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In this heartwarming episode, Val is the guest on the Therapy Brothers podcast hosted by brothers & fellow relationship therapists Brannon and Tyler Patrick.   

The topic is navigating the choppy waters of a marriage in distress due to the faith journey of one of the partners--a demographic of couples that is multiplying rapidly.  

The bottom line? A faith transition can (and has) weakened or destroyed many a marriage.  But guess what?  A faith transition can actually strengthen a marriage in ways that virtually nothing else can--if both partners have the framework and the tools.  

Listen in as Valerie shares her experiences and strategies helping countless distressed couples rediscover love by:

•  redefining what healthy marriage is
• focusing on values over beliefs
• embracing discomfort for growth 
• fostering deep connections through compassion, curiosity, and healthy differentiation of self.   

Whether you're in a faith-expanding journey or just want to deepen your relationship, this episode is packed with wisdom to guide you through the intricate dance of intimate relationship & spiritual evolution.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction and Going Live

00:33 Weekend Stories and Parenting

02:33 Introducing Valerie Hamer

04:00 Valerie's Professional Journey

06:08 Navigating Faith and Relationships

11:49 The Role of Compassion and Understanding

32:39 Process Over Content in Relationships

42:14 Valerie's Resources and Conclusion

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Series Title: Dialogue Foundation Gospel Study: A Novel Approach to D&C 76 [II of IV]

Join Val and Nathan as they offer a very novel take on D&C 76 as guest instructors for the Dialogue Foundation's Gospel Study Program. In this episode they dive into the difference between "waking up" (a one-time peak spiritual experience) and "growing up" (the slow and steady move through stages of psychological development & consciousness awakening) and contend that "waking up" experiences MUST be looked at through the lens of one's own (and one's culture's) stage of consciousness development.  

This framing sheds a whole new light on prevalent interpretations of the Mormon version of heaven (cishet, transactional, patriarchal, etc.) and might help you understand how this revelation both shares some aspects of the perennial tradition but also veers quite dramatically away from it.  Episodes three and four will illustrate this principle in detail.  

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

00:34 Discussing Integral Theory

06:08 Stages of Faith and Community

11:28 Exploring Transcend and Include

14:59 Doctrine and Covenants Section 76

17:31 Waking Up vs. Growing Up

36:21 Conclusion and Reflections

Books Referenced: 

The Different Drum: Community Making & Peace (New Hope for Humankind) - M. Scott Peck, M.D.

Finding Radical Wholeness: The Integral Path to Unity, Growth, & Delight - Ken Wilber

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In this episode Valerie is the guest on the podcast Black & White & Gold hosted by Carly and Rob Allred where they engage in a compelling conversation on gender and faith. 

Valerie is becoming the prominent voice for the LDS Church advocating for educating men around the harms of patriarchal indoctrination on male development. This work is yielding good results as more and more LDS men are becoming feminists in their own right and are declining traditional attitudes and roles of male privilege while speaking up for the equality needed to create a truly healthy community.

Tune in to hear a narrative that merges deep love for tradition with a call for transformative change.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction to Self-Trust and Patriarchal Systems

00:42 Exploring Patriarchy in Season Three

01:29 Defining Patriarchy and Its Impact

03:08 Introducing Valerie Hamaker

03:35 Valerie Hamaker's Background and Work

06:34 Challenges and Resignation from the LDS Church

09:06 The Aftermath and Community Support

12:21 Understanding Patriarchal and Dominator Models

23:37 The Harmful Effects of Patriarchy on Men

24:13 Personal Experiences with Patriarchy

25:33 The Impact of Patriarchy on Men

28:52 Exploring Masculine and Feminine Energies

32:04 Patriarchy and Gender Norms

34:57 The Fragility of Patriarchal Structures

40:55 Hope for Egalitarianism in Church Structures

46:05 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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Series Title:  Dialogue Foundation Gospel Study: A Novel Approach to D&C 76 [ I of IV] 

Can the 76th section of the Doctrine & Covenants be seen through the lens of the Great Wisdom Traditions?  You're about it find out!  Listen as Valerie and Nathan delve into a fascinating exploration of the perennial philosophy and its deep structures that permeate various religious traditions.  One thing that is permeates all of the wisdom traditions?  A universal patterns of understanding of progression that unfolds as humans become more and more like the source of Divine Love.   

