My friend Ben Ferney (Australia Sydney RM, Former Weber State LDS Institute President, and Weber State Student Body President) joins us to share his story.   Ben talks about the hope and happiness that is ahead for LGBTQ people. He talks about trying to date women and dodging questions about his apparent lack of interest in dating.  After a brake up, Ben concluded she was the last girl he would date.  That led Ben to come out to his family and friends (very positive support).
 
Ben then talks about his decision to date men and doing that with God and his family’s involvement with intention and with boundaries.  Ben talks about finding Calvin Smith (Episode 432, https://soundcloud.com/user-818501778/episode-432-calvin-smith-rm-byu-grad-gay-active-lds-plans-to-marry-a-man) last year and falling in love and their decision to be married in July of 2023.   

Ben and Calvin (who shared some thoughts on the podcast) talk about their active LDS family support (including being present for the engagement) and their desire to stay church-attending Latter-day Saints.
 
Ben talks about his relationship with God, Jesus, his love of the Church, and desire to continue to help and lift others.   Ben talks about his desire to build a life together with Calvin, have a family, and participate in the Church as much as they are allowed.
 
I was moved by the maturity of Ben and Calvin.  I encourage everyone (allies, parents, local leaders, queer Latter-day Saints) to listen to their story.   It’s a story about courage, being intentional, going slow, showing grace to others on different paths, and keeping God in their lives.  Thank you, Ben, for being on the podcast.   Congrats on your upcoming wedding.  Your story will help so many.
 
Podcast Links:
Ministering to LGBTQ Latter-day Saints Facebook Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

Richard Ostler Book:  Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints:
Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints

Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

Episode 646: Ben Ferney, Gay Latter-Day Saint, Former Weber State Student Body President

Welcome to our podcast!   

My name is Richard H. Ostler and I am a native of Salt Lake City, small business owner, married father of six with several grandchildren.  I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group.
I am the author of three books: 

“Listen Learn and Love:  Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” published in 2020 available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/5248297.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773) 

“Listen Learn and Love:  Improving Latter-day Saint Culture” published in 2022.  The book explores who we can do better to help all Latter-day Saints feel more welcome, needed and a feeling of belonging in our congregations.  Available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/6003149.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462139566)

“Listen Learn and Love:  Building the Good Ship Zion” released in Sept 2023.  The book explores additional topics to help all Latter-day Saint feel welcome and needed on the Good Ship Zion.  Available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/6026921.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462145280)

The purpose of all three books is to help us better create Zion by helping more feel welcome, a sense of belonging, and needed in our congregations.  

Proceed from the books go the Stockton Power Memorial Scholarship (www.standingforstockton.com) in honor of Stockton Powers a gay Latter-day Saint teenager who died of suicide in 2016.   Everything I do is a self-funded labor of love ❤️

I am the author of two Ensign articles:

‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin

 ‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use.   

This podcast is designed to discuss some more complicated issues in our church to help all of us better “listen, learn and love” so we can minister in a more effective way to all of our Heavenly Parents’ children.

Podcasts are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts

Thank you for joining us.   You can't donate to this podcast.  There are no sponsors.   But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening and/or leave a review at Deseret Book/Amazon on my books.

With love, Richard 'Papa' Ostler ❤

Twitter: twitter.com/Papa_Ostler
IG: www.instagram.com/papa_ostler
Facebook:  facebook.com/richard.ostler.5
E-mail: richard@ostlergroup.com

Religion & Spirituality

Other

Spirituality

Christianity

Buddhism

Hinduism

Judaism

Islam

This episode is guest-hosted by Tonya Miller. Tonya interviews Jaci Wightman, who shares her compelling story of recovery from dependence on food, and on sugar in particular. Jaci describes the ways that she felt prepared and guided in her journey, which began with her learning that sugar addiction is very real. Jaci talks about being resistant to this idea for years before allowing herself to trust that the Lord was guiding her to the relief she so badly needed from her dependence. Jaci also provides insights into why her reliance on food developed, and how healing from her dependence has had nothing to do with dieting or attaining a certain body shape or size. 
 
I am grateful for Jaci's courage and for the hopeful perspective she brings to this topic. Jaci discusses the societal trends and pressures that influence so many people negatively and shares ideas for approaching and dismantling the shame that often interferes with our ability to see ourselves as God does. Jaci talks about feeling called to teach others about sugar addiction and to support them in their own healing. 
 
I feel very hopeful that this podcast will be a springboard that can help us examine our own attitudes, and associated behaviors, not only about food and body image, but also about other compulsions that we may turn to, instead of to the Savior, for help and comfort. I am glad there are people like Jaci, who not only have the experience, but also the expertise, to help all of us be more mindful and aware around this topic. Jaci's website and other social media links are shared below. Of note, Jaci was also interviewed in Episode 706 (link in show notes)
 
As a side note, I’m focusing only on sharing stories associated with the Queer-LDS experience now. However, if you would like to share your story about a different Church- or gospel-related topic on Listen, Learn and Love, please contact Tonya about the possibility of working with her as my guest-host (e-mail Tonya at tonya@cottonwood.care). 
 
