Latter Day Struggles

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In this special Office Hours recording, a couple dozen people joined Valerie to talk about the emotional experience that only the former devout Mormon will understand.  Why does this weekend bring up so much?  

Listen to Val & four of the guests that attended this Office Hours recording as they talk about grief, loneliness, fear, and confusion.  They hit topics that likely hit home with you too:  about parenting and mixed faith marriage emotions...loss of simplicity, feeling left out of the celebratory mood, and other emotions typical of this weekend that many of us used to find connecting and meaningful in times gone by.

Timestamps:

00:00 Tribute Episode Re Drop

01:45 Queerphobia Paradigms Preview

03:30 Why Share This Now

05:38 Office Hours Pop Up Intro

07:15 Conference Weekend Complexity

09:28 Loneliness In Faith Shift

13:37 Compassion And New Community

18:43 Grief Over Conference Changes

26:05 Existential Grief And Integration

31:57 Fear And Emotional Overload

35:18 Fear Of Disconnection

37:01 Differentiation In Mormon Families

37:55 Bookshelf Metaphor

39:07 Practice Compassionate Curiosity

41:49 Parenting In Mixed Faith

44:55 Collaborate With Your Partner

52:09 Create Conference Safe Space

54:09 Discernment Over Zeal

58:47 Closing Reflections

59:49 New Healing Group Format

01:01:46 Final Thanks And Goodbye

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Just a quick announcement to start a process of changing my philosophy here on Latter Day Struggles. I care deeply about two things: YOU... And offering psychologically healing content for your Mormon faith expansion journey. If time or resources have ever been a barrier in joining one of my deeply healing groups--this upcoming pilot experiment group is for YOU. 

To all of you licensed and graduate level mental health workers out there who so loyally support me, please listen to this episode as well. I want to support each of you who do clinical mental health work with those in Mormon faith crisis. Listen here as I share a special gift to you as part of your tuition when you join this group. 

Finally, thank you all for your trust and support. I feel fortunate every day that I get to be in connection with such amazing humans. 

Please share this announcement with anyone in your circles who might benefit. I expect this group to fill quickly so don't hesitate if this work calls to you!

Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome And Update

00:49 The Access Conundrum

02:55 No Quick Fixes

04:45 New Pilot Format

05:39 Curriculum Upfront

06:55 Ten Live Sessions

09:02 Affordability And Irony

11:13 Experiment And Invitation

12:25 Support For Clinicians

15:29 Scholarships And Gratitude

16:57 How To Join And Goodbye

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Join Our Healing From Patriarchy Support Group

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Very few of us doubt that we have been profoundly impacted by the imprints of patriarchy in our early personality development. What most do not know is that this is not a 'life sentence'. 

In this episode Val walks through her passion, approach, and even a few specific activities built into her updated Healing from Patriarchy group curriculum. If you are not sure if this experience if for you, this episode is for you. If you are worried about sharing vulnerable things in a group, listen in and rest assured that all group members can participate as little or as much in the group processing activities. And most of all, if you are tired of doing faith crisis thing alone or only with angry people who offer no path to healing, this episode is your invitation to find your people and your peace. 

** If you believe in Valerie's work and would like to contribute to a scholarship fund that helps others afford group healing work, please reach out at [email protected] to make a tax-deductible donation. 

** If you need assistance to join a group, scholarships are sometimes available, pending donation participation from our listening community.

Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome and Overview

01:21 Why Groups Feel Risky

02:38 Patriarchy Group Opens Up

06:33 True Self Narratives

13:21 Who This Is For

21:41 What We Will Cover

27:04 New Exercises Preview

31:16 Polygamy Letter Healing

41:45 Logistics and Community

45:18 Final Invitation and Goodbye

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Join Our Healing From Patriarchy Support Group

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Patriarchy impacts people at a soul-wrenching level, and perhaps no other group is more stricken than our LGBTQ+ community. Please join us for a re-drop of a beautiful episode looking at Carol Lynn Pearson's breathtaking book, Goodbye, I Love You, which Valerie references to describe a 5 messages internalized by LDS queer people AND 5 healing counterpoints- deep truths about the divine identities of our queer loved ones and selves. 

Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome and Redrop Plan

06:20 Why Patriarchy Needs Context

10:49 Origins Jesus and Mormonism

15:45 Awakening and Upcoming Episodes

32:20 Re-drop Begins No More Goodbyes

38:25 Book Premise and Audience

41:27 Paradigm One Innate Worth

51:30 Paradigm Two Unconditional Love

01:03:25 A Father’s Blessing

01:11:15 Microaggressions and Doctrine

01:22:33 Attachment Theory Explained

01:29:44 Brad’s Heartbreaking Story

01:40:53 Raising Consciousness Hope

01:48:27 Final Review and Farewell

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Join Our Healing From Patriarchy Support Group

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In this priceless short series, Val & Carol Lynn delve into Carol Lynn's deepest passion: feminism.  Listen is as she delights us with stories about her unforgettable one-woman play "Mother Wove the Morning" and even moves into her amazing actress role and performs 2 of her characters!  

Then join Val & CLP as they talk about another version of 'baptisms for the dead'...the feminist version. You'll love these episodes and likely want to listen many times...they are vintage CLP! 

Timestamps:

00:00 Series Preview

10:53 Creating the Characters

17:57 Bravery and Backlash

28:40 Audience Impact

37:55 A Timely Renaissance

47:42 Notable Venues

56:43 Myths Rewrite the Feminine

01:05:46 War Erases the Feminine

01:13:24 Rachel and the Teraphim

01:22:41 Elizabeth Cady Stanton Speaks

01:35:45 Work for the Dead Reframed

01:43:51 From Patriarchy to Partnership

01:48:11 Where to Watch and Final Goodbye

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Join Our Healing From Patriarchy Support Group

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In honor of our very beloved Carol Lynn Pearson (a bold, sassy woman and the dearest of mentors to me) I wanted to share this beautiful two-part conversation that we had early in the podcast. Listen in and take in what true wit, wisdom, courage, healthy personal authority and value of one's community looks like all wrapped up in one glorious woman.  

Timestamps:

00:00 Intro and Re-Release

03:29 Meet Carolyn Pearson

10:38 Writing as Calling

15:37 Goodbye I Love You Impact

23:08 No More Goodbyes and Facing East

42:18 Speaking Truth in the Church

48:46 Chakras Into Kingdoms

56:07 Repentance And Forgiveness

01:04:20 Guts Plus Heart Courage

01:11:37 Staying In The Church

01:21:56 Policy Pain And Testimony

01:31:44 Heavenly Mother And Creation

01:41:34 Paradigm Shift to Partnership

01:47:50 Men Dismantling Patriarchy

01:55:57 Writing and Creative Process

02:01:10 Kind and Brave in Marriage

02:11:14 The Love Map and Farewell

Support the show

Join Our Healing From Patriarchy Support Group

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Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10

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Join Val as her audience while she does a final run through on a topic that has come to be a passion project for her on Latter Day Struggles.  In short, what can we do as faith-expanding people in and around the LDS church to ease the polarization between the fiery fundamentalist Mormon and the fiery Ex-Mormon?  

Oddly enough, these two "poles" exist as counterpoints to one another on the opposite extreme.  If one pole chooses a "third way" balance is disrupted, and growth becomes more likely.  We on the Mormon faith journey may not be able to impact all aspects on the extreme side of Mormon fundamentalism/ orthodoxy...but how we handle our own growth journeys CAN change a LOT.  Listen in and let us know what you think! 

Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome and Sunstone Preview

01:26 Why Polarization Matters

05:20 The Growth Ladder Model

11:05 Healthy Mormon Fusion

14:55 Differentiation and Faith Crisis

19:55 Integration and Inclusion

26:54 When Growth Gets Stuck

27:56 Fixation in Orthodoxy

33:53 Chronic Differentiation Trap

45:58 Breaking the Polarization Dance

48:47 Processing Wisely in Crisis

58:57 Third Way Closing

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Join Our Healing From Patriarchy Support Group

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Have you ever done something for the first time and feel that pit in your stomach as it approaches?  Well, here at Latter Day Struggles, pretty much EVERYTHING  that we do is a first!  And it always brings that insecure "what have I gotten myself into?" sensation!  

