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In today's BONUS EPISODE Val breaks down some ideas around why the LDS Church is uniquely vulnerable to the underreporting of child sex abuse.  While some of its issues will be vulnerabilities of all patriarchal systems, there are others that might be unique to the LDS church due to its history, doctrine, practices, and culture.  Listen in as Val walks through her own process of understanding this devastating phenomenon in hopes to evoke more dialogue, heightens awareness and brings about systemic reform in the long run.  In the end, looking that this phenomenon will serve the best interests of all parties involved, so please share this episode far and wide.  

Resources Referenced in this episode

From the Latter Day Struggles Podcast:

Patriarchy, Power and Gender Roles Resource Catalog

Episode 35, 36, 45, 98

6 Part Series - The Shocking Correlation Between Men Socialized in Patriarchies & Psychological/Spiritual Underdevelopment beginning on Episode 283

10 Part Series - In-depth Exploration of Patriarchy and its Correlation to Violence & Abuse beginning on Episode 333 

Other Resources:

Year of Polygamy- Episode 197 Polygamy, Mormonism, and Child Abuse

The Dialogue Journal- Confronting Men's Violence Against Women and Girls in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints by Suzanne E. Greco

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Join Valerie and therapist colleague Dr. Julie Hanks in this recording of a recent “Instagram Live” where they explored the recent breaking news from LDS Newsroom decreasing the eligibility age from 19 to 18 for young women interested in serving full-time missions. 

In this conversation Val and Julie tackle possible as variety of topics, including short term and long term social, cultural, and mental health drawbacks and benefits that might follow this policy change. They also address how skyrocketing attrition rates from women in patriarchal churches worldwide (and within the LDS church) might be connected to this shift in policy. 

Don’t miss this riveting discussion that continues to correlate the connection between psychological health and gender equality—a topic that these two heritage Latter-day Saint therapists have committed a great deal of their careers to highlighting for the benefits of the LDS Church and all connected to it.

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction and Guest Introduction

01:29 – Implications of Mission Age Change

02:27 – Gender Roles and Patriarchy

03:30 – Strategic Motivations and Retention

04:51 – Personal Reflections on Mission Experiences

06:04 – Missions as Catalysts for Change

08:45 – Concerns About Early Marriage and Education

10:00 – Generational Differences and Faith Journeys

12:23 – Temple Access for Young Women

13:30 – Women Leaving Organized Religion

14:09 – Challenges and Opportunities for Church Evolution

16:00 – Paradox of Devotion and Faith Crisis

19:16 – Balancing Individuality and Community in Faith

20:30 – The Church’s Developmental Stage

22:21 – Potential for Organizational Change

24:00 – Normalizing Women’s Leadership

31:50 – Impact of Mission Age on Family Life

32:17 – Egalitarian Structure in the Church

33:32 – Women’s Leadership and Identity

35:30 – Birth Rate and Missionary Integration

37:00 – Economic Realities and Family Planning

39:39 – Mental Health Concerns for Young Missionaries

40:24 – Pressure and Autonomy in Missionary Service

42:00 – Stigma and Social Ranking

45:23 – Patriarchy and Gender Roles in the Church

47:15 – The Cost of Conformity

49:54 – Encouragement for Individual Choices

51:00 – Redefining Spirituality and Autonomy

52:39 – Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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If Episode 384 (the one right before this one!) addresses the larger psychological question of why the holidays & family events can be extra challenging and painful for those on the LDS faith expansion journey--then this episode answers the equally relevant follow up question:  What can I actually do to maximize my potential to feel present and grounded at these holiday events?  

In today's episode, Val focuses in on two prevalent kinds of LDS family systems that she has heard about over and over again in her work in LDS faith crisis/expansion: the authoritarian structure and her newly coined term, the 'adherent/apologetic' family structure.  

If either of these family structures ring a bell then her "four critical safety pillars"— might help you navigate these challenging family gatherings with grace for your own nervous system and grace for your doing-their best loved ones.   

Whether you're dealing with strict authoritarian dynamics or the anxiety-laden avoidance of adherent-apologetic families, Valerie's thoughtful strategies and encouragement will empower you to stay true to yourself while maintaining meaningful connections. Tune in to transform your holiday stress into an opportunity for growth and understanding.

Wait, there's more!  

**Want to catch the first part of this conversation and not a Friday Fellow?  Jump to the show notes for more info on how to catch this whole conversation!  

**Need more to prepare?  Val has prepared an ebook companion to episodes 384 and 385.  Jump to the show notes for more information on this excellent resource as well! 

 https://valeriehamaker.com/downloads/navigating-family-faith-during-the-holidays/

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction and Episode Overview.

