When was the last time you were truly present, not planning tomorrow or replaying yesterday? In this heartfelt episode of Below the Circle, Dr. Phyllis invites you to slow down, breathe, and notice where your mind has been living. Through personal stories, scripture, and honest coaching truth, she shares how autopilot can quietly steal our peace, our joy, and the moments happening right in front of us. Using Psalm 118:24, Dr. Phyllis reminds us that today is the day God has made, and presence is not something you have to earn. It is a practice you can begin again, one breath and one moment at a time.

Episode highlights:

(2:40) Welcome to episode 141 and the 52-week descent

(5:48) Today’s core question: when were you fully in a moment?

(7:14) The painful cost of living on autopilot

(9:40) Dr. Phyllis shares her personal story of missing moments

(15:16) Psalm 118:24 and the gift of today

(18:01) Presence is a muscle that can be rebuilt

(23:25) Three reflection questions for the week

(26:05) One simple practice to begin being present

(26:44) Preview of episode 142

(28:23) Invitation to the Landing Lounge

(30:25) Encouragement to share the episode with another woman

Connect with Dr. Phyllis: http://drphyllishayesreams.com/ https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/ https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

What if the exhaustion you feel is not weakness, but a warning signal asking you to be honest? In this heartfelt episode of Below the Circle, host Dr. Phyllis speaks to high-achieving women who look fine on the outside but feel empty, numb, and worn down inside. She shares the difference between normal tiredness and deep depletion, reminding listeners that constant pretending can cost them joy, peace, connection, and even a clear sense of self. Through her own story from 2019, Dr. Phyllis opens up about 1overcommitment, guilt, burnout, and the moment she realized something had to change. This episode is a caring call to stop performing, tell the truth, and take the first step toward landing in what matters most.

Episode highlights:

(0:28) The honest question behind “I’m fine.”

(2:31) The difference between tired and depleted

(3:49) Exhaustion is not weakness; it is a signal

(5:13) The hidden cost of pretending you are fine

(6:46) Dr. Phyllis shares her 2019 depletion story

(13:07) The first change needed is honesty

(14:37) Honesty is the runway for landing

(15:17) Permission to stop pretending

(16:18) Preview of next week’s episode on presence

Connect with Dr. Phyllis: http://drphyllishayesreams.com/ https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/ https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

Are you chasing success, or are you running from the pain you have not named? In this honest and deeply personal episode of Below the Circle, Dr. Phyllis invites you to look at the “buffet” of life, where titles, roles, achievements, and endless yeses can start to feel like proof that you are enough. Through her own story of high achievement, imposter syndrome, betrayal, leadership pressure, COVID-era stress, and a hard landing with God’s help, she shows why the next title will never heal an old wound. This episode is a loving call to stop piling your plate, stop circling above your hurt, and ask one brave question: What am I running from? Peace, joy, and real rest begin when you choose to land.

Episode highlights:

(0:00) Chasing achievement to feel enough

(2:11) The life-changing question: Are you chasing or running?

(4:08) Fulfillment, validation, permission, and labels

(10:10) Dr. Phyllis shares her personal story

(17:49) Medical school, imposter syndrome, and hard seasons

(20:13) Workplace betrayal and reopening old wounds

(25:56) Leadership, COVID, scleroderma, and burnout

(28:19) God’s hard landing and the wake-up call

(31:57) Why the chase will never heal the hurt

(35:41) The question to sit with this week

(37:18) Episode 140 teaser

Connect with Dr. Phyllis:

http://drphyllishayesreams.com/ https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/ https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

Why does slowing down feel more terrifying than the burnout already wearing you down? In this heartfelt episode of Below the Circle, Dr. Phyllis speaks to the woman who keeps pushing, serving, leading, and holding everything together while quietly feeling empty inside. She names five fears that keep women stuck on autopilot, including the fear of losing identity, being replaced, appearing weak, letting everything fall apart, and not knowing how to slow down. Through her own story of burnout, loss, and learning to land, Dr. Phyllis reminds listeners that true resilience is not absorbing everything. It is knowing when to pause, breathe, and reconnect with God, yourself, and the life waiting below the circle.

Episode highlights:

(0:00) Opening reflection on resilience and burnout

(1:45) Why slowing down feels so scary

(3:07) Welcome to Below the Circle

(4:23) Fear of losing your identity

(5:21) Fear of being replaced

(6:11) Redefining true resilience

(7:46) Fear that everything will fall apart

(8:53) Not knowing how to slow down

(11:01) Dr. Phyllis shares her personal turning point

(13:18) Lessons from her mother’s passing

(19:23) Slowing down helps you live with clarity

(21:13) Jeremiah 29:11 and trusting God’s plan

(23:06) A simple pause question for the week

(24:18) Preview of the next episode

Connect with Dr. Phyllis:

http://drphyllishayesreams.com/ https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/ https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

What if the life you’ve been searching for is right below you, but you’ve been too busy circling to see it? In this powerful opening episode, Dr. Phyllis speaks to the woman who is exhausted from always showing up for everyone else while feeling disconnected from herself. Using the image of a pilot stuck in the same sky, she explains how many women live on autopilot, calling it strength while quietly losing joy and purpose. She shares her own story of fear, release, and finally choosing to land. This episode offers hope, reminding you that slowing down is not failure, it’s the beginning of something real. You are not alone, and it’s time to come home to yourself.