Links for Jaci's digital platform are below: 
 
Jaci’s YouTube channel: 
youtube.com/@jaciwightman?si=Haekg_Ziz0X_GDN_
 
Jaci’s website: jaciwightman.com/
 
Jaci’s earlier podcast:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-706-jaci-wightman-new-book-ignited/id1347971725?i=1000631042858

Episode 758:  Jaci Wightman - Wellness Coach, Healing From Compulsive Eating and Sugar Addiction

My friend Haymitch St. Stephen (BYU degree, Stanford graduate degree, mid 30s, SLC native, Latter-day Saint) joins us to talk about his new book called “Friend of the Devil:  A Story of Mental Health, Mistakes, and Self-Forgiveness”.   This book is the story of Haymitch’s lifelong friend Cameron White, who—at age 17 in 2007—was the drunken driver of a car that killed four members of a Salt Lake City family (Michelle Williams and her unborn baby, her son Ben, and daughter Anna). Michelle’s husband Chris Willams (and a son) survived the accident. Chris wrote about this experience in his book called “Let It Go”.
 
Haymitch, working closely with Cameron White for 6 years, writes the book with insights from Cameron’s perspective of his long journey to find peace, hope, and self-forgiveness.   It is a powerful story realizing the life-altering/shattering impact on the Williams family, spending time in jail, meeting Chris, and working to find hope and self-forgiveness—even when he doesn’t feel he deserves it.   
 
Haymitch, a gifted creative writer and mindful/spiritual big thinker, masterfully weaves in teachings from others (Jesus, Lisa Miller, Thomas McConkie, Adam Miller) to this real-life story to create hope, peace and healing for everyone that seeks to forgive themselves.   It is a book that is helpful to all of us to find peace and joy in the realities of an often wounding world.
 
I was so moved reading this book and listening to Haymitch.   This is a powerful book that I encourage everyone to read.    Thank you Haymitch (and Chris and Cameron) for sharing this story to help bring us together as the same human family.   
 
Links:
 
Order Haymitch’s book:   www.stillpoint.life
 
Learn about the June 7, 2024 book launch event:   www.stillpoint.life
 
Contact Haymitch:  www.stillpoint.life
 
Chris Williams “Let It Go” book:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609071271

Episode 757:  Haymitch St. Stephen,  New Book about Forgiveness (Ourselves and Others)

My friend Hannah Russell (married mother of three, PhD, lives in Cincinnati, active Latter-day Saint) joins us to share her story of being asexual out of a desire to help others not feel alone.   Hannah starts realizing she is different and falsely concluding “I am not a divine child of Heavenly Parents” because I don’t have any sexual interest.    Hannah talks about how being asexual is a real thing and there isn’t some backstory “confusing” Hannah to falsely make this conclusion.
 
Hannah talks about learning more about herself at BYU and dating.   Hannah is very brave—and without shame—in sharing her feelings about not wanting to be sexually intimate.   Hannah talks about getting on with her life (after a broken off engagement) and getting her PhD in Pathobiology and Molecular Medicine.   Hannah talks about meeting her husband John and opening up to him about being asexual and how they navigated that road together and decided to get married and start a family.    Hannah talks about how their marriage—a beautiful love story—is based on communication and consent.
 
I learned so much from Hannah story about how to better understand and support my asexual friends, and principles to create a stronger marriage and family.    Thank you, Hannah, for your courage to share your story so others don’t feel alone and all are welcome and needed as we create Zion.   You are awesome!
 
Links:
 
Hannah’s Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/hannah.russell.1428
 
Facebook Group to Better Support LGBTQ Latter-Day Saints:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

Episode 756: Hannah Russell, Asexual Latter-day Saint

My friends Kate Kendrick (she/her) and her non-binary child Morgan (they/them) join us to share their story.  Kate, who is no longer active LDS, joins us to talk about her journey to become an LGBTQ ally and then fully love and accept her sixteen-year-old non-binary/pansexual child who goes by the pseudonym "Morgan." (who is age 16). It is a beautiful family love story. Kate offers helpful principles and perspective for parents to love and support their queer children.
 
Kate also talks about her decision to no longer participate in the Church and what we can do to build bridges of understanding between those in the Church and those who have left the Church.   Kate is not asking other people to leave the Church—rather, she is suggesting what we can do to bring both parties together as members of the same human family.   
 
Morgan, who is wise beyond their years, talks about what gives them hope and shares their advice to queer people who have less more. struggle with those who don't accept their sexuality/gender identity and/or are feeling suicidal.    
 
Thank you, Kate and Morgan, for being on the podcast. Your story helps us learn how to better support others.  
 
Links:  TikTok Page: @Midlife Exmo Momma -- Please note that, though Kate truly makes an effort to build bridges between members and former members of the Church, some content may not feel appropriate for those seeking to build their testimony of the Church. Please use discretion when watching her videos.

Episode 755: Kate Kendrick and her non-binary child Morgan

My good brother David (author of “Bridges: Ministering to Those Who Question”) joins us to talk about his new book which gives readers a gospel-based framework and tools to navigate the increasingly polarized and contentious landscape of modern society.    
 
In the podcast, David talks about why he wrote the book, who is the audience, and how he hopes it helps us better come together as the same human family.  David talks in a practical way of the skills and approaches to eliminate contention and become peacemakers.   
 
If you are feeling tensions of conflict with family, friends, fellow church members—or want to better ministering tools to bring people together,  I invite you to read/share David’s book.  It is a serious book needed in a divisive time—packed with the latest information from the finest minds, research, and scriptural/church leader insights to help heal our divides.
 
Thank you, Dave, for all your great work in our community to bring us together.   
 
Links:
 
Dave’s book on Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/158958774X
 
Dave’s book on Amazon (Kindle):  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CZ4R7S2T
 
Dave’s book at Kofford Books:  https://gregkofford.com/products/healing-our-divides
 
Dave’s e-mail:  healingourdivides@gmail.com

Episode 646: Ben Ferney, Gay Latter-Day Saint, Former Weber State Student Body President

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