00:44 – Navigating Family Dynamics During the Holidays

02:00 – The Impact of Faith Transitions on Family Interactions

03:00 – Context for the Episode and Friday Fellowship

04:00 – Understanding Different Family Structures

05:00 – The Psychology Behind Family Types

05:57 – Authoritarian Family Dynamics

07:04 – Adaptive Family Dynamics

08:00 – Navigating Adaptive Family Interactions

09:03 – Adherent Apologetic Family Dynamics

10:30 – Indirect Communication and Triangulation

12:31 – Practical Tips for Holiday Interactions

14:00 – The Importance of Personal Choice and Boundaries

16:51 – Pillar 1: Internal Safety

20:00 – Tools for Internal Safety

23:30 – Pillar 2: Relational Safety

27:00 – Strategies for Relational Safety

30:00 – Practicing Differentiation and Respect

34:52 – Pillar 3: Environmental Safety

36:30 – Setting Boundaries Around Participation
39:44 – Pillar 4: Exit and Recovery Safety

42:00 – Dealing with Post-Event Emotions
44:00 – Vale

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Are you curious about what has happened in the minds and hearts of the Hamakers eight months post-resignation from the LDS church due to the waves that this podcast has made throughout the world for the past couple of years?  

Well, one thing that happened changed Val's life and is now changing hundreds of Latter Day Struggles Podcast listener's lives too.  It all started the day Val opened up a  book that became a portal to an entire universe of deeper-stage LDS faith crisis healing.   This new orientation is psychologically sound, as spiritually robust as they come, and is somewhat involved; but its healing philosophy can be summed up in three words: transcend & include.  

Join Val and Nathan in this Q&A episode, where they walk through some questions that you might have if you have noticed a pivot in their Friday Fellowship content and want to know what you might be missing. 

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

00:41 Exploring Transcend and Include

01:51 Addressing Listener Questions

04:23 The Origins of the Podcast

06:59 Navigating Faith and Theology

12:06 The Middle Path and Personal Growth

18:43 Introduction to Ken Wilber's Work

28:22 Understanding Our Place in the Universe

29:31 The Concept of Transcend and Include

31:58 Faith and Consciousness Evolution

34:15 Challenges in Embracing Past Selves

42:51 The Importance of Compassion and Healing

50:52 Podcast Structure and Community Support

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Series Title: Unpacking LDS Polygamy Developments in 2025 [Part II of II]

Join Valerie and Jana Spangler as they finish their conversation about the fascinating currents of 2025 surrounding polygamy in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. In this episode they dissect the release of a new gospel topic essay solidifying Joseph Smith's role as the originator of polygamy, the provocative digitization of a John Taylor revelation, and analyze President Oaks' recent mentions of Heavenly Mother(s) in a public address. With insightful analysis and a call for self-discernment, they offer listeners both a historical exploration and a heartfelt guide to navigating these complex issues.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

00:21 Discussing Polygamy in 2025

01:44 New Gospel Topic Essay on Polygamy

03:52 Joseph Smith and the Origins of Polygamy

07:42 The Church's Narrative and Modern Movements

14:14 John Taylor's Revelation on Polygamy

20:33 Polygamy in Church History

22:21 Transparency and Church History

26:40 Gender Equality in the Church

31:47 Heavenly Mother and Polygamy

36:09 Differentiation and Personal Faith

41:22 Embracing Complexity and Holiness

43:28 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

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Join Valerie and her guest Jana Spangler in the next two Monday episodes as they delve into the complexities of polygamy within the Mormon church, focusing on the year 2025 when several significant events around this topic unfolded. 

They discuss how early Mormon history, particularly Joseph Smith's revelation on polygamy, has impacted the faith journey of many members. Additionally, they explore the recent polygamy-related additions to the 'Come Follow Me' manual and what this means for teaching younger generations about this challenging subject.  

The conversation extends to practical advice for LDS church-attending parents and teachers navigating the the polygamy topic with children both at home and at church, with a focus on fostering critical thinking both in children and in the adults who are shepharding them in their spiritual growth and development. This episode promises a thoughtful examination of faith, history, and the ongoing struggle to reconcile and/or let go of difficult Mormon doctrines.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

00:17 Discussing Polygamy in 2025

05:34 Historical Overview of Polygamy

15:18 Polygamy's Impact on Modern Faith

32:19 Personal Reflections on Polygamy

43:42 Controversy and Church Teachings

50:58 Questioning Narratives and Personal Feelings

51:21 Teaching Complex Ideas to Children

53:01 Gender Dynamics in Religious Teachings

58:20 Revised Teachings on Polygamy

01:11:37 Parental Guidance and Critical Awareness

01:23:17 Balancing Structure and Flexibility in Faith

01:35:38 Concluding Thoughts and Future Topics

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Series Title: A Two-Hundred Year Old Mirror: How the Faith Expansion Journey has Always Made Christian Leadership Sweat! [Episode II of II]

In this thought-provoking episode, Valerie and guest Casey McFarland dive into part two of their series comparing the dynamics between orthodox leadership and progressive membership in both the early Christian church and in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. 

They explore the discovery of the Gnostic Gospels and how their divergent beliefs sparked friction with orthodox leaders of the time. The conversation addresses the parallels between historical and contemporary challenges, such as the struggles around authority, the role of women, and the push and pull between rigidity and progressive thought.  

