being an ‘over achiever’ was a mask to hide his sexuality

- Difficulty of growing up in a family with cultural differences

- Homophobia wasn’t always blatant, but was always present

- Inferiority and feeling less than

- Butting heads with family and parents ultimately led to Sam coming out to them first

- Coming out proved to be even more a challenge - now to live your truth - what the hell is that!

- A series of events led to Sam coming out publicly

- He had organized several laptops, all social media, emails, and text messages to post the announcement at once

- And then he took a three hour ride on his bike and not looking at his devices

- When he opened them up, he read things he had needed to see his whole life - that it was okay, that his best friends were with him no matter what, that he wasn’t alone

- Sam makes recommendations to those still not out or thinking about coming out

QUOTABLES

“Because at the time that that meant to me that I was less than, and when you grow up hearing the things that I heard and being told in the church that being gay is less than, inferiority is the biggest fear. It's the worst kind of scary monster you can imagine.”

“That was the culmination of me growing up in survival mode, walking on eggshells, wondering if I was gonna get bullied or policed for every little behavior and if I was gonna be less than.”

“When I came out I had been spending so much-- I put so much energy into hiding and masking who I was and doing that with achievements and with grades and leadership and a business that people say when you come out it's this huge weight off your shoulders. You start to be who you are and live your authentic truth, right? Like that's what they say. But the reality for me was, all of these walls had suddenly broken down and I was left sitting in the middle of it, feeling totally exposed, wondering who the hell am I?”

“And at that point I wasn't even emotionally confused anymore. I wasn't sad. I was fed the fuck up. I needed to stop living this lie.”

“And I had to go through and just flag apologies and get them out over and over again. And I had to remove every ounce of apologetic tone from this thing. And that took a lot of work. And I literally had an operation for this thing because I knew like this was the moment that I needed for myself and I was ready to own. And I was I was so ready for this. I had two laptops, and my phone, and on my phone I had an Instagram post loaded, that was the same thing as the Facebook post that was on my one laptop, and then my other laptop then had an email with two Gmail inboxes drafted to my grandparents because I wanted to tell them before them hearing from the general public. And then a couple text messages drafted to my best friends. And like within a matter of 30 seconds it was boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Send. Slammed those laptops closed. Put airplane mode on my phone. It's not going to be reversed. And maybe, just maybe, if there is hate, somebody who really needed to hear this is gonna get to hear it. And to me, that makes the whole thing worth it.”

“I'm proud of the person I am. I'm proud of the person I'm becoming. And I'm proud to be gay."

“I felt safe when I was alone. I felt safe when I was alone and like listening to music and and I felt safe when I was talking to like the less than a handful of either gay friends or a few more than a handful of like really amazing, incredible, supportive friends who truly thought no differently at me.”

Learn more about Sam Malik

Sam's company, Malik Media

Read Sam’s https://www.instagram.com/p/BUpcEwpDI3t/ (coming out post) on Instagram

Influencer Troye Sivan's https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoL-MnXvK80 (coming out story

Failure is a part of the entrepreneurship journey. The "dot com" bubble was a period of time when the Internet was booming and companies offering everything from pet supplies to streaming music went down the drain almost overnight.

Marcus Segal's story is one of becoming aware of the inner critic in our life that blames us for failing and limits our beliefs in what's possible in ourselves.

Failure is a speed bump, not a stop sign. Marcus is successful -- now the CEO of ForeVR Games and the former chief operating officer for Zynga, helping take the gaming company from dozens of employees to thousands.

EPISODE SUMMARY

- Marcus Segal had a successful career as a producer for TV shows on the History Channel and AandE when his estranged father’s death made him change gears

- In 1998, Marcus was lured to Silicon Valley during the first ‘dot com bubble’

- He found a job and ultimately a path to career growth at eMusic.com which was the first legal streaming music platform

- The company went public and when the VP of Human Resources left, Marcus was tapped; he had made it

- Napster, the pioneering peer-to-peer file sharing website that focused on music downloads, emerged and eroded eMusic.com’s value and relevance

- Shares dropped to $0.99 but Marcus was promoted to Chief Operating Officer

- Two acquisitions left the company on life support and Marcus was literally the last employee out of more than 400 and had to beg to be fired so he could move on

- Finally the road ended and Marcus’ inner critic took over the wheel

- Marcus had to get out of town to change his mindset and went to the Sahara Desert

- A calm night after a sandstorm with a nomadic family triggered gratitude and purpose

- Marcus returned to San Francisco with a renewed perspective, started a new startup, and began giving back to startups as a mentor

QUOTABLES

“At the time this is 1998 and the dot com boom Web 1.0 was really kicking off. You were reading about Internet millionaires and these, you know, women and men changing the world. And I decided that I wanted to be a part of what was next, that I didn't want to continue to spend my life telling the stories of what other courageous people had done in the past in these documentaries that I wanted to be a part of what was next.”

“The company (eMusic.com) went public. A V.P. of human resources left and I was tapped to take on that role. So now, boom, I'm a tech executive, which is really incredible because I majored in English literature in college. I had never written a line of code and I was just hungry and I just worked all the time and I was just thrilled.”

“So at that moment, eMusic was selling lemonade and Napster was giving away beer.”

“My great job of being the COO of this tech company became a job of rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.”

“I had something to prove. I needed adoration and love and respect. And the way that you got something like that in my family. My family is just loaded with overachievers is to achieve.”

“The idea of work life balance work was my life, and in work I found my balance.”

“C.O.O. of a fifty thousand square foot empty building.”

“But the stink of dot.com failure was on me and the whole of the Internet all of the tech companies were starting to hit the wall.”

“It felt like my inner critic and karma got together and just decided to fuck with me.”

“Then the story I had told myself: Once you have the money, you'll figure it out. Then I had the money but I had no idea how to figure it out.”

“I felt like a failure. A clown. A fuck up.”

“Something clicked and I realized that this whole thing, this whole being alive thing is so special and miraculous. That I could have just as easily been born to this family. It's you know, we're just energy. I realized that I had an attitude problem. That I need to climb out of this. I realize that happiness is a choice. I realized that I needed to choose happiness, that I needed to change my...