After listening to this episode, you'll begin to see more clearly how 'transcending & including' is key to seeing faith in a broader, more loving way.  

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

00:15 Teaching the Dialogue Foundation Gospel Study

01:43 Doctrine and Covenants Section 76: Three Degrees of Glory

02:57 Transcend and Include: A Case Study

14:37 The Perennial Tradition and Deep Structures

21:42 Surface Structures and Cultural Interpretations

30:27 Applying Perennial Philosophy to Doctrine and Covenants

35:43 Conclusion and Next Steps

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In this episode Valerie is guest on the Parrish the Thought podcast where Brian Parrish interviews Val on the resistance she experienced from local priesthood leaders as a mental health worker tending to the complex issues of faith crisis in an institution that has yet to understand either the faith journey itself or widespread mental/relational/spiritual health issues that come from pathologizing the faith journey. 

As we all know—fear of church leaders did not deter Val & Nathan and their love of YOU [their listeners!] is only stronger these many months following their crucible experience.  

Moral of the story? Integrity breeds empowerment. 

Listen in and feel empowered to own your own soul too!

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:25 Valerie's Background and Podcast Journey
01:49 Starting the Private Practice
03:57 Intersection of Faith and Mental Health
05:12 Challenges and Growth in the Church
07:06 Launching the Podcast
09:58 Therapeutic Insights and Faith Dynamics
21:41 Confronting Church Leadership
33:22 Complexities of Faith and Leadership
39:31 The Challenge of Updating Church Doctrine
42:25 Personal Journey and Podcast Impact
46:29 Facing Church Leadership
57:19 Decision to Withdraw Membership
01:05:17 Reflections on Church and Personal Integrity
01:16:25 Final Thoughts and Contact Information

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In this episode, Val & Nathan explore how moving from the depths of faith crisis to spiritual transformation must involve the embracing a journey that both transcends former paradigms while including their place in each person's upward journey. 

To illustrate this, they use the poignant article written by the much beloved LDS scholar Melissa Inouye, who beautifully illustrates this principle through her personal faith journey within the framework of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, including moving personal realizations that came to her shortly before she succumbed to cancer only recently. 

 This episode highlights the importance of embracing complexity and using love as a lens to view different levels of consciousness as they unfold within ourselves and others.  Tune in to this heartfelt and insightful tribute to Melissa, who walked a path of 'transcend & include' that can be honored and followed as we each grow in consciousness.   

00.00 Intro

02:33 Integral Theory and its Broader Applications

03:32 Focus on Spiritual Transformation

04:05 Introduction to Melissa Iue's Article

05:35 Melissa Iue's Faith Journey

09:14 Embracing the Church's Contradictions

12:40 The Role of Covenants and Community

21:03 Facing Illness and Finding Support

24:11 The Complexity of Church Structures

27:24 The Path of Most Resistance

28:26 Melissa's Faith Journey

29:27 Transcending and Including

30:45 The Lens of Love and Empathy

32:01 Dignifying Individual Spiritual Journeys

34:17 Transcending Anger and Embracing Love

36:32 Melissa's Article and Personal Growth

42:57 Family Dynamics and Spiritual Growth

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In this episode, Valerie shares an inspiring journey of self-discovery and spiritual growth with The Wholeness Network.  The theme was Brene Brown's exploration of the concept of "Braving the Wilderness" and on the heels of three years of learning to live & love one's truth at a potentially high social cost, Val felt that she had a couple of things to say about this.   

This episode is a sharing of history, emotion on both ends of the spectrum and ultimately,  a tale of courage, compassion, and finding one's true place in the world.  