Episode highlights:

(0:00) Dr. Phyllis’ personal story and connection

(0:29) Deep emotional exhaustion explained

(2:11) The “circling” life metaphor

(4:08) Hearing the call to change

(5:36) Letting go and learning to land

(7:11) Who this podcast is for

(8:23) Reconnecting with your true self

(9:30) Invitation to begin the journey

Connect with Dr. Phyllis: http://drphyllishayesreams.com/ https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/ https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

What if the woman everyone depends on is not the real you?

In this heartfelt episode, Dr. Phyllis speaks to women who have spent years being strong, dependable, and needed, yet feel disconnected from themselves. She explains how constant performance can become a place of safety, while slowly burying your true desires, joy, and identity. Through honest reflection, a personal story, and the truth of Jeremiah 1:5, she reminds listeners that who they are was never meant to be built on what they do. This episode offers a gentle but powerful call to slow down, get still, and begin asking one simple question: What do I actually want right now? Real change begins there, in small moments of honesty, courage, and care.

Episode highlights:

(0:00) Performance as a safety net

(2:32) Simple questions that reveal lost identity

(6:26) How women become roles instead of people

(9:40) Dr. Phyllis shares her own wake-up moment

(15:28) Jeremiah 1:5 and identity before performance

(20:36) Small choices that help you reconnect with yourself

(24:24) Why this feels uncomfortable

(27:53) This week’s practice

(29:54) Grief over losing yourself

(32:14) Why it is not too late

(35:29) Picture your younger self

(40:13) Next week’s question about busyness and avoidance

Connect with Dr. Phyllis:

http://drphyllishayesreams.com/

https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/

https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

What happens when staying busy becomes the only way you know how to function?

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis unpacks the pattern so many of us live in without questioning. We keep moving, managing, and showing up, but rarely slow down enough to actually feel our own lives. Over time, constant motion starts to feel normal, and stillness begins to feel uncomfortable.

This conversation gets to the root of that. The drive to keep going didn’t come out of nowhere. It was learned, and at one point, it likely served a purpose. But what once helped you navigate one season can quietly begin to hold you back in the next.

Dr. Phyllis draws an important distinction between crashing and choosing to rest. One happens when you’ve pushed too far. The other requires intention. Throughout the episode, she invites you to pause, pay attention to what you’re feeling, and notice when you’re slipping into autopilot.

This is a grounded reminder that stillness isn’t empty. It’s where clarity returns. And learning to slow down, even in small ways, is how you begin to show up for your life in a way that feels real again.

http://drphyllishayesreams.com/

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Have you ever caught yourself asking, is this really where I’m supposed to be? Or do you keep moving forward simply because it feels easier than stopping? Some seasons are spent reacting instead of pausing, seeking fulfillment in roles and routines that never truly feed the soul. Decisions stop being brought to God, and life runs on auto pilot, letting habit guide the way.

Repeated outcomes often appear without notice whether in toxic relationships, unfulfilling work, or patterns that feel impossible to escape. Subconscious choices keep familiar habits alive, even when they no longer serve. Expecting different results while repeating the same decisions only leads to frustration.

Breaking free from auto pilot requires courage. Courage to recognize patterns, courage to ask the hard questions, and courage to make different choices. Old habits will not lead to new promises.

Dr. Phyllis shares a practical tool to start shifting: identify one decision repeated out of habit, uncover the fear that keeps it in place, and take one courageous step this week to break the cycle. One intentional choice can open the door to a life aligned with purpose rather than routine.

For anyone ready to stop reacting and start choosing courage, this episode provides guidance to take the first step and move toward lasting change.

http://drphyllishayesreams.com/

https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/

https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

What happens when you realize you’ve been living on auto pilot?

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares her personal story and draws a powerful connection to the story of the prodigal son. It’s an honest look at what it feels like to drift, to lose sight of who you really are, and what it takes to come back.

She opens up about the moment she knew something had to change. The moment she realized that if she wanted to reclaim her identity, she had to return to Him. That decision didn’t just shift one area of her life. It changed how she navigates everything.

If you’ve ever felt disconnected, stuck in roles, or just going through the motions, this conversation will hit close to home. So many of us are prone to living on auto pilot, slowly losing connection with our true identity without even realizing it.

This episode is your reminder that you’re not too far gone. There is power in the return.

Dr. Phyllis also introduces The Return Framework, a simple and meaningful way to begin breaking free from auto pilot and take your first steps back to who you really are.

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares a deeper look into her personal journey of breaking out of autopilot and reconnecting with her true self.

She opens up about the pressure of trying to live up to the idea of the Proverbs 31 woman, focusing on what that looks like from the outside while never really considering what’s happening internally. There’s so much emphasis on her attributes and how she’s perceived, but not on how she actually experiences her life behind closed doors.

Dr. Phyllis reflects on a season where she was stuck in autopilot, constantly taking on new roles and responsibilities in an attempt to fill a void. Instead of finding clarity, she found herself more disconnected.

This episode walks through what that looked like and how it led her to start asking better questions about her purpose and her priorities.

She also introduces the Will Framework, a simple but powerful way to come back to yourself. This isn’t a one-time exercise. It’s something you return to over and over as your life shifts and grows.

If you’ve been feeling like you’re doing all the right things but still feel off, this conversation will help you pause, reflect, and reconnect with what actually matters.