My friend Gabby Rich (Brazil RM, BYU-Idaho graduate, day care teacher, from Anacortes, Washington) joins us to bravely share her story:

* Grew up “goody 2 shoes” Mormon

* “Shame cannot survive being spoken”

* Kissed her last mission companion

* Chose not to take the sacrament day of her mission homecoming

* Believed she was straight—dated guys

* Strong interest in a guy who “would be the answer to all my problems”

* Broke off relationship—downward spiral of anxiety

* Finally accepted being attracted to girls

* Started to come out (some good and some not so good responses)

* "Was still valuing others’ perceptions of me—versus living authentically"

* UVU institute class for queer members—super helpful in her journey

* Parents became great allies

* Started dating girls—everything clicked

* Wants to “find a girl who would share my same desire to maintain a relationship with Heavenly Father and works to becoming more Christlike”

* Helpful advice received from others

* Hopes for the future

Thank you Gabby for your courage to share your story. I learned so much from you. Your brave/honest/vulnerable story will help others believe God loves them and find more hope. You are awesome. You have a great life ahead of you!

Links:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/gabrielle.rich.73

Instagram: @richgabrielle

My friend Magnum Davis (High School Senior/Utah County, out to family/friends for over 3 years) joins us to bravely share his story:

* Painful Jr. High Experience—always being asked if he was gay

* Mom’s support during these years

* Starting to come out in early High School years—“felt freeing”

* Coming out to entire family—“each time I told someone, I grew”

* Great family support over the years

* Believing can’t be gay and Mormon—initially felt like he had to choose one

* Dating boys—keeping communication open with parents

* Difficult Bishop experiences—but giving grace

* Breaking point—“I had to break for God to build me into something better”

* Seeing and working through deep rooted shame—helpful therapists

* Love conquers everything

* Love he feels from his Heavenly Parents and his Savior

* “Being gay is a spiritual gift”

Thank you Magnum—one of our youngest guests—for being on the podcast to share your story. Respect for your courage to share your story out of a desire to help other feel hope. Your story helps so many. You are a good man with a wonderful future.

Links:

Instagram: @magnummiles

My friend Soren Neilsen (age 21, Sacramento California RM, from Michigan, University of Utah student) joins us to share his story:

* Realizing he was different—not attracted to girls

* Working through internalized homophobia and shame

* Hurtful things said about gay people while growing up

* Coming out to Bishop (good experience)

* Gay LDS friend—friend throughout his mission—offered love, acceptance, and support

* Decision to serve a mission

* Coming out to both mission presidents (generally good)

* Coming out to companions and generally the whole mission (generally good)

* “God wants me to use my sexuality to help others come unto Christ” (I thought I could add that there is unity in our differences)

* Deep testimony of our Heavenly Parents and our Savior—and His atonement (D&C6:36)

* Personal revelation

* Feeling his best path forward is to marry a man and build a life/family together with Christ as the foundation

Thank you Soren for being on the podcast to share your story. You are brave. Thank you for helping so many people come unto Christ during your mission and for the many lives you blessed. Love your testimony/love of Christ and how He wants to help all of us. You are a good man with a wonderful future. Honored to have you on the podcast.

Links:

Instagram: @sojonie1

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/soren.nielsen.632826

My friends Kade Smith (age 38, lives in San Diego, married to husband Chris for 9 years) and Terri Smith (LDS married mother of 4 sons) join us to share their story. I’ve been friends with the Smith family as we lived together in the same Sandy neighborhood from about 1993-1998. Sheila and I love the Smith family.

Kade shares:

* Coming out at Age 18

* Moving in San Francisco and being groomed into an abuse relationship. Was vulnerable and need validation

* Becoming HIV positive—told his Mom

* Going “all in” with the gay community—needed belonging

* Abuse, drug and alcohol addiction—suicidal, called Mom from his balcony—drive back to Salt Lake City

* Long road to sobriety—being “loved back to life”

* Role of Heavenly Father and Kade’s Savior Jesus Christ to help him

* Importance of the Word of Wisdom

* Belonging withing the sober community

* Helping others. Moving forward

Terri shares:

* Challenges of parenting an adult child with drug/alcohol challenges

* Always loving and believing in Kade

* Being there for his drive back to Salt Lake City

* Love of Kade’s husband Chris—“our family would not be complete without Chris”

* “I love you Kade, and am proud of your life”

This is a super powerful story of Kade’s long journey to be sober and do the hard work necessary to get to this point. It is a story of survival, resilience, hope, turning to God, and courage. It is also a powerful story of a mother’s love for her dear son. Doing this podcast together is super powerful—a beautiful family love story.

I encourage everyone to listen and share this episode. Thank you Kade and Terri for your courage to share your story. It will help so many!

My friend Laurie Reese (married mother of five, one grandchild, active LDS) joins us to share her story based on a recent talk she gave in her Ward:

* Story of her son Landon and her daughter Hallee coming out as gay

* Hallee’s marriage ended. Mother of one. Now engaged to her girlfriend

* Laurie’s support for her gay children

* Loneliness as some people pull away and don’t know what to say

* Melissa Inouye’s book “Sacred Struggle” and sitting in the back seat on the road to Piha

* Teaching of Jesus to love those on the margins

“Easier to put others in a group and then label them in a certain way and set them aside and dismiss their pain and needs”

* We don’t need to use Satan’s tactics (take away agency) to accomplish God’s plan

* Questions I ask myself as I better try to follow Jesus

* Landon’s difficult seminary experience—how we can do better

* Church leader quotes about diversity and doing better

* Story of selling a home and heart dropped as a gay couple came to look at the home—and now hoping her gay children will be loved as they move into their own homes

This is a super powerful episode with Laurie being honest about the pain and challenges of raising gay children—not because they are gay—but because of the lack of support and understanding for these wonderful children.