00:00 Finding My Path: Early Struggles and Discoveries

00:40 A Surprising Call to Ministry

01:06 Discovering a Passion for Therapy

02:38 The Journey to Graduate School

03:18 Embracing Complexity in Faith and Life

04:40 Launching a Podcast: Unexpected Success

07:40 Understanding the Faith Journey

08:11 Stages of Faith and Personal Growth

10:25 Challenges and Courage in Faith Transitions

15:40 The Role of Compassion and Empathy

23:45 Trusting Oneself and Embracing the Divine Within

27:49 The Price and Reward of Spiritual Journeys

28:05 Experiences of Resonance and Support

33:28 Navigating Faith and Personal Growth

42:36 Understanding Patriarchy in Faith Communities

50:58 The Impact of Enmeshed Family Systems

58:22 Embracing Wholeness and Self-Integration 

Afterward:  After their forced resignation from the LDS church in March of 2025, Val & Nathan were invited to share their stories on about a dozen podcasts.  Due to Nathan's currently heavy travel schedule, most of these guest appearances are (unfortunately!) just Valerie.  Thanks for sharing this journey with the Hamakers! 

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In this episode Val & Nathan feature a powerful article titled, "What Can I Do?" by political analyst and friend, Brian Dille, exploring how to find common ground amid political and ideological divides. Discover actionable insights on how to engage in meaningful activism, focus on shared values, and build bridges instead of walls. This episode is a thoughtful exploration of how to transcend current limitations while honoring our developmental paths.

00:14 Introducing the Transcending and Including Series

01:52 The Inspiration Behind the Series

04:30 Introducing Brian's Article

14:38 Reading Brian's Article: What Can I Do?

28:14 Effective Local Advocacy

28:51 Mitigating Harmful Policies

29:24 Making Your Voice Heard

30:20 The Power and Limits of Protests

32:09 National Efforts and Local Impact

34:03 Conclusion: Taking Action and Self-Care

35:11 Transcend and Include: Bridging Ideological Divides

44:33 Finding Common Ground in Political Discussions

56:16 Real-Life Examples of Collaboration

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In this exciting solo episode, Valerie reflects on the profound personal growth she has experienced over the past few months and shares her plans for what she is informally dubbing the "Latter Day Struggles 2.0" era.  

In some ways, you will continue to get what you have come to expect--a respectful & honest conversation about all things Mormon through the lens of healthy psychology.  Where 2.0 is going to shine is in several upcoming  "Transcending & Including Mormonism" special series that will run every Friday for listeners looking to deepen their faith journey, finally get 'unstuck', or are hungry for their next wave of deepening growth. 

Join Val in embarking on this new chapter, offering deeper, more holistic explorations of faith and consciousness.  

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In 2016 I went Trump and so did over half of the caucasian women who voted in the United States. Why? In this episode I use myself as a specimen for the study of the white, middle-class, educated, Christian, conservative, heterosexual, married woman who felt more comfortable voting for an old, white man with a questionable resume and even more questionable track record around his respect for my exact demographic. 

And guess what? The exact same percentage of the exact same demographic did the same thing in 2024 (minus myself, I am proud to report). 

Tune in to learn more about the psychology of this voting block and (surprise surprise) how this phenomenon has everything to do with what Christian conservatism often embeds in women accustomed to male leadership as ordained of God, an older white male deity, lower self advocacy, & the need to be safe in a man's care & a life committed to deferring to others' wisdom & well-being. 

00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
00:16 Reflecting on Personal Vulnerability
00:32 Political Series Recap and Ken Wilber's Theory
03:21 Exploring the 2016 Trump Election Phenomenon
05:38 White Women's Voting Patterns
12:22 Psychological and Cultural Influences
20:17 Personal Experiences and Reflections
32:17 Understanding Women's Support for Trump
52:58 Concluding Thoughts and Personal Growth

Referenced in this Episode: 

Down Girl: The Logic of Misogyny - Kate Manne

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