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In this episode, Valerie shares an inspiring journey of self-discovery and spiritual growth with The Wholeness Network.  The theme was Brene Brown's exploration of the concept of "Braving the Wilderness" and on the heels of three years of learning to live & love one's truth at a potentially high social cost, Val felt that she had a couple of things to say about this.   

This episode is a sharing of history, emotion on both ends of the spectrum and ultimately,  a tale of courage, compassion, and finding one's true place in the world.  

00:00 Finding My Path: Early Struggles and Discoveries

00:40 A Surprising Call to Ministry

01:06 Discovering a Passion for Therapy

02:38 The Journey to Graduate School

03:18 Embracing Complexity in Faith and Life

04:40 Launching a Podcast: Unexpected Success

07:40 Understanding the Faith Journey

08:11 Stages of Faith and Personal Growth

10:25 Challenges and Courage in Faith Transitions

15:40 The Role of Compassion and Empathy

23:45 Trusting Oneself and Embracing the Divine Within

27:49 The Price and Reward of Spiritual Journeys

28:05 Experiences of Resonance and Support

33:28 Navigating Faith and Personal Growth

42:36 Understanding Patriarchy in Faith Communities

50:58 The Impact of Enmeshed Family Systems

58:22 Embracing Wholeness and Self-Integration 

Afterward:  After their forced resignation from the LDS church in March of 2025, Val & Nathan were invited to share their stories on about a dozen podcasts.  Due to Nathan's currently heavy travel schedule, most of these guest appearances are (unfortunately!) just Valerie.  Thanks for sharing this journey with the Hamakers! 

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In this exciting solo episode, Valerie reflects on the profound personal growth she has experienced over the past few months and shares her plans for what she is informally dubbing the "Latter Day Struggles 2.0" era.  

In some ways, you will continue to get what you have come to expect--a respectful & honest conversation about all things Mormon through the lens of healthy psychology.  Where 2.0 is going to shine is in several upcoming  "Transcending & Including Mormonism" special series that will run every Friday for listeners looking to deepen their faith journey, finally get 'unstuck', or are hungry for their next wave of deepening growth. 

Join Val in embarking on this new chapter, offering deeper, more holistic explorations of faith and consciousness.  

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In this episode Val is a guest on the Join Latter Day Digest podcast & what unfolds is the very unlikely story that led to Val's and Nathan's eventual 'outlaw' status within the LDS church.  Why is this so odd?  Because this couple could not have been more traditionally believing for the majority of their lives--including spending most of their marriage following all of the traditional scripts of Mormonism...which in some ways worked and in other ways didn't work that well at all.  

Then something happened within Val & Nathan (different life-shifting changes/crises) and their paradigms changed...radically.  From living traditional roles prescribed by outside 'experts' on their lives to becoming passionate advocates of finding courage, truth, and God-connection within, Val shares a journey that might offer hope to anyone out there who thinks transformation isn't possible.  

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

00:22 Valerie's Early Life and Background

02:04 Young Women's Experience in the Church

04:33 Struggles with Traditional Gender Roles

10:06 Mission and College Years

16:25 Meeting Her Future Husband

18:53 Professional Aspirations and Challenges

22:01 Empathy and Helping Others

24:50 The Cost of Doing the Right Thing

25:22 Balancing Family and Career

25:48 Struggles of a Stay-at-Home Mom

27:44 Finding Joy and Autonomy

29:46 Guilt and Cognitive Dissonance

33:15 Pursuing a Career in Mental Health

36:43 Starting a Private Practice

41:10 The Birth of Latter Day Struggles Podcast

43:58 Helping Others Through Faith Expansion

47:05 Commitment to a Higher Calling

50:43 Conclusion and Future Plans

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Missed the LIVE Q&A where Val recently answered the flood of questions that have come in on the heels of her & Nathan's brave series venturing into the realm of politics, polarization & human/cultural evolution of consciousness? 

In this Q&A Val takes some very challenging questions and walks you through ways in which politics & religion are reflections how people make sense of some of their ultimate concerns about themselves & others.  Don't miss this episode if you have been inhaling their current Friday series or if you are thinking about inhaling it very soon!  

00:00 Introduction and Purpose of the Live Session
03:32 The Impact of Current Events on Mental Health
04:02 Human Growth and Development in Political Context
05:32 Introducing Latter Day Struggles 2.0
06:00 Transcend and Include: A New Approach to Faith
07:35 Understanding Human and Societal Development
09:47 Integral Theory and Its Relevance Today
11:22 Stages of Consciousness and Societal Growth
14:18 The Role of Politics in Human Development
19:43 Addressing Listener Questions
20:41 The Importance of Dialogue and Understanding
27:07 Personal Reflections and Political Evolution
47:46 Red Flags in Spiritual and Political Leaders
55:00 Talking to Children About Current Events
01:01:58 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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In this episode Valerie is the guest on the thought-provoking Inside Out Podcast, one of the first podcasts to interview her following the dramatic events that led up to the Hamakers' decision to resign from the LDS church rather than collude in an excommunication process that they did not endorse as ethical, legitimate, or appropriate.  