This episode is Val's candid reflections about an evening shared with over a hundred "in person" and "streaming" loved ones who have experienced growth and healing with her.  

A bottom line?  You might be experiencing growth and healing in some way through this podcast and platform.  But you are also giving this gift of healing to Val and Nathan Hamaker.  They thank you and love you.  

Hoping you enjoy Val's thoughts on the gift that this healing community is to her.  Because of you.  

Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome and Event Recap

01:06 Why Stories of Healing

04:25 Origin Story Artwork

06:08 Sharing Beyond the Room

08:19 Event Day Emotions

08:37 Three Audience Groups

13:04 Grief and Perspective Shift

16:56 Program Highlights and Readings

25:40 What It Meant to Me

29:24 Q&A Next Steps

34:24 Closing Gratitude

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Join Our Healing From Patriarchy Support Group

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Lately there has been a lot of talk about the LDS disaffiliation crisis in the 21st century. Here at Latter Day Struggles we support open dialogue about what happening in our LDS homes and congregations.  

Please enjoy this special "audiobook" addition of a Latter Day Struggles series unpacking some groundbreaking research done by therapist Liz Macdonald exploring common LDS family dynamics shared by young adults whose disaffiliation experiences were the most challenging.  

We care about people all across the spectrum of faith in and around the LDS church.  Taking research like this seriously could profoundly reshape our community in healthy ways. 

Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome

03:54 Meet Liz and The Study

11:48 Method and Study Limits

22:03 Four Key Findings Overview

28:00 Disconnected From Self

52:20 Fear-Based Theology and Parenting

01:02:38 Conditional Love and Worthiness

01:12:42 False Self and Hidden Struggles

01:22:32 One-Way Communication and Fear

01:31:17 Blaming Outside Influences

01:40:20 New Episode Research Overview

01:57:49 Purity Culture and Shame

02:08:05 Adult Development and Compassion

02:20:19 Fear of Selfhood

02:30:25 High Demand Religion

02:44:22 Research Recap

02:52:12 Eight Stages Walkthrough

03:04:59 Parents Threatened by Growth

03:19:13 Fundamentalism and Safety

03:27:20 From Identity to Intimacy

03:34:37 Recommendations and Repair

03:41:27 Closing and Resources

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Join Our Healing From Patriarchy Support Group

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In this episode Val digs into the concept of prophet worship [or any time humans hand over their discerning power to a formal authority figure] from the context of psychology and the “shadow”. 

While we tend to talk about our “shadows” from the context of that which we are ashamed of, sometimes we actually disown our greatest divine attributes. 

Tune in to this episode to learn why this happens and how to reintegrate our “golden shadows” back into our core identities.  This conversation is an extension of Episode 447, so go back and listen if this intrigues you!

Does the idea of awakening your core identity or "True Self" resonate with you ? If so, jump onto a waitlist to join Valerie’s next healing group that focuses on the awakening of one’s True Self core identity. 

This group is titled “Fundamentals of LDS Faith Crisis Healing” and the next group of this type begins spring of 2027!

Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome and Setup 

03:09 Traditional Shadow Basics 

07:58 Golden Shadow Defined 

09:27 Projection and Triggers 

12:36 Golden Shadow Projection Example

17:07 How Outsourcing Happens

20:08 Official Carrier and the Cost of Imperfection 

25:37 When Following the Prophet Doesn't Work 

29:36 Reclaiming Discernment 

32:22 Practicing and Giving Yourself Grace 

35:52 Integration Not Overcorrecting 

39:15 Closing Thoughts

Support the show

Join Our Healing From Patriarchy Support Group

Support the show

Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES

Friday Episodes Annual Access $89

Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10

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