The fascinating conclusion:  What we are experiencing is utterly predictable, has happened before, and is more about the frictions around community, cohesion, and the inevitability that some souls much grow...even in a correlated space! 

Did you hear their announcement about the Latter Day Struggles 2026 trip to Italy?  Listen in and catch up if you didn't!  

 Previous episodes referenced: 

 159:  LDS University Students Pressured to Not Ask Hard Questions

 160:  Why Scientific & Academic Inquiry IS Spiritual Seeking!

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

00:20 Comparing Modern and Early Christian Dynamics

01:12 Recap of Last Episode

01:21 The Gnostic Gospels and Early Christian Writings

03:45 Role of Women and Educated in Early Christianity

06:40 Evolution of God and Spiritual Development

07:38 Historical Parallels in Religious Thought

10:38 Authority and Questioning in Faith

18:11 Modern Reflections on Historical Religious Tensions

24:54 Inclusivity and Development in Faith Traditions

26:42 Contradictions in Logic and Authority

28:16 The Role of Satan in Early Christian Debates

31:30 Personal Experiences and Institutional Authority

34:05 The Struggle for Inner Authority and Faith Development

38:27 The Tension Between Tradition and Progress

50:15 Invitation to Italy: Exploring Early Christian History

53:38 Closing Remarks and Future Plans

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Have you lost your faith in the old white man in the sky but don't want to lose God altogether?  We've got you! Join Val and Nathan in this enlightening episode of 'Latter Day Struggles 2.0' as they dive deep into the evolving understanding of God within and beyond the framework of traditional Mormonism and even moving beyond Western Christian theology. 

The duo discusses contrasting views on the divine, from the punitive, transactional God (whom most of us can relate to learning about) to a more mystical, all-encompassing spirituality aligned with the perennial philosophy. They reinterpret Friedrich Nietzsche's proclamation 'God is dead,' and invite a deepening of the idea of God that aligns with the foundation of all Wisdom Traditions and transpersonal psychology. Tune in for a thought-provoking conversation that explores how reimagining God as an integral, universal force can transcend old paradigms and awaken a deeper spiritual consciousness.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

01:12 Exploring the Nature of God

02:33 Nietzsche's Perspective on God

04:40 The Western Concept of God

09:44 The Perennial Tradition

14:36 Comparing Western and Eastern Views of God

23:58 The Perennial Philosophy and Human Divinity

46:34 Concluding Thoughts on God and Spirituality

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Series Title: A Two-Hundred Year Old Mirror: How the Faith Expansion Journey has Always Made Christian Leadership Sweat! [Episode I of II]

In the next two Monday episodes you are going to LOVE this conversation between Valerie and her friend Casey McFarland (of @pioneerparadox) as they discuss a fascinating aspect of early Christian history that is sure to resonate with you on your own faith expansion journey. They delve into the world of early Christian Gnostics and their progressive beliefs that challenged the early church general leadership by claiming that while a church can be a useful resource in one's journey towards spiritual light and truth, God could be found within each of us and is not controlled by any other human person or institution. 

If you don't want to feel alone in your wrestles with institutional authority, these two episodes will hit home in every way. Also stay tuned for the end of the episode where Casey & Val make an exciting announcement that you will not want to miss! 

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

01:11 Casey's Background and Interests

03:26 Early Christian History and Book Discussion

06:49 Comparing Early Christianity and Modern LDS Church

11:48 The Role of Early Christian Leaders

30:40 Valentina and Progressive Early Christians

36:43 Ancient Philosophical Schools and Heresies

37:32 The Threat of Competing Beliefs

38:24 Valentina's Following and the Church's Response

40:00 Gnostic Beliefs and Self-Discovery

40:59 Quotes from Gnostic Texts

43:13 Gnostic Christianity vs. Traditional Christianity

48:23 The Concept of Maya and Moksha

52:58 Stages of Faith and Compassion

01:01:34 The Transforming Power of Love

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Join Val and Nathan in this 2.0 episode exploring how our human shadow parts can "leak" all over our respective "ladders of development" and what happens when (not 'if') they do.  This episode processes not only why we much integrate our personal shadows, but also how this work looks!  Nathan surprised Val by going off-script  vulnerably shared his personal struggle with incorporating feminine divine into his prayers, revealing a significant 'shadow' from his past that still affects him.

Did you love learning about climbing up your own ladder of consciousness as others climb up their own?  If so, you're not alone.  Val has started integrating this metaphor into her group work and this concept is proving to be game-changing to many!  Groups are full at the present but jump over to latterdaystruggles.com and join their email list so that you know when the next one is enrolling! 

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction and Podcast Overview

00:51 Concept of the Ladder, the Climber, and the View

01:08 Stages of Conscious Development

03:13 Potential Pathologies in Development

04:53 Intersection of Psychology and Spirituality

07:09 Ken Wilber's Integral Theory

13:15 Understanding Shadows and Blobs

23:09 Real-Life Example of Shadow Work

41:58 Concluding Thoughts and Reflections

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