Below The Circle™ with Dr. Phyllis

Have you been holding everyone else together so long that you fear you’ve missed your own life?

You’ve cared deeply, said yes from love, and kept going even when your own heart needed room to breathe. Maybe your full plate is not what is breaking your heart. Maybe it is the quiet fear that while you were taking care of everyone else, you lost touch with yourself.

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares the night she stood in her backyard, felt the wind on her face, and realized the life she loved had been waiting for her all along.

This is a gentle reminder that you have not missed your life. The ground is still there. The wind is still blowing.

It is not too late to come down, get aligned, and take off whole and free.

This week’s reflection:

What part of my life have I stopped feeling, and what ordinary moment can help me come back to it?

In this episode:

(0:00) The fear beneath the full plate

(1:50) When did you last feel present in your life?

(3:38) You have not missed your life

(4:27) Dr. Phyllis shares her role as an alignment coach

(6:18) You did not check out, you cared too much

(10:17) The night she felt the ground again

(14:58) What did high-altitude living take from you?

(17:47) Naming the grief under the busy life

(19:49) It is not too late to realign

(22:14) Introducing Align, the coaching community

(25:47) One simple landing moment to try today

(30:25) Share this with a woman who needs hope

Get Dr. Phyllis's Free Answer Guide, “What’s Yours to Carry — and What Isn’t — ten honest answers for the woman who holds everyone together.” Ten questions. Ten honest answers at thebelowthecircle.com.

What weight are you still holding that God has been asking you to release?

You’ve been capable, responsible, prepared, and strong for so long that putting something down may feel like failure. Maybe it’s a role, a title, a seat at the table, or the quiet need to keep proving yourself.

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares a personal story from 2020, when she was transitioning out of a leadership role and trying to hold on to another one. What felt like rejection became mercy. God’s “no” became the release she could not choose for herself.

This is a gentle reminder that surrender is not losing your grip. It is placing the weight in the hands that have been open all along.

You are allowed to set it down.

This week’s reflection:

What am I still holding that God has been asking me to release?

In this episode:

(0:29) The question God may be asking you

(2:57) Dr. Phyllis shares her 2020 leadership story

(5:04) Asking God for strength to carry what He was asking her to release

(7:52) The cost of proving yourself

(9:02) When God’s “no” becomes mercy

(12:02) Surrender is placing the weight in God’s hands

(13:16) The Landing Lounge waitlist: thebelowthecircle.com

Get Dr. Phyllis's Free Answer Guide, “What’s Yours to Carry — and What Isn’t — ten honest answers for the woman who holds everyone together.” Ten questions. Ten honest answers at thebelowthecircle.com.

What grief have you been carrying that you’ve been calling strength?

You’ve been busy, capable, dependable, and strong for so long that no one may have noticed how heavy it has become. Maybe even you forgot to ask what pain has been hiding underneath every yes, every role, every title, and every “I’m fine.”

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares a tender story of disappointment, loss, and the moment she realized she was not simply being strong. She was grieving. Through Psalm 23 and 1 Peter 5:7, she invites you to stop performing strength, bring your grief into the light, and ask God for the next step, not the whole plan.

You are allowed to set it down.

Get Dr. Phyllis's Free Answer Guide, “What’s Yours to Carry — and What Isn’t — ten honest answers for the woman who holds everyone together.” Ten questions. Ten honest answers at thebelowthecircle.com.

Connect with Dr. Phyllis:

Instagram/Facebook/Tik Tok: @drphyllishayesreams

LinkedIn: @drphyllishayesreams

Who are you when you take off every name tag you wear?

You’ve been so many things to so many people for so long, the woman underneath has gotten quiet. You can’t remember the last time someone asked who you were — not what you do, not who you take care of, not what role you fill — but who you ARE.

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis sits with you at a threshold she’s stood at herself. She tells you the story of the chair in her living room — the moment everything stripped away — and the verse from Luke that gave it language. This isn’t an episode you listen to in the background.

You are allowed to wonder who she is.

This week’s reflection:

Who are you when no one needs anything from you — when every name tag is set down?