If you have queer children (or want to be better prepared to raise your future queer kiddos), please listen and share this episode. And if you want better tools to love our queer friends and their families, please listen/share this episode.

Thank you Laurie for being on the podcast. I was so moved with your story and spiritual insights. Thanks for all you are doing to build Zion and help everyone feel loved and a sense of belonging.

Links:

https://www.facebook.com/laurie.v.reese

My friend Candice Bithell (married mother of three, active LDS) joins us to share her story:

Candice’s backstory

Bones (her transgender son) coming out at age 13/14

Parable of the Lost Coin as her spiritual lens

Powerful insights into the Lost Coin Parable to support Bones

Difficult experiences on Bones journey—anger, self-harm, etc…

Love as the foundation of her approach to support Bones

“My love is bigger than your gender”

Attending Pride Events—including bringing glowsticks—powerful experience of love and acceptance

Close and loving family—beautiful family love story

This is one of the best podcasts we’ve done for providing insights (both doctrinally and from a parent’s perspective) into loving and supporting a transgender child. If you are looking to better understand and support the transgender people in your life, please listen and share this podcast.

Thank you, Candice, for being on the podcast and all you are doing to help us all better love and support the transgender people in our lives. You have a beautiful family.

Links:

Candice’s Wayfare Article: https://www.wayfaremagazine.org/p/glowsticks-and-parables

Candice’s Substack: https://substack.com/@cbithell

My friend Douglas Williams (President of the Real OCD Club and the Un Alone Club at BYU; dual-major at BYU, RM, MTC Teacher) joins us to share his journey with OCD and scrupulosity:

Understanding, managing, and accepting intrusive thoughts—not a sign of worthiness

Thoughts don’t have anything to do with our character

Undiagnosed scrupulosity entering mission field (repeated confessions to Stake President)

Difficult start to mission, medication, things got better (still misdiagnosed)

Coming home from mission, going off medication, and crashing

Finally got a correct diagnosis—path to healing

Importance of Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy

Ego-syntonic thoughts (line up with values) and ego-dystonic thoughts (don’t line up with values)—super powerful distinction

Invitation to join the Real OCD Club at BYU (focused on OCD)

Invitation to join Un-Alone Club at BYU (focused on solving porn use)

If you are working to understand and navigate OCD in yourself or help others, Douglas’ podcast will help you. Douglas—who has a gift of great communication—does an excellent job of helping us all better understand OCD/Scrupulosity and how to solve these mental health challenges.

Links:

Real OCD Club at BYU on Instagram: @readocdblub

Un Alone Club at BYU on Instagram: @un.alone.byu

My friend Gracee Purcell (BYU Psychology Grad, President of RaYnbow Collective, Activist, Engaged to be Married) joins us to share her story at BYU:

Why she choose BYU

Advice for other queer people considering Church-owned schools

Roommates (mostly positive)

Interactions with BYU administration

Interactions with BYU professors

Work of “RaYnbow Collective” to support queer BYU students

Insights on the concept of “Safe Places”

Thank you, Gracee, for being on the podcast and all your bridge building work to make this world a better place. You are doing so much good in our community and have a great life ahead of you. Congrats on your recent engagement. I encourage everyone to listen to and share this episode.

Links:

RaYnbow Collective Instagram: @raynbow.collective

** This episode talks about suicide. If you are suicidal, please call/text chat 988 **

My friend Bruce Butcher (late 50s, married father of three, active LDS) joins us in a powerful episode to share the following:

Loving and accepting people in his life who are no longer in the Church

“We don’t punish a man for his beliefs”

Losing his wonderful son Taylor to suicide in June 2024

Taylor’s prayer “bless the sick and sad, help us to be the best versions of ourselves”

Painful doctrine the Church used to teach about suicide—led to no hope

Love of a mother is the most powerful force on earth

Love of our Heavenly Mother is the most powerful force in heaven—she isn’t going to cut off any of Her children

Excluding people is not Christ’s doctrine

David Archuleta—“I’m still a fan”

Being a cafeteria Mormon

My apology to my LGBTQ friends

I deeply loved listening to and learning from Bruce. If you are looking for more hope in your life, be more like Jesus, and love/accept people walking different roads, please listen to and share Bruce’s podcast.

Thank you, Bruce, for being on the podcast. You are a good man—helping so many. I’m so sorry your good son Taylor is gone. Love Taylor's heart as reflected in the words of his prayer.

My friend Heather Sorensen (married mother of 4; grandmother of 14, early morning seminary teacher), joins us to share her story of losing her daughter Hannah in a traffic accident at age 15 in 2013. Heather talks about the initial and continued grief of her death and how she is navigating both holding her grief and her testimony of being with Hannah again. Heather talks about a dream she had before Hannah was born and that feeling returning during Hannah’s death. She also talks about losing her son Richard at birth.

Heather talks about not being active in the Church for twenty years and her journey to return to the church and the importance of creating her identity rooted in Jesus Christ and invites us to do the same. Heather talks about her son Zachary’s cancer diagnosis during home MTC, fear she would lose another child, and Zachary’s recovery and serving a mission. Heather talks about why she decided to write a book about Hannah—called Dandelion Blessings—which is Hannah’s nickname.

If you are looking for a genuine/honest story of intense grief—and finding hope/peace to move forward—please listen and share Heather’s podcast and book. Thank you, Heather, for your courage and vulnerability to be on the podcast. You are helping so many!

Links:

Dandelion Blessings (at Amazon): https://a.co/d/0eK9OYGy