This episode takes you through Val's early life and path leading to her current work and delves into the challenges she faced with church leadership due to her public mental health work on behalf of thousands of Latter-day Saints through her Latter Day Struggles Platform.

Among other things, Valerie discusses the critical tensions between church policies, doctrines, and personal mental health, while providing insights on how the LDS Church can evolve to better support its members.  

**In the next several Monday episodes documenting Valerie's and Nathan's experiences connected to their resignation from the LDS church in March of 2025, Valerie represents the couple as Nathan is currently working out of town and unavailable during traditional recording hours.  They apologize as so many of you so deeply benefit from his unique insights and perspectives!  

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In this episode Val is a guest on the wonderful In Her Image Podcast to discuss the complex emotional journey of awakening to the divine feminine. They explore common emotional responses to one's realization that s/he has been estranged from half of deity for one's whole life, awakening to the power that many of us give away in allowing others to define who the Divine is, and how this journey almost always leads to the need to redefine one's relationship with the LDS church in ways that are more differentiated, self advocating, and truly connecting with ones' Divine Source. 

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In this episode Valerie is interviewed by her good friends and fellow podcasters Susan Hinckley and Cynthia Wynward and the three talk about what it is like to be outspoken women in a 21st Century church that is not so sure what to do with this kind of woman. They are candid in their experiences, struggles, and insecurities as they figure out their own faith journeys somewhat in the public eye while walking with thousands of others through their own complex experiences.

Bottom Line: In a church that has chronically valued women for their ability to stand by in supporting roles, these women are showing this generation of people in and around the LDS church that 'fragile' has a whole new meaning nowadays!

Listen, become empowered, and share this episode! 

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Series Title: In-depth Exploration of Patriarchy & its Correlation to Violence & Abuse [Part VIII of X]

Join Val & Nathan as they respectfully lean into specific risk factors associated with formalized patriarchal religious institutions (including the LDS church) & how these vulnerabilities play out in very real ways.  They also explore how our children can eventually become safer as their caregivers become educated & reach a critical mass of light & knowledge about the harmful (even if unintended) consequences to many children raised within patriarchal homes & churches. 

**Please note, Val & Nathan are not implying that child abuse & violence are *inevitable* when their families and churches are patriarchal. They are simply unpacking all of the heavily researched data pointing to heightened risk factors associated with patriarchy and violence/abuse. Please, let us learn from the ample data & protect our children.

Referenced in this Episode: 

Associated Press: Seven years of sex abuse: How Mormon officials let it happen

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Series Title: In-depth Exploration of Patriarchy & its Correlation to Violence & Abuse [Part VIIof X]

In today's episode, Val & Nathan walk through the layered risk factors around spousal violence/abuse that married couples are exposed to when belonging to a formalized institutional patriarchal church. Reinforcement of male authority, inadequately trained clergy offering counseling services, isolation from external oversight/support, and tendencies to protect the male abusers (esp those with leadership callings) are all discussed. They also make recommendations for inviting a safer/healthier marriage theology and climate that will contribute to individual & marital flourishing. 

**Please note, Val & Nathan are not implying that abuse & violence are *inevitable* when couples hold a patriarchal worldview or belong to a formalized patriarchal religious institution--they are simply unpacking all of the heavily researched data pointing to heightened risk factors associated with patriarchy and violence/abuse.

Referenced in this Episode: 

Associated Press - Seven years of sex abuse: How Mormon officials let it happen

Bell Hooks - The Will to Change; Men, Masculinity and Love 

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Series Title: In-depth Exploration of Patriarchy & its Correlation to Violence & Abuse [Part V of X]

In this episode Val & Nathan walk through a series of other very common communities where men-on-men violence is normalized--culminating in a discussion that shows clearly that it is not a coincidence that patriarchal structures enforce strict rules on both women & LGBTQ+ people for the same underlying reason. 

They will walk you through the "rules" and consequences imposed on sexual/gender non-conforming people and how deeply embedded systemic patriarchies use God to justify all kinds of violence & abuse directed at those not willing to acknowledge this man-made system of domination.  

Referenced in This Episode: 

Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion - Gregory Boyle

Podcast: Breaking Down Patriarchy- Episode 37: How to be an Anti-Patriarchist with Levi Murray 

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