Luke 15:17

“And when he came to himself…”

Get Dr. Phyllis's Free Answer Guide, “What’s Yours to Carry — and What Isn’t — ten honest answers for the woman who holds everyone together.” Ten questions. Ten honest answers at thebelowthecircle.com.

Connect with Dr. Phyllis:

IG, FB, Tik Tok: @drphyllishayesreams

When was the last time you were truly present, not planning tomorrow or replaying yesterday? In this heartfelt episode of Below the Circle, Dr. Phyllis invites you to slow down, breathe, and notice where your mind has been living. Through personal stories, scripture, and honest coaching truth, she shares how autopilot can quietly steal our peace, our joy, and the moments happening right in front of us. Using Psalm 118:24, Dr. Phyllis reminds us that today is the day God has made, and presence is not something you have to earn. It is a practice you can begin again, one breath and one moment at a time.

Episode highlights:

(2:40) Welcome to episode 141 and the 52-week descent

(5:48) Today’s core question: when were you fully in a moment?

(7:14) The painful cost of living on autopilot

(9:40) Dr. Phyllis shares her personal story of missing moments

(15:16) Psalm 118:24 and the gift of today

(18:01) Presence is a muscle that can be rebuilt

(23:25) Three reflection questions for the week

(26:05) One simple practice to begin being present

(26:44) Preview of episode 142

(28:23) Invitation to the Landing Lounge

(30:25) Encouragement to share the episode with another woman

Get Dr. Phyllis's Free Answer Guide, “What’s Yours to Carry — and What Isn’t — ten honest answers for the woman who holds everyone together.” Ten questions. Ten honest answers at thebelowthecircle.com.

Connect with Dr. Phyllis: http://drphyllishayesreams.com/ https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/ https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

What if the exhaustion you feel is not weakness, but a warning signal asking you to be honest? In this heartfelt episode of Below the Circle, host Dr. Phyllis speaks to high-achieving women who look fine on the outside but feel empty, numb, and worn down inside. She shares the difference between normal tiredness and deep depletion, reminding listeners that constant pretending can cost them joy, peace, connection, and even a clear sense of self. Through her own story from 2019, Dr. Phyllis opens up about 1overcommitment, guilt, burnout, and the moment she realized something had to change. This episode is a caring call to stop performing, tell the truth, and take the first step toward landing in what matters most.

Episode highlights:

(0:28) The honest question behind “I’m fine.”

(2:31) The difference between tired and depleted

(3:49) Exhaustion is not weakness; it is a signal

(5:13) The hidden cost of pretending you are fine

(6:46) Dr. Phyllis shares her 2019 depletion story

(13:07) The first change needed is honesty

(14:37) Honesty is the runway for landing

(15:17) Permission to stop pretending

(16:18) Preview of next week’s episode on presence

Get Dr. Phyllis's Free Answer Guide, “What’s Yours to Carry — and What Isn’t — ten honest answers for the woman who holds everyone together.” Ten questions. Ten honest answers at thebelowthecircle.com.

Connect with Dr. Phyllis: http://drphyllishayesreams.com/ https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/ https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

Are you chasing success, or are you running from the pain you have not named? In this honest and deeply personal episode of Below the Circle, Dr. Phyllis invites you to look at the “buffet” of life, where titles, roles, achievements, and endless yeses can start to feel like proof that you are enough. Through her own story of high achievement, imposter syndrome, betrayal, leadership pressure, COVID-era stress, and a hard landing with God’s help, she shows why the next title will never heal an old wound. This episode is a loving call to stop piling your plate, stop circling above your hurt, and ask one brave question: What am I running from? Peace, joy, and real rest begin when you choose to land.

Episode highlights:

(0:00) Chasing achievement to feel enough

(2:11) The life-changing question: Are you chasing or running?

(4:08) Fulfillment, validation, permission, and labels

(10:10) Dr. Phyllis shares her personal story

(17:49) Medical school, imposter syndrome, and hard seasons

(20:13) Workplace betrayal and reopening old wounds

(25:56) Leadership, COVID, scleroderma, and burnout

(28:19) God’s hard landing and the wake-up call

(31:57) Why the chase will never heal the hurt

(35:41) The question to sit with this week

(37:18) Episode 140 teaser

Get Dr. Phyllis's Free Answer Guide, “What’s Yours to Carry — and What Isn’t — ten honest answers for the woman who holds everyone together.” Ten questions. Ten honest answers at thebelowthecircle.com.

