My friend Carlos Toledo (age 28, communications strategist, accomplished businessman, community advocate, son of prominent Brazilian church leaders) joins us to share his remarkable story:

Navigating being attracted to men—outed at age 14/15—unique story

How therapy (not conversation therapy) helped him

Decision to serve a mission—totally out to priesthood leaders

Importance of being impowered—step into it—owning your story

Moving to Utah and being a LGBTQ community leader

Burnout a few years ago—needing to rebuild—super powerful

Difference between being queer in Brazil and USA

Getting through anger

You are a good man, Carlos. Honored to have you on the podcast. You have a great life ahead of you!

Links:

Carlos on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carlos.toledo.19.98

Carlos on Instagram: @thecarlostoledo

My friend Dr. Seth Bott (PhD in Music Arts and Organ Performance, Director of Music, late 30s, Choir Master and Organist at St. James Episcopal Church, organ instructor, frequent performer in LDS spaces like education week) joins us to share his powerful story:

Growing up in Castle Dale, Utah—dream of being a Tabernacle Organist

Knowing he was gay—never going to tell anyone—believe just being gay was a sin until an Elder Holland talk

Great mission, great experience at BYU (undergraduate and graduate degrees). Dream of being a Tabernacle Organist on track

Friends getting married, not able to make it with a girl, desired companionship, finally started to come out

Positive coming out experiences with family—including very tender experience with his Dad

Dating men, being in an 11-year relationship which ended, his current partner Michael (super good relationship)

Finding new dreams—not going to be a Tabernacle Organist

Respect for LDS Church and respect for all paths that LGB Latter-day Saints walk

Going back to his childhood ward in Castle Dale with his boyfriend for his parents’ homecoming and performing a musical number during the service. Love and acceptance for both of them—a little slice of Zion.

Thank you, Seth, for being on the podcast. Respect for all your accomplished in your life with music, teaching and leading with love—like Jesus does. You are a good man and are doing so much to make this world a better place.

Links:

Seth’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/seth.bott.5

Seth’s IG: @sethgbott

Church News Article about Seth: https://www.thechurchnews.com/living-faith/2024/09/18/organ-virtuoso-series-concert-2024-salt-lake-tabernacle-organ-seth-bott/

Seth's YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sethbottmusic780

My friends Jeremy Kerrigan (gay, on episode 761, chiropractor) and Sara Kerrigan (straight, teacher, mother of 5) joins us to share their story:

Why their marriage ended—the right outcome for both of them

Why they remain best friends—and why their communication, honesty and vulnerability is even better now

How we can better support couples that divorce including more listening, curiosity, and less advice

How we can do a better job of not choosing sides in some divorce situations

How their values remain the same—even though their beliefs have changed—super powerful perspective

Supporting their kids (oldest is on a mission)

This is not an episode advocating for divorce. However, this is a reality for some couples. Jeremy and Sara bravely share their story helping us to see what kind of a relationship is possible after divorce in some situations. Their journey is a beautiful love story.

Thank you, Jeremy, and Sara, for being on the podcast. Your story is so needed in our community. You two are remarkable people.

Links:

Jeremy on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drkerrigan

Sara on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ctrsara

Jeremy on IG: @jeremykerriganaz

Sara on IG: ctrsara

My friend Chris Bissett (lives in Raymond, Alberta Canada, married father of 5, serving in Bishopric) joins us to share his story including:

Realizing he is gay before his mission—learning how to balance his faith and his sexuality alone and dealing with the shame. Navigating things in the church that were helpful and some other things that were hurtful

“Rage praying” and getting an answer “God was OK with me being gay”

Coming out to his wife Becky in the first year of their marriage—wanted to be honest and have a relationship on trust

While his wife is very supportive, he recognized he didn’t give her a choice, learning that a marriage of love needs to be built on truth (authenticity) and choice.

Helpful meeting and getting great advice with Elder Holland early in their marriage

Eventually couldn’t keep being gay on the “back burner”—needed to come out more openly

Taking away the shame—living with confidence

How he moved from seeing being gay as a “sacrifice” to moving toward “consecration” and using being himself as a gay member to build Zion

His powerful Wayfare Article called “Light in a Watery Darkness, Finding a Way with Consecrated Identity” (see show notes).

Chris shares a super insightful story with unique insights and perspectives—all coming from a place of no-shame, integrity, and confidence. I learned so much from Chris. If you are an LGBTQ Latter-day Saint, Chris’s story will help you. And Chris’s story will help you if you are looking to better understand and support our LGBTQ friends.

You are a good man, Chris. Honored to have you on the podcast!

Links:

Wayfare article: https://www.wayfaremagazine.org/p/wilt-thou-suffer-that-we-shall-cross

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chrisbissett

My friend Natalie Brown (JD, University of Virginia School of Law; PhD, Columbia University; Latter-day Saint; Salt Lake Tribune guest columnist; and mother of two) joins us to talk about her new book After Happiness: Living with Faith in a Time of Crisis. In the podcast/book Natalie talks about:

How gospel messaging became entwined with individualistic formulas for happiness in the late Twentieth Century

How some of the formulas the Church associated with the "plan of happiness" are now economically or otherwise out of reach for many members

How happiness should not be used as measuring stick of evidence of gospel truth

Problems with the “prosperity gospel”

How feeling happy is not a choice for many Latter-day Saints—and they shouldn’t feel judged for this or told to just be “more happy”

How to find peace and opportunity after failure and unwanted disruption

Finding perspective in Nephi’s story on how to move forward in the face of societal collapse

Why she stays in the Church

How affordability is a major reality for younger Latter-day Saints

Natalie is one of the “wisest and most original thinkers” in our community “tackling the profound question of what constitutes the good life.” If you want to find more peace, hope, and acceptance in your life (and become better at helping others), please read Natalie’s book.

Links:

Natalie’s book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H64LBW2B

Natalie’s website: https://www.nataliebrown.com/

Natalie’s IG: @nataliebrownwriter

Launch Event: July 30th, 6 pm-7:30 pm, Compass Gallery, 250 W, Center Street #101, Provo, UT 84601. RSVP here: https://www.thecompassgallery.com/event-details/after-happiness-book-launch-with-natalie-brown

My friend Rich Cope (early 50s, father of four) join us to share his brave, vulnerable, and honest story in hopes of helping others:

Growing up in Utah County and not fitting the mold/expectations for a man

Great insights about broadening the definition of masculinity

Processing his attractions to men in a vacuum—with no outside support/understanding

Serving a mission and learning God loves him and will always be with him

Trying to make it work with a woman—be told it will all work out

Getting married—good marriage—why that marriage eventually ended

Being closeted and being a dad to a gay son (who was out, authentic, and accepted himself)

Decision to come out to his wife and then more broadly (lots of acceptance)

Powerful testimony on how God loves all of His children—gay or straight

Advice for younger LGBTQ folks

This was another deeply moving podcast from my friend Rich Cope—who is so vulnerable, real, and honest—all attributes of masculinity. This podcast will help you in you are LGBTQ and help the rest of us better love/accept ourselves, know God’s love for us, and how to better love/support our LGBTQ friends.

You are a good man, Rich. Honored to have you on the podcast.

Links:

Instagram: @richcoperealtor

My friend Michael Soto (mid-40s, transitioned 20+ years ago, bridge builder including being invited by the Church to attend two Temple open houses, powerful story) joins us to share:

Feeling he is a boy since his earliest memories

Feeling hopeless

Learning he is transgender—realized there was a path for him—for the first time had hope

How much transitioning has helped him in all aspects of his life (emotionally, spiritually, career, etc)

Powerful story of how his father accepted and supported him

Powerful story of how his mother—caring for Micheal after top surgery—fully accepted him

Advice to parents who have a child experiencing gender dysphoria

I share some thoughts about:

Seeing our transgender friends in the parable of the Good Samaritan

Importance of proximity—get to know transgender people from them—not from load/fear-based voices

How the comparison to being “car sick” helped me to understand gender dysphoria/need to transition

Thank you, Michael, for being on the podcast. You are a good man—one of my heroes. Thanks for all you are doing in our world to improve the lives of LGBTQ. Thanks for your great heart, love for everyone, and your discipleship.

Links:

Equality Arizona: https://www.equalityarizona.org/

Michael Soto on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/michaelscsoto

Michael Soto in IG: @michaelsantiagocsoto

My friend Brent Edwards (active LDS, lives in Joplin Missouri, married) joins us to share his story in hopes that is helps other bisexual Latter-day Saints to not feel alone, don’t have shame, and that God loves them. Brent shares:

Pre-mission experiences around being attracted to boys

Serving a mission (belated confession to his Mission President—great experience)

Getting married—30+ years of not feeling bi-sexual

How being bi-sexual gradually became something he needed to address—came out to his wife (good experience) and then his church community

Learning how to deal with being bi-sexual in a more healthy way

How Brent and his wife concluded he needed to tell his story

Powerful spiritual experiences—experience that help other queer Latter-day Saints know God loves them

Thank you, Brent, for being on the podcast. Your brave and unique story will help others. Thank you for your courage. You are a good man.

Links:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brent.edwards.71066700

Instagram: @brentedwards505

E-mail: [email protected]

My friend Scott Mena (lives in Deltona Florida, mid-30s) joins us to share his amazing story:

* Growing up closeted in a world and shame—being gay meant AIDS

* Hiding and trying to change

* Gaining a testimony

* Coming out to his mom and Bishop

* Working to solve pornography use

* His friend Mickeal

* Serving a mission to Denver (positive experience)

* Going to Pulse (before the massacre in 2016)

* Working through suicidal thoughts

* Coming out publicly and getting involved with LGBTQ community (PFLAG, etc)

* Living between two worlds (LDS community and LGBTQ community)

* Being “Mr. DeLand Pride”, being a drag entertainer, Ward Mission Leader

* Help start Volusia Gathering and how it helped his dad

* Final testimony

Thank you, Scott, for being on the podcast. You story is super powerful and hopeful. You are a great man who was walked a difficult road with courage, faith, and hope. Honored to have you on the podcast.

Links:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/scottymena/

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/scottmenaactor

YouTube Channel info - https://www.youtube.com/@scottythetheaterguy

Website - http://www.scottmena.com

Extra info - https://linktr.ee/thetheaterguy

My friend Alisha Anderson (graduate degrees in Environmental Humanities and Masters of Fine Arts, Artist, Writer, Adjunct Professor, mid-30s), joins us to share her queer story center around four main themes:

Love is easy when it's based on sameness. The true test of love is difference.

Time is one of God’s greatest tools.

I've come to believe in a God who does not wish to sacrifice me, but grow me.

We need each other—in both our suffering and our joy.

As part of these themes, Alisha shares unique and powerful insights are deeply moving—and even after 900+ episodes are unique. Insights that I believe will help other queer Latter-day Saints find hope as they bravely move forward—and insights that help allies/parents better support/love our queer friends.

Thank you, Alisha, for being on the podcast. I learned so much from you! You are so emotional/spiritual/intellectually mature and thoughtful. You are a gift to our community. Honored to have you on the podcast!

Links:

Instagram: @_a_anderson

Website: alishaanderson.org