Connect with Dr. Phyllis:

http://drphyllishayesreams.com/ https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/ https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

Why does slowing down feel more terrifying than the burnout already wearing you down? In this heartfelt episode of Below the Circle, Dr. Phyllis speaks to the woman who keeps pushing, serving, leading, and holding everything together while quietly feeling empty inside. She names five fears that keep women stuck on autopilot, including the fear of losing identity, being replaced, appearing weak, letting everything fall apart, and not knowing how to slow down. Through her own story of burnout, loss, and learning to land, Dr. Phyllis reminds listeners that true resilience is not absorbing everything. It is knowing when to pause, breathe, and reconnect with God, yourself, and the life waiting below the circle.

Episode highlights:

(0:00) Opening reflection on resilience and burnout

(1:45) Why slowing down feels so scary

(3:07) Welcome to Below the Circle

(4:23) Fear of losing your identity

(5:21) Fear of being replaced

(6:11) Redefining true resilience

(7:46) Fear that everything will fall apart

(8:53) Not knowing how to slow down

(11:01) Dr. Phyllis shares her personal turning point

(13:18) Lessons from her mother’s passing

(19:23) Slowing down helps you live with clarity

(21:13) Jeremiah 29:11 and trusting God’s plan

(23:06) A simple pause question for the week

(24:18) Preview of the next episode

Get Dr. Phyllis's Free Answer Guide, “What’s Yours to Carry — and What Isn’t — ten honest answers for the woman who holds everyone together.” Ten questions. Ten honest answers at thebelowthecircle.com.

Connect with Dr. Phyllis:

http://drphyllishayesreams.com/ https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/ https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

What if the life you’ve been searching for is right below you, but you’ve been too busy circling to see it? In this powerful opening episode, Dr. Phyllis speaks to the woman who is exhausted from always showing up for everyone else while feeling disconnected from herself. Using the image of a pilot stuck in the same sky, she explains how many women live on autopilot, calling it strength while quietly losing joy and purpose. She shares her own story of fear, release, and finally choosing to land. This episode offers hope, reminding you that slowing down is not failure, it’s the beginning of something real. You are not alone, and it’s time to come home to yourself.

Episode highlights:

(0:00) Dr. Phyllis’ personal story and connection

(0:29) Deep emotional exhaustion explained

(2:11) The “circling” life metaphor

(4:08) Hearing the call to change

(5:36) Letting go and learning to land

(7:11) Who this podcast is for

(8:23) Reconnecting with your true self

(9:30) Invitation to begin the journey

Get Dr. Phyllis's Free Answer Guide, “What’s Yours to Carry — and What Isn’t — ten honest answers for the woman who holds everyone together.” Ten questions. Ten honest answers at thebelowthecircle.com.

Connect with Dr. Phyllis: http://drphyllishayesreams.com/ https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/ https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

What if the woman everyone depends on is not the real you?

In this heartfelt episode, Dr. Phyllis speaks to women who have spent years being strong, dependable, and needed, yet feel disconnected from themselves. She explains how constant performance can become a place of safety, while slowly burying your true desires, joy, and identity. Through honest reflection, a personal story, and the truth of Jeremiah 1:5, she reminds listeners that who they are was never meant to be built on what they do. This episode offers a gentle but powerful call to slow down, get still, and begin asking one simple question: What do I actually want right now? Real change begins there, in small moments of honesty, courage, and care.

Episode highlights:

(0:00) Performance as a safety net

(2:32) Simple questions that reveal lost identity

(6:26) How women become roles instead of people

(9:40) Dr. Phyllis shares her own wake-up moment

(15:28) Jeremiah 1:5 and identity before performance

(20:36) Small choices that help you reconnect with yourself

(24:24) Why this feels uncomfortable

(27:53) This week’s practice

(29:54) Grief over losing yourself

(32:14) Why it is not too late

(35:29) Picture your younger self

(40:13) Next week’s question about busyness and avoidance

Connect with Dr. Phyllis:

http://drphyllishayesreams.com/

https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/

https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams